Heureaux:
this ur english eh,fit make blind man see

Shebarh:
maybe

bomasek:
Problem with chicks like this is even with the warning/danger signs,they won't wanna quit the r/ship. Dude is loaded and she's afraid she may miss all the perks she's getting now. Look for a single guy and quit fuc.king him cause am so sure u guys v done the needful several times. If u can't get a single guy,PM me. Will fuc.k u till someone u wanna settle down with comes along d way

kponkedenge:
@ OP
What makes you think he doesn't love his wife? Someone he has three kids with? If you know what's best for you, you better not get yourself pregnant for him. There are lot of single men out there, find one for yourself, don't get into what you'll only end up regretting later.
A word is enough for the wise!

VICTORIA91:
Dear NL,

I'm 25 years old, I met this guy online via chatting and before i knew, we met and we fell deeply in love.This guy is irresistible when we met and i never prayed for something more, because he was so caring, lovely and loving, not only that he is so tall and handsome as i have always prayed for. After a month we knew each other better and every minute i rang him up, he later told me and revealed to me everything about him, because he is not the flamboyant type of guy, i hardly notice that he is loaded.

At age 33 he has a lot of properties and work with a Ministry in Lagos, seconded employment with one int'l institution, he got me int'l passport and took me out of Nigeria shore for the first time in my life. I am from an average family and I'm not easily moved with material things, I'm a working class lady earning moderate salary and living well, i had a relationship before him but not a stable one.

He later revealed to me that he has something to tell me that might tear us apart, i made up my mind since it would not lead to my death, i bet i have reached my bus stop, because he is also in love with me. What a perfect match!. Until the day he bursted it out that he is married with kids and he was sweating and breathing so restlessly, waiting for me to breakup with him, i reassured him i will still love him at that, he explained he impregnated the girl and his family forced him to marry the girl...in short, three kids, two boys and a girl from the woman,(first boy and a twins).

I almost fainted, but pretended as if all is well, at least he still managed to tell me to let me decide to continue or not. We both continued and this month make our 6th month and he is already talking about our marriage, he tried divorcing the first wife, but get warned to let her be to make peace reign, i noticed he loves me so much and also loves his children too well too. He is traveling out soon to study for his PH.D. He wants me to get pregnant for him and do the needful with my family and declare his intentions of taking me as his second wife to his first wife and family...But at this stage i have doubting mind maybe i'm ready to go on or not..i don't feel like ruining the woman's home, and i don't feel like losing this my sweet love, he is not forcing me and he wants me to decide for myself....

Please help me dearies, abuse are allowed at least maybe it will straighten my brain..but i sincerely love him, he promised to settle me down in another state and assured me that all will be well.The issue is i'm so CONFUSED.

MrsChima:
It is okay to fall in love but you don't have to act on those feelings. I have had thoughts of killing a bish and felt like killing the bish but, I didn't act on it.

Apply that and move on. You will always be second fiddle.

Truckpusher:
The laws of the land supersedes that of the church.

The marriage act that was enacted years back isn't even at a loggerhead with the old customary court as long as the three different conditions are met, the same court where you did your court wedding still recognizes the same polygamy.

The factors are namely :

1) If the second marriage is not for repugnance to punish the first wife.
2) Abandoning your primary obligation to your first wife
3) And if your culture accepts polygamy
Once these three factors are well demonstrated in their perfect order then anyone in this country can have a second wife even an affair and if push comes to shove he would claim that marriage is what he is pursuing.

Women should do more and demand that such laws should be scrapped and not trying to arm-twist innocent men to stop exercising their right that was bestowed upon them by the culture and the system.

cheyi:
THE TRUTH...DIG DEEPER ABOUT HIM..FIND OUT IF HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH.ALL THAT GLITTERS ARE NOT GOLD.YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR DECISION COS WHAT YOU DECIDE NOW IS A PATH TO YOUR DESTINY..NO BIG DEAL IN BECOMING A SECOND WIFE,IT HAPPENS.ALL THAT MATTERS IS JUST YOUR HAPPINESS.HOWEVER,YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN DESTINED THAT YOU WILL BE A SECOND WIFE IN LIFE.ARE U A CHRISTIAN OR MUSLIM,WHY NOT SEEK SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE AND LET YOUR PASTOR OR IMAM TELL YOU ABOUT THE UNSEEN CHALLENGES LIKELY TO BE FACED WITHOUT ANY FORM OF BIAS MINDS..I DON'T HAVE ANY BUT JUST TELLING YOU THE STEPS YOU CAN TAKE.I HAVE FEMALE FRIENDS AND YOUNGER ONES I HAVE ADVISED AND THEY ARE DOING WELL TODAY.
IM NOT A PASTOR OR SPIRITUALIST BUT I THINK I HAVE A GIFT IN HANDLING RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE ISSUES.

