scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

My Sister,Beauty or handsomeness is but a thing that can fade away.
Even your own beauty can fade away with age which comes with time.
Marriage is a spiritual thing,and what sustains it is more than mere comeliness of the body.
Your husband may not be as handsome as you would want,but he's a good man ( from what you said),and he's proud of you.
Be proud of him too.
Show him off;respect him; value him; treat him like a king; and even in your old age and when things are not so rosy,you'll have you a man who will stand by you.
It's a conscious effort; do it.

chumakk:
Tell us the truth. Is he poor? It is only poor men that are ugly

God bless you for me bro.... I just believe that ladies and contentment are sworn enemies...

You are ashamed of walking with him in public... Pls, do u always close your eyes whenever he wanna make love to u

If person like late STELLA can marry person like OBASANJO
If person like Almighty LARA can marry person like OSHIOMOLE
If person like TITI Tinubu can marry person like Ojuyobo TINUBU
And these women can proudly call these men theirs in public..

Pls, who the hell are you to complain one man is ugly for ur liking

Am very sure if he holds a very high profile in dis world, u be very proud to dance Shoki with him in public

Some ladies sef

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

Point of correction: At 32 you are no longer a GIRL but a WOMAN, a full grown woman.

And the solution to your predicament is quite simple: get a Fez cap for him or get sunglasses for yourself when you hang out.
Either way you would be less self conscious of his looks and ppl staring.

Mindfulness:



The reason why you feel insecure is not your husband's appearance, the reason why you feel insecure is inside of you and it will follow you wherever you go.

R u indirectly advertising MTN?

Excuzeme:


This one deserves to get an award for the "MOST SUCCINCT POST" OF 2016!

If you be soldier, all terrorist for don die since! Shooting from the Hips!

Lol. Dating is one thing but marriage to someone you find embarrassing? Na wa.

hooklover:


Lady I love ur sincerity. It's a mistake u made under pressure. I know of a girl my guy loved.The only mistake he did was to pln marriage in 2016.he loved he dearly and everyone saw a bissful relationship for 2yrs 07030382640ut she met a guy day promise her marriage in 2 months without dating and she jumped at the offer without informing her guy.Did introduction at his back. We ound out d guy is very ugly and black. He realised d only way to enter d babe was marriage withoit dating her and she fell for d plan.to marry in 2 months.

I ask her y she did such she say she know she did not love d guy but she wanted marriage in 2015 badly.the u know most pretty babes are really gullible cos everybody believes d guy used jazz on her cos he was a total reject.

The irony is dat d guy did intro to secure her but dmarriage is still in 2016 just like watt my guy promised and guys parents are asking to c d babe. She is not proud of d guy looks and gossip is every were already making her cry always y she yield to pressure just to marry cos she say age not on her side at 32.

D good news is d guy just go a job with Total with hefty package which he planed to enjoy with his girl but she jump ship for d supid reason ever.She has been crying ever since and is ashamed to go back to him.

Point her is cos u r man is ugly he knows it and is forcing himself to make u happy dats not mutual dats y u feel bad.

Don't be deceived cute guys are caring it takes patience to meet and get the best from dem.

Never yield to pressure to marry due to age or Wat people will say.

The people dat pressure u 2 marry will mock u and u will lose self esteem.

Ur kids will most likely be ugly and bear shame 2 and lose sel esteem.

Don't be deceived looks matter u need someone u proud off.

I wish u good luck as u bear this through life is really long o bear such.

If u cant cope with the shame divorce him is Ur life. U have e only one life to live.

Seriously? Is there a hidden sarcasm I'm nt catching.
So if she had married a handsome dude and he (God forbid), got into an accident, or had burns or a dermatological disorder tht destroyed his looks, she shld start planning divorce so as not to feel ashamed of him?
Why are pple so vain? Why shld u judge pple by their looks (calling someone a total reject), becos of something they had no control over. U don't chose to be handsome or average or ugly, u just find urself tht way.
The Op was the silly one for marrying a man she is not attracted to for whatever reason, she had the choice to say NO but she didn't. The shame part is all in her head, even if one's husband is crippled how is tht anyone's business, let them talk, he is hers afterall. She only has to work on her esteem issues and stop making the man feel bad

MathsChic:
Stop worrying what others think. Quit being a people pleaser.

u r blessed.Dem dey follow DAT babe from village

HaneefahRN:

Seriously? Is there a hidden sarcasm I'm nt catching.
So if she had married a handsome dude and he (God forbid), got into an accident, or had burns or a dermatological disorder tht destroyed his looks, she shld start planning divorce so as not to feel ashamed of him?
Why are pple so vain? Why shld u judge pple by their looks (calling someone a total reject), becos of something they had no control over. U don't chose to be handsome or average or ugly, u just find urself tht way.
The Op was the silly one for marrying a man she is not attracted to for whatever reason, she had the choice to say NO but she didn't. The shame part is all in her head, even if one's husband is crippled how is tht anyone's business, let them talk, he is hers afterall. She only has to work on her esteem issues and stop making the man feel bad

my dear u r wise

Naff24:


God bless you for me bro.... I just believe that ladies and contentment are sworn enemies...

