MzNelly:

Some people may term this 'cheap', but i have no reason to play 'hard to get.'
The answer to your question is YES. When he asked me out, i replied in the affirmative that same minute.

I love your honesty, if ladies can be more open and be sincere.. life would have been easy for men.
I think this playing hard to get thing causes more damage than good looking at it from the guy perspective. Though some guys might disagree with me.
I see no reason why a lady simply can't say Yes or No without society terming that cheap..
Like seriously, my current gf told me Yes the first time i asked r and i can say statistically ** roll eyes** that i haven't love someone so fierce d way i love her.
I thinking this playing hard to get thing is highly over rated and considering this generation, it does more harm than good to the guy..
Funny enough, it's we guys that call the quick to say YES cheap.
Guess we are being paid back in our coins...

Relationship is truly a murky business..... ** smiles **

UjSizzle:


Nne are you sure you don't want to marry me?


*persistent female here*

Thats full blown homo right there.

Olonshos don't friend zone.

Always make your intentions know after 10 mins. You gree or you know gree?

Time is precious to be wasting it thinking about who friend zoned who.

phabulous88:


Ujsizzle you're playing with 14 years!

Sophyrocks:

Thats full blown homo right there.

Let this one worry about that

Sophyrocks:


If she repeatedly tells you No. simple. There is a difference between saying No and saying lets know each other as friends to see if dating is possible. Some ladies prefer that to just jumping straight away into dating perhaps they wanna be sure of whom is asking them out or due to bad experiences where they didnt take time to know their partners well. So just take it that you are just friends trying to know each other. There is nothing wrong with being persistent but its important to read body language and facial expressions. If your persistence seems to irritate a lady, move along and find someone else. If she starts acting Nice after uve gotten someone else, take her to be confused and keep moving.

If a lady begins to abuse the friendship to her advantage but keeps flashing the "friendship" card to your face, stay away from her and move on. Know when to stay and when to leave.

A nice solution ma'am

micynute94:
…

Can't tell you how happy i am by your words. A guy who was told No by a female wouldn't want to walk away so fast considering the facts that he might think you are playing hard to get or if given time he could make you see him in a new light. The problem with this friendzone thing is more about the girl knowing fully well she has no need for the guy as her bf, and still tries to use his feelings to make him vulnerable thereby manipulating him to serve her needs whereas the guy keep doing this because he thought he could win her heart with this good gestures.
And d fact still remain that a No is not always a No when it comes to the ladies. Will u ladies tell me that ur past or current bf was given the "YES " answer first day he told you about his feelings for you . So how do you expect him to know your No is a No and not playing hard to get or simply testing him?
cc. ujsizzle, sophyrocks, MzNelly


God bless you broda.

God bless you too, bro.

UjSizzle does have a point. Romance is pretty messy. My reason for saying that may be a littlw different though. I used to always play it by ear. I believed that life was better off uncomplicated so I was always honest about everything. Nairaland started to advise me that that was a very silly way to live sha and that it doesn't pay. That's why things went so hard for me when I fell in love the last time.

I think people should just quit looking for strategies and advantages and simply go after people they want to share their lives with. If I really thought a girl was IT for me in the past, ha, I never let up o. The only time I'd ask a girl out and accept rejection back then was when I was messing around or just trying out some new thing. When I was being serious I went at it like I had nothing else to do and I always got my girl. My only regret is that it happened more than once. I hadn't meant to go into more than one serious relationship.

Like I said, these girls were always friends or acquaintances so it makes sense that it worked. We already had a connection and were already comfortable with each other. And sex was not on the cards.

I think people should stop jumping one another's bones. You want to be with someone, get to know them first and decide just where and how you fit. It's the whole "sexualizing" thing that makes relationships so hard now. Meet the person first before you start noticing the bum, legs, böobs, hair, muscles, shoulders, height and whatnot. When you've connected in the depths, sex is easy and incredible. That's why it was always reserved for marriage.

You can tell from relating with someone over time if you two want to take that step. It happens organically. And it is always amazing. Time though does not have to be months and months and years and years. It depends on the depth of interaction. You can have deep dealings with someone in one month that makes them as close to you as years of evolving friendship would have made you. The point is that once you connect in a certain way, romantic love just follows suit. That's how I always experienced it.

And the last time was no different. It just happened that Nairaland taught me to fear. And, well, it could do that because I had a major self-doubt at the time.

Basically, just relax. Have fun. Free up yourself. Be a gentleman. Smile easily. Don't bottle up your feelings and become a jerk. Let the flighty ones go. Don't attach yourself until someone insists on catching your eye. And when they do and you know they are good medicine, by all means jump in with both feet. Reserve nothing. That's what I would advise young men like me. It always worked before.

From all I have read so far I think is now clear and that nice guy issue should be revisited and painted more clearly so the connotative meaning can be dropped. What works for girl A mostly doesn't work on girl B, so am calling for the rebranding of the term : "girls don't like nice guys" since all girls are not hard wired the same way.

micynute94:


I love your honesty, if ladies can be more open and be sincere.. life would have been easy for men.
I think this playing hard to get thing causes more damage than good looking at it from the guy perspective. Though some guys might disagree with me.
I see no reason why a lady simply can't say Yes or No without society terming that cheap..
Like seriously, my current gf told me Yes the first time i asked r and i can say statistically ** roll eyes** that i haven't love someone so fierce d way i love her.
I thinking this playing hard to get thing is highly over rated and considering this generation, it does more harm than good to the guy..
Funny enough, it's we guys that call the quick to say YES cheap.
Guess we are being paid back in our coins...

