carefreewannabe:

Do you suffer from anxiety disorder?

Do you..says the moniker advocating sympathy and not judging...

carefreewannabe:

A mother and a father lost a child.
It was an accident.

It doesn't help ANYONE to play blame games now. If anyone has the right to do so, then it's her husband.

It's not for us to judge her.

Just imagine being in her situation now. She will have a guilty conscience for the rest of her life. She has lost her family.

This really isn't the time to discuss submission now.
It could have happened to the father, too. Would we then discuss if husbands should listen to their wives? Oh, please!

let's not forget that's accidents can be avoided and if we are calling a spade a spade, let's do it here and now by saying that, the said woman played a part in this unfortunate incident (sounds harsh) but it's the truth.

The death of a child can most certainly happen to anyone but it would be foolish and almost unforgivable to happen as a regards of something one has been forewarned about.

pickabeau1:

Do you..says the moniker advocating sympathy and not judging...

Now you know how to quote me?

Get lost!

freecocoa: let's not forget that's accidents can be avoided and if we are calling a spade a spade, let's do it here and now by saying that, the said woman played a part in this unfortunate incident (sounds harsh) but it's the truth.

The death of a child can most certainly happen to anyone but it would be foolish and almost unforgivable to happen as a regards of something one has been forewarned about.

If we want to continue playing blame games, then let's ask ourselves why the father didn't tell the woman to go but to leave the child with him?

t

carefreewannabe:

Now you know how to quote me?

Get lost!

get lost also...

pickabeau1:


So what if she was going to a church in ajah..and her husband was against it...and there was a similar accident...



Same scenario..different location...what's your take

Thats not the case here now is it? I'll play anyways.

If her husband was against her going to a church at ajah, then I must say she ask him where he would rather she goes and why, then they can take it up from there.

pickabeau1: t
get lost also...

I really have NO problem ignoring you. I have been doing it for a while now, in case you haven't noticed.

So next time you have to say something to me, just call my name instead of sneaking.


Did you talk to me?

"Who knows..."


Ridiculous!

carefreewannabe:

If we want to continue playing blame games, then let's ask ourselves why the father didn't tell the woman to go but to leave the child with him?

Seriously? So it's okay to outrightly ignore the advise/wishes of your partner even when he/she has good intentions?

I don't know how old the kid is so I can't say, plus how do you know he didn't tell her but she refused?

Just how do you think a woman like that would leave the miracle baby, which Btw, is the main reason for going to that church behind?

freecocoa: Thats not the case here now is it? I'll play anyways.

If her husband was against her going to a church at ajah, then I must say she ask him where he would rather she goes and why, then they can take it up from there.

It's just a scenario.......we already agree that accidents can happen anywhere...


Say she asked and he says he doesn't want her to go...a lot of back n forth..family members are calledin..yet she persists in going there...

what's your take

pickabeau1:

It's just a scenario.......we already agree that accidents can happen anywhere...


Say she asked and he says he doesn't want her to go...a lot of back n forth..family members are calledin..yet she persists in going there...

what's your take

He cannot just not want her to go for no reason, especially if she was a church goer before they got married, I'm assuming we are talking of a reasonable/responsible man here.

freecocoa: Seriously? So it's okay to outrightly ignore the advise/wishes of your partner even when he/she has good intentions?

Even a married woman can decide for herself and choose which church she wants to go to. You don'T have to follow EVERY wish / advice of your spouse.

I don't know how old the kid is so I can't say, plus how do you know he didn't tell her but she refused?

We don't know it and we don't know many other things. The story is being told by a third party. This is reason enough to be careful with passing judgements on a woman who has lost her family.

Just how do you think a woman like that would leave the miracle baby, which Btw, is the main reason for going to that church behind?

Do we know it? I didn't. Sorry, if I missed something.

Like I said, I understand the husband but I am not going to pass a sentence on someone who is in such a situation. That's not me.

She is already paying for her mistakes.

carefreewannabe:

I really have NO problem ignoring you. I have been doing it for a while now, in case you haven't noticed.

