Do we really believe in rules made on how to get an ex back and so on or just go with the natural flow. For example, the rule might say ignore the opposite and some other games but don't we think it might be natural to follow your instincts and maybe call and that might change everything and bring you back together. Or is it really necessary to follow the rules?

why wld u want ur ex back? esp in ur case where he cheated and doesnt want to come back. . . . leave him alone jor and move on. . . if he wnats to come back he will. , u cant make anyone do anything they dont want to do!

Hotness

She can't seem to help her self . . . .the dude is like meth in her system and the desire to have him back is pushing her to believe that she can change the EX and have him back to herself. his effect will ebb out eventually. . . .she's still just very attached to the guy right now . . .thats all

You are right. I'm still praying to really forget him but then i remember things we've been through n though i still go on dates, have a lot of guys at my feet, damn! love is crazy. I just thought bout letting him know what we've been through together, then finally give up or just ignore and wait for maybe 2 weeks n see the next step. Well God knows best. I miss him, Iwon't lie n i still have billions of company or guys asking me out n showing me love so i aint lonely. I just miss him.

try not to dwell on it too much, , it will hurt for a while but it will eventually fade. . . avoid being a lone too much, hang out with u friends, hav laugh as often as possible. . . and when u feel down, do something to take ur mind off it

Monicaa:

You are right. I'm still praying to really forget him but then i remember things we've been through n though i still go on dates, have a lot of guys at my feet, damn! love is crazy. I just thought bout letting him know what we've been through together, then finally give up or just ignore and wait for maybe 2 weeks n see the next step. Well God knows best. I miss him, Iwon't lie n i still have billions of company or guys asking me out n showing me love so i aint lonely. I just miss him.

If ur feel so strongly about it then give him a call.
Why suffer in silence?? Nuthing ventured, nuthing gained.

I already texted him a short message to know how he's doing n got no reply. So i guess ive done my part.

hisses, call the guy, track am 4 him house,Bleep am e go come back 2 him sense jore, trust me if my ex bleeps me really good, im back 2 her, ha ha!! make una nor talk abt my response o, una get badmouth 4 this land.
up 9ja

@Monic
I hope I can call you that, I think I can weigh in a bit on your situation because I have been there and done it, look there is just one rule which you have to learn and that rule is follow your heart, nobody on this forum can really gauge how much he means to you, we can only speculate and say girl what is good for you to do is to move on oh! trust me that is the default answer, I went through worse than you did, mine was a 4 year relationship, so just imagine all the pain you are feeling now and multiply it by four .
People told me all sorts of things especially hey move on, I heard it everywhere I went and believe me when you have it drummed into your ears you begin to believe it and I deluded myself that I was moving on, began the sweet game of chasing em ladies again but it still did not sit well inside me until I decided to try and fight for what I wanted, in your case yes it looks like damaged goods but Monkey no fine im mama still like am.

You have to sit down and ask yourself some really important questions which is can you live with the fact that your man cheats? My dear I am a guy and I no go lie for you e no easy, but you have to know that your case is a bit severe because he started just one year into your relationship which means it is in his blood, and that is where you come in, look into the mirror and say can I live with this guy? Is he really a good person? Would he take care of me? Am I strong enough to distract him from other girls? Am I ready to try again?

Every break up in a long relationship fulfills a purpose and you have to stare hard and long to try and understand what this means, in my case I could never really understand why because I didn't even cheat on her for 4 years!  So I sat back and started reviewing everything from the beginning before I came up with my decision and followed it knowing that if I failed it would mean yes it was really the end and I would move on. Look girl take a break you are working over time., avoid friends that want to always talk about it, if possible move somewhere else for sometime, it has a therapeutic effect and try and see things you have not seen before, this world is a very big place, then if you feel that this journey of life would be better traveled with him then you can come back here and we will mount a challenge for you.

Cheers.

@ Chrisbenogor

I love ur answer cos it has a lot of sense in it and real. I guess my main problem aside me loving him is that I want to talk in person with him to analyse everything, then maybe it would be much easier. He told me on the phone n I dont have to be like him, two wrongs dont make a right thats why im doing the calling to ask him if we cud talk. But him ignoring my calls n such makes me not know what to do.
What is ur advice? call him or wat?

@190
lol, I wish i cud do that till he gets so tired

@monica

come did dis guy jazz u,wat kind of stupid love is dis?

where is ur brain?in d sea or wat?oya go get dis minute

dis is a guy dat told u hes got no feelings for u again,haba leave d man alone he is not interested


nonsense

@ Danke

No Im not jazzed, im quite sane. Not everyone behaves matured. I love him, i won't lie but considering all i went n have been thru in this relationship n some1 tells u this on the fone when u still have a lot to say before u finally take a bow but cant n it's still on ur mind. What wud u do? So is asking to see n tlk in person stupid love? Maybe u havent been there, cos if u have, u wudnt be talking like this n i dont need self pity, im only asking for help n all.

