johnstar: if my tym don reach 2 marry, I swear, na 40ppl I go invite.. tnk God say I nor dey kip frnds.. wetn concern me

Aye e maa daaa pa.... Dis was exactly what we single guys av been discussing in d ofix as a matter of yestday and today.... Why will I use roughly 700k or Amillion for wedding and won't even be able to afford a simple sport car to mobilize myself and d new bride after the wedding... My own wedding population na 30sha... Why would I started entertaining ppl bcus I want to get maself entangled...

nonsense time wasting. I read in a Jehovah Witness youth magazine that dating without the intention of getting married is like playing with a toy only to throw it away immediately. purposeless and directionless. all this "dating" ish masef. ---- AFRICAN MAN COPYING THE AMERICANS SINCE 1900.

Buh I wonder why some peeps are criticizing that guy. He said he's not earning enough to cateer for a family. If dem manage marry finish. Wetin make dem dy chop?
LAST BULLET: the main reason most married women engage in extra_marital affair is because the HUSBAND is not financialy bouyant.

This is the more reason u enter a relationship when u both are ready for marraige, though the world encourages experimenting bt truth be told it never works.

How can one continue to have se.x n do all kinds with someone for years only for it not to work out looking for someone else to dump her expired body on?

I know of a lady that has had 3 kids for different guys bt when she package herself, people still patronize her wares. Definitely one innocent guy will end up with her.

NB only enter a relationship when ready for marriage n even when u do, abstinence is still the best especially for u ladies 'cos it really tell on ur bodies.

Okay the first thing I noticed wrong in the situation is that this conversation took place 4 years into the relationship!!!! Why not after say 1 year, or a 6 months. Eventually, you must make your intentions known. As in, look I want to get married eventually, and that means within the next 4 years. Is that something that suits you? Yes or No? If yes, then we can continue to get to know each other, see if we are equally matched. If not, well the relationship hasn't developed to the point of co-dependence and they can go their separate ways. See, simple

Tha awkward moment when girls and women wrappers starts blaming the guy.

But you know what? That guy is the bomb and I love his honesty.

I am No saint but I think "Relationships" should be defined from the start. It helps to avoid awkward moments like this. What am gonna say now may sound absurd to some folks but I love being practical and logical. Before I ask any girl that I like out , I define the relationship first. I ask myself " what do I want from this ?? Do I want go on a bleeping spree and jump off the train at the next moment?? Do I want companionship to avoid boredom ?? Relationship of convenience?? Or something serious that I can commit myself with the hope of Entering the dreaded land of 'TOGETHER 4EVER ?? Don't just assume. know ACTUALLY what you want and find a way to know what she expects from the relationship too.

Keneking: 1. Mistakes human make in life , the guy is not ready and you are forcing him.
2. There is supposed to be a relationship before marriage. That is given. Whether fours years or eight years, it is immaterial.
3. The man is sincere based on this story.
4. A typical African would want to be pregnant thereby forcing the guy to embark on a sojourn he was not prepared for.
5. Francis part is really funny...imagine how the innocent ones are being framed
6. What can #120,000 do in the economy of today. Even ordinary attachment it can not buy. The salary is poor maybe pay rent, food and transport without savings etc.
7. By the way, she is not working...meaning that she has to suck the man die.

In short Jona's four years in power is not favoring relationships. Have you noticed that most men are no longer marrying again?
And he wants another four years.Haba. I feel for this lady seriously.

Jona nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I sense some political undertone in dis comment, especially d last part. Maybe another 4yrs will do d magic!

I wish I had this convo 3yrs ago. After sticking around 4 7yrs waiting 4 him to be STABLE na belle anoda girl tk carry am go. D stupid boy wasn't even man enuff to tell me I no curse am o I only cried for time wasted. I say if ur nt getting what u want in d relashp pls speak out n if it dosnt chng pls do the needful and portt.
And let me add. Never b in a hurry to marry cos it's a no going back deal

nicechic: Some guys don't have conscience

aπϑ this is coming from a lady who kept a guy that loves her friend zoned for 8 good years! Hahaha!

mencade5: especially when the thing don slack finish. Na one innocent man them go carry the thing give.


Shioorrrr!

No b lie o my brother. As for me, I no go chop anything weh another man don chop remain o.

