~Sauron~:

Thonia. . . . .Where have u been?

I've been around, though i log on once in a while to just read but but not actively posting. How have you been?

ThoniaSlim:

I've been around, though i log on once in a while to just read but but not actively posting. How have you been?

Crisp. . . . .U just disappeared.
This is Jackal tho(in case u are wondering).

Lol, you peeps change names like babies change diapers these days.

I didn't really disappear i just became so busy with school stuff and the rest. But am a bit free now, also getting ready to go back to naija for the hols, am so excited.

i dont beleive u. this is just another case

of trying to make the nigerian man look bad

nigerian men are very caring pple and wld not

hit a woman, not to talk of a pregnant one.


@thoniaslim.

coming home? hmmmmmmmmm

what u have planned for vacation

or u go let big daddy make your

stay memorable, whatcha thing?

It's so in some part of Naija.

Sorry Smooth it is true,

revoke it. He obviously doesnt care for the kid hence the punching

Let him go back to where he belongs because seriously instead of feeling remorseful, someone like that will most likely come back and try to kill you.

Revoke his visa and move on with your life with your kids.

Sad to hear that a man punched his wife (pregnant or not) but oyinbo men also do it.

However, if you married a man who punches, you need to examine yourself. perhaps your sense of judgement is unreliable otherwise you'd not have ended up with a man who does not care about hitting a woman.

It seems women on nairaland are devoid of a good sense of judgement because most of them always end up with thugs, low-lives, etc. There are very few women on nairaland who have consistently good things to say about men.

i'll remember to always warn any young man I see never to date any girl who's been a naiaraland regular

@poster, unfortunately, most men who hit women never stop.

Make sure you examine what you look for in a man before you date any other man

feel sorry for you

you need a marriage counsellor

JustGood:

Sad to hear that a man punched his wife (pregnant or not) but oyinbo men also do it.

However, if you married a man who punches, you need to examine yourself. perhaps your sense of judgement is unreliable otherwise you'd not have ended up with a man who does not care about hitting a woman.

It seems women on nairaland are devoid of a good sense of judgement because most of them always end up with thugs, low-lives, etc. There are very few women on nairaland who have consistently good things to say about men.

i'll remember to always warn any young man I see never to date any girl who's been a naiaraland regular

@poster, unfortunately, most men who hit women never stop.

Make sure you examine what you look for in a man before you date any other man

You make very salient points.

He never off.

bridget007:

He never punched before marriage, this was first and last time, what scared me more was as I lay on floor in shock gasping for air he told me very calmly next time he would kill me. He will never get the chance for another time, I am withdrawing my spousal support and he can go back to Nigeria when his visa is revoked. His family is welcome to come and visit and see our son, he can have contact via a webcam over the internet with his son

Good idea. He'll think twice next time before laying his hands on anyone.

I wish you luck and focus on your kids.

bridget007:

He never punched before marriage, this was first and last time, what scared me more was as I lay on floor in shock gasping for air he told me very calmly next time he would kill me. He will never get the chance for another time, I am withdrawing my spousal support and he can go back to Nigeria when his visa is revoked. His family is welcome to come and visit and see our son, he can have contact via a webcam over the internet with his son and see him grow up and know his son knows who he is (if he wants) but from the safety of thousands of air miles away, where he cannot lay his fists on me ever again.

I am also not bashing all nigerian men I am sure there are some good men out there, oyinbo men can be just as terrible as can any other ethnic group. I'm afraid I will never date a nigerian again though as I have never ever been treated so disgustingly by any other man and he was the only nigerian man I dated, sad but has put me off.

Good decision bolded. i hope you advise all your other oyinbo friends to stay with their kind.
Good luck

.

bridget007:

He never punched before marriage, this was first and last time, what scared me more was as I lay on floor in shock gasping for air he told me very calmly next time he would kill me. He will never get the chance for another time, I am withdrawing my spousal support and he can go back to Nigeria when his visa is revoked. His family is welcome to come and visit and see our son, he can have contact via a webcam over the internet with his son and see him grow up and know his son knows who he is (if he wants) but from the safety of thousands of air miles away, where he cannot lay his fists on me ever again.

I am also not bashing all nigerian men I am sure there are some good men out there, oyinbo men can be just as terrible as can any other ethnic group. I'm afraid I will never date a nigerian again though as I have never ever been treated so disgustingly by any other man and he was the only nigerian man I dated, sad but has put me off.

bye bye and good riddance. For a supposed mother you certainly spend way too much time on the internet.

