This question has been lingering in my thought for a while and I have not gotten a suitable response. Girls who dares such are quick to be labelled greedy or better still golddiggers.
Dr A.B.C has been my lecturer since my second year in the university and his a very intelligent and accomplished man. He told me he has an interest in me when I graduated from school, he has proposed marriage since 3 years ago but I kept saying no. He's in his late 50's very young at heart. After interacting with him I found he's got my best interest at heart and loves me genuinely. He is very keen on my development and growth. He wants me to accomplish much as a woman and take on fields and career paths where you naturally see men thrive. He travels a lot and on a visit to the school he lectures he offered to take me and a friend round the campus and even round the town showing me historical sites and even the tourist attractions. He gives me maximum attention and he's even advised me to start my masters degree and if I do well I can write a fantastic paper that can be featured in an international journal and can launch me into the world of academics.
I actually forgot I feel safe and secure around him and he doesn't seem to be worried about any issues. He's calm

He's caring
Loving
Kind and also concerned about my intellectual and psychological growth

I watched Mr Ben who parked into our house last year. He's 48 years old and auntie Vivian his wife is 32. After all I see the way he truly cares for her and I haven't heard him raise his voice on her ever.

So I ask should I marry an older man?
Are they truly more caring?
Why is the society quick to label ladies who dare it gold diggers?
Will I become an outcast within family and friends?
Are they more matured and handle issues better?
Do they offer a sort of emotional, mental and financial security than younger men?
What are the pros and cons?
Do the pro outweigh the cons?

Many feel ladies marry older guy for their money but is there some sort of extra satisfaction involved?

I storified this cos i want it to be an interesting read. Actual names have been changed I would appreciate mature comments please and please this is not a women bashing thread. Keep your response within the subject matter.

Lalasticlala
Ishilove please I would like this post to grace frontpage.
I really want to have diverse views of what nairalanders think on the issue.
Thanks

both among the old and the young we have the good and bad ones

just pray to meet the right person your soul desire

now he treats you the way u want

if you know that is really wat you want
if u know u are rest assured in him

then you are free to have him all to your self

since you belive that the old men are better than the younger ones

to your own thinking o

I see, Does it mean you can't find a younger man who has all these mouth watering qualities this man has?...He's a widower, right?... Do you want to be an early widow, Cause going by his age... You know what I mean. But if you believe and you know you love him genuinely and vice versa, then you can go ahead. By the way, How old are you?

till it grace fp.

Commentu dum Reservoir

If you want to marry, go ahead and marry. Stop subtracting. adding and dividing.

Wait oo u neva marry?

did someone say you cant marry an older man?

if older men are your choice, then i dont see why you have to bring it to nairaland.

just dont be jealous when you see people who made different choices than you.

i must say though, there's something ghoulish about women who scout for widowers or divorcees to marry- beware of karma.

ermmmm

sinaj:
till it grace fp.

Commentu dum Reservoir

I have never see you make relevant comment

must you comment? if you have nothing good to comment ignore and let ppl comment.

guess u shld use your data on 2go where u can toy around with kids like u

just follow your heart

Who says you can't? Did you ever advise anyone not to marry whom they chose to marry?

standd:
Who says you can't? Did you ever advise anyone not to marry whom they chose to marry?

Well I see some sort of phobia around it and I have seen some older men versus younger women relationship that the Nigerian society frowns upon.

What prompted me to create this thread was a conversation I had with a friend on the issue after watching George clooney and amal alamuddin's wedding. My friend said if na naija dey go say na because of money but the babe too in this case has a thriving career.
I just wanted people to dissect the topic and give their views on the workability of the marriage in this much stereotyped part of the world.
Thanks for dropping by

agarawu23:
I have never see you make relevant comment

must you comment? if you have nothing good to comment ignore and let ppl comment.

guess u shld use your data on 2go where u can toy around with kids like u

nigga plz add 'n' to ya see to make it 'seen'

u shud bother more on English grammar nd bother less bout me

Kachisbarbie:
Emmm...
Asking if you should marry an older man is over the top.

I believe that inadvertently, at a point in lady's life she might not be attracted to 'youth' but confidence, emotional/financial security , power...etc, older men come with these qualities.

So, when she meets this man _ he becomes her definition of sexy. His age becomes as irrelevant as the (ueue) in queue.
Which shouldn't be our business in anyway.

On the part of the men, they are actually caring. These older men don't really care if the lady is in love or on some gold digging quest, unlike the youngsters that would keep whining like a broken record.

All that matters to him(the older man) is that they have a beautiful/intelligent woman to call their own.
They would practically do your bidding.

As for the lady, you don't have to bother about getting old, he would always be older...lolz

I didn't say you should marry your ancestor o, but an older man isn't a bad idea.

Thanks ma'am for dissecting the topic

tpiadotcom:
did someone say you cant marry an older man?

if older men are your choice, then i dont see why you have to bring it to nairaland.

just dont be jealous when you see people who made different choices than you.

i must say though, there's something ghoulish about women who scout for widowers or divorcees to marry- beware of karma.

Well I gave two scenarios up there.
I only wanted people to share their thoughts on the workability of this types of marriages in this part of the world

Kachisbarbie:
.

