Caracta:


According to you, she is very respectful. I think that covers the age gap.

IMO, she is a good lady. Many would give anything to have a wife with those qualities even if she cannot write letter O with a bottle. Most importantly, she has to love you enough to see the future with you and agree to the changes.

Would she make you happy, proud and at peace even without good command of English and proper education (let's assume the approach failed)? If not, please marry a Professor.

hmm

Well,if you really want her to be yours,the 'four flaws' like you listed,can be worked on.
Good luck on that mission.

Iamthewatcher:
I met my fiancee some few yrs ago. I've agreed to marry her but there are factors I still want to give a final consideration before signing the dotted lines. These are:

1. She is not literate but willing to go to school. I never dreamt of marrying an illiterate when I, myself is a graduate. Her waec result is nothing to write home about. In fact she wasted her time in secondary school as far as I'm concerned and when I asked her why she was such an olodo, she quickly blamed those she lived with. She said because she was more or less a maid then, she hadn't much time for her studies and that's why she failed woefully. When I met her, her use of english was zero and I had to exert much effort to bring her to the level where she could converse freely with me at least in english. She retook her ssce and credited all subjects except math.

2. She's 2yrs and 3months older than me. Some argue that a woman will age first when older and that's the reason men go for younger women or at worst, their age mates.

3: She sometimes feel inferior to me cos' of my literacy and polished way of going about my stuff.

4. She has a fat tummy. This I perceived to be an upshot of her eating habit before I met her. Can you believe that it was when I started staying close to her that I discovered that she doesn't drink water after eating. Maybe she does that very much later. She was an expert in devouring meat with her friends and never exercised. I also had to teach her to drink water first thing in the morning before taking breakfast. I discovered that her mouth was always dry as a result of this disgusting lifestyle. If she wants to have a word with me in low tone, I do perceive some offensive odours from the mouth sometimes. All this are changing slowly now cos' a damage of so many years can't just be corrected overnight. I'm putting much effort into rearing her cos' she's a wife material.

There are one or two other drawbacks I won't like to go into now as the aforementioned factors are the ones that baffle me the most. I sometimes get so annoyed and start abusing her. But she also has her good sides that even attracted me to her which are:

1. She is well-mannered.
2. She can cook very well.
3. She is very hospitable.
4. She's very respectful.
5: She's pretty and fair.
6. She's a wife material.
7. She's reserved.

The crux here is that we are presently, not on the same page as far as being learned and refined is concerned and I want to marry someone who'll be very refined as well. Though we stay as friends but I feel she doesn't measure up.
So my people, if you were in my shoes, can you go ahead and marry her despite these bad sides??
Pls and pls, helpful comments will suffice.

Cc: Lalasticlala

Ok you're confused....

Now, will u calm tha faxk down and set ur priorities straight on a scale af preference


You're an educated man according to ur post for gawd's holy sake!, decision making shouldn't be too hard for you I feel.

Olboy since you've already outline the good and the bad why not enter factory and manufacture one yourself and simply add and remove the things wey you want and no want.

madgoat:
kk

The man is just looking for gist. A man should know what is good for him.

pinceprinz:
Ok you're confused....

Now, will u clam tha faxk down and set ur priorities straight on a scale af preference


You're an educated man according to ur post for gawd's holy sake!, decision making shouldn't be too hard for you I feel.

see vex!!

in the begining you say she is your fiancee then at the end you say you stay as friends?

bmos:


The man is just looking for gist. A man should know what is good for him.

Its like ure right, na gist hin wan gist...

So, what's d latest news on Mourinho abeg ?

Why groom her when you aint sure about her..baami just go ahead and marry her so far you confessed that she's a wife material and even list the quality possessed..don't be discourage..keep doin your thang till you polish her up completely..you are very lucky...literate galz do show off..baami..if u no like her kindly introduce her to me...

My Dad once told me, marry a woman that respect u than a woman that loves u.

That is priceless gift she got there.

Iamthewatcher:
ok tnk u bro

From the positives you wrote, and the negative that she sometimes feels inferior to you. Guy if you have the money send her to school and marry her immediately she starts school.

If this girl should get an education without you in her life, you will bite you finger in regret that you left her.

Just imagine combining education with the positive qualities you mentioned.

Last time I checked all the negatives you mentioned are trainable.

Lastly you might want to consider choosing the friends she rolls with. Make sure they're not local and they're not spoilt.

My token.

Iamthewatcher:
ok tnk u bro

Bro. You have started it, just try to finish it and my happiness is that she is coping when teaching her.go ahead and marry her and I believe with time she will learn .after marriage, you can be attending this open university and I know that if she is serious, she will make it to the top

Op, You come off as overcritical and I sense you're verbally abusive and bossy.

