This post has opened by eyes to a lot of issues in my relationship and I'm glad about that. I have never abused my partner (using the words fool, crazy, mad etc) however sometimes when exchanging banter I know I can be quite annoying. A lot of the replies here from the men sums up how he feels when I overstep my boundary. I now know how to act when my joke isn't a joke to him.

@ jack ur definitely not a man,ur scary and u dont desreve a girl

@ jack
u are a coward shikenah!
how can u raise your hand on a woman no matter wat?ppl like u end up raising trouble makers as children 'cos all u teach them is how 2 defend themselves with their fist and they end up being a bully, even to their husbands _{nobody likes them}.

matured minds talk things out, if u know you cant bear the insults then walk away
and give her a red card if u think the insults mean so much more to U than HER.

I once called ma b/f _barawo, it was just a joke i dint really mean he's a thief, it was just wat he said that made me call him that. do u know wat he did?
he told me immediately neva to use such word to qualify him again cos he doesnt like the meaning. i felt bad cos i didn't expect him to react that way.we didn't talk till d nxt day. he called me in d morning and said he's sorry.
he didnt say dat cos he was wrong he said it to make peace reign and I respect him for that.
for married people since u didnt see all d traits in him or her b4 u got married, mayb u should ask urself wat u're doin wrongly or u need to start a fresh learning process.

as for me I will forgive anyone that insults me, and chose if we will continue to be friends.

why cant i forgive her?

i can even forgive the devil for making hell an option for me.

theres nothing in this world that cant be forgiven. thats what me i believe oh!

why should you even be beating someone who is noty yet your wife? even though shes your wife you have no right. patapata leave the arena for the she devil.

shilees:

@ jack
u are a coward shikenah!
how can u raise your hand on a woman no matter wat?ppl like u end up raising trouble makers as children 'cos all u teach them is how 2 defend themselves with their fist and they end up being a bully, even to their husbands _{nobody likes them}.

matured minds talk things out, if u know you cant bear the insults then walk away
and give her a red card if u think the insults mean so much more to U than HER.

I[b] once called ma b/f _barawo[/b], it was just a joke i dint really mean[b] he's a thief[/b], it was just wat he said that made me call him that. do u know wat he did?
he told me immediately neva to use such word to qualify him again cos he doesnt like the meaning. i felt bad cos i didn't expect him to react that way.we didn't talk till d nxt day. he called me in d morning and said he's sorry.
he didnt say dat cos he was wrong he said it to make peace reign and I respect him for that.
for married people since u didnt see all d traits in him or her b4 u got married, mayb u should ask urself wat u're doin wrongly or u need to start a fresh learning process.

as for me I will forgive anyone that insults me, and chose if we will continue to be friends.

You called your Boyfriend a theif (Barawo) and he apologised to you the next day because he said he donesn’t like that name.  In other word he took back his word (He is now confortable with you calling him Barawo next time) hence you have to use your discretion.

Well i can't comment on your boyfriend. Indidivual differences.

You are a female, you don’t know how it feels been insulted, it is like putting up with a man that beats you on daily bases, there is no difference to me. I can forgive anyone for anything but i can NEVER EVER put up with an abusive lady.

Some words hurt like a hot knife driven through butter. Certain things can not be forgiven. You must work and be seen to have worked for his forgiveness.

^{Well i can't comment on your boyfriend. Indidivual differences.}

u don't have to say anything.
he didn't take back his words he proved a point, is a  respectable person dat does dat.

well, i will easily forgive her, there is no problem without a solution. though, to err is woman, but to forgive is divine as the saying goes. despite the fact, i will a place in my heart to forgive her.

@shilees Frankly speaking, calling your BF a barawo playfully does not make you an abusive lady, but if you did that seriously, then it is something else. This tread addresses issues that has to do with verbal abuse from women and it is not acceptable in any form.

If you have done it in the past desist from it.

@yeswecan
am not abusive and i dnt call ppl names am only giving an instance
^{& why are u picking on me?}

@shilees am not picking on you, besides you sounded like a nice girl. I just taught you were trying to casualize the subject matter and its not acceptable

shilees:


if u know you cant bear the insults then walk away
and give her a red card if u think the insults mean so much more to U than HER.

since u didnt see all d traits in him or her b4 u got married, mayb u should ask urself wat u're doin wrongly or u need to start a fresh learning process.
.

.


With both statements you tried so hard to justify an abusive lady.

Nigeria is one of the countries in the world where men grow up to learn to hit women, in many oda places, its a serious offence to hit a lady and u might be jailed 4 dat, if a woman is abusive,be a gentle man,speak ur mind in few words and walk out without hitting her even if she keeps abusing, if she comes pleading,4 me i wuld never give her a 2nd chance cos an abusive girlfriend is not my idea of a girlfriend,

@Pascal8888 and yeswecan
I'm not talking about an abusive lady, one that it's in her blood, i was talking about a lady that her man frustrated her n one day, she exploded with words,


@Feelitz

How would one be able to work for the man's forgiveness?

