PrimeMinisterr:

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you really don't have to.

in life, there are things that will always remain known unknowns: things you know you don't know . You won't know why I'd cc'd her cos I won't tell `(*∩_∩*)′... don't guess, you'll be wrong.

I guess it's time to move on. Be guided.

pinceprinz:




in life, there are things that will always remain known unknowns: things you know you don't know . You won't know why I'd cc'd her cos I won't tell `(*∩_∩*)′... don't guess, you'll be wrong.

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what a character you're. lol

Oliviaarims:
To begin with,how old are u? how long are u willing to wait? Both of u just graduated,u said? That guy's probably got about 5 years minimum before he decides he wants to settle down... and what if it's more? 'll u keep waiting for ever? He already freed u...perhaps he has no future plans of settling down with u. Don't be overcome by ur feelings for him. U're looking to settling down with him,but that may not be an option for him at all.
U could love someone else if u make an effort to....U've simply decided it's ur boyfriend or no one else. Reverse that decision and start looking out for other suitable guys out there now that they are still flocking around u. As the years roll by,u may no longer be the "hot cake" u are now. Nobody has said u should marry a man u don't love. Look for another one u can equally love and with whom u'll be compatible. Time waits for no woman!

U could spend so much time waiting for him and he'd just end up taking some other woman to the altar. U know the situation of things better though...how much he loves u..when he intends to settle down and how prepared he is for that..his dedication to ur relationship and everything else that needs to be out into consideration. Just be wise.

you've made a good point. It's true. Time waits for nobody and all, he might not marry her at the end of the day. But the bolded. Trust me. Ask any guy. It's not easy for us! We all want to settle down even before we graduate. Do you think we are comfortable with 'mummy thank you'. Well, leme speak for myself. 5 years after university before I decide to settle down is just me being foolish and irresponsible. But don't downplay the role of situation or circumstance. *food for thought*

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

i didn't mean to bash you..but men are different,maybe he has had soo much of you more often,i mean sex...he decided to change u

pinceprinz:



lol, well the prime reason I cc'd her is for her to see this thread anytime she comes alive. . . ciao!

u summoned me sah?

MrsPhyno:
u summoned me sah?

Yees! ⊙_⊙

You've gone through the write-up? ...What's ur say?

pinceprinz:

Yees! ⊙_⊙

You've gone through the write-up? ...What's ur say?

Of coz, you were appreciating her comment. U know most of them don't get u like I do tho, hence all the frequent misunderstandings

MrsPhyno:

Of coz, you were appreciating her comment. U know most of them don't understand u like I do tho, hence all the frequent misunderstandings

So, Is it my English now or what exactly is the issue with me?

your bf is tried fuuccking you, look for another guy as he said.

pinceprinz:


So, Is it my English now or what exactly is the issue with me?

We've been over this before And u refuse to change
Don't worry if worst comes to worst I will be ur interpreter y'hear

MrsPhyno:
We've been over this before And u refuse to change Don't worry if worst comes to worst I will be ur interpreter y'hear

A guy that wants to keep you wouldn't reply your mom's call in that disrespectable matter, you need to leave what you are holding to be able to grab a new one, you can always find happiness in another man. Give your suitors a chance.

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

I'm in the same present predicament... Suitors coming already for my girl, but she has even rejected one of them already, and I won't even be ready till the next 4-5yrs and she insisted on me alone. Have told her plainly she should allow other guys who are serious for marriage to come forth. She is a lady n time is ticking against her. I no wan be the source of her sorrow later in life... My advice is, try to allow other serious suitors, who knows, you might find one even better than your current boyfriend.

Don't mind those saying he doesn't love you, he might really loves you but don't want to disappoint you later in life, that's why he is giving you the option to proceed with other guys. Take my advice

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

Hmmm I feel ur pains cuz I also did wat ur BF is doing nw some months back. My case is even worst cuz my babe is done wit sch and NYSC but am just in my final year in sch. She is my 1st galfriend and my 1st relationship, but we have been friends for more dan 10years nw. So basically we are best friends but only started a relationship dis year. Becuz of the pressure from her family I felt it would be wise on my path to take the pressure off her by ending our relationship. We did dat and at 1st it felt like it went well but hours later I must confess I felt like my world had ended her own reaction was even worst as I was told by her friends and sister dat she cried uncontrollably for days. But final she made the decision dat changed it all and dat has to do with her telling her parents that dis was her life and she will make her decisions herself. We are back 2geda nw and our lOVE is even stronger dan b4. I guess afta d rain comes the sunshine even though we expect more storms. She later told me dat she kinda felt bad dat I gave up too easily by ending d relationship, but I made I her see dat I did it to help take lots of pressure off her. Finally the decision to continue in dis relationship lays in the hands of both of u and not just ur BF. I maybe still be in sch but we are both planning hw our future will be like right now from the prospective cost of a marriage, how much it will take to run a home, to the cost of an accomodation and d location. Planning can help u guys here. Remember lastly that it is not a must that he must carry the whole load. The both of u should get a job start small and watch how God in his abundance of mercies makes u both grow big.

charlemon:



Lol can't you see that he doesn't love you? He has seen a good reason to drop you. A reason that wouldn't make it seem like he is wicked or evil. You are being naive. Do you think any man will even allow u entertain a suitor not to talk of telling you to get married to one.

