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On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… - Romance (11) - Nairaland

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Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by MizMyColi(f): 5:06pm On Sep 10, 2014
shoefreak: Nope. She is 'badder' than me. grin grin and she doesn't do alternate monikers.

Where is she sef? Even me don turn scarce commodity for NL. Hehehe... long thing!
grin

Mizmycoli, you ehn! Okay!

shocked shocked
ehn?!
What I do o o embarassed embarassed
I get scared when any of my boss ladies sound that way @TheEmboldened grin

2 Likes

Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by mukhcech(m): 5:16pm On Sep 10, 2014
Kachisbarbie:
Lol, I am married, with kids sef. I am just stating the obvious, that no one should take the hustle too serious.

I am married @hotwax

Being married and with Kids doesnt mean you are happy. Does it?

There are many loveless marriages nowadays even in ones where love was once its bedrock. The reason for this? The true essence of Marriage is lost.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by kalufelix(m): 5:16pm On Sep 10, 2014
Evolution and advancement of knowledge has taken mankind very far...

Lets not put pressure on ourselves because of these societal beliefs and expectations...

Be sure you know what you want and stick to what makes you happy because in REALITY this same society doesnt care about YOU...

#generationgonecrazy#
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by MizMyColi(f): 5:40pm On Sep 10, 2014
@Ihedinobi2, as it pertains marriage, @ different phases, we almost always feel we know what we need to, when in reality, we really don't.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by Nobody: 5:59pm On Sep 10, 2014
mukhcech:

Being married and with Kids doesnt mean you are happy. Does it?

There are many loveless marriages nowadays even in ones where love was once its bedrock. The reason for this? The true essence of Marriage is lost.
Then that one would be your business dear, the topic isn't about being married and happy, is it? This is topic for another day.
If all you guys envisage are loveless marriages, sorry to disappoint you, mine isn't one of them. Thank you

1 Like

Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by Misogynist2014(m): 6:00pm On Sep 10, 2014
DrGill:

Stop saying sh*t...who told u Christ didn't get married?...anoda breed of ignorance...mtchweee
He married your sister angry
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by mukhcech(m): 6:02pm On Sep 10, 2014
Kachisbarbie:
Then that one would be your business dear, the topic isn't about being married and happy, is it? This is topic for another day.
If all you guys envisage are loveless marriages, sorry to disappoint you, mine isn't one of them. Thank you

You are utmost welcome. Happy for your marriage. All the very best till the end.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by mukhcech(m): 6:09pm On Sep 10, 2014
MizMyColi: @Ihedinobi2, as it pertains marriage, @ different pahses, we almost always feel we know what we need to, when in reality, we really don't.

I blv this point should not be taken in context with your Original argument which I understood in all sincererity and purpose.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by MizMyColi(f): 6:16pm On Sep 10, 2014
mukhcech:

I blv this point should not be taken in context with your Original argument which I understood in all sincererity and purpose.
No, it shouldn't.
It had more to do with something he said.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by IdJack(m): 6:36pm On Sep 10, 2014
Truth be told...a lot of beautiful ladies not only single, but lonely, I am talking from experience, becos Ive been opportuned to chat with them on daily basic since my kind of business require being online 24/7. When i was in Nigeria, I met a pretty young gal in a fast food house that I went to have my lunch; at the end of the day we exchanges phone numbers. I did not call her for like 3 days, she started calling me even in the night...i was surprise until i told her I dont receive calls in the night, that i prefer chatting. We starting chating till she invited me to her house...the end of history. Now why I'm i saying this, a lot of them their beauty intimidate some guys from approaching them and its posses problem for them.

Also some of them take too much pride in their beauty; and forget the main thing which is character and good manners. The earlier they keep their beauty down the better for them to get settle down. That was what my gal frend wanted to do, (using her beauty to intimidate me) until she saw my facebook chat with beautiful ladies and she humble herself, becos she saw ladies of high class begging for chating, pingin and dating.

