VALS!!!
Nonsense day. Guys of nowadays no wan fall mugu again. Nonsense

ole!!! awoof dey run belle.
Thief!!!!!! we don wise up

what chick are u talking about? no be the regular chicks o, na wifey to be

Na wa o.

Who never born don get belle
Who never get belle don dey close to the point of no return.

Please pardon the assumption.
How many people will I apologise to on this 'partner' issue sef?

Na wa o.

Who never born don get belle
Who never get belle don dey close to the point of no return.

Please pardon the assumption.
How many people will I apologise to on this 'partner' issue sef?

i'll need a translator for this

speak my kinda lingua babes

Topic
How body my people?
been up and down trying to get some of ma documents flying. weekend was dope cos i rested very well apart from the early morning rush to the office.
Today has been good so far unlike the previous mondays. As im speaking to you now, ive closed my 2 pending deals and the final document should be out from the "look and feel" guy.
Hoping to shoot the placement doc to select individuals by wednesday morning. Have a meeting again!!

How una dey?
I've been reading this thread for a while and it's rather refreshing, not like the other 'burning issues'.
But make una come o. Some of the work days you guys are describing sound like fiction to me. No be say i dey call una liarz but, what happened to all the stuff the Naija work environment is known for? General 'faffing' around, clueless bosses, lazy staff who specialize mostly in running down the boss and stabbing each other in the back, scheming and lying, selling or ratting each other out to expat staff or the bosses because of basic favours, simple tasks that end up becoming major 'projects' because of selfish interest or general incompetence of all concerned, etc, etc?

Just curious y'all.

How una dey?
I've been reading this thread for a while and it's rather refreshing, not like the other 'burning issues'.
But make una come o. Some of the work days you guys are describing sound like fiction to me. No be say i dey call una liarz but, what happened to all the stuff the Naija work environment is known for? General 'faffing' around, clueless bosses, lazy staff who specialize mostly in running down the boss and stabbing each other in the back, scheming and lying, selling or ratting each other out to expat staff or the bosses because of basic favours, simple tasks that end up becoming major 'projects' because of selfish interest or general incompetence of all concerned, etc, etc?

welcome o bros
if u have been reading well, u'll notice some of us tend to talk ablout the problems/wahalas in the office rather than really dwell on what we do. We really cant go into too much details of what we do daily or we'll risk someone in our offices reading what we post.
However, people like Tollu, tkb ,Jarus do talk about the faffing around, the facebooking and the rest.

nyways, lets hear ur bit even if its the fafing around part.

Welcome on board Ajanlekoko
It sure would be nice to have your own gists on ‘evils’ of the workplace. Let's have it.

Hey TKB, what’s going on?
Your lingua? O wa lara e

tollu:

Welcome on board Ajanlekoko
It sure would be nice to have your own gists on ‘evils’ of the workplace. Let's have it.

Hey TKB, what’s going on?
Your lingua? O wa lara e

hey all,
well, I work in the telcos (GSM), been there since '01, and I'm now a senior member of the organization I work for.
In my office, I kind of have a really big team, managers and supervisors report to me, so I don't really have to do anything. I therefore spend my time observing the fray, the various physical exercises I mentioned in my ealier post. Then of course I jump into the fray.

Mostly I research and read books like 'the road to CEO', 'how to undermine your boss and contemporaries', 'the mafia manager', and other such 'evil' books. At my level, navigational skills seem to be more important than academic or professional skills, as I am beginning to find out. So I am busy with the re-education of moi, transforming into your typical average evil treacherous boss.

Right now, I'm out of the country attending a conference, so I don't have a day at work this week. But my typical day at work is spent attending meetings.

Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Meetings I call, meetings called by others just to hear my honed oratorial skills, meetings we all use to display our latest tricks and schemes and generally rubbish ourselves before our expatriate bosses, who now proceed to fall our hand big time.

The really cool thing about this job be say I am still younger than the average guy at this level. Therefore it tickles me to no end when older guys I run into in the lift and around the office say 'oga' and 'sir'. I feel like taking them by the scruff of their neck and shaking them, screaming 'can't you see I'm just me?'. Ah, well,

Nowadays I get to fly first and business class on international trips, having spent a decade flying economy. Brothers and sisters no be mai mai o! VIP lounge access, no queues at ANY airport in the world, limo service, etc,etc. The first time wey I fly after getting the promotion, I no even sabi how the bed-seat dem dey work, how to arrange the wackies, so I just dey observe one oyinbo as he dey do everything. The guy obviously caught on, cos he kept grinning at me throughout the 8 hour flight. Na im sabi.