So next time you have to say something to me, just call my name instead of sneaking.


Did you talk to me?

"Who knows..."


Ridiculous!

Then keep your counsel and keep ignoring....at least ur sympathy will have sounded believable...u can't hide your aggressive instincts
.it must always bubble forth....


Ridiculous...

pickabeau1:

Then keep your counsel and keep ignoring....at least ur sympathy will have sounded believable...u can't hide your aggressive instincts
.it must always bubble forth....


Ridiculous...

I am not even trying to hide them. Not yet noticed?

And I have no compassion for snakes like you.

cococandy:
A guy said this on a different thread


And I was like



His response


I guess he's saying the truth to an extent.

So pls bear with tribaleast.
He gets egopanic attacks every time he hears that a distant woman somwhere is being disobedient. His panic levels increase

according to that post: what do our women want? They want to wear wigs and hair extensions just to look like a white lady. They want men to give them the mantle of leadership when they contribute only little to the development of this world. They want to act like men but when called upon, only a few show up and still make a mess of it(we appreciate the few female soldiers which are the ones men love to rub shoulders with, unlike the lazy bums who want the world on a silver platter). When men put these women in their rightful place, they scream, claiming the men are afraid of losing leadership. When we ask them why we should consider them, they give nothing reasonable other than both sex are equal. Ok, let's clear 2 plots of bushy land and see who finishes first. They throw in the weaker sex card. Ok, let the stronger sex rule. Never! Men don't want to be like women but women of today won't mind killing just to be a man. Men respect and cherish intelligent and creative women but hate lazy bums who can't innovate nor invent but want to be respected like einstein. How can you be allowed to sit at the table of men when you've got nothing to contribute? Equal rights is heavily practiced here in nigeria, but gender equality, No! Why? It's silly! Can a man get pregnant? No! Can a woman impregnate another? No! We are different and beautifully made for each other but not equal. Men are hard-hearted; women are soft, sensitive and emotional. When a man's hard-heartedness is about to lure him to destruction, a woman's softness calms him down. When a woman's softness and emotions are about leading her to destruction, a man's shrewdness and hardness sets her on the right part.

freecocoa: He cannot just not want her to go for no reason, especially if she was a church goer before they got married, I'm assuming we are talking of a reasonable/responsible man here.

Ok..the problem here here is that you can't imagine that this kind of problems occurs so much in middle aged couples where the woman see some pastor or church as a place of reference neglecting her hubby wishes.

Some even go as far as labeling him as a devil who is behind the spiritual issues..

these issues are common...

carefreewannabe:
I am not even trying to hide them. Not yet noticed?
And I have no compassion for snakes like you.

Says the cobra Who must always strike.
Why she does it..she does not even know

Stillfire: Submission ko, sobolation ni. This has nothing to do with submission abeg but the mental IQ of the wife. The woman must be a person of low mental assimilation to not have weighed the consequences and detected the rationale behind her partner informing her of the risks and endangerment she places herself. When they tell you people to marry intelligent wives, una no go gree.

Someone, anyone - I'm interested, why is that when a woman does something wrong the stock responses are

1. It's societies fault for pressuring her or;
2. She must be mad/deranged/psychotic/bi-polar/provoked beyond measure.

But responsibility is never in view? And it's always women, usually avowed feminists? Willing to denigrate other women or throw them to the wolves, rather that to take the responsibility that's twinned with the equality they supposedly demand?

Kindly let me know if there are any "policies" in force that prevent a response to this question!


TV

equality and sameness are entirely two different things.
it's very easy but apparently too hard for some of you to get.







and pls stop hyperventilating. don't you have a headache already?
i just dey feel for you

