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Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? / My Dad Gave N3m To His Boss' Wife To Buy Vehicle For Him, Now He's Dead / My Dad Cheated On My Mum Before She Died And He's Still Doing It (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Nobody: 8:11am On Nov 24, 2015
Mzgracie:



Yinmu

Yinfuro

1 Like

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:12am On Nov 24, 2015
lee007:
Guy i wish i can talk to you on the phone...if you dont mind
pm me
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Pidggin(f): 8:12am On Nov 24, 2015
OP, are you humble? Do you respect his authourity in the house or does your body language or speech make you seem proud. I think he may dislike you because you contest his authority, the solution is for you to respect his authority like everyone else is doing in your house or move out.

3 Likes

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by nasty45(m): 8:13am On Nov 24, 2015
Estharfabian:
cryCan't You like poison him or something??undecided
I'm sure even God would Understand...undecided


42Lashes for what abeg angry
LWKMD
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Nobody: 8:15am On Nov 24, 2015
Harbosede02:
same here,the funniest aspect is dah his mother isn't doing anything abt it....its so bad angry
Exactly!undecided There's something fishy going on...undecided


He should really check the history of his birth...undecided
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Cameleon72(f): 8:15am On Nov 24, 2015
1. Do you smoke and your dad is against smoking? 2. Do you help in house chores which males supposed to do at home? 3. How is your grade in school, is it encouraging? 4. Do you challenged your dad in public? If yes to atleast 3 of the above stated, will advise you to read and meditate of the lyrics of Revised Church Hymnary (RCH 701) if you do so you will be gald to sing RCH 600. Parent hate children who opposeses them at all time. Your attitude may be the sole reason.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by chinnasa: 8:15am On Nov 24, 2015
Hmmm, two wrongs can't make a right. Your Dad can't change his mindset about you. Black is black, you childhood was filled with bad choices. But it doesn't matter now. Change your mindset, think positive, pray for yourself. Take positive risk to help yourself. Respect him, dont argue with him because you will never win. Its not magic. When its time leave and chance your dream. God is love.

1 Like

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Nobody: 8:15am On Nov 24, 2015
Therock5555:


My parents married legally in church and I'm the second child and first male


I have doubted my parentage lots of times because I was the only child among my siblings given birth to in the village, maybe I was exchange by some faggort nurses because I don't behave one bit like any body else in the house

The cower in fear while he speaks, I oppose him when he speaks uncorted lies.

BTW he's a preacher so nothing seems wrong to him. If I begin to spill everything, I might run out of pages

[size=13pt]Bro, you need to move out of that house, prayerfully. Or else you can be destroyed by their words and actions. It will be hard, but begin to prepare.

Dont let his bitterness destroy your rivers of living water. You were made for a purpose for the good of the world, not for your fathers house alone. Remember the devil spoke through peter. Any statement or action that is not good and perfect from your father is from the devil who wants to destroy your destiny in that small house. Leave, and God will guide you.[/size]
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:16am On Nov 24, 2015
iPopAlomo:



It really is small... he can't hold on to the pain forever... otherwise... he won't be living his life... lemme tell you and the OP a quick story...

I finished up my NCE at 18/19 years... can't remember... so I went home after graduating... and I went to play football... on environmental sanitation day... who turned up at the field...?! my dad... with OPC... he actually paid them to give me 200 stokes on my back... yes... 200 strokes from an OPC member... at some point... my back couldn't take it... so I raised my hand... to cushion the cane from hitting my back... till tomorrow... those marks are still on my hands... and that's just one of many stories...

I really hated him then... but... he's my father afterall... I can't kill him...

So... to the OP... take it on the chin... put your head down and keep doing what you're doing... hell come around... Oh... I'm the first born too... I'm willing to bet a lot of money on you that you're the first born too...

Me and my dad... we're not close... true... but I bare no ill will towards him... I even worked for him a while till I resigned... grin

chin up mate... it's all a phase... until you see another man's farm... your father's farm is still the biggest...
thanks mate
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:16am On Nov 24, 2015
lee007:
Guy i wish i can talk to you on the phone...if you dont mind
pm me
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by ProfEinstein: 8:16am On Nov 24, 2015
Emzyme:
my dad


U are challenging my àuthority....nw i am extremely introverted.....when am home i cant go out...u ar still a child ...am jst monitoring u its d duty of a parent....

