chidyhels: Your best friend should be your boyfriend.
She should tell her bf to step up his game or she end the relationship. Cheating is cheating.

even if d BF "steps up" to Mount Everest...she'd stil cheat...most girls cheat...infact A*L GIRLS cheat...

'The first person she wants to call when she wakes up' that says a lot already, she's already emotionally attached, and how can u define love without the emotions, it means she's already having dreams about him while at sleep, the earlier she tells herself the truth, the better, who does she really, want.
And on the question, if its cheating on not, I don't know what else to call it, if the other guy is already taking the call of her boyfriend early in the morning, and taking the better place of her emotions. Hey.

Which one is emotional cheating again, cheating is cheating please.

to me its not cheating.
:how will u call this cheating when it's a relationship that definitely will lead to no way?
if the girl is under courtship or is bethroted to the guy then i will say she is cheating but under this boyfriend- girlfriend status, she is just just fine. and also what if the new GUY IS THE MAIN MAN DESIGN TO BE HER MR RIGHT IN FUTURE?
Say person feeds u, pay ur school fees, dey give u all what not no mean say na him go marry u, maybe GOD send him ur way to be a primary hlper till the SECONDARY GET package. /gUYS TAKE note!

kobonaire: I f'king know I am viewing this topic and do not need some nincompoop to tell me what I already know and can equally see at the bottom of the page

now wey u don show urself say u hear english...oya rest

Babymama1:

The second guy is obviously more attractive to her
What is she still doing with the boyfriend?
She is not married,so what is stopping her ,she can leave him and face the more desirable bobo
What is the use having a boyfriend when your heart belongs to someone else
Just switch over and tell the old boyfriend that you are done.such is life
No need living a lie,it will backfire when it comes out for it surely will
She is a single lady and this is the time to go with her heart

. TRUE,,

temigracie: ...How about if this particular guy doesnt feel anything for her??maybe he just sess her like a normal close pal....what if the guy is a woman-wrapper??

More often the guy may not really digg her. As he chats with you he does samewith other ladies.

Honestly some ladies are fools and i mean a big time DUMB ASS.

Please tell me,what siught of a man will continue to show interest in a lady who is engaged or married but a wayward bastard from the pitts of hell who has no regard for the santity of marriage andofcourse such a man will never value his own marriage.

I have a principle that makes me diatant myself from any lady who tells me she is married,engaged or in a comitted relationship. I dstance myself from you no matter how i feel towards you and i have met ladies who have been seperated from their hubby yet i still believe seperation to me is not divorce.

So honestly most ladies are so dumb and clueless that they will be in a committed relationship and just mess it up because they are infatuated to one low life who is probably just interested in screwn them and dumping them to move on to the next looosed dumb ass.

she has no respect 4 her man. let her re-evaluate the relationship, to determine who she really wants and stick to him. but ryt nw she is cheating. and this kind of cheating were d heart is fully involved is worse than just avin casual sex

temigracie: ...Yeah, she is...

Its called cheating....cheating has no other name....

Theres every possibility she' ll fall inlove with this nigga....And if this nigga ask her out, she ll start having second thought towards her relationship....

The best thing to do is to cut any connection with the guy and face her relationship squarely.....

well said !

poiZon: to me its not cheating.
:how will u call this cheating when it's a relationship that definitely will lead to no way?
if the girl is under courtship or is bethroted to the guy then i will say she is cheating but under this boyfriend- girlfriend status, she is just just fine. and also what if the new GUY IS THE MAIN MAN DESIGN TO BE HER MR RIGHT IN FUTURE?
Say person feeds u, pay ur school fees, dey give u all what not no mean say na him go marry u, maybe GOD send him ur way to be a primary hlper till the SECONDARY GET package. /gUYS TAKE note!

May God deliver your next victim.

If u ask me, I would say d OP is d girl in question. U better choose one b4 it's too late

Dia ar so many type of cheatn,dis 1 is called partial cheatn...