@eyeshadow

I'm glad it did so we women can start acting like the men, most men, just walk out on them when frustrated.

Forgive her if she apologizes.

Diva1:

@Pascal8888 and yeswecan
I'm not talking about an abusive lady, one that it's in her blood, i was talking about a lady that her man frustrated her n one day, she exploded with words,
I'm glad it did so we women can start acting like the men, most men, just walk out on them when frustrated.

What’s the difference? If she does it once, she will do it again. Abuse is not acceptable whether once in a year or once in a life time.

Love is patient and slow to anger and quick to forgiveness

so if you really love your partner you would think about what you say before you say it - you will consider your words and their feelings carefully.

if you do however accidentally hurt their feelings (as we are human) by what you say - so great and genuine will your remorse be that if they truely loce you, one look at your remorse and they will forgive you shortly

when you both understand each other and have LOVE and RESPECT for each other - what you do and who you are then all falls into place. you won't even have nasty arguments - you will both learn the best way to deal with each other's moods and temparaments etc,

the problem is people DO NOT TRY TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BEFORE MARRIAGE, yet they try to change their partner,and have unrealistic expectations after marriage - e.g if you have loud, mouthy girlfriend that you feel you can not handle, what makes you think she will be different as a wife?

@Diva1,

You must know your man more than anyone of us out here. I had earlier told you that you need to work for forgiveness by doing something extra-ordinary. You need to show remorse,you need to bring someone you man respects greatly on board. If you can convince the man your guy respects the most,then you already have your man back.

Listen to Luxoire, she made a great deal of sense.

Nah Bleep forgiving such a thing

Forgiveness is for the weak.

Feelitx:


Listen to Luxoire, she made a great deal of sense.

thanks Feelitx

Blood_Shed:

Nah mess forgiving such a thing

Forgiveness is for the weak.

I'm sure you meant for the strong 'cos it's only a strong person that could be willing to let go of something horrible.


Thanks guys for your inputs though more are welcomed too , He actually forgave me, but considering the circumstances that surrounded such, I think, I need a lil time for my self also, let him show me something too.

@Luxoire
U sure did make sense with your words.

Diva1:

I'm sure you meant for the strong 'cos it's only a strong person that could be willing to let go of something horrible.


Thanks guys for your inputs though more are welcomed too , He actually forgave me, but considering the circumstances that surrounded such, I think, I need a lil time for my self also, let him show me something too.

@Luxoire
U sure did make sense with your words.

Typical of women. lol
So it is your own turn to do shakara!
I no go die

agabaI23:

Typical of women. lol
So it is your own turn to do shakara!
I no go die

Of cause now- I cried my eyes out, begged, begged and begged, then he forgives me, what next? , but seriously looking at it from the beginning, he was the cause just because I wanted to see him. It's my turn now, if he wants to see me. I'm just gonna lay low.

Good to hear that he has forgiven you,but what message are you trying to send by laying low? This is the time to show hin how much you value him. It should work more to your advantage.

Keep loving him up girl.

Diva1:

I'm sure you meant for the strong 'cos it's only a strong person that could be willing to let go of something horrible.


Thanks guys for your inputs though more are welcomed too , He actually forgave me, but considering the circumstances that surrounded such, I think, I need a lil time for my self also, let him show me something too.

@Luxoire
U sure did make sense with your words.

i am sure you ahve learnt from your mistakes and will consider your words carefully - Men unlike women get hurt easily (especially their pride and ego) but they hide it better and overcome it quickly too.
Women show it more and hold it in for longer, but they tolerate a lot more

Feelitx:

Good to hear that he has forgiven you,but what message are you trying to send by laying low? This is the time to show hin how much you value him. It should work more to your advantage.

Keep loving him up girl.

First of all, he was the cause of my frustration. Before the incident occured, he failed 4 times to show up and then the incident happened. I had to beg, beg and cry for so long just for him to forgive me and now he has. What more can I do? He is meant to show me something at least, letting me know how he feels and his cause to frustrate me if he really cares.
What more can I do? How else can I win over?

Na wah o! Lets take this scenario:

Lets assume a babe catches her bloke almost maked with another chic, are you saying if she gives him a piece of her mind she is wrong, abusive or her anger is not justified? Would you expect her to smile, give him a round of appaluse, burst into tears & run or fold her arms & watch? Make una talk true, no lying o! Ehen!

I believe, there is no smoke without fire.

If you don't want your babe to cuss you out, then respect yahself by doing things right.

Same goes for the ladies, if you don't want your man to cuss you out, please don't make him mad.

You can't keep behaving like a jerk by messing up, and expect people to label you as a saint, or treat you like an angel.

Am outta here.

long time laudate

word! laudate

if i were to be a guy
i would 4give if she's not the type that does that always . but if her hubby is to shower insults on me like God bless our lives wit rain, then- ----------- well i can't even date such before before

Diva1,

Remember, I never validated the guy's inconsistencies.I was more into you getting him back and having a rewarding relationship. Any time not spent in loving is wasted girl.