THE BEST TRAP A WOMAN CAN USE FOR A MAN IS SEX.

IT IS NOT TO LET HIM TOUCH HER UNTIL HE PUTS A RING ON HER FINGER,

THIS IS USUALLY THE BEST INCENTIVE FOR A MAN TO MARRY A WOMAN.



TODAY'S RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGES ARE IN JEORPADY CAUSE PEOPLE HAVE EITHER HAD IT
BEFORE MARRIAGE OR TOO SOON IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

THEN AFTER THAT IT DISENTIGRATES INTO A GAME OF "TOLERATE ME" CAUSE UNDERSTANBLY
A MAN HAS TASTED YOU AND HAS NO USE FOR YOU NO MORE, HE NEEDS FRESH MEAT.

ITS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MATTER WHEN HE "CATCHES" YOU IN MARRIAGE.


REAL LOVE PLAYS NO GAMES. BUSY YOU ARE NOW ASKING THIS WOMAN TO TOLERATE AND TOLERATE
WASTE HER EMMOTIONAL STRENGTH ON CRYING BECAUSE THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME SHE CAUGHT
YOU WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

I SAY WHY?

marriage is not a bed of roses

its a school without graduation,a school u will attend till forever

ile-iwe ni marriage

if its a commitment for life, really there should be no rush entering it.

GUYS GUYS GUYS, pls i dont want anyone of u to quarrel over my problem. All i need is advice and a way out of this mess. Let me correct the impression that Karma said that i do it on purpose and thank God not all girls will accept my nonsense, that is why i go for a lady who will reason "beyond doubt" If u know me very well i cant and i mean never hurt anyone on purpose. Am over 30yrs and i command alot of respect in my family and people around me.

Sista, i came here for solutions, and not to remind me that i woke up beside a lady with a smile, did i do that too on purpose, And who say i did not REGRET THIS?? am just trying to be strong.
Ebony, pls dont ever call me a cheater, AM NOT one, it happens to me could happen to u and anyone so please stick to the issue and not name calling. thank u

Take it easy on me, its not that my fiance helps me to make all my money or build my empire on her own effort for me HELL NO, but i felt since we have been together for long i should not for any reason betray her but read my words very well, I NEVER SLEPT WITH THIS LADY WITH MY FULL INTENT! Let me also say that we both know what is at stakes so we need to HOLD ON to each other VERY TIGHT, But if she decide to go so be it i will go on with my life and she will too. will marry someone else but never the devil. However, i know God is a merciful God and he will prevail in our life.
I have to say the truth here no matter what , this is people's parliament, truth they say will set me FREE.
So pls let concentrate on the issue. By Monday, i will inform you guys what happen during the weekend, but just that i did not have all the strength to tell her. I have change the sitting room and make it look nice, have done all i could at this moment, am only hoping and look to God for favour and forgiveness, BELIEVE ME, IT IS NEVER DONE ON PURPOSE

I feel your pain brother! 4 real, i do. This kind of thing had
happened to a very close pal of mine before. She left the guy
because of it. But dont worry i dont wish you same, i'll put you in
prayers. just take things easy, ok.

Hey real-deep-low,


you keep postponing when u gon tell her. why so long man. all i hope is that the preggie one doesnt beat you to it.


and remembers what i say:

*i have suspicion about baby being yours so do DNA
*i have suspicion even just about her being preggie in the 1st place.

DID YOU CHECK SHE ACTUALLY PREG?

dont wait too long man.

That intruder in question is a show-stopper! I pray she
doesn't succeed with her plans to ruin all what you've built
with your fiance all these years. I pray God to be your strenght
in this trying times of your life!

you know deeplo"

it all depends if ur not the cheating type then it can be easy to forgive.

only thing is that your timing for an action of this magnitude was sooo "perfect"

these things happen in relationships but when you do it at the wrong time -

@ Post;
my candid advice: Go for a DNA test first,
then you can be sure where you stand in this case!

@sistawoman,
what in my post suggested I want my wife to cheat? Maybe you didn't digest it very well. At any rate, I am tell the guy the home truth. Somehow we tend to shy away from the reality and get emotional.

Look, in real life, I have had a cheating partner and a defector! I have also have a encounters with temptress who was bent on seducing me. I was frank with the last one because she is from good home. I let her played her game. She was near naked begging me to have her. This is what I did. A real life story.:

i asked her what is the trait I have that made me her object of obsession? And she roled out the list. I listened to her while I kept respectable distance from her naked body. Letting her come nearer means letter her get at me. At any rate, keeping her talking like that made me felt as though I was watching a naked mad woman! That kept me focus.