Got to run. I'm late for the first session of the conference I'm attending, as a result of excessive partying last night. Will be posting later. Ta!

Hmmm Ajanlekoko (Nice name by the way)
You seem to be doing exactly what u’ve accused us of. We need to hear MORE of the ‘Nigerian working environment’ experiences you highlighted in ur first post.

But wait o, it seems the really heavy jobs leaves enough room for enjoyment

Of the books u mentioned, I’ve read Mafia Manager and remember it vaguely. I’ll dig it up and read again with more focus this time. Perhaps that will get me the first class flying and yes madam, yes madam by older colleagues.

While ‘faffing’ around on Nairaland today, I came across this interesting thread. Man, I almost got in trouble o after LOLing like twice, I had to stifle my laughter, head nearly burst.
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-108614.0.html

It's not more that a page but struck me as really funny.

Ajanlekoko the big boy, you're welcome!!

Well, as regards office politics, of course, it goes on everywhere, but personally, I cannot reveal that in public forum. In fact, immediately I joined this thread, I had to remove my real picture from my profile and checked 'hide email' box. Yorubas will say 'ogiri l'eti'(The wall has ear). I only discuss things that affect me and my job only. I don't discuss other staff, except if I have to mention them(generally, not specifically, e.g one of the managers, my manager, a colleague etc etc) in the course of describing my activities in a day.

Back to the subject, how was your weekend, all?
Thursday and Friday last week were actually hectic for me, rushing to do many things on the company's Fixed Assets accounting records so as to get our position at the end of January. But I became a little relieved again after we closed January.

My activities yesterday basically centred around disposal of some cars I'm coordinating, as the Secretary of the Asset Disposal Committee. We put up some cars for disposal and we were meant to analyse the bids yesterday. I called meeting of all members(I'm the only non-mgt staff member, juniormost member). We had it.

Today, I'm trying to get more information on other cars we want to dispose, calling our Kaduna and Ikeja offices. I may need to be in Ikeja later today.

hey all,
well, I work in the telcos (GSM), been there since '01, and I'm now a senior member of the organization I work for.
In my office, I kind of have a really big team, managers and supervisors report to me, so I don't really have to do anything. I therefore spend my time observing the fray, the various physical exercises I mentioned in my ealier post. Then of course I jump into the fray.

Mostly I research and read books like 'the road to CEO', 'how to undermine your boss and contemporaries', 'the mafia manager', and other such 'evil' books. At my level, navigational skills seem to be more important than academic or professional skills, as I am beginning to find out. So I am busy with the re-education of moi, transforming into your typical average evil treacherous boss.

Right now, I'm out of the country attending a conference, so I don't have a day at work this week. But my typical day at work is spent attending meetings.

Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Meetings I call, meetings called by others just to hear my honed oratorial skills, meetings we all use to display our latest tricks and schemes and generally rubbish ourselves before our expatriate bosses, who now proceed to fall our hand big time.

The really cool thing about this job be say I am still younger than the average guy at this level. Therefore it tickles me to no end when older guys I run into in the lift and around the office say 'oga' and 'sir'. I feel like taking them by the scruff of their neck and shaking them, screaming 'can't you see I'm just me?'. Ah, well,

Nowadays I get to fly first and business class on international trips, having spent a decade flying economy. Brothers and sisters no be mai mai o! VIP lounge access, no queues at ANY airport in the world, limo service, etc,etc. The first time wey I fly after getting the promotion, I no even sabi how the bed-seat dem dey work, how to arrange the wackies, so I just dey observe one oyinbo as he dey do everything. The guy obviously caught on, cos he kept grinning at me throughout the 8 hour flight. Na im sabi.

