Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation - Romance (5) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation (38190 Views)
Checkout This Conversation Between A Lady's Ex-Boyfriend & Her New Man (Snapshot / Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation / Why Do Women Run When They Find Out You Have Children (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (11) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by dBard: 8:07pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
woodcook: I think the problem is more of a societal problem than a personal one. I am yet to see where it is written that someone most get married, should anyone have access to such info kindly share with me. The society puts pressure on people and mostly ladies they think if they don't get married the world would crash. Enjoy life and enjoy your relationship, if marriage works out fine if not move on. I have seen girls bend to societal pressure and get married only for them to want out in a couple of years. As per the issue where people go into married without properly accessing their financial situation, I only feel sorry for the kids. Thank you.. Jst d oda day, was wit a young colleague whose marriage has crashed. ..just after a few years. Build d relationship, marriage is a natural progression from that. |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Patdedon(m): 8:09pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
I wonder why ladies keep referring to marriage as a destination in a relationship. If you are dating because you want to get married I take it that your partner is a means to an end to you. And there's high probability that the love will die once you are married since your aim for claiming to love has been achieved. Live one day at a time and share your views, dreams and aspirations with your partner from the word go. If your dreams or lifestyles don't align, you know the next step to take One love. 2 Likes |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by prettyboi1(m): 8:14pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
ayukdaboss: I don't really understand people on this thread. Was the guys age on pause? Is it only the lady who spent four years? All the ladies here crying foul be sincere to yourself what picture do you have of a young family earning 120k per month in Nigeria? Do you wanna be in that house? Forget about love here some ladies will claim love will thrive above all problems of that marriage but they're the same folks who'll start putting unnecessary pressure on that man after the marriage.2 bottles for you my guy. 3 Likes |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by san316(m): 8:14pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
The gal is a witch. The guy is a coward. They are both selfish and marriage is a no go area for them. If the girl was wise, she would have raised this ish earlier, what has she been waiting for? And for the guy, the excuses he gave are childish and useless. If he loved her, all those thrash will not matter. The fact that they've been dating for that long will make their marital life(even to others) very inhabitable. |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Donvilo(m): 8:15pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
All I can say here is that both are to be blamed for not being responsible right from the beginning. The guy has a phobia for commitment based on what he is seeing around him, which is; most marriages he has observed is turning up sour, hence he's not sure whether if his own marriage will be a different one (which means this guy still needs a lot of answers to questions concerning his purpose & the true nature of commitment with his spouse, something that has been disturbing him deep within his heart) and also being that he's aware of the fact that a lot of financial responsiblities is needed for him to feel secured about raising a family (which is another thing the society wants to make us believe!) & he feels that he has not arrived there yet. But unfortunately, he was unable to discuss these fears with his spouse all these years!  And now he has made his intentions known only when she had confronted him. That's too bad. For him to tell her the truth is commendable but after four years, gosh that's a long time!Probably it might be because he has difficulties expressing his feelings with a woman or that he doesn't want to hurt her feelings or that the lady in question is not the listening-type (which is what I can see from the topic's conversation) And as for the lady, truly she did the right thing by asking such important question for her to know her stand but why living under assumption all these years when she could have save themselves of such stress by verifying their stand right from the onset?  What is she afraid of? That she will loose her man if she will ever raised such topic? It's better to loose a man (even if he's the best you can find or the man of your dreams) who has no plans to marry you @ the early stage of a relationship than to stay with a man under the assumption that he will reward you with marriage for having stuck with him through thick & thin, only for him to suddenly declare his intentions of having no immediate plans to settle down with you. That's outright insanity! (After he must have wasted your whole time!). It doesn't work that way again. Ask immediately before it's too late, don't keep quiet! The society is also making things difficult for us to live a perfect life here in this world. I can't understand why someone wants to impose a lifestlye that is unsuitable for others to live just because it works for him/her. That's wickedness if u may ask me........Yes, it is! We have all been there before so I know what it feels like. There's no need of pretending here 1 Like |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by andersyn: 8:17pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