@Monic
LOL you are sounding like me already, you know how many sim card dem sieze for my hand, I was trying to call non stop, she ignore me sotay dem change her number
Let me be serious now, the thing is this my dear , I will not lie to you he might really not be into you anymore and only you can tell that is why I said go back think really well and try to understand his kind of person, try not to delude yourself, if some other persons or some other girl is poisoning his mind that would be his default reaction, you know the don't call me again and all that. Now this is where you have to flex the muscle of your will, trust me in the end no matter the outcome of all this you would be a stronger willed person, try and ignore him, e go hard die, in fact it will be like being under water and you will be trying really really hard but put your mind to it and do it, look if you do not talk to him for two weeks it will not change anything if you guys are going to get back together so send him a text and tell him not to be threatened, all you need is a bit of closure so you can go one with your life, if he does reply then fine we can go on to that phase, but if he does not then we will have to do something harder but first you have to ignore him for at least two weeks, no calls , no texts no nothing, if you are ready to do that call him and tell him this, try your best not to cry, try your best to sound great, try your best to convey to him that what you really need is closure and you want to stop stalking him.
If he doesn't respond to you send him an mms or a text with all that, remember your goal is to get to talk to him alone and somewhere private.

Monicaa:

@ Danke

No I'm not jazzed, I'm quite sane. Not everyone behaves matured. I love him, i won't lie but considering all i went n have been through in this relationship n someone tells u this on the phone when u still have a lot to say before u finally take a bow but can't n it's still on ur mind. What would u do? So is asking to see n tlk in person stupid love? Maybe u havent been there, because if u have, u wudnt be talking like this n i don't need self pity, I'm only asking for help n all.

Seems to me like you haven't had closure yet. If you know where he lives then go there and stake out. lol. Once he comes out then try to have a chat with him. I reckon he isn't going to call you or answer your calls. Right now it may seem like all you is to think about him but give yourself sometime and you will just fine.

me be in that situation,in my dating days,those men know that they can't try anything stupid wt me ,because i am d "i don't care type" ,neither do i go about clinging on a mans sleeve as if hes  d only idiot on earth

monica if d guy does not want to talk to u,then let him be,goshhhhhhh

maybe d mere sight of u ,irritates him,yes,I'm that kind of person,d mere sight of people irritate me and i just ignore that person totally

he said its over what do u want to talk about?him accepting u back?infact go and check ur HIV status and know if hes transferred it to u

smone that cheats on u,smone that has no feelings for u,smone that does not appreciate u as a woman,smone who has nt got ur best interest at heart,smone that has been wt u just out of pity because of ur too much beggins,smone who jjust through away d little honour u have left in u on d floor,u r telling me u want to talk things out,what things?i ask monica what things?

I'm glad U know what n how it feels considering the fact u've been there. So i guess I'll try n do this, ignore him for like 2 weeks, then take the next phase though as i was typing this, i was also thinking of calling him now to ask him when he's free so we could have a drink or so n talk that's if he even picks up.

Monicaa:

I'm glad U know what n how it feels considering the fact u've been there. So i guess I'll try n do this, ignore him for like 2 weeks, then take the next phase though as i was typing this, i was also thinking of calling him now to ask him when he's free so we could have a drink or so n talk that's if he even picks up.

u dont want to talk things out and blablabla,u want to beg him to come back,dats it ,dont deny it

thats wat d subject of this thread is all about,tips on how to get an ex back

the ex does not want u ,let him be abeg,really if dat ex was my brother i would have told him to embarass u on d streets of wherever u live

dnt call me rude or harsh,im trying to be real here

Monicaa:

I'm glad U know what n how it feels considering the fact u've been there. So i guess I'll try n do this, ignore him for like 2 weeks, then take the next phase though as i was typing this,[b] i was also thinking of calling him now to ask him when he's free so we could have a drink [/b]or so n talk that's if he even picks up.

You sef. . U no dey hear word abi? LEAVE HIM ALONE! That means don't call and don't text. The more you call him the more you are making him feel extra important. Let him be. Try and move on. Sometimes in life you never find the closure that you want. You got to deal with it somehow.

@Danke

See take it easy on this babe not everyone is like you, do you know her guy that you know she will be irritating him? no , when me I do break ups it is with a smile oh I no dey frown at all not to talk of irritate ke, lol. She will learn by hook or crook that is obvious.

why do you want ur ex back

@ Danke

I can understand where u r coming from. There are just some things I've kept in mind for so long n no not to take me back but also make him feel guilty for all he put me through cos im feeling he wud be thinking he did me no wrong since i was the one that overreacted the last time b4 this. U know how it feels keeping things in ur heart. I want to say my mind n walk out not begging him but if this isnt right i guess ill just leave it to time.