TribalEAST: according to that post: what do our women want? They want to wear wigs and hair extensions just to look like a white lady. They want men to give them the mantle of leadership when they contribute only little to the development of this world. They want to act like men but when called upon, only a few show up and still make a mess of it(we appreciate the few female soldiers which are the ones men love to rub shoulders with, unlike the lazy bums who want the world on a silver platter). When men put these women in their rightful place, they scream, claiming the men are afraid of losing leadership. When we ask them why we should consider them, they give nothing reasonable other than both sex are equal. Ok, let's clear 2 plots of bushy land and see who finishes first. They throw in the weaker sex card. Ok, let the stronger sex rule. Never! Men don't want to be like women but women of today won't mind killing just to be a man. Men respect and cherish intelligent and creative women but hate lazy bums who can't innovate nor invent but want to be respected like einstein. How can you be allowed to sit at the table of men when you've got nothing to contribute? Equal rights is heavily practiced here in nigeria, but gender equality, No! Why? It's silly! Can a man get pregnant? No! Can a woman impregnate another? No! We are different and beautifully made for each other but not equal. Men are hard-hearted; women are soft, sensitive and emotional. When a man's hard-heartedness is about to lure him to destruction, a woman's softness calms him down. When a woman's softness and emotions are about leading her to destruction, a man's shrewdness and hardness sets her on the right part.

Abeg o..,winners nor get kefty branch for lekki ni??..,they got branches everywia naa to have undertaken such journey every sunday. As for d situation on ground..,I tink d marriage is over already..,But then,the man shuld just lockup nd be there for her till she recovers..,He shuld bear it and ignore d loss/pains and just takia of d wife in dis trying period..,Warefa dt hapens after d recovery tho shuld be handled maturedly by both parties as divorce is written all over dis ish...,Loose/Loose situation sha..,Feel sori for dem!

TribalEAST: yes, it could have happened anywhere but it happened while she was going to where he warned her about going. You see what we keep telling you feminists about lack of submission which has cost the woman her son and her legs? Eve was not submissive to Adam, she ate the fruit without his consent. Adam had every right to abandon her the instance he noticed it but he stupidly played along with her cos he was afraid that God destroying Eve would see him returning to his lonely state forgetting the fact that God who created him from the dust and Eve from him still had the power to create another woman for him. The man in this case can't be blamed for whatever action he takes even if he decides to divorce her(I pray he forgives her though). Such a woman might not have learnt her lesson cos the spirit of stubbornness, gullibility and pastor worship is vested in her as if it was the church's building and not God that gave her the child. Cococandy sambarry andromida bananabender and the rest feminist, una no dey use eye see this kain thread o! Na ignore tinz

This has nothing to do with feminism.

Come to think of it, why didn't she leave the baby at home with his/her daddy?

The husband is probably one of those men that believe taking care of his own child will make him less of a man.

cococandy: equality and sameness are entirely two different things.
it's very easy but apparently too hard for some of you to get.







and pls stop hyperventilating. don't you have a headache already?
i just dey feel for you

do you mean gender equality or equal rights? If it is gender equality, that's trash. If it is equal rights, what is the equality you are fighting for that hasn't been achieved? Abi una no dey go sch and vote again? Pls stop using that line in your last paragraph on me again- it doesn't work cos guys now find it boring. I thought I told you on another thread.

BananaBender:

This has nothing to do with feminism.

Come to think of it, why didn't she leave the baby at home with his/her daddy?

The husband is probably one of those men that believe taking care of his own child will make him less of a man.

look at the angle a feminist is viewing from- she should have left the baby at home with the man and still go ahead with her stubbornness. Looking for a way to blame the man/men. Mtchew! Well, that would have been better cos the man would still have his son alive and can marry someone else cos his stubborn wife his becoming crippled

carefreewannabe:

Even a married woman can decide for herself and choose which church she wants to go to. You don'T have to follow EVERY wish / advice of your spouse.



We don't know it and we don't know many other things. The story is being told by a third party. This is reason enough to be careful with passing judgements on a woman who has lost her family.



Do we know it? I didn't. Sorry, if I missed something.

Like I said, I understand the husband but I am not going to pass a sentence on someone who is in such a situation. That's not me.

She is already paying for her mistakes.

So now people can get to do whatever the want in a relationship/marriage regardless of how it affects their partners, okay.

alutacontinua:
As per your first paragraph, I totally agree!

Let me get this right; first you write an epistle, then you agree with me. I'm feeling faint - need to lie down !

alutacontinua:
However, how many churches out there today are actually a body of TRUE BELIEVERS?