All that matters to him(the older man) is that they have a beautiful/intelligent woman to call their own.
They would practically do your bidding.

this is rather insulting though, are you implying such older men lack sense despite being older?

their only reason for marrying someone would be because of beauty and cunningness of which the former can be found in practically anybody with a makeup kit?

SeverusSnape:
I see, Does it mean you can't find a younger man who has all these mouth watering qualities this man has?...He's a widower, right?... Do you want to be an early widow, Cause going by his age... You know what I mean. But if you believe and you know you love him genuinely and vice versa, then you can go ahead. By the way, How old are you?

Well you can go through the thread again, read my posts and actually give your thought on the workability of these marriages. I gave two scenarios up there and I want people to relate it to this part of the world.

remsonik:

Well I gave two scenarios up there.
I only wanted people to share their thoughts on the workability of this types of marriages in this part of the world

your choices are yours, you dont really need anybody's opinion for your decisions insofar as you are not violating any ethical or moral codes.

live and let live.

remsonik:


Well I see some sort of phobia around it and I have seen some older men versus younger women relationship that the Nigerian society frowns upon.

What prompted me to create this thread was a conversation I had with a friend on the issue after watching George clooney and amal alamuddin's wedding. My friend said if na naija dey go say na because of money but the babe too in this case has a thriving career.
I just wanted people to dissect the topic and give their views on the workability of the marriage in this much stereotyped part of the world.
Thanks for dropping by

See, if you listen to all the noise that people make, you will never achieve anything worthwhile. The people who call ladies gold diggers don't even have iron talk much of gold. Have you ever heard a matured, confident and well-to-do man insult a lady? Pls, I will advice that you do whatever makes you happy. You will never do anything worthwhile if you keep listening to all the noise, I repeat.

I like the whole older men marriage but then I think there should be a limit, jeeez 50years? And you fancy him?
Well ofcourse you should because he shows you all the cares and interests but doesnt mean you should marry him just to return his favour of caring about you
We dont want our kids referring to their fathers as Grandpas!
Asides that, I wanna be proud to walk around anywhere with my man!
And ofcourse I heard far older men are..

tpiadotcom:



your choices are yours, you dont really need anybody's opinion for your decisions insofar as you are not violating any ethical or moral codes.

live and let live.

Gbam!!

In addition, do not let it appear like you do not have a mind of your own. Marriage is between two people and no matter what anyone says, you will always be responsible for any choice you make.

Sinaj haba u be agbaya ooooo

sinaj:


nigga plz add 'n' to ya see to make it 'seen'

u shud bother more on English grammar nd bother less bout me

tpiadotcom:



your choices are yours, you dont really need anybody's opinion for your decisions insofar as you are not violating any ethical or moral codes.

live and let live.

Yes but this isn't about me. I am with a much younger man and my wedding is coming up soon, I only storified it and even gave two scenarios. It was just a thought running through my mind after a discussion I had with a friend.
Thanks for your contributions

Tashaamania:
I like the whole older men marriage but then I think there should be a limit, jeeez 50years? And you fancy him?
Well ofcourse you should because he shows you all the cares and interests but doesnt mean you should marry him just to return his favour of caring about you
We dont want our kids referring to their fathers as Grandpas!
Asides that, I wanna be proud to walk around anywhere with my man!
And ofcourse I heard far older men are..

Lol As you can see, this is Tasha's opinion, Tasha will make her choices based on this.
What of you Remsonic, will you make your choices based on what everyone feels/say/do or what you actually want.
Your life, your choice!

Agba ko kon ogbon


Agba wa ninu omokeekere


Omode wa ninu agba


OP tell someone to translate it

olaxco2f:
Sinaj haba u be agbaya ooooo

meanin


i wish u d xme

Tashaamania:
I like the whole older men marriage but then I think there should be a limit, jeeez 50years? And you fancy him?
Well ofcourse you should because he shows you all the cares and interests but doesnt mean you should marry him just to return his favour of caring about you
We dont want our kids referring to their fathers as Grandpas!
Asides that, I wanna be proud to walk around anywhere with my man!
And ofcourse I heard far older men are..

Well thanks for your contributions
I know those marriages might not be as sweet as it seems with old age advancing.

Why u spot the "n" wey no dey there mana

Maka why??

sinaj:


meanin


i wish u d xme

olaxco2f:
Agba ko kon ogbon


Agba wa ninu omokeekere


Omode wa ninu agba


OP tell someone to translate it

Well I understand what you mean perfectly. I just wanted people to discuss the topic and share useful opinions/ insights.
Thanks for dropping by

remsonik:

Well thanks for your contributions
I know those marriages might not be as sweet as it seems with old age advancing.

Spot on!
Trust me, older men are never as romantic as the younger guys..
I dont know about you, but I like my man with the whole swaggs, we play like kids, do fun stuffs, take funny face selfies , throw things at each other, steal each other's icecream, play PS with each other and then I try to cheat him while we play, and so on... Even in marriages, we still act like bf and gf, he calls me 'babe', I call him 'dude'
Thats what I call a funfilled and romantic relationship, it gets better everyday and I love it!!!
An older man can never do this, Where's the energy? They are boring..

standd:



Lol As you can see, this is Tasha's opinion, Tasha will make her choices based on this.
What of you Remsonic, will you make your choices based on what everyone feels/say/do or what you actually want.
Your life, your choice!