If i mistake stroll ,i have to ans jamb qxtn..and correct too

Going home is a matter of d nigga is broke, if not i got a home in skul already

Its jst dat d effect of 18+ bondage cant b undone in a single day...so i still gat some probs to fix


Am a final yr stud n 1 uni lyk dat
Therock5555
U knw hw many tyms dem don tell me make i go find my fada nd moda cos dem no sure say na dem born me

Dat feeling dat everything u do or even about to do is bad
U see ur mates doing tinz u wouls lyk to do....bt u cant do ...c
If i mention hw many tyms deh have told me lyk
Gov oshiomole to d trader "go and die" nl server go go down


Nigga b urself ...we go survive......deh have lived their lives ...nigga live urs too nd to d fullest....
Am nt there yet bt God knws am tryna Undo their Effect on me



Tried testing d effect of sniper on myself before....buh i no gree die

N.b....pardon my typo......phone shit
Its good to know u ain't alone.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by romzyxy(m): 8:18am On Nov 24, 2015
bellong:


I guess the bold is the root of the issues. You must have been too curious and challenging since a toddler. He probably see it as a deviant behavior and in a bid to straighten you, he adopted the"negative " approach which many parents do adopt.

Get to the library, buy him a book on child developmental psychology. He needs to learn some stuff.

Meanwhile, you need to learn how to pass across your opinion without him seeing you as rude and disobedient.


are you a psycologist in write ups?. You just predict his behaviour thru his write up. You might be absolutely right.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:19am On Nov 24, 2015
abbey621:
OP- I'm going to be very frank with you! As a child all the way till my first year in the university I was flogged often and mercilessly by my father and/or uncle. The worst thing with my father is that he didn't just stop at the flogging, he would deprive me of food, make me walk to school during my secondary school days and as if that was not bad enough, he wouldn't stop speaking bad about me everywhere he went. I've been embarrassed publicly many times by him and I often wondered if I was adopted or stolen. I grew a deep hatred for him but things changed all of a sudden when I decided to stay away and be a MAN! I decided to stay in school and hustle, I would cut grass, beg, even sold handouts just to survive. This single act of courage stopped all the maltreatment, he started seeing me more as independent and would often tell people that he doesn't know why I don't come to see him, he doesn't know why I don't ask for money or for him to pay my school fees. OP You have to be strong and claim your independence, it's not about fighting him or being rude, it's about removing that layer of dependency and being your own person. This is your father's point of view, he feeds you, clothes you and provides shelter for you, he basically owns you! This is the way most African parents think and until you prove that you are not a leech, he'll continue to maltreat you. I just laughed when I read your post because to most people 48 strokes seems brutal but to me I don chop am many times, I've been punched, kicked even bashed on the head with a kondo all by the same man but today I thank God, 15 years ago I couldn't even dream of a peaceful life and that peaceful life did not come until I let go of all the hatred. Free your mind young lad and look at the bigger picture!
thanks sir

2 Likes

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Funjosh(m): 8:19am On Nov 24, 2015
It is well.


I have a cousin just like you, at age 5-6 he challenge his Dad during any misunderstanding between the dad and his mum what I can't even dream of doing then while am still an undergraduate staying with them. The dad will beat him yet he won't back out and keep on running his mouth but now the boy finished his SSS3 last year very tall than the dad.


Just try to be good till you are able to leave the house then he will start missing you.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:20am On Nov 24, 2015
Abiagirl777:
Hmmm,took me back memory lane though from my mom.one night she sent me out in the cold because I spoilt my watch,that night was the most horrible day of my life.I sat in front of the gate to ll past 12,the only one in the street,a child of 10 years in the name of discipline.i saw all sorts of nocturnal anlmals dat night,it severed whatever love I had for her and always kept to myself even when I saw my 1st period and almost got raped,my eldest sis became our mother
She came for my Omugwo and something brought it up,she couldn't look at me.I don't blame her atall,I've forgiven her but its deeply etched in my heart.
I promised myself I'll be her exact opposite,by his grace I shall
Amen, me too I've promised myself never to touch my children, that's if I ever choose to allow any into this world
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Nobody: 8:23am On Nov 24, 2015
Many of you here giving advice are still kids yourself who still have rebellious tendencies so you would always want to stick with the OP. However OP I am not on your team. Allow me to tell you why.

