He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. - Romance (8) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. (8812 Views)
I Lost My Man Because I Slept With So Many Men - The Real Reason He Left!!! / I Cant Break Up With Her...need Your Advice Pls / Big Problem, Do I Get Away From Her? Need Help From Any Mature Women/men... :/ (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by IyaKadijat(f): 5:58am On Apr 30, 2009 |
@outlaws-I noticed you commented on the way I dress-need I remind you a picture is just a snapshot in a moment of time. I had just come from the club on my birthday with my friends in that photo-it's not like I dress like that to go to the store or to work or anything. LOL! And what ways should I change exactly? Aside from the fact that I should be very weary when ANY kind of foreigner approaches me, I think there is nothing wrong with my "ways". I go to work, school and I take care of my daughter. I just moved to this city 3 years ago and just bought the house I live in 2 1/2 months ago-I'm not relocating ANYWHERE. Besides why would I purposely move my daughter away from her father? He might be a prick when it comes to relationships, but he is still her father(and a very good father might I add). |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by outlaws(m): 6:00am On Apr 30, 2009 |
 To:yaKadijat: I understood your point but green card is not citizenship. You hooked up with him when he had his green card not when he already have his citizenship. I am not blaming you or the guy. I am also not saying the guy did a good thing. I am just saying he did something bad that any careless lady could have fallen victim. You cant trust his friends in this issue. You can only go by your instints and hear what his enemies have to say. His friends already know the deal so they wouldn't want to screw him up. His enemies are the ones that can give you some info. that might be helpful. How could you have prevented this issue? 1] You could have visited his parents back home and ask questions but you didn't have the cash. Maybe you weren't ready to settle down. Marriage is not a joke so you need to be ready for it emotionally and financially. Assuming you went to nigeria, his family may lie to you but their neighbors will not. You could have told him that you will be going to nigeria to meet his family and verify with his neighbors to see if he had any wife just incase even though you don't plan just to see how he will react to it. You don't expect him to tell you the truth, you just have to use your insticts to put the truth together. I think this is the one spot you missed big time. I know I can think of one or two but this is a big part. Hooking up with some one who already have their citizenship and going home to his village is what you missed. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by IyaKadijat(f): 6:07am On Apr 30, 2009 |
outlaws: I wish we got that far to marriage, but we never did. Every time I would mention it, he would say he wasn't ready yet, or he was scared to get married because of all the bad stories he heard about divorce and alimony or whatever. But in the end, he would always promise that he wanted to marry me "one day". And I'm not even sure that his neighbors would have said anything to me even if I did have the money-he's from Lagos-a city I hear that's equivelant to the population of NY, so that would have been fun to try, lol! |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by ThiefOfHearts(f): 6:08am On Apr 30, 2009 |
outlaws: There you go. anyway what she needs to do is find a way around the whole thing where money that should go to both of them will go to her and her kid. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by IyaKadijat(f): 6:18am On Apr 30, 2009 |
Let me ask yall a question. How would have whether or not he had his citizenship at the time I met him changed anything? The only difference would have been the amount of time he lied to me. Instead of a painful 8 years, it would have been a painful 2-3 years until he brought his wife here-and I would have had our daughter by that time. In other words, he would have still lied! This is so frustrating to have to keep going through this. I am already hurting badly from what I'm going through because everything is still so fresh-and when I wrote the original thread I was hurting even more. I guess I was just trying some self therapy and needed someone to talk to. This is the internet, so I totally don't expect everyone to agree with me, but I also didn't expect to be attacked for things that were not my fault. This is crazy and you 2 are actually making me feel worse and I'm crying right now. I am just going to pray for you and hope you find something in your hearts to forgive me since I've wronged you sooo badly. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by outlaws(m): 6:31am On Apr 30, 2009 |
| You didn't insult me or anything like that. Do you want me to act nice or do you want me to tell you the truth? Truth hurts so I have had my dissapointments with women and I have learned from it. Just like you would be hurt by this situation and you will have to learn from it and be able to act smarter. You need a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. But it will take time before you will feel okay about it. But the worse could have happened. So you should be thankful in some ways. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by Hauwa1: 6:34am On Apr 30, 2009 |
IyaK, don't make it hard on yourself. Pick up the pieces and move on (good thing you've already started). When you have the money, seek counseling. Outlaw, the man does not really need her for his papers. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by prittigrrr(f): 8:31am On Apr 30, 2009 |