So ladies relax...sometimes your beauty will not take you anywhere near altar, exception of bedroom.

3 Likes

Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by ihedinobi2: 7:00pm On Sep 10, 2014
MizMyColi:



smiley



I avoid you because you remind me alot of me. (a part)
Funnily, I thought of it on my way back from work yesterday and
I be like:
"why do you avoid so and so people's post"
Then I start to give reasons
"They're too serious for my liking joor grin"
"That one never laughs, must he be so serious, ha! cheesy"
"The other one is fuzzy"
And then my inner, inner be like:
"Bae, own up joor smiley they remind you alot about yourself"
I burst into a laughter of sorts and had to form effizy with it, with my earpiece on, not really minding who was looking smiley
You don't like remembering yourself? grin

Of course I'm serious. I don't play around with serious issues.



MizMyColi: I haven't really made it a focus to think on how people get hitched.
For me, it'll happen/happens when it'll.
I see you are employed. So you probably are pursuing a career. Do you expect your career to just happen to you? If your career takes deliberate choices and input from you, how much more marriage?


MizMyColi: Going by my story, and like many single ladies out there, I made evident mistakes which I tried to address rather subtly in the original post.
Desperation is a very repugnant scent. It does have a way of driving the guys off.
Other times, the lady/guy might not necessarily be doing anything wrong, they just aren't meant to be.
About desperation, sure, a desperation to get married is unhealthy but not because it drives prospective love interests away but because it sets the judgment of the desperate one askew. It makes desperate people vulnerable to very bad choices.

As for the love interests themselves, I don't know anybody who doesn't want someone they're crazy about to be just as crazy about them. People run from affection only when they know they have to return it and they don't want to. That is the general problem.

MizMyColi: Honestly, I don't believe in "parameters" so to speak, they are good, yes.
But I'd trust more in a knowing, more like an a posteriori knowledge, that this is Him.
Feelings change, those parameters (they are in-fact, important) may disappear completely tomorrow.
Holistically, my parameter would be this, having known his Good, his Bad, his Ugly and his Very Ugly. (The emboldened may not necessarily show during courtship and the early stages of marriage, it'd take intuition and hind/foresight to know that for real).
Is he someone I can love still, despite all? (This is not the kind of decision you make in two weeks, even if God handed him in hand to you, it's rather gradual).
To begin with, how can you not care about what someone you will have to combine your life with is like? The parameters I spoke of are the qualities you should be looking out for. It's both character and personality. A man may be a good person but his particular makeup and purpose in life would be incompatible with yours. And the Book of Wisdom says that two cannot walk together or co-operate if they do not agree in quality.

Or consider how Jesus put it, you cannot mix different things. If you use a type of cloth to parch up another, you may cause a worse problem by doing so. So why would parameters not matter to you?

Secondly, is there some place in the Scriptures that tells you to depend on this type of knowledge you speak of? Does God offer it to us as our way of telling who to join forces with to accomplish the purposes that He has committed to us? Or does He say that we should take responsibility, learn from His Word what His goals for marriage are and thus learn what we are to look out for in our prospective partners so that we can achieve those goals?

Third, character and personality do not just disappear. People can pretend about who they are, yes. But this is where Christians are supposed to have the advantage. We look beyond what people say to what they do. A man who talks about respecting you and pulling out chairs and opening doors for you and actually does all that but frightens pedestrians with his reckless driving refusing to stop at zebra crossings, does not accommodate the weak around him, is lying brazenly to you. He will treat you in the same manner when he loses that glaze in his eyes.

Finally, "is he someone I can love still?" is a very tragic question to see from people thinking about a life committed to another human being. As far as love goes, you will have more than enough cause in a long life with somebody else not to love them. But love is how we carry people past their lows. The only condition attached to love is this: thou shalt let me love thee or I shall not. Apart from that, there is nothing. You commit to going through hell and high water with someone if need be because you see something you believe in. Or else you stay out of it. Love is not about what's convenient for you.