I watch Investigative Discovery daily and i see white American men murder their wives every time . . . hasnt put you off dating white British or American men yet has it?

Hypocrites. Exercise better judgement next time in the type of men you date.

davidylan:

bye bye and good riddance.

as my pastor would fondly say - good riddance to bad rubbish

. . . and another fatherless son is welcomed into the world . . . and they'd be surprised that he too hits his own wife.

The world has gone mad.

go back to the father of your girls. he could be better

davidylan:

. . . and another fatherless son is welcomed into the world . . . and they'd be surprised that he too hits his own wife.

The world has gone mad.

BRO DAVID, YOU SHOULD COLLECT LITTLE OFFERING FOR THIS?  YOU WONDER WHAT THE MOTHER OF THESE MONSTERS DID TO RAISE UP FOOLS LIKE THIS

@David, exactly.

They chose the wrong men. Thyey chose men based on the jewelry on the men. they chose men based on the height of the men. they chose men based on the muscles on their bodies. they chose men based on the car they drive. they chose men that their friends have dated. . .never interested in the substance of the men.

They chose men who they know are completely different from them but they stupidly believe that the fickle thing called love will see them through. It never does and they end up with children who dont grow up with their dads and who have no clue what life and marriage is about.
Some of them end up gun-totting in ghettos and the streets of london

JJYOU:

go back to the father of your girls. he could be better BRO DAVID, YOU SHOULD COLLECT LITTLE OFFERING FOR THIS? YOU WONDER WHAT THE MOTHER OF THESE MONSTERS DID TO RAISE UP FOOLS LIKE THIS

do you not wonder if a woman has any brains for falling for these kind of monsters as well?

I've seen their types so many times before . . . they have sex with a man and call it "love".

You marry a loafer with no money, no job, failing his exams all the time . . . and u're surprised he hit you? I dont even know whether to laugh or cry for you. If you were my cousin i wont even listen to you if he used a hammer to pound your empty head.

@justgood
Keep making sense
They marry thugs and later blame it on men generally.

davidylan:

. . . and another fatherless son is welcomed into the world . . . and they'd be surprised that he too hits his own wife.

The world has gone mad.

why are you so freaky angry? Gosh you become so unbelievably CREEPY when it comes to things like this. Seriously, it's terrifying.

Should she stay with him til he kills her? Seriously, that better in your eyes? all in the name of not being a single mother? better for the kids to be orphans? what gets into you when it comes to topics like this?

Yea she said that his behavior turned her off Naija men? So? why do you care? There are quite a number of dudes who have said that "Naija chicks and their money grubbing" nature have turned them off  which is why they now only date asians/carribeans, etc yet you are NEVER there when such bullshit is said.

How many times have you agreed with guys saying they rather be with jamos and stuff cos supposedly ALL naija women lay like fish in bed? Would you like for me to quote you cos I can

The girl is obviously shaken up and angry and saying whatever, how can you be so malicious in looking down on her cos you are bothered by the way some of us replied her situation. If you have a problem with our replies, direct it towards us and not her. You keep saying "what about white people". What does white people have to do with this? Who doesnt know that most of them are sociopathic murderers? However this thread is NOT about them

She's a horrible person cos she doesnt wanna die? She doesnt wanna stay with someone who could have caused a miscarriage for her? So she's disgusting in your eyes? Better calm down and quit freaking people out with your creepy outbursts.

To those yarning dust that people willing get themselves into situations like this

while some people purposely ignore warning signs, there's a reason that in Naija, MOST TRIBES have "Iwadi" which is the parents do a deep search on the person you are about to marry

You think if you could only go by little things/face value, such a tradition would exist? Some people are such sociopaths that you'd never know the kind of danger you're in til they snap. Women are also very guilty of this.

Dont know why some of you are acting like such a thing is impossible. Also she stated that his behavior was nothing like this before they married and this was the first time he ever even hit her so what is the problem?

Cant accept the fact that it's a Naija dude that you just rather dump it entirely on her head?

KarmaMod:

why are you so freaky angry? Gosh you become so unbelievably CREEPY when it comes to things like this. Seriously, it's terrifying.

Should she stay with him til he kills her? Seriously, that better in your eyes? all in the name of not being a single mother? better for the kids to be orphans? what gets into you when it comes to topics like this?