Dear Iyakadijat: Sweetheart, I know you started this thread as a way to vent and for support and prayers. I believe many ppl here are giving that. Many others are also doling out blame to u 2. Some have given contructive criticism to help u analyze and move on. Others r just mean for whatever reason. Remember that what matters is U. U don't have to keep defending yourself. U know what happened, why and how. Keep what u can use, discard what u cant and use what u have 2 move on and thrive. Baby girl, I want u 2 win this. Remember u r a winner and no 1 can hurt u unless u allow it 2 b so. Be in it 2 win it. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by spikedcylinder: 9:35am On Apr 30, 2009 |
prittigrrr: Gbam! Thats all she needs, constructive criticism, not name calling and ego bashing. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by oYaTo(m): 10:15am On Apr 30, 2009 |
prittigrrr: correct yarns. . @IyaKadijat Most of these new posters only read your first post, and are ranting on you over here  , u don't have to keep defending yourself. Just know what you want for yourself and your daughter and take active steps towards achieving them. Wish u good luck!  spikedcylinder: The way some pple have gone about it over here, you'll think they have a personal vendetta against her or sth |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by JJYOU: 10:38am On Apr 30, 2009 |
oYaTo:i was getting worried about her replying everyone. this is your issue. men and women do this wickedness all the time. here in the uk when some men/ women were in the position to pay off people and get on with thier lives some choose to go into relationships. sadly the case is now the reverse as i see most of our people who got papers this way now being used and dumbed by others. history has a way of repeating itself. be very sure you reap what you sow the bible says. prayers may go unanswered seeds always produce after its kind. Galatians 6:7-9 (New Living Translation) we remembered you in our prayers that God would heal your heart and give you peace. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by prittigrrr(f): 12:09pm On Apr 30, 2009 |
@JJYOU, yours is the truest post yet imo. We all will reap what we sow. My grandma says if you sow the wind, you will reap the whirlwind. We all get repaid with far more than the seed we put in the ground. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by ThiefOfHearts(f): 3:26pm On Apr 30, 2009 |
Keep on yarning dust and dont give the woman better advice. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by amebono13: 3:35pm On Apr 30, 2009 |
is this thread still on e never reach two months wey dis thread dey hiaaaaaa?  |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by NOIBMUUL(m): 4:13pm On Apr 30, 2009 |
the whole story is fake!!! so fabricated, and if its real, then its the effect of AFRICAN REMOTE CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by FADAKA: 7:48pm On Apr 30, 2009 |
@NOIBMUUL, What gave you impresion her story is a fake? Maybe you need to know, The story happen in State and nothing is new in everything she been saying. All along she seems much more open and honest with all her story so far. Remember life is all about "Over and Acceptance" |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by unfaded(m): 8:02pm On Apr 30, 2009 |
she has always being the other woman, the man just went back to his wife, period! |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by kalmebad(f): 5:10pm On May 06, 2009 |
@poster Most people have said it all, what more can i say? Your story is indeed a sad one, we only learn and get better/wiser The reason y some people find it difficult to trust, i for one hardly trust any more, takes a g8 deal Be blessed for your good heart, leave vengeance for God, He is already fighting your battle Some men are callous and have no heart, Some get married over there, come back here to deceive us,pretending they were never married, so also imagine that "NKEIRUKA , (THE FUTURE IS GREATER) let the past settle, it's only matter of time to let go, WONT HURT 4EVER. So i can't blame u going back having sex, for someone u have been with for the past 8years, not so easy to let go just like that, but to that i will advice never again Be strong for yourself, time heals all wound, i bet he will be miserable for the rest of his life, not a curse but true word Our prayers are with u, and also know that not all Nigerian men are that callous, there are still people with consciences ok |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by C2H5OH(f): 8:46am On May 09, 2009 |
If he left you for her, leave him for her. Let her deal with his trifling ass. |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by Smi1(m): 4:42am On Mar 05, 2010 |
@poster, your story realy made me melt !! I'm very sorry for your situation   |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by poro: 8:21am On Mar 05, 2010 |
u know the way out, u need to continue in ur good spirit, be a super woman lik alisha keys sang about, dont mind what people say your priority should be ur daughter, he messed up the whole thing by not telling u about the other woman, liars r not good to hook with, define ur new status with him let him know where he belongs but dont rush into anything to spite him cos u will end up hurting urself, one thing i know is he will come back cos the other woman is a liabilty to him but be objective when he comes dont rush into his arms liars dont stop lying, just keep working on hw u get urself independent and start a new life, when the right time come u let ur daugther know the whole gist , even islam wouldnt support the manner in which he went about the whole thing cos the prophet distaste liars, may Allah guide u aright, Amen |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by cemyke: 2:10pm On Dec 04, 2010 |
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| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by demi2008(f): 6:03pm On Dec 09, 2010 |
Okunrin |
| Re: He Left Me For Her: Need Your Prayers E Jo. by happyhomeo(m): 2:12am On Aug 14, 2011 |
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