MizMyColi: I purposely consider it out of my control because I gave that rein of my life to someone who is beyond me, who I consider Alpha, Omega.
I once prayed in these lines:
"Abba, I know you've given me free will, I know I can live my life any how I want, without fear of any kind, because your sovereign hand'll be my guide."
"But Abba, concerning my marriage, I would that your absolute and perfect will be done."
"I give you full rein"
"I give you full control"

"Lead me in your paths...guide me aright"
"I'm afraid of making mistakes that I may never be able to redeem myself from"
"No matter what I do, no matter the choices I make, let your will for me be done."

"Abba, for the life you have prepared for me, prepare me."
"For the things I see not, show me."
"For the things I know not, teach me."

"Always give me wisdom for the moment."




.
smiley
.....you're welcome.
A good prayer indeed. But what God does in answer to that is to hand you back the reins and then teach you how to wield them. Believe me, sis, God never wanted nor does He now want robots. He insists that His children be mature and able to take responsibility so He gave us His Spirit and one another to learn how the system works so that we can take charge of it and make it go and create even more amazing things.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by ihedinobi2: 7:03pm On Sep 10, 2014
MizMyColi: @Ihedinobi2, as it pertains marriage, @ different phases, we almost always feel we know what we need to, when in reality, we really don't.
Let me assure you of one thing. We do not know everything. But at each point in our lives, God provides teachers to teach us what we need to know to take on the next phase.

I am confident that I know what marriage is about and what I should look for in a prospective spouse. I learned that from all the mistakes I made and experiences I had when I studied them under the light of the Bible.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by WoodcrestMayor(m): 7:18pm On Sep 10, 2014
I agree bro.I just put dat cos wetin dem dey always talk na say we dey dark age for naija and quite a numba of pple who say so are outside naija.Dem tink say na there life end.U need to visit dat ankle chain thread.
hotwax:


Its not African matter. Even the Oyinbos, the so called civilized people Cherise Union of Man and woman. The only reason they do arrangee wedding is because of cost of divorce. Divorce favors women in western countries. Despite that, they still find a way to get tied.

Beyonce, Kim Kardasian, Maria carey, big guns in American entertainment are not single. They have good and loving home.

Even little boy Justin Barbier has his own public girl.

Naija girls just get their own problem
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by mukhcech(m): 7:39pm On Sep 10, 2014
MizMyColi: No, it shouldn't.
It had more to do with something he said.

Owkay, Ma'm, I wud be glad if we can have an off topic discussion. If you don't mind, would you pls send me an empty message here on "sheidu(at)gmx(dot)com)" thank you.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by Nobody: 7:58pm On Sep 10, 2014
Just my own way of saying 'engaged'.

MizMyColi: Errrmmm
Please what does that mean.
What I saw in google is quite different.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by adexsimply(m): 9:12pm On Sep 10, 2014
ihedinobi2: @MizMyColi


If you're still young and beautiful, use your head. Your prettiness is not what's going to attract a good guy. It's your character first and then your personality. You can debate it if you like. You're welcome to. However, a man who has some place he's headed is more interested in companions that make it easier and quicker to get there than in the ones who have no interest in taking the trouble of travel. Doesn't matter what either looks like. I do appreciate beauty. I like my women gorgeous but I've found that commitment to people does something to your sense of judgment and to your eyes as well, if you're a man.
cool cool cool
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by adexsimply(m): 9:15pm On Sep 10, 2014
cococandy: The nastiest girls I ever met were the ugliest.
I don't know where y'all get the 'FACT' that most beautiful ladies have character flaws.

The mind boggles.

Nice thread mizmycoli
"Character flaws" and "nastiness" are two different things, although they are not mutually exclusive
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by shidof(m): 9:40pm On Sep 10, 2014
princessayesha: Matured post at last
Au sure abt dt dear
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by Nobody: 9:42pm On Sep 10, 2014
Sanchez01: I consider this a rebuttal to the one you read, unfortunately, I find the argument weak, a little too weak, I'd say. Your thread, though seem to serve as a bit of encouragement to females out there, still, it has failed to tackle the real issue.