The poor girl deserves better.

Iamthewatcher:
my guy I don't want a divorce on grounds of irreconcilable incompatibility. I want to take a final decision and get paired.

you're lucky. Those kinda village girls are always good in raising you children. They're very very very good in bed too and you're good to go. Marry her, those type of girls don't know anything about divorce, once you marry her, even death can never separate u Guys.

Simply put, you DONT LOVE this lady..if she is your "fiancee"like you said, you wouldn't be here saying all what not...my broda you think getting married to a lady with academic certificates or degrees that is at par with yours is criteria for successful marriage ? Hel No!!

Sir, I have been married for over 9 years, I have almost the same experience like you. I'm glad I married my wife, I can't do without her today.
Sir, you are a wise man, and I pray you get wiser by the day.
She has shown signs of learning, re-learning, and un-learning and being teachable by humbly accepting you to teach her, took your advice and retake her WAEC , and made all credits without Maths.
She has improved in her spoken English.
You have laboured and invested heavily on her.
One question is, is she worth it? Yes.
85% OF MEN WOULD WANT ALL THIS GREAT QUALITIES YOU LISTED IN THEIR WIFE.
Every beauty will fade, just create memories.
Remember, you can't always have it all.
You have struck a gold mine.
This is the kind of wife I have been praying for my younger brother.
Please, appreciate what you have. Your babe loves, honours, respects, and values you tremendously.
Her defects can be worked on.
Go ahead and marry her, you will never regret it.
She has the quality to keep and make a godly home.

Caracta:


According to you, she is very respectful. I think that covers the age gap.

IMO, she is a good lady. Many would give anything to have a wife with those qualities even if she cannot write letter O with a bottle. Most importantly, she has to love you enough to see the future with you and agree to the changes.

Would she make you happy, proud and at peace even without good command of English and proper education (let's assume the approach failed)? If not, please marry a Professor.

Will you have a peace of mind if you married a professor?

You should if you can cope with her bad sides.

From experience here on nairaland, most of the people that will advice you haven't even gone through one tenth of your submission here. All those ladies professing solutions wouldn't even attempt any of what they are advising you here. Please seek advice with some elderly people who are still successfully married. Best of luck.

"" LoL!
Op, Please Marry Her before Cutehector finds A Way to steal her from You...

princeonx:
see vex!!

I'm not a too happie boy lol.

Big tummy?, that's gross Nigerian girls with big tummy is like 5 nd 6

Estharfabian:
"" LoL!

Op, Please Marry Her before Cutehector finds A Way to steal her from You...

just like d way I stole ur heart

Let her go.


That lady deserves no insult from you.

Learn from President Goodluck Jonathan.


Even when people insult your spouse, you're to stand by her not pull her down. She's your spouse, not your puppet. Do not make her feel inferior. Again, learn from Patience Jonathan (Mrs).

I'm very sure you'd give up everything to work for a rich illiterate lady. You wouldn't mind to work for a boss lady who cannot write and read fluently. Why? Because of MONEY.

There is no one on earth without flaws.

Iamthewatcher:
u started ds advice on a decisive note and concluded on an emotional note.

Bro leave flyca alone she tried her best and i reason with her , you are determined to hang your dog so any rope will do. All i just see here is you want us to give you the green light to stop the relationship

pinceprinz:


I'm not a too happie boy lol.

You no.need to tell me bro

Op,u seem to be someone who gets provoked by a slightest pinch from wat i ascertained from ur post. Why now tryna change ur mind when ur lady has agreed to go to school,u'v already polished her a little bit,why do u wana let those times and efforts spent on her go just dat way,she's got wat a man needs in a woman,dont let go,continue with the reformation.

See plenty viewers still awake! me am typing in the dream cos am sleeping with one eyes open! Bros marry ur sweet wife jare!

Iamthewatcher:
haha, easy nah. Shaa, I'll take that as a go-ahead to marry her...lol

bro go ahead and marry her if u can live with her...
formal education has nothing to do with marriage for me.. what matters for me is compatibility and understanding..
but I will be happy if u fit tell us ur bad side too... lol so we go fit check and balance

RobinHez:
Marriage neva hungry u reach

you mean you are totally okay with him marrying an illiterate as a graduate?

You just a confused man, did u love and promise to marry her wen she re took her waec? Abi wen u saw she finally learnt to drink water in the morning m u wer attracted to this lady knowing all of her flaws , so why do they bother you now? Guy u never ready to marry o

princeonx:

You no.need to tell me bro

My Dad will tell me, just try to write one true sentence, just one true sentence and all your troubles will have to vanish forever like yesterday . So, aint doing it for U

@Iamthewatcher, read at @toksbisola's post. If she were my Sister, she wont be marrying you