A man that loves you will even get enraged when u let him know u have a suitor but this one is telling you to marry one. Hahahahahhahahahha

Open your eyes ooo. The more you look the less you see. Your BF does not love you

thanks for helping me speak my mind.I no get energy take type.The op knows what to do.Make she dey ask us waec question.

I will go straight to the point. I know you love your boyfriend and you are willing to settle down with him but he is not ready to marry. I want you to pray and beg God for the way forward in terms of who you are to settle down with. I have been in the situation your boyfriend is currently. What I did was to pray and beg God for direction as to what to do and at the end God showed me the way out. My Sweetheart was not willing to let go of me. I told her to also pray and ask for God's direction on the matter and she did and got a response which she told me and i told her to follow that direction. In a nut case she is married and i am still not married.

ATMC:
#exhales

waitin to exhale

Truth b told is a very hard decision cos nobody knows d future.....my advice for u is to follow your mind so dah at d end of d day u won't blame anyone...u might b lucky if u stick to him u guys can get married in future or vise versa,just follow your heart

In my humble opinion, that Guy is a very Good Person.

He loved you a lot but he knows he is not ready yet to settle. therefore he doesn't wanner act like a time waster.

Both of you just graduated, maybe he has no job yet, he got no godfather to put him in better position, he has to struggle to get a job, save up enough to pay your bride price. and both of you have to live together. that involves money.

Marriage is not friendship dear, it involves full responsibility. you might be sick and he will be the one to foot the bill. he will not go to your father's place to ask for help......

He might even have siblings he will be training in future and all these requires money. What if due to the pressure from your parent and he agrees to marry you and the kid rolled out next year, maybe twins and he doesn't have a better job to support his family, how will both of you cope? Don't you think the love will become sour....?

Do not take it to be Nollywood/Hollywood movie. where Emeka ike graduated from college and insisted on marrying Genevieve without kobo.....
This is real now. He can't make it over night except divine intervention from the most high.....

So if you feel you can wait for him, it is up to you but have a good communication with him about it first. but if you were my daughter, I will support what ever decision you wanted to take but I will suggest you should not put all eggs in one basket.

The question here's are you ready to marry? If yes then make up your mind about your bf. From your story it seems your boyfriend is not even making any move, rather he's hesitant. I'm not surprised if he has a another girl in mind, other than you. So please makeup your mind on what you want . If it's him you want, well give him a time frame if he's serious about you he would do something, but if he doesn't the ball is in your court .

boxer022:
I will go straight to the point. I know you love your boyfriend and you are willing to settle down with him but he is not ready to marry. I want you to pray and beg God for the way forward in terms of who you are to settle down with. I have been in the situation your boyfriend is currently. What I did was to pray and beg God for direction as to what to do and at the end God showed me the way out. My Sweetheart was not willing to let go of me. I told her to also pray and ask for God's direction on the matter and she did and got a response which she told me and i told her to follow that direction. In a nut case she is married and i am still not married.

your advice is funny!

If u are sure it's only him you like then tell him to come and see ur parents and pay ur bride price after which u can wait but If he is reluctant to do that just leave him and move on.

The chioce is ur to make.

Some of you are posting rubbish. Who loves something and lets it go? Did Jesus love you and let you go to hell? You fight for what you love. You work harder to earn it and keep it. This is similar to a situation where a guy dumps a girl and tells her "You are too good for me so I'm letting you go"; absolute rubbish.

Please OP kindly ignore that person that said he is a good man that's why he didn't want to waste your time. When a man starts dating a woman at least a year into the relationship he knows if he wants her as a wife. However, ask him if you should wait for him and hear his reply. But I'm very sure no man will say he loves a woman so he is willing to let her go to another man. That's absolute rubbish fallacy. A man that loves you will say "Babe I don't have today but I will definitely have soon. Wait for me I will marry you. Infact I will meet your parents and declare my interest. I will engage you now".

Do you know what it means to see someone u love and wish u have marry someone else? Now consider a situation whereby he loves you and has you as his own, do you think he will let you go?

Ask that man if he really loves you? You don't have to own a jeep or a house or have millions of naira to marry a woman. You can marry and not have kids and struggle together.

There is no greater joy than becoming wealthy from the sweat and effort of you and a partner

Smh!! At last your mom won't bear the pains with you in your marriage you will carry your cross.

Marriage is honestly beyond money and the gold a man can buy for you. Many made men will treat you like thrash at the same time provide you the cash but then you will miss being loved and the affection at that point you may end up finding love outside marriage because you will complain and get tired, people will say you nag and out of frustration you can cheat.

I've been in the situation of your boyfriend and the pressure was much from her family. The truth is that I loved her so dearly but I wasn't financially capable, my hands were tired and I couldn't afford quarter of what her suitors have. I cried most times because the pressure was much I ended up telling her marry not because i wanted it but because things weren't changing and the pressure didn't allow me to concentrate.