No one loves a single, the earlier you understand it, the better. It is okay and maybe believable if a guy says so. I have friends who say they won't think of marriage until 15-20years from now. I'm talking about guys of around 25 years,on the average. And the reason is because they want to run around and explore before being tied down. The story is way different for ladies, at least, I have a bit of understanding, which is; ladies' don't have time on their neck as their male counterpart.



This is Africa, WE ARE BLACK AND OUR IDEOLOGY ABOUT MARRIAGE AND BEING SINGLE IS DIFFERENT FROM THAT OF THE WESTERN WORLD. Marriage, is the ultimate target for every lady in this part of the world. At least, they think so. True, why a lady is single is hers alone but will her parents think so? Her place of worship? Her friends? And even the society? We're superstitious and we hold marriage issues dear to our heart, particularly when it's on the part of the lady. Ladies are subjected to pressure on this part, particularly here, in Nigeria. To verify this, why do ladies feel uneasy when they hit 25? Why do they worry when all they get from guys are the 'boyfriend/girlfriend only zone'? You must understand these things, Dearie.

I never believed the post could get to a lady this much. It was only an opinion and I believe it shouldn't disturb anyone.
you stopped making sense at some point. And really, I'm tired of people like you excusing unforgivable acts under the guise that we are Africans, Nigerians and thus must take shi.t.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by MizMyColi(f): 10:20pm On Sep 10, 2014
Dear Ihedinobi2,

I couldn't fault anything in your posts, though there are some impressions, I'd wanted to correct.

I typed a reply that I deemed fit, but I changed my mind. I've let out really personal stuffs in one day than all my (NL)days put together.

You might have noticed a certain degree of aloofness in my previous reply to you, that's because, as it stands now, I have a fundamental misunderstanding of relationship reality and I would that I refrain from talking about it (personal ones) until, I gather my thoughts to a large extent.
Thank you for your time.
Of a truth, I've gleaned from you on this thread, consciously, subconsciously.

Again, thank you.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by ihedinobi2: 10:54pm On Sep 10, 2014
MizMyColi: Dear Ihedinobi2,

I couldn't fault anything in your posts, though there are some impressions, I'd wanted to correct.

I typed a reply that I deemed fit, but I changed my mind. I've let out really personal stuffs in one day than all my (NL)days put together.

You might have noticed a certain degree of aloofness in my previous reply to you, that's because, as it stands now, I have a fundamental misunderstanding of relationship reality and I would that I refrain from talking about it (personal ones) until, I gather my thoughts to a large extent.
Thank you for your time.
Of a truth, I've gleaned from you on this thread, consciously, subconsciously.

Again, thank you.
Thank you too for engaging me. I am grateful for the opportunity. And I have gained a new sympathy for women too from being here.

Whenever you gather your thoughts, I would be very pleased to hear them.

smiley
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by lefteyeball(m): 11:02pm On Sep 10, 2014
Shout out to fellow thread viewers.... Una too much!

*Strictly here to read thread...No commenting*
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by rhymz(m): 11:05pm On Sep 10, 2014
While it is understandable that marriage should not be emphasized to a woman to the point stigmatisation, it will be folly for any woman to downplay its importance in the scheme of her being happy and fulfilled, Yes. This is true even for man. Seriously, I am yet to see a single person that likes being all by themselves, even the celibate priests in their solitude crave for companionship.

In my own experience as a young man that has interacted with many ladies both educated and non-educated, it goes beyond beauty and accompanying character flaws. There is the issue of doing things with cultured moderation. That is where many times it seem like the really pretty ladies and very educated ladies seem to get it wrong and many men see it as arrogance and character flaws they can not Kiev with.

