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Okijajuju1: Emotional cheating is way way worse than physical intercourse..





The day you lose your partner 'emotionally' to another person, then you might as well be married to a blow up doll or a D!ldo..

Marriage/relationships are mostly about emotions.


#Fact..

It all boils down to ineffective communication.

THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION.

Do you know that communication is the only prerequisite for any long lasting union?

Every break in any form of union starts with a break down of communication. And worst still, delayed communication which gradually leads to emotional infidelity and the resultant effect is a physical infidelity and finally a break in the union that was once full of happiness and affection..

Writing from experience,i had an issue in my relationship simply because my spouse did not adequately communicate some issues in a timely manner and while i was feeling cool that all is well, According to her stands,she was nursing resentments that would have been trashed out in a timely manner if she had voiced out with every sense of seriousness and not jokefully and i never even had the slightest clue that she was hurting and will just wave any form of remarks she makes and we will even laugh over it.

This is the same case with many union today, we tend to stomach issues that would have been discussed and trashed out. There is no small or big issue, all issues must be treated with urgency. Don't be lackadaisical in expressing your resentments but communicate your pains sternly.

The worst part of it is that most of the time, the other party does not even have a clue if you are hurting so while you keep building up resentments, he/she will help you to add more until it becomes so big that before you say Jack, the union is broken beyond repair.

It could be an issue as trivial as the way your partner uses water, toothpaste,eati ng habit,relates with people, uses groceries in the house,the snoring habit, dress sense,abusive words,talkativeness or as serious as drunkenness, smoking,addiction of any kind,philandering and so on.

Even in intimate matters, you may like to be touched in a certain manner, made love to in a certain way,it may be a body odor from your partner or mouth odor.

It can be anything and i mean anything at all. Don't shelve it, don't ignore that issue,TRASH IT OUT IMMEDIATELY and i mean real trashing in a serious but humble and loving manner.

If he does not last long in bed please tell him to do something about it because you don't want to go out. If she is not good in bed tell her or teach her how you want it.

If you allow that resentment to go undisclosed, you can be sure to have more and more every passing day until it becomes a great wall of permanent divide.

Don't be scared in discussing issues with your spouse because if you are afraid of doing this then i guess you should as well opt for a break because i don't see that union getting better. And if you are the type of man who is so bossy that you think women have no say then you are indeed a beast who deserves to be living alone in the jungle.

It is no longer news that tolerance is vital in any union we find ourselves but nevertheless, we can always adjust and be the best we can for our partners if only we know the area that needs adjustment which can only be known by us if the other party opens up.

Lets learn to be communicative in a constructive and humane manner and we will realize how powerful this can be.

aguleog: I read a small novel when I was coming up that says "You never know with women" by Chase. I think I believed him.

True that!
That's why i will never advice any "Good" man to show excessive love and care to any Woman,they dnt value it.Good guys,pls don't be too emotionally attached to any woman,at the end them go fall your hands BADLY.

Does she really have to cut the connection? If the "friend" is indeed worthwhile, as she claims to call him first in the morning...she should just be with this someone that gives her so much "life". Simple! Life is too short to be living in denial and holding back from what you really desire. And that she likes him just as a friend is a lie she has chosen to tell herself and believe. Eeeeesssssh!

temigracie: ...Yeah, she is...

Its called cheating....cheating has no other name....

Theres every possibility she' ll fall inlove with this nigga....And if this nigga ask her out, she ll start having second thought towards her relationship....

The best thing to do is to cut any connection with the guy and face her relationship squarely.....

Dcmg: True that!
That's why i will never advice any "Good" man to show excessive love and care to any Woman,they dnt value it.Good guys,pls don't be too emotionally attached to any woman,at the end them go fall your hands BADLY.

I disagree my freind.

The best way to be happy in any union you find yourself is to treat each other like royalty, love each other as if there is no other person in this world, cherish each other an remain faithful to him or her.

But still expect the worst from the other person but if the worse never comes, good for you and if it does, it won't hurt much cos you are already prepared for it.

This is why i have decided to go for lady that catches my fancy physically and i don't really care about that good character facade. A good lady can turn terribly bad and a supposed bad lady can turn a new leaf. I go for what turns me on and that will be good enough for me to remain faithful to her.

@Toks2008, well said. But even at that, intact communication is not always a guarantee as some irresponsible folks still decide to tred d path of infidelity despite having a good flow with their spouses.Sometimes it is all about discipline and tolerance. some persons simply engage in what can be called 'longerthroat in dating' because no matter how complete their partner or spouse is,they still want to cheat.
Once again thanks for all ur meaningful posts.

Ceasar1:

You seem to mis-understand me.

See, her boyfriend should be the one getting the emotional attachment not the “other dude” and that's why I called the “other dude” the wrong guy.