And your point is? Does God not lead? How many does it take?

alutacontinua:
And no, if what I see on a Sunday does not point towards the fact that the elder lives a Christian life, why do I have to wait to watch what happens on weekdays? From the message of most elders, you can certainly deduce that you've missed road. Not to mention other things in a church that just totally makes you to know it's not the place to be.

Again, you are reading me backwards. The life and the preaching are not just in the weekly message, it's daily and experiential.

alutacontinua:
Agreed!

Please stop !

alutacontinua:
As per the woman in op's story, I cannot really say, as Winners church, I believe is all over the country. However, I hope the real gospel of Christ does not get that scarce but if it does and I have to drive 6 hours to get spiritual nourishment, I'll gladly do it! People drive 6 hours every week cos of work, no?

Spiritual nourishment? I can see we have shall we say, different perspectives. But even taking your point, someone mentioned we are in the digital age no?

alutacontinua:
As I said earlier on, spiritual immaturity!
Which also has a place in Christianity. There would always be newborn babes in Christ.....does not make them bad, it means they are immature. Even in the Corinthian Church, some people preferred Paul, others Apollos! This was a church Apostle Paul established himself! Paul only had to correct their mindset, not criticize them!

And pray tell, what did Paul say to them about venerating men?
And it was the church at Corinth - a congregation of Corinthians - not "travellers to fellowship" from Colosse !
And I'm simply seeing I don't see that narrative in scripture. Do I know them to criticize them? The outworkings are clear for all to see - and I don;t mean this particular instance - but this type of "church".

alutacontinua:
A few years ago, one of my uncles was transferred from his church branch to another branch as a Pastor. There was a particular woman in that church who was his convert that decided to also move to his new church with him (even though it meant more distance, and of course, money). All efforts to convince her otherwise proved abortive, she actually told him if she doesn't follow him, she'll stop coming altogether. Apparently, at that point, he left her alone and she actually did start attending his new branch. Fastforward almost 10 years later and this woman does not even belong to his denominatiom again, and yes, she's still in the faith (I believe). I'm sure if she even remembers now, she'll prolly laugh at her ignorance then.

Story. That attitude comes from what people are taught. What those kind of churches model, with concepts like spiritual daddy, MOG authority, being fed and the like being taken to extremes - not that they are necessarily right in the first instance.

The Ethiopian whop Phillip preached to. The first in his country. Did he return to where he met Philip or to sit at Philips feet every week to be spiritually fed? Yet the Church in Ethoipia grew from that un-followed up convert? This discussion pains me.

alutacontinua:
My point? Such acts of clinging towards sentiments are acts of ignorance and immaturity, something about behaving like a child when you are a child, not reasons enough to criticize such people. It is almost natural for a woman to believe the person who gave her the miracle of a child after many years of trying and maybe places is her closest link to God. It takes maturity to get rid of such sentiment.

I believe I've answered this with the above

alutacontinua:
I AGREE!

Maybe, but I not sure it's for the same reasons.

May God be with us all.


TV

BananaBender:

This has nothing to do with feminism.

Come to think of it, why didn't she leave the baby at home with his/her daddy?

The husband is probably one of those men that believe taking care of his own child will make him less of a man.

what does he know about diapers changing? Ok, that's cheap. What does he know about breast feeding a child when he's hungry? Ok he should chest feed! Maybe he should as well consider carrying the next pregnancy. You feminists just don't want to admit that we are built for different purposes.

pickabeau1:

Ok..the problem here here is that you can't imagine that this kind of problems occurs so much in middle aged couples where the woman see some pastor or church as a place of reference neglecting her hubby wishes.

Some even go as far as labeling him as a devil who is behind the spiritual issues..

these issues are common...

In this post you gave a reason(she sees the church/pastor as a place of reference ignoring her husband's wishes)this is a reason atleast to the hubby, he feels ignored so he wants her to quit the church, they can talk about it and reach a solution.