@chrisbenogor
I'm glad U know what n how it feels considering the fact u've been there. So i guess I'll try n do this, ignore him for like 2 weeks, then take the next phase though as i was typing this, i was also thinking of calling him now to ask him when he's free so we could have a drink or so n talk that's if he even picks up.

Chrisbenogor:

@Danke

See take it easy on this babe not everyone is like you, do you know her guy that you know she will be irritating him? no , when me I do break ups it is with a smile oh I no dey frown at all not to talk of irritate ke, lol. She will learn by hook or crook that is obvious.

really ,dis r topics i hate seeing on dis forum,topics of pple who cant add a little pride to the shattered one

the first time dis babe opened up a thread i read her story and blive me dis guy dat shes dying for does not even deserve to stare at her on d streets not to talk of dating her

abeg smone dat said hes no longer interested ,not picking up his calls,not replying msgs,do u need anybody to tel u dat once he sees her num or txt he gets irritated

im not a harsh person ,but plsss ,i hate pple dat fallinlove blindly,d guy is not inlove again let her leave him alone,shes suffocating him for heavens sake

Thanks y'all, but Danke yeah that was harsh. I am a matured babe not a kid but sometimes one has to put aside pride n do what he/she thinks is right. It's different if we spoke n the reason behind this is different not make me suffer, then i overreact n u tell me thru the fone. N yes he didnt tell me he didnt want me thats y i need closure but i guess the bottom line from everyone is to LET HIM GO n I would do just that. I believe time n karma would hunt him down cos i really didnt deserve such. N for those asking him wanting him back, yeah i do but that's within me, the main things i want to do is to TALK to him.

sorry if im harsh monic

but smtimes u need pple to keep it real,wen a girl is still doing the things shes been warned against,wat do u expect me to do,its as if d the advises we gave to u dat day was not aprreciated

leave d man alone,i wish busybody was here sef,cos i remember she also posted on d other thread

the man has smone else,let him be,but first go run a test on urself in d hospital

monicaa if it works pls tell me how you did it.

Danke:

sorry if I'm harsh monic

but smtimes u need people to keep it real,when a girl is still doing the things shes been warned against,what do u expect me to do,its as if d the advises we gave to u that day was not aprreciated
leave d man alone,i wish busybody was here sef,because i remember she also posted on d other thread

the man has smone else,let him be,but first go run a test on yourself in d hospital

I agree
One person can't save a relationship, it takes two but since the guy doesnt give a damn then why bother too

DavidDylan:

monicaa if it works please tell me how you did it.

has ruby left u already

haaa david bawoni,omo nko?se o wa


[s]its moi jenny,ive ben baptised again by seun[/s]

@Danke
Thanks 4 ur help neways,no looking back

@ Tope2000
right, i guess i did all the work n it's time to sit back n chill

@DavidDylan
I would let u know when karma helps me out, not wishing him bad but let him have a taste of wat he put me thru.

others, Thanks a lot n i truly appreciate it. It's hard but i wud scale thru. Amen.

@DavidDylan
R u in the same situation?

@Chika98

yeah i havent gotten closure but closure or not closure, i think i give up n leave it to God n time. It hurts though.

@Monic
See the trick to all this things is not to play your hand, I do not know what your present state is, but I can bet you cry about it at least twice or three times in a week, see you have to try and re invent yourself, change your tactics like a chameleon that's why I stressed the part of not showing him how much this affects you that alone can start the process you want.
So if it is drinks you asking him to make sure you do it in a very offhanded way, not too seriously like doomsday is coming on him and prepare yourself to be told an outright NO, if he refuses tease him with one of your favourite jokes and cajoule him not a whiny begging, try to pass across that you are starting to live the life and just want to share some time with him. Good luck.

@Danke
See you are totally off here, do you know the two of them? you just read and you are concluding, her pride is her pride, what she wants is what she wants, I hate it when people go about forcing stuff on other people , evidently she is not satisfied with the outcome of it all so the possibilities are that

1. The guy continues to ignore her and some point she would realise that the game is really over
2. The guy talks to her and they reason things through.

See let us keep things real here for a moment, tell me where in your replies you are considering how this girl is feeling? She is passing through stages just like a child does in the womb and in the end she will come out a better person, not a bitter person and start giving out replies filled with the venom of what guys have done to her in the past, that is what being real is. Does the guy deserve her, for now and from your perspective no, does she still want the guy regardless of all this, if it is yes how the flipping heck is that anyone's problem but her own?

I have seen my share of couples and I know not all of them are wishy washy perfect, some quarrel all the time, break up all the time even up until they get married and through their marriage and I have seen them metamorphose into better people, but it is what works for two of them and only her has the right to really decide if the guy is worth her troubles which he evidently still is to her.

@ poster

Don't follow any rules. Just be yourself and most of all be sincere.

Monica: You feel guilty because of what happened with you chasing him down the street BUT focus on him cheating and doing other durry stuff. Hang in there. This is will something to laugh about one day.