Babymama1:

The second guy is obviously more attractive to her
What is she still doing with the boyfriend?
She is not married,so what is stopping her ,she can leave him and face the more desirable bobo
What is the use having a boyfriend when your heart belongs to someone else
Just switch over and tell the old boyfriend that you are done.such is life
No need living a lie,it will backfire when it comes out for it surely will
She is a single lady and this is the time to go with her heart

I simply laugh at the naivety of some ladies who claim they are in search of a man who will truly love them and appreciate them.

Why i laugh is because deep inside these ladies,they know if a man truly desires and appreciates them but what they are actually looking for is totally different from what they claim.

I have heard many ladies set standards as regards the type of man they want and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that except the fact that they cross the line by wanting to be with a man they have strong feelings for and even if they meet a man that truly desires them,as long as they don't have feelings for such man,its a NO.

I'm sorry to tell you this truth; many ladies will end up been an object of ridicule in their affairs until they learn the fact that all you need is a man that will truly love,appreciate and value you and every other thing is secondary.

Don;t be carried away by his money,looks or razzmatazz but be sensitive to know if he sincerely wants you and cherish you. If you are fortunate to have a prince charming who also truly desires you,good for you but never make this a must.

Yes i agree that your feelings towards this person is important but your marital happiness does not lie in what you feel for him rather its the way he feels towards you.

Of what use will it be if you end up marrying a man you are crazy about but will make you cry all the time? Of what use will it be if you end up with that man that has all you want except the fact that he turns you to a punching bag?

Some ladies are actually fortunate to end up with man of their dreams but to be on the safer side,be sensitive to know if that man truly desires you because not every man that comes for your hand in marriage truly loves and cherishes you because many guys these days marry for selfish reasons.

Trust me,its better to be with a man who truly wants,desires,appreciates you than to end up with a man you want but does not really wants you.

Don't let any man manage you,whether you are short,too tall,lanky, fat,"ugly", cute,thin...i can assure you that there is a man out there who will love and appreciate you just the way you are.

And the best part is that you will also fall in love in a short while with any man who truly shows you he cares even if he is a short fat ugly man.(watch beauty and the beast) and you will agree with me that all a woman needs is a man that will love and cherish her all the days of her life.

That is the man you need,and not necessarily the man you are crazy about.

Hope this helps

Look at you all, someone has found her soul mate and y'all are here defending another nigga that would dumb her tomorrow for another b!tch.

Well! I believe all depends on understanding frm both party..

temigracie: ...Yeah, she is...

Its called cheating....cheating has no other name....

Theres every possibility she' ll fall inlove with this nigga....And if this nigga ask her out, she ll start having second thought towards her relationship....

The best thing to do is to cut any connection with the guy and face her relationship squarely.....

u lie babe...i nor support u at all...see...every body has dat somebody dey can confide in.....and it must not be ur lover...me sharing my tot with u and i feel safe while doing dat does not mean am cheating on my partner..like she rightly said...she is not sexualy attracted...she has found solace in a friend...dats just it...my opinion tho....

voodoo85:
i think its much more than physical cheating. sex may not mean anything but when u r sharing your soul with smbd thats the worst

I keep telling folks sex is over-rated, just pheromones at work (not saying one should go about humping or getting humped by all and sundry).

The OP's colleague relationship (if she had any in the first place ) is not about to hit the rocks BUT it's hit a huge boulder and is shattered already. She should spare her 'boyfriend' the sorrow and call it quits as the emotional flirting-fling thing she has on the side will be the demise of the relationship.

This has gone beyond just having a 'friend' with a listening ear and loving disposition. This here situation is a precursor to a full blown cheating relationship. Just a matter of time.

Dcaliphate:
is the boyfriend going to marry her? a lady is free to select any guy she deems fit until there ia a commitment so dont talk about facing an uncertain relationship 'squarely'. udo.

So what do you mean is the boyfriend going to marry her? Do you know the type of relationship they are into? Pls you don't deceive urself that's the greatest decite.cheating is cheating weda he is going to marry her or not.pls honesty is the best legacy.

Toks2008:


I simply laugh at the naivety of some ladies who claim they are in search of a man who will truly love them and appreciate them.

