I must say, first off.... The lady is the one being unfair... cos reading between the lines, the guy wants things to be good and not be a man who would not b able to provide for his family after getting married.... Secondly why d rush on the lady's end? You've waited 4 years... don't mean u should give the man an ultimatum..

The guy on the other end should have known better than to act indifferent. Like what she felt didn't matter... on that note I'd say he took a selfish step thinking of his fears alone, she's got her fears too...... He should have put her mind at ease first then allay his own fears and putting their heads together proffer a solution...

Heck boy never limit urself to what u are now... u can be better... but it's never immediate... its a process... so in general I'd say the guy is scared... and the lady feels insecure and she needs something defined and solid... A ring doesn't have to be a million dollars before u buy it.... u only know how much u love her when she leaves... and when she does... she leaves with a scar and she keeps cursing in her heart... remember the words " hell has no fury as a woman scorned".. He should have pampered her, tell her the sweetest things then make her see reason... she's just scared... but in returned he acted nonchalant ... how sad...

ify84: the guy is funny and professional in his post but I pity d girl.....ladies, if after 6months he is not talking about marriage or when he desire to marry u. ....open doors for others.... while u keep him on d background...

No! it's totally wrong to date two at once
Just be smart with your decisions as you stick with that one person

mencade5: my brother, it is a scary situation. That is why man must sample kpekus before marriage ooo.

oyaahh sample ekwe, sampllee ekwe. But as u de sample kpekus, another guy de sample ur future wife on o.

sebali:

d white wedding fee is not d problem because it is usually notin in comparison to d married lif xpenses......
children et al

its true sha.

Samyj247:

oyaahh sample ekwe, sampllee ekwe. But as u de sample kpekus, another guy de sample ur future wife on o.

hahaha...u no be God ooo. E fit no happen :p

The guy loves her but he isn't ready for marriage. The girls just being a woman she is; She just talks, she doesn't think. She's being selfish and that's not good for marriage.

mencade5: hahaha...u no be God ooo. E fit no happen :p

Haha, see u, u don fear. If not no happen na, maybe na u go even con marry virgin sef