Got to run. I'm late for the first session of the conference I'm attending, as a result of excessive partying last night. Will be posting later. Ta!

so what you do is faff around as a boss?
do they pay you? what are they paying for?

did you say you work for a Telco?
your org needs some restructuring

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=33446;sa=showPosts

the guy is a marketer, he flunked a mobil interview(since when mobil dey invite 2.2?), he has been working for over 10 years,

must be tales from the internet

and hes the same slowpoke who was yarning op about engineers

Hmmmm

Let's go adigging.

the guy is a marketer, he flunked a mobil interview(since when mobil dey invite 2.2?), he has been working for over 10 years,

must be tales from the internet

and hes the same slowpoke who was yarning op about engineers

i saw his 'engineering goof' o bros.
mobil 2:2?

hehehehe, they wanna scatter this thread.
abeggi lemme go alooking too

When I also read our ''faffer's'' post, I knew another arrogant bragger had strayed here. His assertions were incoherent. Managers and supervisors reporting to him? Calling meetings just to hear grammar? Flying business and first classes? But in order not to be confrontational, I just teased him up as a 'big boy'.

We are not saying this is not impossible. In fact it will be nice having a top mgt staff(as his assertions presented him) with us in this discussion, but it is easy to see LIE and EXAGGERATION written all over his post.

TKB has offered the right advice - the organization needs restructuring, if its ever exists.

But oyb has already delivered the final straw, bursting his bubble!

Hello Peeps

Hope the weekend was cracking for y'all. Mine was too good to be true cos if i'd been a bit more perceptive, i should've known it was the calm b4 d friggin storm.

My BM set monday rolling by telling us he was going on a 2 week course (more like 2 week lounging if u ask me).
To complicate issues, the #3 in line to branch throne is also on another jamboree course. So the current custodian to the throne has his work cut out.
Naturally, he's on erybodys ass chomping like mad. (I forgot to mention my Branch performance for Jan was sub par)

So the saga continues

Ps. Ajanlekoko, Welcome to da club, Will have fun reading ur fiction.

Now I ain't pleased about this
Please it's not compulsory to post on this thread. If you don't want to just ignore it. Spoiling it is one thing I really won't let happen o. Why should anyone lie here, I mean,who's there to impress,faceless forum users?
Thread's just for those that actually do something for a living and feel like sharing the ups/downs, good/bad of their work places in here,no matter where that work place is or what the job is.
Mr. Ajanlekoko, I'm nicely asking you to desist from anything negative in here,k? Thanks. Like I said before, it's not compulsory to post here.


@all
How've things been people? Hope runs and hustles have been going pretty well.

@Topic
Today was kinda easy-going. My immediate boss started her leave yesterday so it's a case of 'cat is away,mice can play', lol. Of course not that we've all decided to go lax in my dept, but the fire-fire pressure has eased somewhat, and for that I'm super grateful. Though it's prob'ly not going to be too long before my BM takes over pushing us, but for now.  .  .
Didn't go out paper-chasing today at all.  .  .just stayed in and did in-house duties, took care of issues and stuff.
Had a lil' clash with one of my colleagues.  .  .we were supposed to work on something together and he went out,leaving the whole thing for me to do. I did it,but I wasn't smiling one bit. When he came back I made my feelings clear as professionally as possible,lol, and the dude got angry. Oh well, guess clashes with colleagues once in a while ain't anything new. I'm sure we'll be friends again by Thursday

AjanleKoko:

Okay.
Seeing as I got so many rave reviews (and an unofficial inquest, and many death threats) into my first (or is it second) post on this thread, I shall continue to shamelessly post my fiction,

Today, I got up really late (like past 8 or something) cos I was at a dinner last night at some fancy spinning restaurant wey dem dey call Xalet de Montjuic or something like that. No be naija e dey oo, before una start to find am for google earth

The restaurant na serious underground, like 3 flights down. It's circular, is built on a hill or mountain, overlooks a stunning view of the city which I no go mention im name. The really cool thing about this place be say every hour the floor actually spins 360 degrees. No be lai o.

Not much else to say about the place, cos all that happened yesterday.

So I went to Day 2 of the conference I'm attending, determined to be a bit more serious.
Rather than roaming around like I did on Monday, I actually sit in for some of the sessions, armed with a thick cup of coffee to block any attempts at crashing, cos I kind of snore loudly, and I no wan traumatize these oyinbos. The sessions no too bad sha. We had vendors stroking us about how they have the next great direction for the mobile industry. Obviously oyinbos don finish with 3.xG/HSPxA, and are now talking about 4G/LTE and how they are going to cut all the wires in existence, until no land line exists no more. Like that like that sha, all day, panel discussion after presentation, after panel discussion after presentation, etc, etc,

I thought it was really boring but decided to stick it out. Plus my director dey around, 2 seats away from me. What better motivation, muchachos?