Why i laugh is because deep inside these ladies,they know if a man truly desires and appreciates them but what they are actually looking for is totally different from what they claim.

I have heard many ladies set standards as regards the type of man they want and there is absolutely nothing wrong in that except the fact that they cross the line by wanting to be with a man they have strong feelings for and even if they meet a man that truly desires them,as long as they don't have feelings for such man,its a NO.

I'm sorry to tell you this truth; many ladies will end up been an object of ridicule in their affairs until they learn the fact that all you need is a man that will truly love,appreciate and value you and every other thing is secondary.

Don;t be carried away by his money,looks or razzmatazz but be sensitive to know if he sincerely wants you and cherish you. If you are fortunate to have a prince charming who also truly desires you,good for you but never make this a must.

Yes i agree that your feelings towards this person is important but your marital happiness does not lie in what you feel for him rather its the way he feels towards you.

Of what use will it be if you end up marrying a man you are crazy about but will make you cry all the time? Of what use will it be if you end up with that man that has all you want except the fact that he turns you to a punching bag?

Some ladies are actually fortunate to end up with man of their dreams but to be on the safer side,be sensitive to know if that man truly desires you because not every man that comes for your hand in marriage truly loves and cherishes you because many guys these days marry for selfish reasons.

Trust me,its better to be with a man who truly wants,desires,appreciates you than to end up with a man you want but does not really wants you.

Don't let any man manage you,whether you are short,too tall,lanky, fat,"ugly", cute,thin...i can assure you that there is a man out there who will love and appreciate you just the way you are.

And the best part is that you will also fall in love in a short while with any man who truly shows you he cares even if he is a short fat ugly man.(watch beauty and the beast) and you will agree with me that all a woman needs is a man that will love and cherish her all the days of her life.

That is the man you need,and not necessarily the man you are crazy about.

Hope this helps

abeg all wetin u type na pure assumption. Nothing bad was said about the other guy apart from, so stop making wrong hypothesis already. The guy could be more loving than her bf.

Arcasie: A friend told me about a situation she is going through and that got me thinking about this emotional cheating thing.

she has a boyfriend but shares a deep connection with another guy. their relationship is not sexual or anything but she just enjoys how interesting, witty, and understanding the guy is when they talk or chat and she tells him everything that she is going through. Its gotten so bad he's the 1st person she thinks of calling when she wakes up and her boyfriend doesn't even know about him. I tell her to keep her distance from the guy cuz she may get involved and she says its just a really great friendship and nothing more because she is not attracted sexually.

is she still cheating if she is not sleeping with the guy?

Wow and there is dis girl that does dis to me, so she is actually cheating on her bf. Isalright

You can be together and grow old together if both of you are willing to work it out.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there, doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they call at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens) and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment just to start that same circle all again and later realize the former partner was way better than the present one and then some people opt out once more to start that same circle all over with another new person and at this point the world starts looking at you as a clueless no good person who can never be happy with anyone.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, it’s learning to love the person you found.

Did you read that last paragraph?please get this once more;

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, it’s learning to love the person you found.

Loving someone is not by accident,its not a feeling,its a conscious decision by the people involved to be together and weather the storms together and not looking for an easy way out. The storms of lack,incompatibility childlessness, family scuffle,infidelity,bitterness,and many more.

Until both of you are willing to make it work,only then will GOD come in to make it happen. Because two people can never work together except they agree.

MizMyColi:
You see, that's one mistake females are very prone to make.
Feeling and acting like they're married, when they're not.
We call it, "being faithful".

It becomes really irksome because, in most scenarios, these boyfriends are more like figure heads, they bring either little or nothing to the table.

Truth is, if as a single, I start developing extreme feelings of closeness to another, and in all honesty, it isn't sexual........
Then there most be something that guy is doing right, especially emotionally.


No, I'm not advocating that she dumps her man, uhn, uhn.......that'd be plain foolish, because for all we know, she just might be infatuated with this guy. Need I also point out that the male folk are better pretenders.