1) I first took time to go through your posts here on nairaland as well as your diaries including those you said " the stories were true but names changed" and you really need help....i will come back to this shortly....

2) You are the second child but the first son and you wonder why your father is being hard on you? I am also a first son and all you lamented about I experienced it too but until I realised that my dad was not the problem and that I had the problem things never changed.
You see like you I and so stood up to my dad often but only on issues that were right especially after I became born again but I never stood up to him in disrespect but calmly passed my message across. I have slept in the rain, sun, got disowned at a point, slept with church members and eaten with them as no food was forthcoming from home because like u I was also . labelled a black sheep so you see your case isn't peculiar.
It is the one whom the father loves that he chastises the most and until I learnt how to draw close to my dad and engage him in truly meaningful conversation I was my own problem.
I had my fair share of hotels and women and it was as if I was hellbent on dis gracing my family until I had to stop and think and make some major adjustments and today I am my father's best friend as we joke around as friends not even as father and son. FYI my dad is now 68 and I around 40.
He wanted me to be an urban and regional planner which I studied in school but inside I wanted to be a musician or a businessman so I deliberately chose to do a biz of my own just tons pipe him but it only made matters worse.
However today all things have worked together fo Good because I am now fully into real estate but from all business angle as I develop and sell properties.

My dad really loved me in his own twisted way but I had to discover that and will myself to move towards him Same way u need to discover yours and move closer.
Only intense anger would make make a father wish his son was dead and I would like to say that his expectations from you as a first son and your actions or inactions pushed him to that point.

I dare say that perhaps peer pressure is one of your major problems as you seem to be having more influences outside your home and foolishly bring those influences into ur fathers house.
He is the captain of that home and not you...LEARN AND UNDERSTAND THAT! Why you get your own place and pay your own rent then feel free to do as u please.

I am a father now so fully appreciate what my dad tried doing when I was young. You OP will soon see the bigger picture as right now u are not.

Back to number 1 above... i want you to tell yourself the truth which at a point in this your submission u did when u said "u are demonic" . Ask yourself if your head is in the right place and if your actions match the impression u want ur dad to have about u. Clean yourself up OP....clean up your mind, ur thoughts and the words that come from u. REBRAND and you will see your dad do same.

On a final note, every father has n expectation for his kids and yours is not an exception. You will also have expectations for your kids when they start coming and perhaps you may give them corporal punishment when they fail to live up to your expectations. Sit down and give your life a thought OP and u will see that your dad isn't that bad.

Cheers!

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:24am On Nov 24, 2015
linearity:
The obvious question is, how old are you?

If you can save up to N25k and made up to N350/day at one time, then you can afford to live by yourself.


I can live by myself but that would mean my final year fees been withheld and I can't risk starting over again
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by loffyloffy: 8:24am On Nov 24, 2015
young man..your father obviously have a parenting challenge.. he is finding it difficult to cope with the fact that you are not meeting his expectations in line with his standards..his approach to this has made you hardened..and worse.

But more importantly you are having a bigger challenge.. you are still acting like a baby.. and you have to see hatred instead of disappointment in everything he does..and you are still seriously tied to his apron..when you should be a free bird and fly away.

the way forward is you leaving the house and following your dream after a while both of you will come to appreciate each day other.

if you fail..don't blame your father.. he is just a landpost..only you can stop yourself.. so stop complaining and move your backside..
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Vernor(m): 8:24am On Nov 24, 2015
Halleluyah someone broke d ice. @ op I faced similar turmoil and still facing even when married with children. How I survived u don't have choice as long as u are under his roof, but note HE LOVES U. His approach is d issue and there is nothing u can do about it. Wait till u finish ur Sch and have your own apartment that's when u will have relief but not total but the best revenge is for you to make it finacially(legally) he will give u your respect. Until I was able to marry without any kobo from my family even my dad, rented an apartment and do more he has no choice. Now I tell him i take d decision now, we still have issues even this morning in my house. Pray to God to bless u, like u said I dont tell him anything about me till date but he want us to be friends, though its late but im trying my best to forget d past and move on, but note again he loves u, the problem is his upbringing. we can always communicate. onebigfamily2002@yahoo.co.uk
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Nicepoker(m): 8:25am On Nov 24, 2015
Estharfabian:
cryCan't You like poison him or something??undecided
I'm sure even God would Understand...undecided


42Lashes for what abeg angry
my God is that an advice? u sound like a rebel.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Chicolee(f): 8:25am On Nov 24, 2015
I've been in your shoes kinda. I was almost suicidal. Trust me, it gets better. just hold on and be strong. Turn to God and he will be your salvation. one day all these will be a story.