[quote author=franzis]I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere

Girl: So…
Guy: So…
Girl: I need for us to have this conversation
Guy: What conversation?
Girl: We’ve been together for four years
Guy: Yea?
Girl: And I need to know where this is heading to
Guy: Oh boy!
Girl: Listen baby, it is only fair to define this. Four years of my life is a lot to ask for
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere
Guy: Babe, it’s a relationship… not a death sentence.
Girl: You don’t get it, do you?
Guy: Make me get it
Girl: It is time to define US. Where are we heading to?
Guy: We…we are in a relationship. It’s a destination. Isn’t that enough?
Girl: So where is the next bus-stop?
Guy: Every day we stop and pick up new ways of loving each other…that’s how it works.
Girl: So when do we get to the bus-stop where you propose to me? Or aren’t we going to get engaged?
Guy: …
Girl: Baby, say something!
Guy: I earn N120k… I am not ready for marriage.
Girl: I didn’t say marriage, I said engagement.
Guy: What’s the difference? One is supposed to lead to the other, right?
Girl: Baby, I have to wear an engagement ring just for the satisfaction of knowing that this is leading somewhere
Guy: For how long? Another four years? So you can finally brand me a monster for tying you down for eight years?
Girl: Do you plan to tie me down for that long?
Guy: I don’t know, babe. I just know that I’ve seen too many f%&ked up situations and I am in no hurry to get engaged or married or any of that.
Girl: So are we f%&ked up?
Guy: No…but…look at Francis and his wife…they quarrel like drunk cats! Guy earns barely above what I earn and he already has two kids. The minute you get married the kids start popping out like popcorn. It’s shitty. It doesn’t interest me at all.
Girl: Wait, let me understand what you are saying… Are you saying marriage is shitty, and you have no interest in having kids?
Guy: No, not right now. I’m not interested. I can’t afford that lifestyle on my salary.
Girl: Then dream bigger, aim higher…’cos I’m tired of waiting!
Guy: Then don’t wait. You don’t have shackles on your feet.
Girl: WHAT?!
Guy: Babe, see…I love you, but I’m not going to promise what I can’t afford to give. If you can understand that then we can continue loving each other, if not then it’s fine. I understand.
Girl: I can’t believe you!
Guy: Wh…what do you want me to do?
Girl: The right thing!
Guy: But this is the right thing. I’m not going to lie to you nah!
Girl: So four years just go by like that and I’m supposed to just walk away?
Guy: Don’t walk. Stay with me.
Girl: Until when?
Guy: Until…what do you mean, “until when?” Isn’t this a relationship?
Girl: That is heading nowhere!
Guy: Ok…ok! So it seems we have very different views about this, ‘cos if you ask me I’ll tell you that this is fulfilling in itself, and it is enough for me- just having you in my life and sharing it together.
Girl: I will never forgive you if you don’t do the right thing. And God will judge you.
Guy: Oh boy! What are you on about?
Girl: If you think you can just use me and dump me…
Guy: Use you?! How? We are dating! How is that “using” in anyway?
Girl: And I’m supposed to just stay in a relationship that has no plans to evolve?
Guy: I thought we were evolving just fine. Loving, sharing, learning…
Girl: This is bullshit! And karma will get you for this!
Guy: Babe, I didn’t f%&k you without your permission. Everything we did, we did because we wanted to. And if we break up now, it will be because we stopped wanting the same things. Our needs changed. Mine is still straight, but you want other things I can’t give; so how does that make me a bad guy?
Girl: Is this a plan to marry someone else? Piss me off and then go get a new chick, abi?
Guy: You are not listening…you never listen. I am presenting to you a simple case: I do not have the money to buy you an engagement ring…I don’t have money to pay LindaIkeji to cover our “surprise engagement” that we’d have at The Galleria, with your palm over your mouth feigning surprise and acting like you didn’t tie my balls to do it. I do not have money to entertain your friends and family…and I, sure as hell, do not have the money to plan a wedding, or move you into my small apartment. And I will not have kids popping out from every hole in your body just so I can tick all of society’s boxes. I don’t have the money…and guess what, I don’t have any interest in doing all of that.
Girl: So why did you date me?
Guy: Gosh! Are you serious?!
Girl: Answer me, damn it!
Guy: I dated you because we liked each other! Heck, you showed as much interest as I did… you attacked me like a tigress on our first night. I didn’t force you to cook, clean…you did it willingly just as much as I did all I did freely. Why are you now making it seem like we had an agreement four years ago that I am reluctant to fulfil?
Girl: I am a woman, and you let my biological clock tick away like that!
Guy: Aaaaargh! What do you want from me?
Girl: Ok…what if I settle everything? I work too and I can buy the engagement ring for myself and pay for a photographer to capture the moment. It will be on a yacht not at The Galleria…I’ll pay BellaNaija to put it up. All you need to do is slip it into my finger. For the wedding, I’ve been saving for four years. I have enough to cover my dress, the cake, the hall, the food, MC and photographer… you can take care of your suit and the Deejay.
Guy: Wow! What can I say? Are you sure you are not on some cheap meds?
Girl: Excuse me?!
Guy: Babe, you know what? I think it is best we break up. I can’t deal with this right now.
Girl: Really?!
Guy: Yes, really.
Girl: You evil man! I stayed with you, nursed you when you were ill…bought you the best gifts four years in a roll for your birthday…sucked you, kissed you, loved you like you were the last man on earth…
Guy: I sucked you too; ate you well like you were the sweetest cake in the store; bought you nice gifts; travelled with you; heard you cry, laugh… helped you get better at your job…supported you when you feared you had breast cancer. I did what a boyfriend should do. So what’s your point?
Girl: Shut up! You devil!
Guy: *sighs* Babe, I can’t give you what you want. I’m just not ready for it. I’m sorry.
Girl: I gave you the best years of my life.
Guy: And I gave you the best of what I could afford. Cut the pity party, abeg. You are the one asking for more, you are the one who’s unfair. So why blame me? You are the one ending the relationship; I’m just trying to be sincere.
Girl: God will shame you! I will get married before the end of this year.


The girl is clever and well groomed from home but the boy is honest and powerful. Love can make you blind, deaf, dumb, silly, violent and cowardly. It can also make you the opposite of any of those things. That is why it is what it is....LOVE. Those who are adroit become very powerful. 'The greatest is love'.

folly65:
With the above scenario?
I don't mind being labeled an evil woman

Haba na.. Four years no be beans
Tho i wouldn't date a guy for four good years

if na you i no go label u evil woman. But i have been seeing u in my dreams. Are u the special one?