Anyways, by 1730, we were done, and I was on my way back to my hotel. Mackie is beginning to get to me, so I decided to starve tonight. That is, until I notice a chinese joint across the road, na im I go buy wack. Omo, no be every chinese be like Jade Garden for Isaac John o(that na my personal favourite). This one was terrible.

Well, that was pretty much my day, but the bright spot was actually the various rakies wey I dey read from this site. Gave me lotta laughs.

Oops, I don do am again. Let me quickly write the real version of my day


Today started just like any other day at Mile 12. I was slapped awake by the 'under bridge' chairman, kicked the crap out of by the area boys and bus conductors, and planked solidly by the other kayas. Worse, I didn't see more than 2 pepper to carry, so no wackies tonight. God help me oooo,

That one no too flow. make I try the secondary school dropout version,

Today was just like yesterday. As I no get moni to pay my waec, I just siddon for house all day.
I just took a break from pushing mails to all my mugus to send you this.

Omo I give up jare.

Peace.

Your just a very silly child. Look around you! Can you see unserious people posting crap here. Your mingling with the future leaders of this nation and how we go about our daily jobs either good or bad and how we can help each other suceed and your here posting fairy tales slum dog millionaire lifestyles that even Microsoft CEOs dont engage in.

Pls dont derail this thread. Its one of the threads where serious minded people on nairaland with careers discuss important issues devoid of teenage comments that circulates in your romance or jokes threads!

Mr Man govern your self accordingly!

lawyer:

Your just a very silly child. Look around you! Can you see unserious people posting crap here. Your mingling with the future leaders of this nation and how we go about our daily jobs either good or bad and how we can help each other suceed and your here posting fairy tales slum dog millionaire lifestyles that even Microsoft CEOs dont engage in.

Pls dont derail this thread. Its one of the threads where serious minded people on nairaland with careers discuss important issues devoid of teenage comments that circulates in your romance or jokes threads!

Mr Man govern your self accordingly!

Hi lawyer,
No vex o, but, did you seriously write this? I mean, serious-minded people on nairaland with careers discuss important issues, etc etc. Again, make una no vex but, what exactly is wrong with all of you guys?
Okay. You guys win. I apologise. Seriously I didn't come here to brag or anything of that nature. But neither did I come here to defend myself or try to prove whatever to you guys. Do you guys really take yourselves that seriously? I was just having fun, haba. You know, F-U-N, fun. Aren't you guys here to unwind, or is this an extension of your jobs/careers/lives? Come on, man (abi na woman)!
Look guys. Life is too short, and this is after all a web forum, not Dr Phil (not that I watch the man).
Haba. I tire o.

But on a much more serious note. As much as I would have loved to say otherwise, I am a senior professional with about a decade work experience, with the palis and experience to back it up. What I don't really get is, why would you think I was lying? What does it matter to you guys who or what I am? I don't necessarily want to know exactly what any of you guys do, I just like to read from you, and contribute when I feel like. Or do I need to undergo a background/identity check to do that? Abi you people know unaself from somewhere before wey me just go chuck head? I just dey try understand una raking.

I won't contribute to your thread again. Really sorry to have butted in, sincerely

About time we had a bit of drama up in here.

If Ajanlekoko likes to engage in a bit of fantasy living, guys lets leave him be. We should at least give him benefit of doubt until his bragging gets too much or he gets caught up in a web of his lies, half truths, or whatever this is.

Ajanlekoko
Yes we take ourselves seriously and no this ain't Dr Phil.
Hope the 360 degrees spinning building didn't make you dizzy?

Diggler and Cristalz
Y'all are on opposite ends of the work environment at the moment. One calm and the other crazy.
Anyways, good to have u guys back. 'been a while.

Topic
Well, it is another day.

I was at a dinner last night at some fancy spinning restaurant wey dem dey call Xalet de Montjuic or something like that. No be naija e dey oo, before una start to find am for google earth

Please let Ajanlekoko the faffer be. He will be a good side attraction to this thread. After all, even in serious retreats, comedians are invited to add some humour.

I'm enjoying his fiction. He is our Baba Suwe here. The name itself(Ajanlekoko - dog dey pursue wolf) is funny.

