Ladies are you paying attention because I shall say this only once and I believe once is enough for you. I mean, a word is enough for the wise and this is why wise people only speak once. Yes, a wise man once said this.

Most of you women just believe that because we are men, we are automatically some form of robot that can do anything and should in fact do everything. I’m sorry o but that’s far from the reality. Matter of fact, this is why some men have decided to be feminine seeing as they can’t cope with the demands of manhood. This has nothing to do with penis length. Thanks. As Nigerian men, here’s a list of some things you shouldn’t expect or ask us to do, please and thank you.

1. OPEN DOORS: Now don’t get it twisted, I know some of you are already like “it’s a lie, my man opens doors for me all the time. Well, yeah, it could be that his locks are special, the car door is faulty or you’re a new girlfriend. But here’s where I need you to think carefully; Your man opens the car door for you when you’re getting in right? Does he open it as well after the drive is done? I can bet my 3 month income that he doesn’t. Are you even mad? So you’ll get to the destination and you’ll sit still like unmoving waters and wait for him to come round to open the door? No really? You don’t feel like a waste? LOL, stop watching these movies girl, it don’t happen. You better flex your right arm, reach out to the door handle, pull and get your butt off that seat. Or if it’s a special edition ride, ask him for the ‘window winder,’ reach outside the window, locate the door handle and then pull. Sometimes your shoulder might be needed to complete the door opening procedure


2. Kill cockroaches and huge fucking spiders:
Baby, the last time I checked, I was an Engineer not a Pest/Rodent Control Officer. The Bible even says “…and God made man in His image after His own likeness…” “…and gave them dominion…” Dominion is derived from the Greek word *look up the Greek word and insert here* which means ‘dominate.’This domination was given to both man and woman so I don’t understand why it has all of a sudden become my duty to kill roaches and seek out rats. I don’t see the problem these guys are bringing our way. Do you see them with guns or bombs? They really aren’t a bother so why should we seek to cut their life short? I suggest a negotiation system. How about you leave the room and allow me reason with these guys? I’m sure we can reach some form of agreement. Pushing me to kill or tossing a slipper at me to handle the issue isn’t the best. PS: If we’re talking about flying roaches though, can we discuss this in some other room?

3. Nigerian men are not Investigators: So it’s 2am and we slept off after some hot-like-egusi sex and somehow you don’t sleep deep so you heard a sound originating from outside or downstairs. Two questions:

– Why did you wake me?

– Did the sound call my or your name?

– Do I look like I major in handling sounds?

– Why the Bleep didn’t you just go check for yourself since you’re so attached to sounds?

I know that’s four questions, sorry this issue pains me. I mean, let sounds be. If you’re scared, just squeeze closer to me, hold me tighter. It helps if you’re sleeping naked as this gesture will arouse me and before you know it, we begin to make sounds of our own. Let us use sounds to eradicate the fear of sounds. Please, haven’t you seen that those who go to investigate sounds end up dead? Please biko, I still want to live this life.

4. Nigerian men can’t have abs, a baritone voice and beards:

So you better “pick your choose2 very carefully. You women just think you can replace “tall, dark and handsome” with “beard, build and baritone” without sending a request to the Federal Senate? You can’t. It’s not done. Now I’m an exception, I mean I’ve got all three (shut up, I do) but the average Nigerian guy has the beard (most of you are just struggling but we’ll allow you), the build? Well not with those pot bellies that lead you around and abeg sounding like a conductor isn’t really baritone. So women, choose one.


5. Nigerian men won’t allow you drive their new car in his absence:
Yes you’re the boo but baby, his ride is his gem. It’s not like what is his isn’t yours but see yeah? If you now bash the car, what will you say? Sorry? S-O-R-R-Y? You will now do face like a caught puppy and expect him to react? If your man lets you drive his new car, just know that if you bash it, you have to say ‘yes’ when he asks you to marry him, and note: he won’t ask kneeling down.