1 Like

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by juman(m): 8:27am On Nov 24, 2015
@ OP

For what I read on your thread here I think your father is just trying to be a very good father.

I think the problem lies with you. Look into yourself first.

I think your father is a good nigerian father.

Try to be on the same page with him, both of you should understand yourselves more. Try to communicate with him more. If both of you understand yourselves well there would be less frictions.

1 Like

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Nobody: 8:28am On Nov 24, 2015
Nicepoker:
my God is that an advice? u sound like a rebel.
If You we're really the Least bit "Smart"....

You'd notice the "Sarcasm" in My post...undecided

Well, Obviously, i guess u slept off whilst "cerebrums" Were shared...Way to go!.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by nikz(f): 8:31am On Nov 24, 2015
I'll advice you endure and ignore ur dad till ure old enough to leave d house. Ur mum should be close to u in all ds. She should be d one to encourage you. Parents should realize dat the kids nid love and care. Dnt be depressed pls. I want u to get close to God and pray. There's nothing God cannot do.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by ProfEinstein: 8:32am On Nov 24, 2015
Eddygourdo:
the fact is that you are at fault in everything happening to you. I can tell you categorically that most of the abuse you feel you are bring subjected to are exaggerated because you are viewing everything from the victim perspective, clearly you are disappointing your parents in one Way or the other. No proud parent will treat his or her child like this if not that they aren't proud of who you have become or who you will become. You sulk around your home, you take things too personally and you automatically believe they are against you simply because they disagree with you. Mr man grow up. Change your ways, be a better son, be a better brother to your siblings, accept your lot in life by trying to see things from your parents eyes first, it's in understanding first that people are understood, you haven't ever tried to understand your parents rather you believe they both hate you. I say this with confidence on two reasons, if you are being treated unfairly as the first born son by your father, your mum wil revolt but so far she says nothing and agrees with your old man then u get sko sko for head, and secondly I was everything you just mentioned above, the only difference is that I spent many a night tied up after serious beating for fingering my aunties or throwing my friend into a soak away pit and covering it up in hope he died. Despite my devilshness I played the victim card just as you are doing till I became a man and realised i could have been landlord pickin thanks to the devil's in me as well as my behaviour. The moment I changed my ways to accepting my parents and siblings as my life, I also started understanding them too, after awhile they now understand me too. Cheers
Olodo, are u trying to justify the parents emotional abuse? You must be a psycho like them.. Beast!!!!!
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:32am On Nov 24, 2015
onila:
WITH ALL THIS UR BIG ENGLISH

Ur father still hates you
my father will wish to have a bright son like you
I was the best literature student in my class but because he wanted me to be a medical doctor I was pushed to science class, I have read more books than the pages of Ababio chemistry text book.

I never was dull, in fact always the top three till I got to ss 1 and entered science class which pummeled me to 30th position, I hate science courses but his word is final so what can I do

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by lordmario(m): 8:32am On Nov 24, 2015
Therock5555
I read your post and it made me remember my growing up. It was hell. Please disregard any advice telling you to either move out or fight your dad. No, pls don't!
I'll tell you a lil secret. Go meet him, plead for his audience, ask him exactly what he wants you to do that you have not been doing, ask him for advise to live according to his plans, ask him to forgive you if you have messed up. You said he is on NL I would have told you some more things. If you won't mind, contact me. But pls don't fight him

1 Like

Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by omotonyx(f): 8:37am On Nov 24, 2015
There are parents like dat. Sorry 2say dis I blame ur mother 4everyting. Am a mother of 8months old baby, she fell yesterday while tryin 2standup I was like hurting myself cos I cnt stand it. What kind of mother is she standing her own son 2be maltreated and frustrated dis much. She's a bad mother.
U too talk 2urself, check urself. As 4ur dad u already said it all dat he's a Millitary man what do u expect of him he'll always want 2win n make a decision dat nobody shld question. I blame ur mother.
My advice is 4u 2liv the house go and hussle 4urself n av d fear of God cos 4 as long as u're still in dat house, u'll run mad which u av started already cos 4u 2post dis on Nairaland not minding ur psycho Dad 2see dis, u've started running out of ur senses but dis is d best place anyway Nairalanders will give their advice. I hope ur Dad too will read to see his wicked life.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Nicepoker(m): 8:37am On Nov 24, 2015
Estharfabian:
If You we're really the Least bit "Smart"....