Let teh discussion continue, while the comedian continue to entertain us

If he wants to keep ''entertaining'' in here he is very free to, but there are nicer ways to have fun than making jest of people undeservedly.

@topic

Been a crazy week so far, no wonder have been off the thread for a while.

Monday

Met with a "client" who during discussions i found out is into serious 419 business. Wants to enter into some spurious arrangements with state governments and wants me to document the transaction. Anyway, as u know the client is always king, gave him some advice (not on how to 419 o) and his bill. He paid part and promised to pay balance on thursday. I am not looking forward to him keeping his promise though. victim no 1

Tuesday,
Sad day i must confess. Had this deal i had been structuring since december last year. Packaged both parties properly only for oneof them to back out today. Pain me die. Was expecting some serious dough from the deal. no long thing.

Wednesday,
In this my profession you really get to entertain all orts of clients with strange requests. A client called today wanting to rent a block of apartment for its staff at Ikoyi and requested that i speak with the landlord of the property. Guess what, my client is proposing to rent 8 flats for 2 yrs at $$$$$$$$ per annum. The crazy part is that they want to pay half of the rent now and the remaining half in a year. Can you guys imagine that. When i put the proposal before the landlord the guy thought i was mad. Went back to the client to brief on the outcome of the meeting and guess what, they produce the cheque for the 2 years. The GM explained that it was a case of throwing banana at the landlord to see if he would chop it. The kora people sha.

Never knew running an office was this expensive, been on generator since last week friday and been spending money left right and center. Pls help me beg NEPA.

later.

@jarus,

What kind of cars are u guys disposing.

Need 2 get pool cars for the office. Pls holla.

Thanks

hey people
whts going on?
where is my person? Tollu where u dey

work ooo, person no go die. i dunno how this week has been different from other days apart from the fact that my bosses have learnt to keep things cool with me. No more shoutings

i don lean cos of this fast and to even type here sef na wa.
Nothing new is happening, still chasing after my old transactions, chasing after other prospective mandates also.
Yeah, that reminds me

abeg lawyers in the house and whoever knows about this
what do i need to know b4 going into importation biz o? i dont wanna get fingers burnt cos this one wey dollar dey run like madman
documentations, regulations and stuffs puhleaseee

catch u guys laterz

jericho:

@jarus,

What kind of cars are u guys disposing.

Need 2 get pool cars for the office. Pls holla.

Thanks

We are disposing about 19 Honda Civics used by our BMs before being replaced late last year by new set of 2008 Honda Accord.
But it is not open to Non-staff of the company.

We are disposing about 19 Honda Civics used by our BMs before being replaced late last year by new set of 2008 Honda Accord.
But it is not open to Non-staff of the company.

cant he give you the money to bid for him and handover the car after successfully winning the bid

tkb417:

cant he give you the money to bid for him and handover the car after successfully winning the bid

Dont ever trust Jarus with anyone's money!

MrCrackles:

Dont ever trust Jarus with anyone's money!

I don't even need the money.

@tkb
I cannot bid. I'm the Secretary of the Asset Disposal Committee and therefore ineligible. There is conflict of interest. I have privilege information. I cannot be a player and the umpire. If I'm to bid I'll have have to declare this conflict of interest and excuse myself from the process, while it lasts. But I won't do that!

Are they Honda Accord cars and what year?
so all the 19 cars will be picked by the staff of ****

una dey try. so as u be umpire now, u cant allow for some re-engineering of the process
na aso rock u suppose dey live

tkb417:

Are they Honda Accord cars and what year?
so all the 19 cars will be picked by the staff of ****

una dey try. so as u be umpire now, u cant allow for some re-engineering of the process
na aso rock u suppose dey live

There is one Toyota Avensis, one Honda Accord(End-of-Discussion), the 17 others are Honda Civics(2004).
The disposal process is still in the pipeline and we are trying to finalize some things(fixing reserve price for them etc) before declaring open the bid next week.

It will be very competitive and a lot of high power lobbying from the top will definitely occur. I'm the most junior member of the committee(others are mgt staff) and I can't guarantee any 'engineering' to make anybody win it.

Jarus:

I don't even need the money.

Why you come dey squeeze face naw?

No be joke i dey joke!

MrCrackles:

Why you come dey squeeze face naw?

No be joke i dey joke!

Don't mind me jare, my brother!!!