I have noticed that it is easier for emotionally expressive, sincere and humble women to get married than the ones that are very educated, logically expressive and very proud women to get any man to take them seriously. To many men they are a piece of work they are not ready to do seriously. It is easier for an unexposed woman with just a little above school cert to get married than for a PhD wielding female professor to get married, this is true for women not just here in Africa but everywhere.

The fact is this, a woman that knows too much of what she wants always end up being the beautiful well exposed single and lonely woman. No man wants a woman that will continue to be a challenge to him even in marriage.

So the key here is moderation.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by verome: 11:16pm On Sep 10, 2014
If May ask, what is the beauty of a woman?
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by mukhcech(m): 6:58am On Sep 11, 2014
rhymz: While it is understandable that marriage should not be emphasized to a woman to the point stigmatisation, it will be folly for any woman to downplay its importance in the scheme of her being happy and fulfilled, Yes. This is true even for man. Seriously, I am yet to see a single person that likes being all by themselves, even the celibate priests in their solitude crave for companionship.

In my own experience as a young man that has interacted with many ladies both educated and non-educated, it goes beyond beauty and accompanying character flaws. There is the issue of doing things with cultured moderation. That is where many times it seem like the really pretty ladies and very educated ladies seem to get it wrong and many men see it as arrogance and character flaws they can not Kiev with.

I have noticed that it is easier for emotionally expressive, sincere and humble women to get married than the ones that are very educated, logically expressive and very proud women to get any man to take them seriously. To many men they are a piece of work they are not ready to do seriously. It is easier for an unexposed woman with just a little above school cert to get married than for a PhD wielding female professor to get married, this is true for women not just here in Africa but everywhere.

The fact is this, a woman that knows too much of what she wants always end up being the beautiful well exposed single and lonely woman. No man wants a woman that will continue to be a challenge to him even in marriage.

So the key here is moderation.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by MizMyColi(f): 7:00am On Sep 11, 2014

Hi Ihedinobi2
Good Morning.

Please, when you can, I would that you edit out the part of the story I shared with you, I think it's served its purpose already smiley

Thanks.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by hotwax: 7:04am On Sep 11, 2014
IdJack: Truth be told...a lot of beautiful ladies not only single, but lonely, I am talking from experience, becos Ive been opportuned to chat with them on daily basic since my kind of business require being online 24/7. When i was in Nigeria, I met a pretty young gal in a fast food house that I went to have my lunch; at the end of the day we exchanges phone numbers. I did not call her for like 3 days, she started calling me even in the night...i was surprise until i told her I dont receive calls in the night, that i prefer chatting. We starting chating till she invited me to her house...the end of history. Now why I'm i saying this, a lot of them their beauty intimidate some guys from approaching them and its posses problem for them.

Also some of them take too much pride in their beauty; and forget the main thing which is character and good manners. The earlier they keep their beauty down the better for them to get settle down. That was what my gal frend wanted to do, (using her beauty to intimidate me) until she saw my facebook chating with beautiful ladies and she humble herself, becos she saw ladies of high class begging for chating, pingin and dating.

So ladies relax...sometimes your beauty will not take you anywhere near altar, exception of bedroom.



Their beauty get into their head.

At times when I walk to Law school/Idowu Tailor side of Victoria island in the night. I see very beautiful and clean babes standing at the road side for customers. If you look at them twice and if u r not a disciplined type, you would want to negotiate. When young beauties like this, can offer herself to just for 5,000 naira. Why do I have to run after pompous beautiful girls who will use me do Yanga and give me hard conditions before she can date me.

It beats me. When a man see a beautiful woman, what comes to his mind is, how is she gonna be on bed. They wont think "How is she gonna be as wife". The mentality sucksss

1 Like

Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by MizMyColi(f): 7:04am On Sep 11, 2014
10000000+ likes
rhymz: While it is understandable that marriage should not be emphasized to a woman to the point stigmatisation, it will be folly for any woman to downplay its importance in the scheme of her being happy and fulfilled, Yes. This is true even for man. Seriously, I am yet to see a single person that likes being all by themselves, even the celibate priests in their solitude crave for companionship.