Then I lied to her that someone is pregnant for me. Guess what she said? She said "it doesn't matter!"

i asked her what she will do if she did it and got pregnant, she said "she will bear the baby and bla blah blah". I asked her what if she were to be my lady and I impregnate someone else? She said "it is ok".

I was stunned. I simply took pity on her and gave her my piece of advice. Then I excused myself that I want to pee. I went out and didn't return again! I guess when she got the message, she packed and go.

My former girlfriend once asked me what I will do if another man is riding her. I told her, it is her problem not mine! For asking such foolish question, I know she may have reason. From that moment, I smartly monitored her. When I find out she had been seeing other men, I didn't fight her. Afterall we are not married. I told her she is free to give her body to dogs!

There is no need fighting a woman who is a cheat. I have only one choice. Permanent seperation! She begged and begged. But what can I do?

Once a cheater always a cheater. I was glad I left her!

I won't marry a cheater!

I was conv

@ topic,

i will spare your the e-punches because you pleaded for constructive advice.

whatever it is that gave you the courage not just to sleep with another lady when you have a date fixed for your introduction, but doing so without a protection should also give you the courage to marry her, but the choice is yours really because i have never and will never sleep with a lady unprotected if i can't have her as a wife.

i don't know how your fiancee sees your actions, she(the lady) may have to give birth to the baby,while you continue with your marriage plans because its clear she is a desperado, trying to reap where she never sowed, that leaves you with a divided home.what a pity.

olanajim

once a woman cheats on a man she is history.
but when its vice versa we are called to "TOLERATE"  as some so affectionately put it here.


for me i think cheating is a way to break a relationship, even if it continues under the guise of a marriage, engagement,


best way to deal with cheating is to inflict near death consequences.  this way they wont do it again.
sticking one's wet fingers through plugs in a wall comes to mind.

WHICH CONSEQUENCE WOULD YOU LIKE DEEP?

@deeplo,
I will not call you a cheater. I have given the best advice I can think of if I were you. I also observe I was not the only one who mention it.

Don't marry anyone who foist herself on you. Be wise. Marriage is a difference ball game. You live with her. If she can do that, she would do worse. Take it or leave it.

Talk to your fiance. She is the best to help you out. The worst thing that can happen is that you lose her. Haven't you lose her already? Do you want to mourn forever? No, never!

Accept that you have lost her. Then talk to her and work toward taking her back. If you succeed, you will be glad you did. If you fail, just make sure the temptress don't have a hell of chance in your life.

Ogamadam,
there is wide difference between cheating and falling into temptation. Tempter and temptress always have selfish motive to force someone to sleep with them. A cheater however engage in free for all sex for whatever reason. He or she would have consented with the accomplice before the deed.

I equates temptation to rape! If you rape someone, you can't force that fellow to marry you. Even if you get pregnant. That is my verdict.

That said, I don't encourage cheating either by man or woman. It is the same. I don't tolerate it. I am lucky to have sharp sense. I would have found you out before I got emotional with you.

Doing a due diligent before falling in love is one task most people avoid to undertake. But with great consequence if things turn awry. I don't love with heart, i loves with my head.

What happened to the poster have happened to 2 or 3 people around me and that is how they solved it.

Olanajim

assuming we reverse posters EXACT situation, except this time YOUR girl gets tempted.

what would you do?

Ogamadam,
now you are talking. I admit ladies can be tempted just as men can. While ladies tempt men with their sexuality, their natural gift to seduced, men tempt ladies by force! It is not everytime a lady see a man chest that she get wet unless she is a secret admirer of that man. You are a woman, do you get wet bx mere looking at a man chest? Pls reply.

That said, temptation is more of feminist thing. But if a man tempt a woman, I will expect her to tell me instead of me finding out. Tellimg me with her own mouth is the only way I would be able to judge her action. Don't worry, I had a sensory perception. I would know if she was lying.

Now, when a woman got raped, what do you think she would do first? Visit hospital and do some tests. That is what I will do. After taken care of my woman, we can then tackle the idiot. Well, in case you forget, men don't get pregnant and women can always take care of the mad unauthorized sperms that found their way in.

I hope I have answered your questions, oga madam?