She needs to ask herself questions:
What is it about this guy that trips me so?
Is my boyfriend, despite his flaws, really all that I desire in a man?
Do I have needs that I haven't been as open in communicating, with my boyfriend?


That said, she has to take a break from the new guy already, yes she must take that break, to recollect herself emotionally (of course! It requires discipline).

I also know that when you commit to get married to an individual, more oft than not, someone else shows up, who makes your partner look like a big time learner......She just might be in that phase now. It's called Emotional Infidelity

I'll leave you with this quote I shared here just recently, hope it leaves you with some form of guidance

"I'd rather be the prize you felt you deserved, than be the option you felt forced to settle for. If we BOTH don't feel blessed to have one another, then we shouldn't be together."
~Rob Hill Sr.

Good Morning.

What give you the impression that the bf is not faithful or does not bring anythin to the table.

The fact that she is getting worried about the level of closeness with the new guy shows that she still know the worth of her bf.

It is Fantasies that worrying Ur friend....things are not always as they seem from afar.....

patrickdarlins: u lie babe...i nor support u at all...see...every body has dat somebody dey can confide in.....and it must not be ur lover...me sharing my tot with u and i feel safe while doing dat does not mean am cheating on my partner..like she rightly said...she is not sexualy attracted...she has found solace in a friend...dats just it...my opinion tho....

Why do people mostly base 'cheating' on the concept of extra-relationship sex. Sex is just a manifestation of something deeper that has gone wrong. A mis-connection, a drifting apart, lack of belief et al. Sex is the way that the anomalies in a relationship manifests itself. More like the symptom of an inner disease, the disease being a state of dis-affection with your other half.

It's the betrayal that hurts the most. That feeling that your other feel or think you are not worthy enough to be their all and all despite how much you love and care for them. This inference you draw from an act such as the OP described. If you don't feel 'safe' in divulging facts with your significant other then what is the essence of the relationship? Maybe it's just a physical one eh? If you can't trust your better half with your time, life, body and thoughts what's the point in being in a relationship? Remember this; someday sex will pass away, it's a natural progression-she's in menopause and he can't get it up anymore, what sustains the relationship then til death comes knocking is the friendship the OP's friend has found in someone else rather than her man, so what's the use of holding on to something you don't have in the first place. So if I were the unfortunate bloke, I'm walking away...(In Craig Davids voice).

She's cheating on her future husband with her boyfriend & her bestfriend.

rattlesnake: It is Fantasies that worrying Ur friend....things are not always as they seem from afar.....

Sho' you right. Like that girl that got married to a six foot cut out of the Twilight guy. (Don't mean to be sarcastic though...couldn't help myself).

I don't know what everyone is ranting about there are some people that if the world should come to an end you would not want to have anything to do with them sexually. God will have to create another set for them to multiply and subdue the earth. But they can be good friends and you would want to tell them everything about yourself.

INFATUATION! So she now thinks the new dude is so understanding and witty just over the phone lol I laugh.
Mind you guys including me can fake reality, tell you what you want to hear and make you feel like it's a fairytale until you actually get the chance to spend time with them. Truth is she is attached emotional to the new guy and she can't object sex if they happen to be together. On a second thought I hope she is not just digging gold from his bf because I see no reason she should remain with someone that is not understanding, witty and bla bla bla.

It's all a mirage and will fade away after sex.

xkobans:

May God deliver your next victim.

hmmmm, its like u dont get me.
but all d same life is beautiful when u live by the rules!

G12:
abeg all wetin u type na pure assumption. Nothing bad was said about the other guy apart from, so stop making wrong hypothesis already. The guy could be more loving than her bf.

but of course the new guy will appear perfect at the beginning. they are obviously not living together with the lady so she is not aware of his flaws. trust me he is not as perfect as she thinks. most guys, anyway, don't marry the ladies (wives especially) they snatch from another man. guys aren't as dumb as ladies. he'll always have it at the back of his mind that he might the next victim. cos smart bros know hoes ain't loyal.

I have one question to ask

Is this the guy in d zone that most guys dread?

"Friendzone"