In my own experience as a young man that has interacted with many ladies both educated and non-educated, it goes beyond beauty and accompanying character flaws. There is the issue of doing things with cultured moderation. That is where many times it seem like the really pretty ladies and very educated ladies seem to get it wrong and many men see it as arrogance and character flaws they can not Kiev with.

I have noticed that it is easier for emotionally expressive, sincere and humble women to get married than the ones that are very educated, logically expressive and very proud women to get any man to take them seriously. To many men they are a piece of work they are not ready to do seriously. It is easier for an unexposed woman with just a little above school cert to get married than for a PhD wielding female professor to get married, this is true for women not just here in Africa but everywhere.

The fact is this, a woman that knows too much of what she wants always end up being the beautiful well exposed single and lonely woman. No man wants a woman that will continue to be a challenge to him even in marriage.

So the key here is moderation.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by rhymz(m): 7:27am On Sep 11, 2014
Kachisbarbie:
Then that one would be your business dear, the topic isn't about being married and happy, is it? This is topic for another day.
If all you guys envisage are loveless marriages, sorry to disappoint you, mine isn't one of them. Thank you
Your answer is very succinct and apt.
Nothing is as stvpid a reply as a somebody trying to justify being single in the hope that those who are already married probably are not happy in their marriage, like they wish you are not happy so you can go back to being single like them.

A Lot of black women like to hide under the guise of being strong and black like that really means anything outside of fighting off loneliness and the lack of presence of a male figure to help them raise the kids. If it did not mean anything to many of them that claim all sorts of happiness, why then do they use the term Strong Black Women....that in itself is ironical.

Many women these days just want already made men, they don't have time for a man whose time has not come regardless of his future prospects. The irony of this state of mind is that many of these same women are not made women either, and most made men want made women like them as well. They too have become wiser in the game. I know a lot of guyz that suffered rejection from women they truly loved when they were just starting out, many of these guy today are made and have become players that are on a kind of revenge mission. Many of them end up marrying women who are just average looking, this of course is after they have sampled all the so-called pretty ladies out there.

3 Likes

Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by ihedinobi2: 7:45am On Sep 11, 2014
MizMyColi:
Hi Ihedinobi2
Good Morning.

Please, when you can, I would that you edit out the part of the story I shared with you, I think it's served its purpose already smiley

Thanks.
Hi. Good morning to you too. Sure.
Re: On Why The “Beautiful” Ones Are Still Single… by pickabeau1: 7:49am On Sep 11, 2014
rhymz: While it is understandable that marriage should not be emphasized to a woman to the point stigmatisation, it will be folly for any woman to downplay its importance in the scheme of her being happy and fulfilled, Yes. This is true even for man. Seriously, I am yet to see a single person that likes being all by themselves, even the celibate priests in their solitude crave for companionship.

In my own experience as a young man that has interacted with many ladies both educated and non-educated, it goes beyond beauty and accompanying character flaws. There is the issue of doing things with cultured moderation. That is where many times it seem like the really pretty ladies and very educated ladies seem to get it wrong and many men see it as arrogance and character flaws they can not Kiev with.

I have noticed that it is easier for emotionally expressive, sincere and humble women to get married than the ones that are very educated, logically expressive and very proud women to get any man to take them seriously. To many men they are a piece of work they are not ready to do seriously. It is easier for an unexposed woman with just a little above school cert to get married than for a PhD wielding female professor to get married, this is true for women not just here in Africa but everywhere.

The fact is this, a woman that knows too much of what she wants always end up being the beautiful well exposed single and lonely woman. No man wants a woman that will continue to be a challenge to him even in marriage.

So the key here is moderation.

Dude why are u being diplomatic at the bolded
Use the word...... submissive

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