Olanajim
How long did your longest relationship ever last?
If you don't mind my asking.

no you havent.

to paraphrase Ebony Silk you went into some long "jagbajantis" of temptation yadi yada.

i want to know would you forgive her if she jumped on you like this guy jumped on his wife 2 b?
SIMPLE QUESTION REALLY.


and no, since women are more emmotionally inclined than physically, looking at a man's chest hairs really wouldnt turn me on.
but then again i am different.

I find pleasure in looking at a chubby dude, even if bold. by pleasure i do not mean salivating, i just mean he makes me feel
comfortable, at home like.

IF DEEPLO was you and your fiance made albeit one mistake, would you TOLERATE?

Relationship in what way? I don't get you. I define my relationship in many ways. So I need to get you first before I supply answer. By the way, don't forget to tell me why you asked.

ALL am tryna say Ola is this:


if deep was the one who the girlfriend cheated on him he wouldnt even be on this forum



as he would have dumped her so fast she would have her head spinning.


CULTURE/MEN dont condone females cheating but make room for a man;s cheating. excusing him because he is weak
and didnt mean it and all such lame excuses.

I just want to put all you have been saying into perspective.

Ogamadam,
you cannot be too sure. One thing I try to do is not to judge people without facts. There was a guy, Adam who was cheated, and he was bold to come to the forum. There have been other guys who had reported cheating girlfriend. There was chatupkay etc. My point: don't judge him that way.

Secondly, I kept emphasising that there is a marked difference between CHEATING and RAPE. So I would want to presume someone innocent until he is found guilty.

At any rate, we can't say because there is evil in the land, we would not look for goods again.

Deep need help and I hope he do the right thing.

Ogamadam,
You are right there is some sort of stigma associated with women cheating, I think it is biological anyway.

Fellow Nairaland,
This is something i need to share with all and need a constructive idea and advice. Please, no joking about this as it involve the stability of my relationship. Thank you as you share your opinion.

It happens that, i usually help this lady who is not fortunate to have a good relationship. I gave her money, properties and moral assistance, all bc i felt i owe humanity and feelings that i should at least put a smile on someone's face. However, she has been asking me to sleep with her which i bluntly refused, one DAY we did it but how and what lead to it i still don't know till today. weeks after she told me she is pregnant and will not want to do any abortion. What really surprised me is that she said the pregnancy is just 1 month and plus old. I have my introduction slated for January 24th 2009. My fiance told me last saturday that she dreamt i impregnate someone i did not say anything in response (NOTE,  this lady happens to know and become a good friend to my fiance ,  a very good friend),

Am at a dilemna, as this girl vowed to displace my relationship with my fiance. I have tried all i could to persuade her to abort but instead she keep avoiding me and prefer to say it to everyone that knows me that i impregnate her and refused to claim responsibility, WHAT A WORLD WE INTO

THE COUNT DOWN IS JANUARY 24TH 2009.
NEED YOUR ADVICE. THANK YOU

ure as good as dead not because ure a bad person. But i think its by grand design that u will suffer this year 2009
na true the count down to ur 'gbege' has begun
pls keep me informed as to how ur wifey to be will deal with u

u don enter this one.

tkb417:

ure as good as dead not because ure a bad person. [b]But i think its by grand design that u will suffer this year 2009
na true the count down to ur 'gbege' has begun[/b]please keep me informed as to how ur wifey to be will deal with u

u don enter this one.

hehe. . . . d guy waz only helping naa buh. . . ise esu nii o!

As for you, learn to tie your kilimanjaro when next you are in a temptress haven! You are careless with your health and took a big gamble. You could have got a virus in the process. Thank God, it is a baby not AIDS.

Good luck!

The words in bold is why i said what i said. Instead of advising the guy to run next time he is tempted you adviced him to wrap it up.

I would not want my husband to think like that. I would instead want my husband to think:

That said, I don't encourage cheating either by man or woman.

olanajim:

Secondly, I kept emphasising that there is a marked difference between CHEATING and RAPE. So I would want to presume someone innocent until he is found guilty.

But how many times have men come here to say that their women "claim rape" but they dont believe them. According to these men Nigerian women lie about this sort of thing and Nigerian men just dont believe it because they did not see it with their own eyes and that she must be part of the problem or at fault for it happening.

OgaMadam:

olanajim

once a woman cheats on a man she is history.
but when its vice versa we are called to "TOLERATE" as some so affectionately put it here.

I agree. Why is it that Nigerian woman are special because they still choose to live like some American women used to back in the 60's. Long gone is the time that women just take the att. that men will be men and we should forgive them and just ignore it. Long gone is the thinking that we must hold on to our men at all costs no matter how many affairs he has. What women want now is a man that values her as much as she values him. Gender equality.