Is there anything wrong in a female proposing to her male partner ??

@OP:

The girl is very desperate and is not putting on her thinking cap. She made it seem that she wanted marriage and not the b/f. She also is very vain (Imagine 'we will get engaged on a yatch etc.') and want to be a Mrs. by force(I have saved for the wedding ceremony; I will buy the ring etc.) She also didnot understand what her b/f was saying, was not logical and engaging him on an emotional level. She also waited for 4yrs before talking marriage. She didnot even know the guy's vision: I want to start earning N300K before we marry; I want us to marry in 3yrs time etc.

The guy is very insensitive and does not love the girl to me. Infact, he didnot sound like he was interested in marrying her in the first place. Must bella naija and Linda Ikeji cover their engagement? How small is his apartment that they cannot begin from there? Must their wedding be the talk of the town? Is it his proposed kids that he is refering to as 'popcorn'? Don't people have a family on smaller income? Afterall, the girl claims to have savings; why can't he tell her to start a business? How long did he plan to string the girl? He is also very unyielding: the babe was trying to meet him halfway (even though she was desperate & senseless about it) but the guy was taking my way/the highway stance.

They should break up and go their seperate ways

Samyj247:

Haha, see u, u don fear. If not no happen na, maybe na u go even con marry virgin sef

that is my prayer for you. Ur wife shall be a virgin

Ifewilshere: Buh I wonder why some peeps are criticizing that guy. He said he's not earning enough to cateer for a family. If dem manage marry finish. Wetin make dem dy chop?
LAST BULLET: the main reason most married women engage in extra_marital affair is because the HUSBAND is not financialy bouyant.

Why go into a relationship when you don't have money for it??
You can use the girl all you want but not marry her and dump her? that's wickedness

If he got no money than he shouldn't be thinking of women but work and more work. a good marriage-type woman would appreciate the effort and support anyway she can, afterall na two of them dey the same boat

harffie:
aπϑ this is coming from a lady who kept a guy that loves her friend zoned for 8 good years! Hahaha!

That's another thing ladies do to loose the right guy.

many foolish girls won't open their eyes and get their priorities straight. they looking for the perfect guy that has everything...and only a complete pretender appears perfect

walexzee11: Lolzzzzzzz... ....The guy's reply is damn funny ironically also wisdom oriented..... ..Ladies finds it difficult to understand this kind of guy cos they hate being told the truth....It seems me and the guy are on thesame page!!!

i dy tell u

mencade5: that is my prayer for you. Ur wife shall be a virgin

A big amen o, nd same to u o. I no se no guy go like any kpekus we b like big hole

Austyn44: LAST BULLET
Girl: so what are we now?
Guy: we are nothing but pencils in the hand of the creator.

Lord have mercy on our sisters. Amen!

we are sperm count in the eyes of our parents

Austyn44: LAST BULLET
Girl: so what are we now?
Guy: we are nothing but pencils in the hand of the creator.

Lord have mercy on our sisters. Amen!

we are sperm count in the eyes of our parents

hippyzuki: . If I see boy now sef me de run. Too scared plus de all want d a** n nothn more. No more real men dis dayz..

Don't make dat mistake jare... Not proving innocent bt not all of us want the a** only.. Som1 like u who could keep a 7yrs relatnshp.. A better man is out dia bliv me... So don't run abeg... Jst when u don't xpect he will strolled in...

macof:

Why go into a relationship when you don't have money for it??
You can use the girl all you want but not marry her and dump her? that's wickedness

If he got no money than he shouldn't be thinking of women but work and more work. a good marriage-type woman would appreciate the effort and support anyway she can, afterall na two of them dey the same boat

Accepted, but now that they are into it already, what should he do? Marry her to please her and then suffer the consequences? I don't buy that idea.
Thank God u said 'a marriage type woman'. I think the best thing for them is for the lady to get a job too, so they can manage and create something outta there nothing. Otherwise, i dnt see dat guy's 120k doing anything in dere lyf o. My Opinion though.