3 years on with 2 kids she's partly happy because she could afford what she wants, the money is there and all that but she's emotional down always. Her husband is very rich but can be in town for 1week without seeing her. He's either at a function or receiving one award or something.

Now my advice
If you have the type of mind that can adapt easily and love someone else over time then go ahead afterall it may be the right decision

If you are the type that loves one person with your life then wait for your bf as long as he assures you. Both of you are graduates and you can both make a decent living if you put heads together over time.


Mind you your mama won't be there to bear your pains after marriage

I think he's trying to tell you that he can't marry you. Maybe you don't have many of the qualities he wants in a wife. Don't be surprised if he gets married few months after you agree to one of your other suitors.

[quote author=mrking3 post=40042003][b]hello my friend! I once found myself in your boy friend's shoes! There's this lady I've been dating for the past 8yrs right from our University days! Immediately she passed out of Nysc, her family came up with the issue of marriage and all that! She told me about the pressure from her family so angrily, even though it wasn't from my mind, I told her to go ahead and marry any suitor that ask her hand in marriage. I told her point blank that I can't rush to wed her just because of the pressure from her parents when I don't really have a meaningful job. Fortunately, she reasoned with me and decide to stick with my decision. She kept telling her parents that she has chosen her man! And would wait for the Right time. After a short while, I did her introduction and gave a gap of another one year! Thankfully, I have a meaningful job now, she is also working with a good firm! We are now ready To get married next month.
I THINK THIS SUMMARIZES ALL THE ANSWERS SHE CAN GET ON THIS

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

Your mum is wise.

Maybe not those three current suitors, but there are also several other men you will find happiness with.

A young man that just finished school (at maybe 22) has marriage as the last thing on his mind.

You feel your day is ruined right now. But a lot worse might be when he dumps you 7 years from now.

Love, but also use your head. Is he serious with you?

Make a good decision now that you're in bloom.

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

1st of All I don't believe there's only one person that can make u happy wen it come to a partner. It's a dangerous or rather naive mindset and also holds u back 4rm good and better things sometimes. If smthng happens to him God forbid won't u move on? Anybody rite for u can make u happy. Who's rite for u depends on wat u want or like in a person.

Now to ur issues. Have an open mind so u can see the real and true picture.

1. Seems u love this guy than he loves u?(meaning he loves u bt u love him more in d relationship)

2. Does he know u know u date other guys and r u? How's does he feel about it?(yes sm guys r not possessive bt they still say wat they feel.

3. If he says u shud go on keep ur mind open or even act like it's cool with u and see he's reaction. That will tell u smtngs

4. Never limit ur self to one guy. If he's ment for u he will try at to be in ur life or explained himself like "give me a year or smtn to get my act 2geda bt if he's indifferent pls go on with ur like and he shudnt expect u to fill guilty or anything.

5. He's just ur bf. maybe he never had plans of marrying u. Yes he loves u quote and unquote bt has no marriage plans yet(if he does he will tell u and convince u on how he's working towards it. Not all relationships arene for marriage so don't make it seem like forcing him. Cheers

Him telling you to follow your mom's advise is not because he did not love you or want to spend the rest of his life with you



Maybe he was deeply hurt by what he overheard your mom said or he didn't want your mom to see him as an obstacle to you

mrking3:
[b]hello my friend! I once found myself in your boy friend's shoes! There's this lady I've been dating for the past 8yrs right from our University days! Immediately she passed out of Nysc, her family came up with the issue of marriage and all that! She told me about the pressure from her family so angrily, even though it wasn't from my mind, I told her to go ahead and marry any suitor that ask her hand in marriage. I told her point blank that I can't rush to wed her just because of the pressure from her parents when I don't really have a meaningful job. Fortunately, she reasoned with me and decide to stick with my decision. She kept telling her parents that she has chosen her man! And would wait for the Right time. After a short while, I did her introduction and gave a gap of another one year! Thankfully, I have a meaningful job now, she is also working with a good firm! We are now ready To get married next month. So my Dear, if you both are convinced that you've found true love, nothing can come between the two of you! Not even the pressure from your family or parent. Its only the TWO of you that can decide what, when and how you want it!! Your boy friend should assure you that he's not gonna disappoint you! He should state clearly that he has fully made up his mind to get married to you! Lastly, let him put it to you the year or time he's ready! 2016 or 2017? this will help guide your relationship and make you both Focused! That was what helped me and my Fiance! We gave a clear target of 2015 as our wedding date come rain come shine! The pressure came right from 2013. But we stood with each other! Remained committed despite the pressure. Today we are happy! Pls, I hope your boy friend isn't one of this time wasters? If so, pls don't stick your neck on him! Find a more serious suitor. Ok bye![/b]

baba I fo 4u pieces. After u na u! Dis is d best advice d lady can get. Notin more notin less. Frustration can make d guy say dat, bt atleast d gal go knw if he really luv her or not. If he does love her, nd she's convinced she should not pressure d guy again, she shuld tlk 2her parent nd pray wit her bf, one week is too much 4God to provide a miracle nd better job.