I think I've heard this statment somewhere b4 "If a dude aint ready he just ain't ready"....the truth is we guys can never be ready..its either salary aint enuf, or our pre- marital goals aint attained yet...only five out of a thousand guys actually knelt down with a bloody ring nd propose.. most marriages either start with "yo! Dude am pregnant,so what are we gonna do cos I can't abort it"....or the family of the guy likes the chic so much the dude finds it hard to end the relationship..they finally plan the wedding for the guy nd kapish my guy is trapped for ever.. I think ladies shouldn't go about assuming once u dating a guy for some time u must automatically get married..yeah u guys a having sexx u buy each other stuff share feeling etc even teenagers do that...its very simple...a guy(not a small boy student..a mature good income earning dude capable of marriage) that can't visit ur family whether u r there or not, call ur mum or siblings once in a while just to say hi, always avoiding any move to visit ur parents especially ur "DAD"...is probably gonna need some serious dragging dats if u'll ever make it to the alter with such dude. The signs are always there..ladies just refuse to see it..its like making a meal that smells like shiit in the inseption nd u hoping it wil just turn out sweet at the end.....

That's y its called a relationship, if she's been sailing on the same ship dat leads u no where I don't see y she can't quit.d dude has ish nd men due to deir pride won't buy d idea of a woman sponsoring a wedding. So calling it quit is the best for both party.but a long relationship isn't ideal tho

Sixix:

Are you serious?

A responsible person should know his/her with whom they are into a relationship with WITHIN a month and before going to a relationship both parties must table out what they want and the aims for going into that relationship. If they fail to do so, they are solely responsible for whatever happens afterwards.

As for me, I intend to follow all the Yoruba pre-marriage stages to the letter. I don't play games

3cycle: Rubbish
If after 6months I dnt knw where the relationship is heading to, I quit.
My mom and dad never dated but got married and they stayed by each other till my dads last breath.

Beautiful. Our cultural systems (at least for Yoruba that I know) for building marriages is the best, no rushing but no wasting time.
Why waste ur life with a person for years when you know from the start you can never marry her/him??

Total rubbish! All this colo-mental behaviour in our society is just disgusting

A SHIP is meant to take you places, if your RELATIONSHIP is not taking anywhere ABANDON SHIP!

hippyzuki: I wish I had this convo 3yrs ago. After sticking around 4 7yrs waiting 4 him to be STABLE na belle anoda girl tk carry am go. D stupid boy wasn't even man enuff to tell me I no curse am o I only cried for time wasted. I say if ur nt getting what u want in d relashp pls speak out n if it dosnt chng pls do the needful and portt.
And let me add. Never b in a hurry to marry cos it's a no going back deal

Whupppz, 7donkey years... O Gurl u tried oo.. Bt how managed nah... He still dey do external straffing join dat kinda committed relatnshp.. Oga oo!!!

pansophist:

Why shifting the blame to the guy alone? girls can be idiotic in relationships, they love like foo.l and rarely attach common sense to issues very important. Why ask him after four years of relationship if he would marry her? she made it seems like marriage is a reward that must be awarded to her after dating him, as if the boy did not also ''waste'' four years of his life with her too.

I will also run away from a girl that can pay her engagement ring and take care of the marriage expenses, that is desperation in a very high voltage and I dont wanna fall a victim to her unknown mission.

She is even getting married not because she know what marriage is, but for society and her biological clock reading, she no try at all in her own part.

The Guy is just brutally sincere, daz all!

Of course the girl was foolish.shey when her mama told her to close her legs when she was still a kid she refused to take that advice into adulthood.
If she never made the guy comfortable, he would have taken her seriously.

if we were in the good old days guys like that should be taken to the stake and stoned to death, while the mumu girl gets banished...best thing for her as no sane man who knew her all along would take her

Dayjhihannon01: Whupppz, 7donkey years... O Gurl u tried oo.. Bt how managed nah... He still dey do external straffing join dat kinda committed relatnshp.. Oga oo!!!

. My broda na so d life just be. Now if I no gree patient wiv anybody u go blame me?

Donfamous: children popping out like pop corn from every hole in ur body hahahahahahahahha

macof: That's rubbish. Why be in a relationship u don't plan on moving to the next level?
Why act like you love and care for that person when you only in it for fun.

guys like this disgust me, if such an idiot tried this with my family or friend I would destroy his life.

I jst dey vex as I dey read the thing

Nonsense , the dude spoke the truth from the deepest core of his mind , he said he couldn't bear marriage nor engagement based on his meagre salary ... Some dude like me could say this outa sense of responsibility ..... So instead of me letting you down , kindly know what it is now !

By the way Macof, my meagre salary may not be enough to marry your sister nor engaged with her, but it will be more than enough to buy weeds and dryGin for bomboys to kpanshing your life for me !