you suck dude. No plan 4 four years? 1 Like |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Nobody: 8:20pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
please... spare us! |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by honeric01(m): 8:22pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
A woman who knows how to support her man's dreams, adds real value to his life rather than the old tale "her body" does not even need to ask the question. Any sensible man knows how to treat this kind of a woman. When you are nothing in a guy's life, a scenario like this is inevitable. 2 Likes |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Nobody: 8:26pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
dBard: If you take stat of the majority of failed marriages you will realize that they are mostly people who got married at an early age. Imagine guys at the age of 20 to 26 getting married. I pity the wife, the truth is most guys at that age are still wired to be wild, trust me on that. As for the ladies most of them would marry anything tagged a man in the name of being married. 5 - 10 years down the line majority of those couples if given a second will not even touch their partner with a ten yard pole let alone marrying them. I think our generation is fortunate to be in the age where we are most often than not allowed to make choices in terms of who and when we marry. People should leverage on this to ensure they get the best out of it, in terms of compatibility and being ready to take adequate care of the kids that come thereafter. We are neither Europeans nor US where government at least steps in to shoulder some of the financial commitment that come with having kids. In Naija you are your own government it is beckoned on you to provide good education, health care, security and every other thing than that a kid will need to function well in the society. So take your time people and planned towards it! 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Dayjhihannon01(m): 8:28pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
lightwriter: I totally agree with u that d gal in question might have an hidden agenda. Or on the other hand, it might just be pure eagerness 2 know her fate. Wether she's has a secure future with you already or not. Cos with four years in a particular relationship, she has surer spent her irrevocable years on u.yeah.. Her hidden agenda is dat she just wanted dat hook as aerly as possible... 'Complains her sister wanna see her guy.. Her sista gave her an ultimatum already.. Kent bt wonder is ur sister gonna be living with us when we finally hook and invite doz innocent kids to d world of uncertainties  Am always amused how lady thinks sha.....!!!! |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Mintayo(m): 8:29pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
The girl is very foolish and guy is very stupid. How would you date someone for 4yrs without asking questions! Dating should never be up to 4yrs. You were with someone for 4yrs and u never ask any question? Some ladie sha...smh |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by omolizzy(f): 8:29pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
san316: The gal is a witch. The guy is a coward. They are both selfish and marriage is a no go area for them. If the girl was wise, she would have raised this ish earlier, what has she been waiting for? And for the guy, the excuses he gave are childish and useless. If he loved her, all those thrash will not matter. The fact that they've been dating for that long will make their marital life(even to others) very inhabitable. 10 odeku for u. Uv said my mind n also she has her money so make she relax n flex her dough |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by johnstar(m): 8:32pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
if my tym don reach 2 marry, I swear, na 40ppl I go invite.. tnk God say I nor dey kip frnds.. wetn concern me |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by MizMyColi(f): 8:32pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
Tymax:Ehen!!!  Now our Ty is talking  ermmm that said...the young lady's attitude was otondorish (sic) sha!!! It takes wisdom to build a relationship and understanding to make it firm. There's also a possibility that she became fed up along the line and was just hanging on to the guy, seeing as she had gone that far to ensure she's among the "elite few".......Me I wouldn't want to settle with a guy that is TOOooo principled abeg |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by olmde(m): 8:34pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
I think the guy is right, why trap yourself all in the name of settling down. it's the girl that wld be the first to complain when they are married and can't afford basic stuffs for the kids. If the guy had the means, then it wld be a totally different story. |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by cutiemoi: 8:37pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
Funny convo....I pitied the gal at a point! |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Toks2008(m): 8:39pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
This is one hell of interesting conversation and trust me on this, most ladies are the architectof their troubles. You will see a man loving you and even ready to put a ring on it but you will be busy dieing for another guy who is just using you to pa sayo and you will latter cry of time wastage. Abeg. |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by ntbaby(f): 8:40pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
there is God o, only ppl without conscience will hurt someone without noticing it |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by SMALLPENIS(f): 8:42pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