Ifewilshere: Accepted, but now that they are into it already, what should he do? Marry her to please her and then suffer the consequences? I don't buy that idea.

Bro... what this woman wants is certainty... hence the question... "where is this leading to"... If the boy were serious... she ain't asking for him to pick a date... she's asking the same question every woman asks a man or her man when things ain't clear.... what she's asking in a nutshell is "What do u want?" You know how that question be to we guys! But the guy on the other end as a naija guy no wan hook himself... incase e no fit deliver... 4 years in a relationship ain't no joke for the woman...

Let's face it... usually only one out of 15 guys turn out to love them genuinely. .. The rest just want to sample their goods....
But it's different for the guy... 3 out of 7 girls will fall in love with u if u treat them nice and give them all d attention they need. So on the real... I don't blame her...

fools of the highest order (them both)

MarieSucre: nonsense time wasting. I read in a Jehovah Witness youth magazine that dating without the intention of getting married is like playing with a toy only to throw it away immediately. purposeless and directionless. all this "dating" ish masef. ---- AFRICAN MAN COPYING THE AMERICANS SINCE 1900.

That's it. colo-mentality
It affects us all in our society. Dating dating , relationship this that but before they marry they would taste nothing less than 3 different partners
I still ask tho, why go into a relationship when you not ready cus this is supposed to be a stage before life time vows and matrimonial rituals aka wedding.

Some are even talking of money as if a wedding can't hold with just both parents and maybe 2 friends, must there be money lavishing??

krispycash: Bro... what this woman wants is certainty... hence the question... "where is this leading to"... If the boy were serious... she ain't asking for him to pick a date... she's asking the same question every woman asks a man or her man when things ain't clear.... what she's asking in a nutshell is "What do u want?" You know how that question be to we guys! But the guy on the other end as a naija guy no wan hook himself... incase e no fit deliver... 4 years in a relationship ain't no joke for the woman...

Let's face it... usually only one out of 15 guys turn out to love them genuinely. .. The rest just want to sample their goods....
But it's different for the guy... 3 out of 7 girls will fall in love with u if u treat them nice and give them all d attention they need. So on the real... I don't blame her...

Neither do I. I just think she should see beyond the present. She wants to be happy, secured et.al. Am not so sure she cares about what happens aftermath. That is what the guy is saying. U would agree with me than an average sane guy wouldn't want to build family that is not financialy secured. We hate it when we have to beg to keep up or settle for less.

walexzee11: Lolzzzzzzz... ....The guy's reply is damn funny ironically also wisdom oriented..... ..Ladies finds it difficult to understand this kind of guy cos they hate being told the truth....It seems me and the guy are on thesame page!!!

0n the same page to keep a lady on r/ship for 4 years. Guy learn abeg

walexzee11: Lolzzzzzzz... ....The guy's reply is damn funny ironically also wisdom oriented..... ..Ladies finds it difficult to understand this kind of guy cos they hate being told the truth....It seems me and the guy are on thesame page!!!

0n the same page to keep a lady on r/ship for 4 years or do u think 4 years is 4 days. Guy learn abeg

krispycash: ... she ain't asking for him to pick a date... she's asking the same question every woman asks a man or her man when things ain't clear.... what she's asking in a nutshell is "What do u want?" You know how that question be to we guys! But the guy on the other end as a naija guy no wan hook himself... incase e no fit deliver... 4 years in a relationship ain't no joke for the woman...

Let's face it... usually only one out of 15 guys turn out to love them genuinely. .. The rest just want to sample their goods....
But it's different for the guy... 3 out of 7 girls will fall in love with u if u treat them nice and give them all d attention they need. So on the real... I don't blame her...

Neither do I. I just think she should see beyond the present. She wants to be happy, secured etcetera. Am not so sure she cares about what happens aftermath. That is what the guy is saying. U would agree with me than an average sane guy wouldn't want to build family that is not financialy secured. We hate it when we have to beg to keep up or settle for less.

Hei this is becoming a major problem, young girls re unable to get husband, and this problem is eating deep into the society, chai what is this problem with black woman, unable to luv and carress his man to feel confident that she will make a gud wife, see this has become a major wahala for women...

donroxy: Nonsense , the dude spoke the truth from the deepest core of his mind , he said he couldn't bear marriage nor engagement based on his meagre salary ... Some dude like me could say this outa sense of responsibility ..... So instead of me letting you down , kindly know what it is now !

