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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive (7538 Views)
The Law, The Husband, The Wife Or The Man, Who Is To Blame For This? (snapshots) / Am I Being Insensitive? / Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 11:34pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
bukatyne:I totally agree. Most people worship GO now |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by bennyrazz: 11:37pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
the man is grieving in his own way, thus the strong head. As it is now, I don't think he would accept any apologies o. Women are very very stubborn, their hearts are like little children. Even his wife must be filled with regrets now, the man even went to the extent of calling for family meeting. The deed as been done, @op, I think you all need to give the man some time to forget about the whole incident. For now he's not himself . |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 11:37pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
beeevan: The man is right on this one, the husband's suggestion to attend a church closer to home was very reasonable, yet she chose to be stiff headed. Now the unexpected has happened, the man should play it any way he deems fit.One time that I will agree with you, hope to see more comments like this from that side of the brain where it came from. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 11:43pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
bukatyne:What if the husband is a Muslim, must everybody be a church goer? |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 11:45pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
Stillfire: Submission ko, sobolation ni. This has nothing to do with submission abeg but the mental IQ of the wife. The woman must be a person of low mental assimilation to not have weighed the consequences and detected the rationale behind her partner informing her of the risks and endangerment she places herself. When they tell you people to marry intelligent wives, una no go gree.I agree. 1 Like |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 11:51pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
alutacontinua:Where two or more gather in my name, I am with them. Church is who we are and not where we are, not shiloh, not redemption camp etc. It is who we are. Shiloh was once a bush b4. Travelling 6hrs to meet GOD every Sunday is nonsense, how do u attend weekly meetings, how do u go for word hunt(like Sunday school) during weekdays, how do u meet up with workers meeting/prayers every Sunday morning? God have mercy! |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 11:55pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:And what if the child is less than 4months? How do u keep such child with the father? Then don't forget that the excuse she gave for going was becos she got the child after 5 yrs through the church. Her faith was limited, What she didint know is that it is God that gave the child not Winners or Oyedepo! |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 11:58pm On Sep 29, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: Never, I can't go to a church and my wife will tell me she's going to another...all these small small issues would be sorted out b4 marriage o. I don't take such for granted. Ni no lo tin bo? |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 12:01am On Sep 30, 2014 |
I find it ridiculous that anyone could advocate the wife leaving the baby with her husband. This feminism thing is out of hand. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Bigsteveg(m): 12:04am On Sep 30, 2014 |
BananaBender:Even ur name (banana) sef shows u reason like a monkey. The reason the woman was travelling that far is becos of the child, she claimed she got the child after she joined Winner's chapel, dats y she can't leave. So how do u tell such woman to leave her child behind. And perhaps, what if d child is like 2/3 weeks nko? "Leaving the baby for the man' u no wan do anything again. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 1:08am On Sep 30, 2014 |
I am a adamant feminist, so I will respond with that in mind. If you are in a marriage, there are 2 partners, each is entitled to their own opinions and decisions are based on mutual agreement. In this case, it's clear that the wife didn't put the husbands feelings into consideration. Remember, feminism means equality for all. That means that everyone has a right to voice their feelings, opinions and concerns. The husband simply wanted to keep his child nearby, especially as a newborn. Now I live in Canada, and our roads are I'll ponder as at least 200% safer than in Nigeria, Lagos to boot. And when my babies were born, I moved churches. Why? well 1) a church service is long enough for a newborn, but now I need to factor in travel. If there was an emergency I need to be reached in 15-20 minutes or less. 2) my neighborhood is safe, so why not protect my child. So if a mother in Canada, a safe safe place can think wisely, why not a mother half way across the world at least put the child into consideration. About the man, he may or may not choose to take the wife back, but he also needs to learn the healing power of forgiveness. Not just for him, but also for his wife. Sometimes the body holds on to sickness due to heartbreak and guilt. If he doesn't forgive her, the ball of rot that developing in his heart may grow to the point that he will never be able to be in a positive relationship again. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by DukeNija(m): 2:12am On Sep 30, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: This accident could have happened anywhere. Women! Women! Women!!! When will you ever be rational and unbiased? |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by segebobo: 4:24am On Sep 30, 2014 |