In the other post, you gave no reason.

freecocoa: In this post you gave a reason(she sees the church/pastor as a place of reference ignoring her husband's wishes)this is a reason atleast to the hubby, he feels ignored so he wants her to quit the church, they can talk about it and reach a solution.

In the other post, you gave no reason.

I felt the same reason sufficed...


You've not answered my q on how some women can take this spirituality thing far

Some have been known to call their husband spiritual blockers or hindrance to prayers

pickabeau1:

I felt the same reason sufficed...


You've not answered my q on how some women can take this spirituality thing far

Some have been known to call their husband spiritual blockers or hindrance to prayers

I'm not really a religious person so trust me when I say, it's best you don't ask my opinion on such.

alutacontinua:

I disagree!
There are churches and there are CHURCHES! I'll rather stay at home than go to a church I ain't comfortable with. If I have to travel miles to feel alive in a church, then, SO BE IT!

Few months ago, I had to travel down to Nigeria and a few other places, I just couldn't deal with all the churches I attended throughout those months. There was a particular Sunday I was this close to going back home mid-service, and this was even the same denomination with my church!

Sometimes, it takes the good girl (scratch that, boy) in me to not start criticizing and analyzing some Pastors while they're preaching, I definitely won't go back to such a place.

Baba Adeboye of Reedem will tell you they are bringing the church closer to you. The church will be closer to you so you don't have any excuse.

For me, the distance is too much, from lagos state to ogun state. Common sense should even tell the woman is not right, you can go for their monthly programme or conventions.
Are there no winners church closer or in lagos state again.

For me, the man will still need to forgive the wife, the man is just hurt and who won't, apart from the fact that the woman was stubborn headed, that baby took them 5 yrs to have, they are not getting any younger.

Forgive and forget, though the scar will be there for life. He still need to forgive.

freecocoa: I'm not really a religious person so trust me when I say, it's best you don't ask my opinion on such.

OK.

Fair enough... As I said earlier..we r seeing this issue from different angles.

damiso:


I am not too sure of winners structure(so don't know if they have branches) but some people have a branch of their denomination or church in their neighbourhood but insist on going to their HQ just because they must listen to the GO every Sunday.I know someone personally who lived in Ogba and had a branch of MFM on their street but still travelled to Onike every Sunday and Wednesday for service.

They have branches, and what's the problem with with us Christians, which one is winners, redeem, baptist, catholic...no wonder Christianity is not moving forward.
Tell me a verse in the bible that Jesus made mention of a denomination or what can I call it?
So the God of winners is diff from God of Christ Life Church

Nashville:

I agree with the bolded. It was an accident and it could have happened at anytime. The wife is also grieving and the man should be thankful that his wife did not die as well. If she had died, is he saying he wouldn't even care? I am sure he would; so there is always something to thank God for. I am sure the woman has learnt a hard lesson.

The lesson is that marriage is not a power tussle and God is everywhere. I hate apportioning blame but in this case, the woman should have found a closer church just because her husband was strongly against her travelling to Ota. I don't think that was too hard to do. They didnt need to go through what they are going through now, if you ask me.

So the God she worship only exist at Ota? And can't be found in all other churches in lagos state.

carefreewannabe:

A mother and a father lost a child.
It was an accident.

It doesn't help ANYONE to play blame games now. If anyone has the right to do so, then it's her husband.

It's not for us to judge her.

Just imagine being in her situation now. She will have a guilty conscience for the rest of her life. She has lost her family.

This really isn't the time to discuss submission now.
It could have happened to the father, too. Would we then discuss if husbands should listen to their wives? Oh, please!

I don't know this couple, I probably never will. No amount of sorries from me will they hear nor will said sorries restore their losses. What my post could achieve though is correct one pastor-worshipping spouse and probably set them on the path of common sense and marital harmony. There are women on here going against their husbands pleas and advice who might not end up losing their children or limbs but their husband's affection. Let's be objective. If she had submitted to her spouses authority over her the loss would have been easier to bear. Good luck to her flushing resentment out of his heart. Whether we like it or not, he's going to directly link the loss of his child to her disobedience. Hopefully, someone else would learn.