By the way Macof, my meagre salary may not be enough to marry your sister nor engaged with her, but it will be more than enough to buy weeds and dryGin for bomboys to kpanshing your life for me !

Than he is an idiotic bastrd. Why go into a relationship at all when you not ready for marriage? marriage is the whole point of a relationship.while idiots like you and some loose girls are in it for fun, mature sensible individuals are in it to build a foundation for marriage life.
It's nt even supposed to take a year before you start talking of wedding...
Now to wedding; who ever said weddings must be extravagant? Man should cut his coat to his Size and plan wedding to his pocket.
When you are fully married you both work together as one family.

Can your stupid weed stop the curse I would place on you with Esu??

franzis: I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere

Girl: So…
Guy: So…
Girl: I need for us to have this conversation
Guy: What conversation?
Girl: We’ve been together for four years
Guy: Yea?
Girl: And I need to know where this is heading to
Guy: Oh boy!
Girl: Listen baby, it is only fair to define this. Four years of my life is a lot to ask for
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere
Guy: Babe, it’s a relationship… not a death sentence.
Girl: You don’t get it, do you?
Guy: Make me get it
Girl: It is time to define US. Where are we heading to?
Guy: We…we are in a relationship. It’s a destination. Isn’t that enough?
Girl: So where is the next bus-stop?
Guy: Every day we stop and pick up new ways of loving each other…that’s how it works.
Girl: So when do we get to the bus-stop where you propose to me? Or aren’t we going to get engaged?
Guy: …
Girl: Baby, say something!
Guy: I earn N120k… I am not ready for marriage.
Girl: I didn’t say marriage, I said engagement.
Guy: What’s the difference? One is supposed to lead to the other, right?
Girl: Baby, I have to wear an engagement ring just for the satisfaction of knowing that this is leading somewhere
Guy: For how long? Another four years? So you can finally brand me a monster for tying you down for eight years?
Girl: Do you plan to tie me down for that long?
Guy: I don’t know, babe. I just know that I’ve seen too many f%&ked up situations and I am in no hurry to get engaged or married or any of that.
Girl: So are we f%&ked up?
Guy: No…but…look at Francis and his wife…they quarrel like drunk cats! Guy earns barely above what I earn and he already has two kids. The minute you get married the kids start popping out like popcorn. It’s shitty. It doesn’t interest me at all.
Girl: Wait, let me understand what you are saying… Are you saying marriage is shitty, and you have no interest in having kids?
Guy: No, not right now. I’m not interested. I can’t afford that lifestyle on my salary.
Girl: Then dream bigger, aim higher…’cos I’m tired of waiting!
Guy: Then don’t wait. You don’t have shackles on your feet.
Girl: WHAT?!
Guy: Babe, see…I love you, but I’m not going to promise what I can’t afford to give. If you can understand that then we can continue loving each other, if not then it’s fine. I understand.
Girl: I can’t believe you!
Guy: Wh…what do you want me to do?
Girl: The right thing!
Guy: But this is the right thing. I’m not going to lie to you nah!
Girl: So four years just go by like that and I’m supposed to just walk away?
Guy: Don’t walk. Stay with me.
Girl: Until when?
Guy: Until…what do you mean, “until when?” Isn’t this a relationship?
Girl: That is heading nowhere!
Guy: Ok…ok! So it seems we have very different views about this, ‘cos if you ask me I’ll tell you that this is fulfilling in itself, and it is enough for me- just having you in my life and sharing it together.
Girl: I will never forgive you if you don’t do the right thing. And God will judge you.
Guy: Oh boy! What are you on about?
Girl: If you think you can just use me and dump me…
Guy: Use you?! How? We are dating! How is that “using” in anyway?
Girl: And I’m supposed to just stay in a relationship that has no plans to evolve?
Guy: I thought we were evolving just fine. Loving, sharing, learning…
Girl: This is bullshit! And karma will get you for this!
Guy: Babe, I didn’t f%&k you without your permission. Everything we did, we did because we wanted to. And if we break up now, it will be because we stopped wanting the same things. Our needs changed. Mine is still straight, but you want other things I can’t give; so how does that make me a bad guy?
Girl: Is this a plan to marry someone else? Piss me off and then go get a new chick, abi?