The woman shd have talked it out with the husband and make him understand why she needs to keep going to Ota. Who knows, she might convince him to go with her. The man however shouldn't have abandoned her at this period. 1 Like |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 6:25am On Sep 30, 2014 |
TribalEAST: what does he know about diapers changing? Ok, that's cheap. What does he know about breast feeding a child when he's hungry? Ok he should chest feed! Maybe he should as well consider carrying the next pregnancy. You feminists just don't want to admit that we are built for different purposes. I don't know why this is strange to you but she could squeeze breast milk into the baby feeding bottles. B*reast milk can be refrigerated; all he had to do is warm it up when the baby feels hungry. This is a common practice. LMAO! Women are built for changing diapers?? Bwahahahaha |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 6:52am On Sep 30, 2014 |
DukeNija: What was biased about my comment? 2 Likes |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 6:52am On Sep 30, 2014 |
Bigsteveg: Good. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 6:54am On Sep 30, 2014 |
Bigsteveg: No need to discuss this matter further. I haven't said that going with an infant to another state every Sunday was right, neither have I blamed the husband. I just said that the woman suffers enough now. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 6:55am On Sep 30, 2014 |
freshdude2: I don't know this couple, I probably never will. No amount of sorries from me will they hear nor will said sorries restore their losses. What my post could achieve though is correct one pastor-worshipping spouse and probably set them on the path of common sense and marital harmony. There are women on here going against their husbands pleas and advice who might not end up losing their children or limbs but their husband's affection. Let's be objective. If she had submitted to her spouses authority over her the loss would have been easier to bear. Good luck to her flushing resentment out of his heart. Whether we like it or not, he's going to directly link the loss of his child to her disobedience. Hopefully, someone else would learn. Next time, a husband is disobedient and something happens, tell him the same. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 6:55am On Sep 30, 2014 |
freecocoa: So now people can get to do whatever the want in a relationship/marriage regardless of how it affects their partners, okay. Did I say so? |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 6:57am On Sep 30, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: Haba! Are you expecting a man to obey his wife?? That's disrespectful to him, women can't tell men what to do |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:02am On Sep 30, 2014 |
BananaBender: I logged in on this beautiful morning and hoped to read nice comments but instead I found myself taken back to the Middle Ages. I don't blame them. It's pure psychology. They need to put their girls down to feel better. This is what happens when men have no other achievements. Good morning. Good you were here right now. I was about to commit online murder. 1 Like |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:29am On Sep 30, 2014 |
The man is grieving plus a lot of other emotions going through him He is probably blaming himself to that he wasnt "man" enough to run his own home Many people will blame him o! Many people with big mouths will ask him "oga how you come let this happen . . na your wife be the husband abi na you?" He needs time. People are feeling sorry for the woman, but the man is going through a lot too. We dont even know the cause of the delay and what they had to do to get this one child. Maybe he had a low spperm count, so you can imagine his anguish. If there was a meter to read hurt; I am sure both parents are hurting the same way So rather than chastise him and "force" him to accept his wife back, the wise elders should go to him and talk to him as wise elders do and appeal to him. He needs to fully want her back from the bottom of his heart than for people to force her back on him when he is not ready or that woman will live a very unhappy life with him for the forseeable future. As for church issue. Its people I feel sorry for. People who worship church building, daddy and mummy. I also dont know what some people are teaching/being taught in some churches too. I dont know what prayer and dancing you are doing if you wont submit to your OWN husband. Did she even have time to cook for the man before leaving home? By the time she gets back she would have been really tired, and probably forgotten all she learnt in Church that day Its a very sad story. Tragicly a baby lost his life. This is a very big thing to cope with and I really feel sorry for them 2 of them. It is well. 7 Likes |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:30am On Sep 30, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: 1 Like |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:42am On Sep 30, 2014 |