As usual you miss the point by a mile . . . if you read my very first post here before trolls invaded it and turned it into another "bash nigerian men part 986" - you shouldnt let him back into your life if you value it.

Its obvious that i expected she shld have gotten rid of the miscreant.

KarmaMod:

Yea she said that his behavior turned her off Naija men? So? why do you care? There are quite a number of dudes who have said that "Naija chicks and their money grubbing" nature have turned them off  which is why they now only date asians/carribeans, etc yet you are NEVER there when such bullshit is said.

Turn it around, if this were an British man saying the same thing about nigerian women you'd be up in arms too.

KarmaMod:

The girl is obviously shaken up and angry and saying whatever, how can you be so malicious in looking down on her because you are bothered by the way some of us replied her situation. If you have a problem with our replies, direct it towards us and not her. You keep saying "what about white people". What does white people have to do with this? Who doesnt know that most of them are sociopathic murderers? However this thread is NOT about them

She's a horrible person because she doesnt want to die? She doesnt want to stay with someone who could have caused a miscarriage for her? So she's disgusting in your eyes? Better calm down and quit freaking people out with your creepy outbursts.

That is not the point at all . . . point is simple - was she sleeping when she married an obvious criminal? Why is she complaining now?

Would YOU marry a dude with no job, no money, a school failure with no regard for women? If so then i'd like to quit school and apply to you.

. if you read my very first post here before trolls invaded it and turned it into another "bash nigerian men part 986" - you shouldnt let him back into your life if you value it.

You took it back, did you not?

and if you indeed you stand by it, why mention her now being a single mother unless you are implying that she's better off staying with the brute?

There are always 2 sides to a coin . . . we cant keep crying for Bridget till next yr. Flip the coin . . . open your eyes next time, that dude with blings but no job is perhaps not the best material for a husband.

KarmaMod:

You took it back, did you not?

and if you indeed you stand by it, why mention her now being a single mother unless you are implying that she's better off staying with the brute?

- yes i took it back because on looking at the issue more closely i realised she brought it on herself.

- I mention her being a single mother not because i expect her to go back to the dude but to raise the point that "parents" (obviously that word has lost its value now as every idiot with a sex organ can now be called one) have a serious duty to take stock of so many factors before bringing an innocent soul into the world.

- Sex is not love.

@karma      

I am very sure you will not get yourself into such a situation.

No sane woman should marry a man without knowing him inside out. Men can be devious (same goes for women). A man can pretend to be anything until the woman gets into his hands. you said it that Naija tribes do Iwadi. I take it that is something like a search to know the person behind the face and facade - now, if that is true, why are stupid girls marrying boys who are layabouts without even knowing their backgrounds?

Why would a girl marry a guy that she doesn't even know where he's from? Why would a girl marry and have a child for a guy whose family she knows not and whose background she knows not? how does she know that the guy was not some serial rapist before appearing in her life?

Karma, seriously, would you fall into the hands of a man like that?

the fact that she stated that his behavious was not like that before shows that she knew nothing about him before marrying him.

It reminds me of people who advise lovers to marry agaisnt their parents wishes. this is what happens to such people as well. Most guys from good homes will never go against their parents wishes so the woman can be assured that if the man misbehaves, she only needs to report to his mum.

There are little things that some girls take for granted and those things haunt them for long periods. . . same for guys

Hitting a woman no matter what she did is never a sign of Love. Women misbehave and make us guys mad at times but hitting any woman is an act of cowardice and a beastly act. Leave the house, Take a drink, Club with friends, Get Drunk if you have to but never ever hit a woman cos no matter what anyone says you don't hit smeone you Truly Love.

Well my husband punched me in the back of the head tonight! He has been emotionally and mentally abusive to me since getting pregnant with our son and since getting married he has not contributed financially, called me names and hardly shows me affection. I am UK white and he nigerian. He punched me and knocked me down to the ground, that was it, I had enough of the abuse, when it becomes hitting he's gone. I called the police and he is in a cell overnight and is not allowed now near me or his son whilst things are sorted. I have always loved him, 2 days ago he called me his angel for bailing him out of shit, running around paying his fines etc and I know I don't deserve this. I feel awful but when a man hits its over, don't u agree?

You shouldn't even have to ask this question. Do not look back.

@ topic

Women and their drama! Like they didn't know before getting married to the Nigerian guy!