Of course there are other things Nigerian men can’t/won’t do but space hinders me from mentioning them all, I know some might wanna mention eating ass but I really know nothing ‘bout that shit and I don’t want to make unfounded assumptions.

Cheers yo!


Source

CC: Lalasticlala

I'm a nigerian man and I will do dat, speak for yasef.

Bravooo!!!

ROTFL @ "..Use sounds to eradicate the fear of sounds."

I enjoyed every bit of the sarcasm bruv!! Nice write up.

Kindly tell Oga Ade above to take a chill pill, no one gives a *censored*

ROTFL

Now that's just mean! No. 3 had me laughing so hard that I fell from my bed. Op I swear u mean sha.

Nice one! *wipes tears from my eyes*

Twaci:
ROTFL

Now that's just mean! No. 3 had me laughing so hard that I fell from my bed. Op I swear u mean sha.

Nice one! *wipes tears from my eyes*

do u always cry wen u laff

.

dahreyM:
I'm a nigerian man and I will do dat, speak for yasef.

So you be door man ba

Twaci:
ROTFL

Now that's just mean! No. 3 had me laughing so hard that I fell from my bed. Op I swear u mean sha.

Nice one! *wipes tears from my eyes*

I would have given you handky o but as a Nigerian man all I will say is "Ndo Nne "

Some Nigeria ladies sha lol

#waka pass

Number 5

Too much of Mexican love movies ... Is brainwashing our women ... Make Buhari Ban am sef

Fact is that most men are not romantic


It kills!

can do all that except the last..

My ride/ My pet..
hey this is My brand new Rolls royce We talking abouh here ?

I don't c wat stop me from doing no 1 for my girl. It's gentlemanly.

Sometimes I dey blame God for creating me for Naija because of Naija ladies .Why God no troway me to European countries make he create me dia
To do this things no be problem but person wey u dey do amu for go dey take you for mugun, I tire for Naija ladies walahi .If you show care for them, they will take you for fool
You see say kingtom never marry,the mumu dey fear Naija babes.We dey plan to arrange babe for him for Burundi

naijaboiy:

And how have you,,as a woman shown how romantic you are to your man?

Always say what you can do.

It is an undisputable fact. Women are full of emotions and by default tend to be romantic.

Truth is that before the man put the ring on it, he was often opening the doors, sending her love texts, buying her gifts even doing the dishes and laundry for her...

For me, I believe men should keep on with the things the did while courting their wives even in the marriage. It keeps the romance alive!

As for your question, I know women who text their husbands or even drop love notes in their suit pockets or steering wheels. Well,my aunt for one

And now the boys start talking

naijaboiy:

And how have you,,as a woman shown how romantic you are to your man?

Always say what you can do.

#Gbam!!

That's why most relationships hit the rocks pretty quick. The man is expected to do everything, be romantic, be this, be that, etc. The lady is supposed to be at the receiving end.

Ask them what they bring to the relationship and they would be like, my time, my support, my care, bla bla bla.

Utter Rubbish!!!

I could never understood why Nigerian men do not have bass in their voice!

When you talk to them on the phone...you don't know if it is a woman or man! How can someone takes Nigerian men serious when they sounds like Mariah Carey?

Jennimma:
Fact is that most men are not romantic


It kills!

What is your definition of "Romance "?....cos I know say e dey differ from babe to babe.

hahahahahahahahaha...Nigerian men are gradually taking over the thread.#funny#.






number 3 is quite funny...why won't I wake him up when I hear sounds?

kinglekan:



#Gbam!!

That's why most relationships hit the rocks pretty quick. The man is expected to do everything, be romantic, be this, be that, etc. The lady is supposed to be at the receiving end.

Ask them what they bring to the relationship and they would be like, my time, my support, my care, bla bla bla.

Utter Rubbish!!!

The same things you guys put on women and many of it is unrealistic! Here we have a dumb as saying leave your woman because she burned the plaintans but you bishing about being romantic? Romance is different for everyone but everyone seek it!

Lmao