You grab? ╯_╰

I am afraid you added nothing new.

There is no wrong guy in the first place.

She should be honest with herself and know what really attracts her emotionally to the other guy,then try to strike the balance with her boy friend if after a while she isn't able to reach that level of emotional attachment with the boy friend.........well she should move on if she thinks its best after all she isn't married and relationships have been known to die naturally cause of lack of intrest

Emotional cheating is even worse. And yes i do believe your friend is cheating

She should just quit the relationship and stop decieving herself

Eventually she will fallout of love with her man and fall in love with the other guy

maestroferddi :

Ceasar1:
You seem to mis-understand me.
See, her boyfriend should be the one
getting the emotional attachment not
the “other dude” and that's why I
called the “other dude” the wrong guy.
You grab? ╯_╰

I am afraid you added nothing new.
There is no wrong guy in the first place.


Maybe he should have just said 'the other guy'.

Toks2008:


It all boils down to ineffective communication
The worst part of it is that most of the time, the other party does not even have a clue if you are hurting so while you keep building up resentments, he/she will help you to add more until it becomes so big that before you say Jack, the union is broken beyond repair.

I like you play on the Union Jack

Lumyboi:

Exactly...ur friend is simply a cheat. Al tru ones life u always c pple who r handsome or pretty, if u cnt stick to ur partner den no oda word for u dan 'u b bread'

U're on point tho bt the 'bread' part is what I don't get. mind to elaboate?

Toks2008:


I disagree my freind.

The best way to be happy in any union you find yourself is to treat each other like royalty, love each other as if there is no other person in this world, cherish each other an remain faithful to him or her.

But still expect the worst from the other person but if the worse never comes, good for you and if it does, it won't hurt much cos you are already prepared for it.

This is why i have decided to go for lady that catches my fancy physically and i don't really care about that good character facade. A good lady can turn terribly bad and a supposed bad lady can turn a new leaf. I go for what turns me on and that will be good enough for me to remain faithful to her.

Egbon,that is your opinion.
Not all guys will show love to a woman and be prepared to be hurt,there are guys out there who can't stand infidelity if they'v sacrifised everything for their woman.
As for me,when in any relationship with a woman,i will never be too emotionally attached to her i.e,i can't make her my Priority.But i would never cheat and i would show/give you the respect you deserve but never surrender my heart.It's a waste of time and emotion

Cheny: @Toks2008, well said. But even at that, intact communication is not always a guarantee as some irresponsible folks still decide to tred d path of infidelity despite having a good flow with their spouses.Sometimes it is all about discipline and tolerance. some persons simply engage in what can be called 'longerthroat in dating' because no matter how complete their partner or spouse is,they still want to cheat.
Once again thanks for all ur meaningful posts.

I quite agree for that longer throat factor and this is why i tell guys, "go for a chic that turns your swag on, sexually above all and then other stuffs follow"

If she bleeps up as regards sexual infidelity, kick her ass outta the affair and get another sweet chic.

Its not a matter oi philandering, there are too many sweet chics out there for one Chic to start misbehaving.

Lust play your role right and don't let her leverage on your lapses.

cole265: If truly she does not want to be guilty of cheating, what she needs to do is simple. Break up with her boyfriend and hook up with her true love (the guy) before it is too late. Say the truth. You are the one...better take to my advice or you live to regret it for life! a word they say is enough for the wise.

Bursted!!!

Nairalanders sha can say some bitter truths

Op I concur pls do the needful

temigracie: ...Yeah, she is...

Its called cheating....cheating has no other name....

Theres every possibility she' ll fall inlove with this nigga....And if this nigga ask her out, she ll start having second thought towards her relationship....

The best thing to do is to cut any connection with the guy and face her relationship squarely.....

Perhaps before every advice, reason all the factors that are attached to the situation... What is the reason or the cause for this girl not to be able to relate well with her boyfriend? You can love two people at once but can only be in love with one. So far she's thinking more of the other dude, I say she is in love with him. Love does not necessarily mean sex...

patrickdarlins: u lie babe...i nor support u at all...see...every body has dat somebody dey can confide in.....and it must not be ur lover...me sharing my tot with u and i feel safe while doing dat does not mean am cheating on my partner..like she rightly said...she is not sexualy attracted...she has found solace in a friend...dats just it...my opinion tho....

My friend's point exactly!! she knows she inlove with her boyfriend but she is the type who does not believe in cutting off good friendship just because he's of the opposite sex and would still hv this connection if he were a lady ...she just is the type who does not do shallow friendship, and she admits she loves the guy but like how she loves her brothers and could never date him evn if she wad paid to

thats y im confused if she is justified to have a guy frnd like that or its only her boyfriend she can have a connection with??