Guy: You are not listening…you never listen. I am presenting to you a simple case: I do not have the money to buy you an engagement ring…I don’t have money to pay LindaIkeji to cover our “surprise engagement” that we’d have at The Galleria, with your palm over your mouth feigning surprise and acting like you didn’t tie my balls to do it. I do not have money to entertain your friends and family…and I, sure as hell, do not have the money to plan a wedding, or move you into my small apartment. And I will not have kids popping out from every hole in your body just so I can tick all of society’s boxes. I don’t have the money…and guess what, I don’t have any interest in doing all of that.
Girl: So why did you date me?
Guy: Gosh! Are you serious?!
Girl: Answer me, damn it!
Guy: I dated you because we liked each other! Heck, you showed as much interest as I did… you attacked me like a tigress on our first night. I didn’t force you to cook, clean…you did it willingly just as much as I did all I did freely. Why are you now making it seem like we had an agreement four years ago that I am reluctant to fulfil?
Girl: I am a woman, and you let my biological clock tick away like that!
Guy: Aaaaargh! What do you want from me?
Girl: Ok…what if I settle everything? I work too and I can buy the engagement ring for myself and pay for a photographer to capture the moment. It will be on a yacht not at The Galleria…I’ll pay BellaNaija to put it up. All you need to do is slip it into my finger. For the wedding, I’ve been saving for four years. I have enough to cover my dress, the cake, the hall, the food, MC and photographer… you can take care of your suit and the Deejay.
Guy: Wow! What can I say? Are you sure you are not on some cheap meds?
Girl: Excuse me?!
Guy: Babe, you know what? I think it is best we break up. I can’t deal with this right now.
Girl: Really?!
Guy: Yes, really.
Girl: You evil man! I stayed with you, nursed you when you were ill…bought you the best gifts four years in a roll for your birthday…sucked you, kissed you, loved you like you were the last man on earth…
Guy: I sucked you too; ate you well like you were the sweetest cake in the store; bought you nice gifts; travelled with you; heard you cry, laugh… helped you get better at your job…supported you when you feared you had breast cancer. I did what a boyfriend should do. So what’s your point?
Girl: Shut up! You devil!
Guy: *sighs* Babe, I can’t give you what you want. I’m just not ready for it. I’m sorry.
Girl: I gave you the best years of my life.
Guy: And I gave you the best of what I could afford. Cut the pity party, abeg. You are the one asking for more, you are the one who’s unfair. So why blame me? You are the one ending the relationship; I’m just trying to be sincere.
Girl: God will shame you! I will get married before the end of this year.
Guy: Oho! So you’ve been cheating on me?
Girl: I never cheated, but God sees my heart and He will give me my heart desire and shame my enemies.
Guy: So you’ll be getting married to a stranger then?
Girl: Love happens in mysterious ways!
Guy: Good. Send me an invite.
***
PS: Ah Love! What a burriful thang!

How The F%&k did this get to FP The post made me lose my appetite sha !!!!!!!

Young lady just shut up....are you a doctor? You just keep believing nonsense, no wonder you want to marry at all cost and in the process become pregnant just to hook a guy. Change your mentality... Read books

rahymat: If a guy doesnt propose to u in four years tym u beta leave him because its adifficult to bear a child if ure more than 30years old.

Safari29: If I have this kinda girl I ll wife her up asap

Why?

macof:

Than he is an idiotic bastrd. Why go into a relationship at all when you not ready for marriage? marriage is the whole point of a relationship.while idiots like you and some loose girls are in it for fun, mature sensible individuals are in it to build a foundation for marriage life.
It's nt even supposed to take a year before you start talking of wedding...
Now to wedding; who ever said weddings must be extravagant? Man should cut his coat to his Size and plan wedding to his pocket.
When you are fully married you both work together as one family.

Can your stupid weed stop the curse I would place on you with Esu??

Wha about if i also invoke Saponna on you to serve as backup for the weed dudes in case you also wanna go the traditional way . Psalm and Alamtarakayfa also do wonder in bombing enemy to pieces without physical contact. The dude in question aint you and your sillyhead woulda lied to the girl only to turn to monster and wife beater in the real game of marriage.