You'd notice the "Sarcasm" in My post...undecided

Well, Obviously, i guess u slept off whilst "cerebrums" Were shared...Way to go!.
before u post that. U actually meant it. Don't try to derail.
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by Therock5555(m): 8:40am On Nov 24, 2015
vicque:
. You need to calm down first and know you are not ALONE. if we start a thread on this topic, you will be amazed that many Nairalanders have passed through this.

I have seen my friend's dad slap his 30 something year old son. I also know a banker that can't get home by 9pm and have peace because of his parents.

2. Most parents are that way especially when you do. . . . . not follow the path or foundation they want to lay for you.

3. You strike me as someone who wants to go into the arts like entertainment, sports, music, literature and other which is mostly frowned upon.

4. Forgive my guess you may have just passed the so called adult age of "18" or "21"in oyibo people land but by default Nigeria parents will not let you breathe until leave their house either by way of marriage or school.

5. Now on the topic of schooling... You said something about medicine? Nwanne don't try it if you are not medically abi na science inclined... Don't live his dream of being called father of a doctor.

6. What do you want to do? Wetin be your handwork? Is it writing? Blogging? Or something else? It'd obvious he won't support you for now because you are the first son and he feels you need to be n example to your younger ones.

7. I do not know what religion you follow... But simply put DISOBEDIENCE is really what drives our older folks to paranoia!!!
You no belive me?
Just add 10 years to your age and decide to marry. Girl ya papa or mama no really like... That's when you will know that what you are passing through now is just I.T (INTERNSHIP)


My counsel to you is
8. Get an EDUCATION and I do not just mean a degree or a diploma. And be wasting time doing what you do not like...(7 years medical school?) . Get educated in what you really want to do and look for opportunity to learn more.. There schools and colleges, and institutions that focuses on the arts.Eg

Wale Adenuga productions or Pefti in Lagos

Royal Arts academy by Monalisa chinda and Ego Boyo and others.

Federal Radio Corporation Of Nigeria training sch.

It may be tough and easily said than done. But be resolute and do try to get busy since they say you are idle and pressing phone. Check for some in your location.
.
9.Dont underestimate the power of steadfastness in prayers. We all want good things but sometimes it just won't come to us except for God's help. Please stop challenging his authority in the name of ''I am a MAN". Some parents don't know that their KIDS are now young adults and no more kids. It's just be wisdom of God that helps them see so.

10 Finally be Tactful (I hope you know the meaning.)
In my house we have a saying that "Yes sir" no de cause problem. Even when he send you dumb errands and your siblings are available like Nike : JUST DO IT.!!

... The Matches is in your hands : you can either light a fire or burn the house.. It's all up to y


I love arts, more than a dozen folks have told me to be a comedian, someone even wanted to buy a comedy audition form for me but guess what my dad said

"comedians are liars, because they lie to make people laugh so hell awaits them"

I was the captain of my area's football team but when an agent tried to take a few of us to a Ghanaian football Academy, he told me

"footballers careers never last, and a doctor still treats them when they get injured so why don't you become a doctor instead"

Now most of my fellow team mate are balling hard and I ain't even studying medicine yet.


I could clearly sing a song be it rap or any other genre perfectly after just listening to it twice but he would rather die than allow me have a studio section because he thinks I would go for cult meetings.

I could keep going on and on....


Thanks for the advice though
Re: My Dad Wishes Me Death, Please Help by WebSurfer(m): 8:40am On Nov 24, 2015
Estharfabian:
cryCan't You like poison him or something??undecided
I'm sure even God would Understand...undecided


42Lashes for what abeg angry
i'm 100% sure you are sick...you must have poisoned someone to give this type of stupid advice on a public forum.

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