Emotional cheating... is CHEATING!
Internet dating...is PART of emotional cheating.
For those of you tredding the emotional cheating path....
Best way to get over it, is by telling the one you are in a relationship that s/he is not your number 1 priority for now...

Regards,

Muffy

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temigracie: ...Yeah, she is...

Its called cheating....cheating has no other name....

Theres every possibility she' ll fall inlove with this nigga....And if this nigga ask her out, she ll start having second thought towards her relationship....

The best thing to do is to cut any connection with the guy and face her relationship squarely.....

look my friend is inlove with her boyfriend but she is just the type who doesnt do shallow friendship ...so she cant hv a reali great frienship with a guy just because he is of the opposite sex i dont think the situation would have bn any different if it ws a lady ....she admits she loves the guy but just like how she loves her brothers and no romantic feelings involved

Dcaliphate:
if u hold on to love too tightly u will lose it. I love her but I cant force her to be with me, im not that insecure, if she prefers someone else dats her decision to make. Relationship is not a do or die affair.

I really love this!! So on point!! Its not a do or die affair, buh I juxt like it better when u tell me! Not finding out myself that while I was worrying myslef out abt u, u were already gone!! Juxt a simple breakup line and I'll walk, at least there won't b d betrayal feeling there, it will b a mutual termination of agreement!!! Lifes beautiful!!!

temigracie: ...Yeah, she is...

Its called cheating....cheating has no other name....

Theres every possibility she' ll fall inlove with this nigga....And if this nigga ask her out, she ll start having second thought towards her relationship....

The best thing to do is to cut any connection with the guy and face her relationship squarely.....

My friend is inlove with her boyfriend but she is just the type who doesnt do shallow friendship ...so she cant hv a reali great frienship with a guy just because he is of the opposite sex i dont think the situation would have bn any different if it ws a lady ....she admits she loves the guy but just like how she loves her brothers and no romantic feelings involved

it exists, yup!

i don't really understand dat concept called emotional cheating...but i do understand d concept called LOYALTY, if u dont get d concept, u don't get LIFE. @OP, ur friend needs to ask herself why she think of someone else while she is with anoda. my 1 quid.

Lankaline: i must say am realy impressd wth d comments here,,am facing a similar scenrio and feel i need an advc from yu guys
have been in thz relatnshp for almost a yr nw and she hardly call me on fone,am a graduate while shes a jambite,,,she cn stay 2weeks n not even flash me,,i mk sure i provd everytn she needs n suports her,,but shes has changed,,but still maintains she luvs me,i really luv her n dont intend to stop but m scared she cud b gvn attentn to sumoda n!gga,wen we stated newly,she do call,,but for d past 2months or so,,she has stpd,changed but wen eva i questn her,she maintains she luv me,note:she do recharge her fones,,so pals what do u advc me to do,,,

yessir, what I knw is that "if people r meant to be together, they stay together no matter what!!" Y not try and withdraw from her a bit too, take a break and c if she wuld notice!! Juxt free her for a while and live ur life!! If she loves u, am sure she will definitely get across!!! #myOneCent!!!

Arcasie:

My friend is inlove with her boyfriend but she is just the type who doesnt do shallow friendship ...so she cant hv a reali great frienship with a guy just because he is of the opposite sex i dont think the situation would have bn any different if it ws a lady ....she admits she loves the guy but just like how she loves her brothers and no romantic feelings involved

Yea.......feelings grow. but the most important thing is that do you think the guy knows that she has brotherly love for him?

The correct term is "MONKEY BALLING"
A situation where by a person is holding on to a partner while swinging towards another and also keeping 1 or both parties in the dark.
Monkey balling only has two results
1.the monkey keeps swinging from one end to another until it's tired or
2.the monkey falls to the ground.

Why am I getting the feeling that in the end, this ur friend will say "MEN ARE THE SAME & WICKED"
But I guess is non of my business

ShoryuKen: My mum used to say: "no matter the good behavior of a fox, you don't put a rabbit it it's care, or else, 'one will be bloodied" – the essence of the quote being – some things DON'T mix. I used to tell my girlfriends this, when they talk about a male chum.

Guys will always be on the lookout to dagger, even the most harmless-looking choir boy is dangerous. Lion cubs grow up to smell blood/a meal when they see antelopes; it's not a taught skill, it's innate – it's nature. I don't want no sweet creep coming around my woman, claiming BESTIES; go hunt elsewhere!

Bar-man... This post too make sense.. Give this guy.. One carton of Amstel malta

1one:

Bar-man... This post too make sense.. Give this guy.. One carton of Amstel malta

I give am 1000likes.

@Arcasie, either u or ur friend, whoever is in this situation can avoid unnecessary and future frictions by opening up to the partner if the conscience is clear.The simple question is why is there no emotional link with the first guy as much as d other guy? when foundations of relationships are faulty why wouldn't d rate of divorce increase?