Sistawoman,
you got it wrong! Let me illustrate, many men watch blue films, what stop them from running away at the highest level of lust?

The man who think that he must always run away from temptation will sooner discover how foolish he would become when faced with naked reality. I therefore posit that for any man who is manly enough, self control is the best way to show character. Running away will only work for awhile, but would fail when there is no exit route.


Think about it. Would you rather want your husband to run out of his office each time a temptress enter his office or to show self restraint and shame the devil? Running work for a short time. It is never the last solution for a man living in a normal society like ours.

I dont mean literal running.

I mean I dont want my husband to wrap it up and sleep with her, but to remember his vow that he has taken with me in front of God and family.

I want my husband to make sure that if he is put in a situation like that his thought is not to wrap it up, to put her out/in her place/and be faithful to me.

I dont want to be in this womans shoes. To be honest if i was in her shoes I dont know what i would do. Life in Nigeria is totally different from life here.

On rape, I do not know where you get the idea that Nigerian men in general call victims of rape liar. But I do know that women find it difficult to believe a man can be forced to have sex with a lady against his wish. It is that mentality that made it hard for you to understand the poster's travail.

So far, we have seen men convicted of raping women. But I have never seen woman convicted of raping or forcing a man to have sex with her! To women folks, men are unfair. Yet, it is men that sometimes fall victim to the rules.

While I agree that some ladies actually lies of being raped, everyone know that it is easy to get a prove when a lady is a victim than when it is the man.

Sentiment apart, generalising without considering the individual case on it merit is a waste of time.

I look at issue base on their evidence. On this matter, the guy had been taken advantaged of. Rather than crucify him, we must look at the fact on ground.

At any rate, that statement doesn't in anyway suggest I want my wife to cheat. Well FYI, i always encourage my female friends to have other guys around them! I never discourage them from having lovers.

You know I am smarter than that. I don't have to commit to a lady who flirt right because I asked her to. I don't even do this kind of nuisance people call date! I have never dated a woman. But I do have very close relationship with many. We live in an ungodly world, so I won't be surprised if some of you find it hard to believe.

In short, I am strange!

@sistawoman,
what will keep your husband to abide by is vow is SELF CONTROL. I am a man, I know how men's body work. You are not in a position to understand it.

olanajim:

On rape, I do not know where you get the idea that Nigerian men in general call victims of rape liar. But I do know that women find it difficult to believe a man can be forced to have sex with a lady against his wish. It is that mentality that made it hard for you to understand the poster's travail.

I have been here long enough to actually see the posts from several guys questioning if a woman really was raped or not because she did not do a the guy thought she should or did not react the way a guy thought that she should.  They have never been raped and have no idea how this can effect a woman or what her reaction might be.
I am not going to call names on this but the guys around here know who i am talking about.

So far, we have seen men convicted of raping women. But I have never seen woman convicted of raping or forcing a man to have sex with her! To women folks, men are unfair. Yet, it is men that sometimes fall victim to the rules.

yes it does happen here are a few articles on it.

http://africanpress./2007/10/11/in-south-africa-women-now-rape-men/
http://www.thelocal.se/12046/20080527/
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20050825071820256C880914
http://www.chrisandsam.com/node/1989

While I agree that some ladies actually lies of being raped, everyone know that it is easy to get a prove when a lady is a victim than when it is the man.

how so?

olanajim:

@sistawoman,
what will keep your husband to abide by is vow is SELF CONTROL. I am a man, I know how men's body work. You are not in a position to understand it.

I would like to explore this a little more. 

How is it more about self control then the thought of hurting to one you vowed to love forever?  How can a woman FORCE a man to sleep with her?  It is not possible for a man to turn around and walk away or tell them "I tell you Satan to get behind me"?  Are men just not accountable for their actions but women are?  Does that make women of higher intelligance then men because we can walk away and not Bleep the naked man in front of us?

The link you gave of the rape cases weren't Nigerian! I want you to give me a dozen cases from Nigeria alone. We are talking of Nigeria. And I want an authorized one.

On self control, well you can't get it. You are not a woman. Maybe you should discuss with those who have seen it for real. One thing I can only tell you, is that Not every man think of the effect of hurting their woman when temptation come calling. What goes on inside him is not necesarily his wife. By the way, have you ever seen or heard of a man crying when he want to disvirgin a young lady? The passion alone would subdue whatever the hurt he feel the lady would get from the act. I think that is the nearest I can go in that.