McWhillion: The girl is damn right, no normal girl would feel safe in a 4 years relationship without been engaged. I feel on top the world anytime I realise that I can't be cornered into such a predicament as a guy. why must you always be FTC,you no dey sleep?! You no get house?! |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by iyisco2001(m): 8:44pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
dBard:Congrats bro, it's worth the wait. Moral of it is, don't, I repeat, never in ur life rush into a relationship talkless of engagement. |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by aadoiza: 8:44pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
Girls na dey hear wetin guys dey talk about una abi? Continue opening the only door you know how to open then and see who go chop finger in the end. 1 Like |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by franzis(m): 8:45pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
Did I just make front page... Abeg make I sleep first and wake later to be sure I ain't dreaming ... Thanks MODs |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by iyisco2001(m): 8:46pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
Eyop:Thank you o, our nowadays nasty ladies, some guys can be foolish sha, love blinds there eyes and they blame themselves later. |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by iyisco2001(m): 8:47pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
franzis: Did I just make front page... Abeg make I sleep first and wake later to be sure I ain't dreaming ... Thanks MODsNairaland pple sha, somehow for una. |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by sammoe(m): 8:47pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
*yawns* I think I know someone who'd make a good movie outta this. We'll add a couple of twists though, can't afford to have regular storyline you know. Well, people just don't learn, do they? I tell them but they won't listen, they say it's because I don't have decades of marriage experience. I bet at least one person on this thread knows someone in these shoes or worse... ...s/he is in those shoes! |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by AdeniyiA(m): 8:48pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
Choi...the lady was ready to become the lord of the ring which the guy was not ready to give  |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by san316(m): 8:51pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
I always ask myself this question: 'is marriage an end or a means to an end?' 'is it a destination or a route?' this is what many girls do not get. Marriage is a means towards getting something better ahead but girls don't think of what happens to love after marriage before they rush into it. The truth is, marriage is an empty vessel, it is what you put in it that makes it what you want it to be, ARE THE GIRLS READY TO INVEST? Secondly, guys feel their current financial condition will determine their present and future marital stability. Hello!!! Fortunes change, it's natural. Broke can turn rich and rich can turn broke, it happens. What makes you a man is that you take the leap and be ready to cope with life's changes. Stop giving excuses. If you want to marry, marry. If not, tell the gal. If she stays, good, if not, there are oloshos everywhere. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Nobody: 8:52pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
The guy is not ready The girl is desperate.... but a four year rship should be defined nau....  |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by Leerikz(m): 8:52pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
The guy has a point tho...marriage ain't all about the love.. Its about a better future for the both of them and the kids when they eventually come around.. I personally would love to make it big before settling down.. Na the same girl wey go dey nag everyday if the couple no dey live beta life |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by McWhillion(m): 8:55pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
SMALLPENIS:Bros I no understand o, na joblessness dey cause this kin thing o |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by BreezyRita(f): 8:56pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
She's right in asking! I mean, 4 yrs?? Well I honestly dunno what to say. She's not getting younger so its best you define where ur heading with her. Of course ppl still break up after engagement buh its a reassurance and its better than nothing.. Guys should pls understand dat in Nigeria, its a crime to remain unmarried at 35 yrs. A lady who is is ostracized.... as if its her fault.... Do u ever think of the ladies u date in secondary school, gain admission, through school, service and now ur working and not ready for marriage? Have u considered how many yrs av gone by? You eventually drop her, and marry someone younger.... What becomes of her? A nice guy now decides to make her his wife cos he loves her. Takes her home to see his people. And they object, saying she's too old, she's been used, beyond childbearing age yada yada! You can imagine how it plays out. Me?? I pray it doesn't happen to me o......But NO! to long-term relationships!! |
| Re: Run When A Woman Says: I Need Us To Have This Conversation by dBard: 9:01pm On Sep 03, 2014 |
AdeniyiA: Choi...the lady was ready to become the lord of the ring which the guy was not ready to give Wittiest Statement of the thread.. ayaff laff tire.. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (11) (Reply)
Kenny Brandmuse Scared Of Returning To Nigeria / When A Gold-digger Is In A Relationship With A Gold-digger / Ladies And Cleavage Revealing Photos; Stop Calling The Name Of God In Vain
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 62 |