Too long an epistle

hippyzuki: . My broda na so d life just be. Now if I no gree patient wiv anybody u go blame me?

No1 abeg... Nothing do you I follow u for back, but u don advice say rushing no good also.. So u go balance d tin.... Xperince is d best teacher

Those two are actually in love ( trust me) or should I say, seem good together. The guy is only scared of failing himself and her too. He's not really scared of commitment. He's just like any other average Naija guy who wants to hammer before his mind will be at rest. The girl did not complain of the guy being a cheat or irresponsible,so he seems a good and lovely guy. The girl is also only scared of her biological clock ticking off. She seemed to have stayed put with her guy with one heart and only needs to either have blind faith in the guy or follow her guts....such a hard choice to make tho.

This is a typical average Naija boyfriend/girlfriend scenario. They both need to agree to disagree...or the other way round. Would be nice if they make it

I've been thinking...Is marriage the ultimate goal for some women? Why not think about getting paid by working and maybe try to be successful so BF won't make up silly excuses about earning low when you can support him to build a successful home.You are in a relationship for four years talking care of a guy when you are supposed to be moulding a life for yourself.If you really want to know where you stand,why do it after four years? Plus pressuring a man to marry you would get him even more scared and reluctant to pop up.My advice is to give your best(not sex) to the relationship as well as yourself and if your man don't see you as a marriage material,let him go, its HIS loss not yours,don't continue to takecare of a man for four years,You are not his mother.

mencade5: bllod of Jesus!

That means she had been keeping a separate guy one side as a substitute when you disapoint her.


Chaiii chaiiii.....evil women everywhere.

that one no be news...... many girls are doing it. Have two or more serious guys so that is one messes up, she switches.

Samyj247:

No b lie o my brother. As for me, I no go chop anything weh another man don chop remain o.

my brother, it is a scary situation. That is why man must sample kpekus before marriage ooo.

No sane woman will wait for 4years before asking the right questns she ought to ask before starting d relationship....
4 years con knack....u con dey ask. after d guy don chop finish belleful, u dey tell am say the burnt part remain for pot...wetin he wan use am do?

Dayjhihannon01: No1 abeg... Nothing do you I follow u for back, but u don advice say rushing no good also.. So u go balance d tin.... Xperince is d best teacher

. If I see boy now sef me de run. Too scared plus de all want d a** n nothn more. No more real men dis dayz..

realborn: Shamefully, societal pressure has led us to believe that the event called wedding is a mandatory dependency for survival. Unfortunately it should not be so.

If the conversation is culled from a true life experience, I deeply pity the lady and completely respect the guy. It is very tough for any husband to build a suitable home with a contemporary and modern day wife with a remuneration of N120,000 per month.

I remember years ago when I was basking in the euphoria of getting married because I had few millions stashed somewhere, how a senior colleague called me and said "wedding is a day's event but marriage lasts a life time". It made little sense at the time because I was getting married to my Dearly beloved whom I had known for 11 years and dated actively for 9 years.

Today we have gone through several storms of marital life and have only been able to remain strong because I yearned for it without being coerced and she has remained content thus far. If she had exhibited any overriding and desperate attribute of the female respondent in the subject conversation, we definitely would have hit the rocks.

I have seen many blissful weddings lead to eternal traumas for the parties involved. I have seen many men develop kleptomaniac vices because of the insatiable desires of their wives fashioned after the similitude of "I want what my friends have".

If indeed the female respondent truly desires to settle and marry her male respondent, she needs to reassure him of her readiness to leave her high horse, receive an inexpensive engagement ring that he can afford without pomp and pageantry; get married at the registry at a mid week service, host few family and friends at an eatery to cut costs on an expensive reception; and settle with him wherever he can afford even if it is the most remote of places. Thereafter, they should join efforts to save and plan for the advent of kids.[i][/i]

If unwilling to accept the aforementioned conditions, she should pray fervently for her man to immediately land a suitable job with a pay that will meet her lifestyle demands. Until then I advise she stays in the relationship and continue to enjoy the comfort of her man.

Finally, marriage is not compulsory. It leads to trauma if rushed into!

What rubbish is this you call 4yrs relationship rushing My ancestors didn't spend a month in relationships
If a man knows he don't want marriage, he should not get a woman in a relationship with him
Stay and hustle till you ready, not bring the girl to your door when you not planning on opening it to let her it

Reading this made my night. I think the guy should try to understand her. She's just scared of the future.

Four years of uncertainty is not good for her.