BananaBender:all because she wants to go worship david oyedepo. It's now a confirmed thing that you feminists have negatively skewed brain. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:43am On Sep 30, 2014 |
TribalEAST: all because she wants to go worship david oyedepo. It's now a confirmed thing that you feminists have negatively skewed brain. At least they don't think that a |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:51am On Sep 30, 2014 |
TribalEAST: all because she wants to go worship david oyedepo. It's now a confirmed thing that you feminists have negatively skewed brain.I have no business concerning myself with the pastor or her church of choice. Most Christians feel strongly connected with their home church, especially if it is where they got saved. If the husband couldn't change her mind about taking such risk every Sunday, he could have offered alternatives. Mothers could be distracted by a crying baby while driving. If he cared about his wife and child's safety, taking care of his child on Sundays, would not be a problem. Squeezing breast milk isn't rocket science, we have pump for that. It's not a big deal. Are you saying a mother should not go out while her baby is still an infant? If she was going to a party, can't she leave the baby with his/her father? Get your life, you're yet to make any sense. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:52am On Sep 30, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:let's even try to agree with you that men put down their lady to feel better. Look at what happened to a man that failed to put his lady down: he lost an only child and has a crippled stubborn wife to cope with. You feminist think you are always right but end up being the losers. The man can decide to divorce and get married to someone else. Who can blame him? Who would want to marry a divorced woman here in africa especially when she can't walk straight, knowing fully well about her past? Ok, she'll keep it from suitors, right? That'll be the beginning of her going down the drain. You see where stubbornness and lack of submission can lead a woman. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 7:54am On Sep 30, 2014 |
TribalEAST: let's even try to agree with you that men put down their lady to feel better. Look at what happened to a man that failed to put his lady down: he lost an only child and has a crippled stubborn wife to cope with. You feminist think you are always right but end up being the losers. The man can decide to divorce and get married to someone else. Who can blame him? Who would want to marry a divorced woman here in africa especially when she can't walk straight, knowing fully well about her past? Ok, she'll keep it from suitors, right? That'll be the beginning of her going down the drain. You see where stubbornness and lack of submission can lead a woman. Do you know how many families ended up miserable because men made selfish decisions? And for the women who may face problems after a divorce, how is it your problem? Take care of your own problems. |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by blueberryp: 7:57am On Sep 30, 2014 |
Acidosis:lmao at the last line This didn't happen because she married an unbeliever rather it was because she refused to apply wisdom. The husband was right in this case, he wasn't stopping her from worshipping with her church, he only wanted something closer home probably because of the baby but she couldnt open her eyes to reason. May God see her thru dis trying times |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Nobody: 8:05am On Sep 30, 2014 |
BananaBender:I also don't care which pastor she worships, but for her to travel to another state weekly for worship when that same church has branches littered close to her home is something I find crazy BananaBender:yeah, I know that, but why would you leave your baby at home with the father who isn't built for such task just cos you want to travel to another state to worship oyedepo? The baby was in the mother's womb; connection with her started from there. The mother is the only one that can understand the baby's feelings better. BananaBender:now I know you are not only a feminist but also a heartless person. You mean you'll actually leave you infant at home just cos you want to go and party with thesame set of people that'll hardly commiserate with you if you lose such a child? Why do you think they give maternity leave? Is it not for a woman to have full time for a child in the safety of their home? A woman like you will simply party away with the time. Perhaps you should suggest to your husband to be the one to carry the pregnancy cos you don't want to task yourself with anything but partying BananaBender:look who's talking |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Acidosis(m): 8:22am On Sep 30, 2014 |
blueberryp: lmao at the last lineYea you're right |
Re: Was The Woman Wrong Or Is The Man Being Overly Insensitive by Acidosis(m): 8:24am On Sep 30, 2014 |
Bigsteveg:When a muslim marries a christian, conflict would always occur |
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