U CAN STIL WHATSAPP ME MICHAEL(08082201708).NO CALLS PLEASE..IM MARRIED..THANK YOU

..

Sabrwahaqqo:
Its no biggie ! You won't be the first or last second wife

ezechima132:
-gggggggggggggggg

freecocoa:
Smh.

Like it's not you men that make such selfish laws and if men stopped being d1cks, we won't need to fight for such laws to be scrapped because they are already as good as useless anyways, this talk don dey vex me sef.

dexcira:
lmao. Seriously I fink it does

zanga420:
its ok babe. Thank God u stl have some conscience left. Its always better to be no1, so the choice is urs.
As for those castigating her, there're thousands of married aristos n sugar daddies out there with numerous sidechicks attached to each n every of them. Pls are those sidechicks ghosts or some of them are not on NL or among those insulting the op? Pls the insulters(insulting the op) should spare us of their hypocritical attitude, abeg.

Truckpusher:
This isn't about men being diicks and making selfish laws.

It is high time women should demand that such laws should be totally scrapped but again we've seen how women are taking men to the cleaners where those laws were made to protect them in the first place.

If you ask me, I would say that marriage should be on a contract basis, with each partner contributing equally in everything to enable anyone walk away whenever they feel like.How about that?

ezechima132:
[color=#990000][/color]

hear me and hear me well, polygamy is not a sin as long u are properly married as the second second wive before having sex with him, and as long as the first wive is not divorced or chased away by her husband,unles she wishes to leave so by her self............. THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD. PASTOR HAMELECH says so.

VICTORIA91:
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE N INSULTS(LIKE I SAID INSULTS ARE ALLOWED,because MOST NL ADVICE ARE ABUSIVELY MOLDED)SINCERELY SPEAKING .....I appreciate this forum and all d pple dat replied, thou some tout is a make up story, but you really can't tell how you've all saved a confused soul.More grease to ur elbow the moderators.MY HEAD IS STRAIGHTEN NOW.

freecocoa:
I don't know about marriage being on a contract basis, I was saying the other day that it should be according to how the parties involved want it, I don't know why anyone should go into a marriage bearing in mind to walk away but different strokes for different folks, even if a marriage goes south, I expect that the parties involved should be able to handle things reasonably, then again, I always make the mistake of thinking people are reasonable.

I do agree that it's best that both parties contribute but when you start treating a marriage like a competition, then you've missed it somewhere, I believe a marriage should be based on love, understanding, compatibility and mutual respect, I don't see how you won't be okay if you both have these.

Marry a person who wants mostly the same things as you, there's a higher chance of your marriage working out that way.

Truckpusher:
Smh

freecocoa:
You do want to get married, right? If yes, please tell me why?

Truckpusher:
Lol, see conclusion.

*Tongue is tied*

freecocoa:
I never conclude o, that's why I asked.

Na you conclude as you dey shake head at me, so untie your tongue.

Truckpusher:
I was actually shaking my head because I was amazed by what you wrote down there even as I'm still not a fan.

freecocoa:
A fan of gini?

Truckpusher:
Rapu m' aka biko!

Mmeru kini?

freecocoa:
Okwa gi.

Iburo ezigbo nmadu.

freecocoa:
I don't know about marriage being on a contract basis, I was saying the other day that it should be according to how the parties involved want it, I don't know why anyone should go into a marriage bearing in mind to walk away but different strokes for different folks, even if a marriage goes south, I expect that the parties involved should be able to handle things reasonably, then again, I always make the mistake of thinking people are reasonable.

I do agree that it's best that both parties contribute but when you start treating a marriage like a competition, then you've missed it somewhere, I believe a marriage should be based on love, understanding, compatibility and mutual respect, I don't see how you won't be okay if you both have these.

Marry a person who wants mostly the same things as you, there's a higher chance of your marriage working out that way.

Truckpusher:
Abum ezigbo mmadu.