Relationship is truly a murky business..... ** smiles **

Counteractions dear. You find most of these are simply reactions to an earlier action.

If men enjoy the chase, then a woman who takes that away becomes an easy meat.

I feel a lot of men want the chase so much they lose sight of what the prize really is. Ic you want her, then whether she says yes now or in three days shouldn't change the way you feel.
But nah, people have had to make strange interpretation of things that everyone has their hackles raised.


I wonder if it's possible to fix this.

UjSizzle:

Let me see.....
You just defined nice as bible thumping and a bunch of other things.
Some people call it being respectful and attentive.
......and a bunch of other things.



BuddhaPalm!!! Mind explaining 'nice'?

Oh c'mon! How can you be Bible-thumping and disrespectful? Or sin-fearing and inattentive? What kind of confused person is that?

ihedinobi2:

Oh c'mon! How can you be Bible-thumping and disrespectful? Or sin-fearing and inattentive? What kind of confused person is that?

Since when did sin-fearing make one attentive biko?

I think you're the one confused now.

micynute94:


A nice solution ma'am

Thanks.

UjSizzle:

How long did you pray before he manned up enough to ask you out?

Don't insult my hibernated vestigial impudence! You're one of those ladies who stall and stall, yea?
Whatever rocks your boat tho.

UjSizzle:

Since when did sin-fearing make one attentive biko?

I think you're the one confused now.

Come! Don't you know that it is the fear of sin that makes you attentive, ehn? All these spiritually illiterate people sef. Smh.

MzNelly:

Don't insult my hibernated vestigial impudence! You're one of those ladies who stall and stall, yea?
Whatever rocks your boat tho.

Lol I don't stall. If I like you I tell you so, and ask for time.
Yes I am cynical and yes I like to be 150% sure about a person's intention and quirky habits I have to deal with.

If I don't like you, then you get an outright No that never changes.

ihedinobi2:

Come! Don't you know that it is the fear of sin that makes you attentive, ehn? All these spiritually illiterate people sef. Smh.

You spiritual literate might want to explain the relationship to us illiterate ones.

UjSizzle:

You spiritual literate might want to explain the relationship to us illiterate ones.

It is a sin to not be attentive to a woman you love. Grave sin. And sin attracts the wrath of God. Fear the wrath of God. Fear sin. And thus be attentive.

Shikena!

ihedinobi2:



It is a sin to not be attentive to a woman you love. Grave sin. And sin attracts the wrath of God. Fear the wrath of God. Fear sin. And thus be attentive.

Shikena!

*rolls eyes* uh huh

Mynd44:

I hear Laykhorn sells

yes! I sell in bulk and deliver to your doorstep. Call Mynd44, my Delivery Agent... He would deliver to ur doorstep with his rickety motorcycle

UjSizzle:

Lol I don't stall. If I like you I tell you so, and ask for time.
Yes I am cynical and yes I like to be 150% sure about a person's intention and quirky habits I have to deal with.

If I don't like you, then you get an outright No that never changes.

Nne me I like you, oya talk your own Do you wonna think about it and get back to me? Don't spend forever thinking o, unless you're on your own. No time for #FriendZoning

UjSizzle:

*rolls eyes* uh huh

Hair-flipping, eye-rolling females...

phabulous88:


Nne me I like you, oya talk your own Do you wonna think about it and get back to me? Don't spend forever thinking o, unless you're on your own. No time for #FriendZoning

I like you too *flutters lashes*

Oya buy me #5000 Richard card for starters.
Tomorrow i will send you my account number for your credit alert and when we're done you'll get my answer

The ball is now in your court

ihedinobi2:

Hair-flipping, eye-rolling females...

Drama queens, honey

UjSizzle:

Drama queens, honey

What Nollywood is missing

UjSizzle:

Drama queens, honey

@Uj
Wat are you guys up to now? Na wah o!

drlawizle:


Continue being yourself...and what will be will be.....i.e you continually having yourself friendzoned.

stand up man & be confident...its d new sexy.

You can only be friendzoned if you allow it.

Want to know what's sexy? Being yourself is

jahstech:


@Uj
Wat are you guys up to now? Na wah o!

Hmmm?

Oh, derailing this beautiful thread

UjSizzle:

I like you too *flutters lashes*

Oya buy me #5000 Richard card for starters.
Tomorrow i will send you my account number for your credit alert and when we're done you'll get my answer

The ball is now in your court

No wahala. Just PM me your account number, your mobile number and your house number. In short, send me all your numbers! I’m waiting...

Lovexme:




You can only be friendzoned if you allow it.

Want to know what's sexy? Being yourself is

Most ppls self is the shy,complex,timid &boring self...being this kind of self will only leave you all by yourself...

You need to work on that self and not just leave it that way...only ignorant or lazy assss men leave themselves to rot...real men realize dr problem & find ways to solve it...

Lovexme:
Guys, just be yourselves, and what will be will be.

I tell u. That's jst a simple definition of what a man is.

drlawizle:


Most ppls self is the shy,complex,timid &boring self...being this kind of self will only leave you all by yourself...

You need to work on that self and not just leave it that way...only ignorant or lazy assss men leave themselves to rot...real men realize dr problem & find ways to solve it...

You mustn't 'change' yourself just to suit someone's needs. Love is not selfish.

Only change if it's a bad representation of yourself.

who cares been friend zone??



do guys still complain of been friend zoned? wahala wa o

all I want is more cash