You are ashamed of walking with him in public... Pls, do u always close your eyes whenever he wanna make love to u

If person like late STELLA can marry person like OBASANJO
If person like Almighty LARA can marry person like OSHIOMOLE
If person like TITI Tinubu can marry person like Ojuyobo TINUBU
And these women can proudly call these men theirs in public..

Pls, who the hell are you to complain one man is ugly for ur liking

Am very sure if he holds a very high profile in dis world, u be very proud to dance Shoki with him in public

Some ladies sef

u don finish talk

Help him to look better. We all can do with some improvement, help him like I have seen many ugly women transformed by the love of their husbands. PIIMMMPPP YOUR MAN GIRL, Some women can pull the head off your neck to have him...

MathsChic:
Stop worrying what others think. Quit being a people pleaser.

Seconded!

scaredy:
Thaxs for the advise and kind words.I was expecting a bashing but was ready to take it so long as someone will advise me too. Its not as if I dnt love my husband its hard to not love him , but I want the shame to go. I feel the private is more important. He carries me like a princess that's why I want to give him the best too and I want to start with not being ashamed.

You don't have a problem except the one you chose to create. The scripture says once the hand is laid on plough, he who looks back is not wortgy of the kingdom of God. Beauty is from the inside not what you see outside. If some who have handsome men as husband tells you what they go through, you will stop complaining. Stop comparing youur husband's looks with others, love him in an absolute sense and you will have peace. Your look already complement his and that's what marriage is about. No one in an absolute sense is ugly. Learn to treasure his being all over you in public, if he doesn't you will still complain. Many women wish they get the same attention from their men. Finally when you are lonely and single, he took your reapoach away; take his own too by loving him. Life is what we make of it. If you want your love life to endure, start now to cherish your gold, your treasure, your man.

IS HE LIKE THIS?

[color=#990000][/color]........... Remember, NO SACRIFICE, NO SALVATION. IF YOU DIDN'T EAT THE YAM BECAUSE OF THE OIL... YOU WOULD LICK THE OIL BECAUSE OF THE YAM.... TIT FOR TAT. ONE OF THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF LIFE.

Eyekandi:
Ndo, its your cross to bear, at least you got what you wanted...marriage...

Now give him what he wants..
Be proud of him in public

wow
This is the first brilliant, bravest, talented and well constructive comment I have READ from a FEMALE pal on NAIRALAND.COM..
NICE response
calculate thinking..
Please I WILL LIKE to know you..
What does it take.? reply

[color=#990000][/color] Remember, NO SACRIFICE, NO SALVATION. IF YOU DIDN'T EAT THE YAM BECAUSE OF THE OIL... YOU WOULD LICK THE OIL BECAUSE OF THE YAM.... TIT FOR TAT. ONE OF THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF LIFE.

Dyt:
Pls can I meet your husband?

Pls send me a mail with the address on my signature

Thanks in advance

Hmm, so with all this NL toasting wey u dey get, u never see husby marry?

Sha, I dey here, I'm single n ready to mingle.

with little research i ve made, 75% of pretty and beautiful ladies/women dnt use to enjoy mariages due to pride and feelings in them, i pray urs wont be like them, "its only u, and u alone. That can make ursf hapi or sad." (Meanwhile, if i can see ur husband i wud advice him to start maltreating u and carrying comcubines, surely u wil step up ur feelings. It seems that is major antitode for treating negative emotions emanating frm preety ladies.

PunterTim:
Don't You Think You're Overacting Here And Being Unrealistic About This!.
This Is About Her And What She Wants.Didn't Want To Advise This But Now I Must:
Think You Should Sit Down With Him And Carefully State Your Reasons To Divorce Him!

badt guy like u

When you look at him focus on his strengths and ignore his weaknesses. See a man that loves you, who is faithful to you and takes good care of you. Whether you know it or not, he is wonderfully and fearfully made. His creator said he is good. Who are you mortal man to say call him ugly. some husbands drink, some smoke, some keep late nights, some don't have time for their family, some don't satisfy their women in bed, while some commit adultery and some gamble away their salary. carry your cross.

playtheblues:
How ugly is he? I mean is he uglier than Mr. Ibu? Be sincere.

Is Mr Ibu dat ugly?

How about Vic O?

Only if you married outta genuine Love, you wouldn't have to bother 'bout this. I understand your frustration, You want to be proud of him, you want to be able to validate your self-esteem both on the inside and outside. You wanna stir desire in people, you wanna be satisfied. You're not asking too much, this feeling is inherent in human character.
But you can pay attention to he's; clothings, haircut, skin and the likes. No one is entirely ugly you just need money.

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

You don't deserve him and you're a f*ucking terrible person! You married him out of desperation and you're not ashamed to say that. Shame on you selfish and ungrateful b*itch!

I'm sure there was a genuine reason why the "handsome" men you wanted didn't marry you.

I wish your husband dumps your pathetic as*s.

@Op never listen to those saying you should divorce him.
U hv married him already alright. Now to be proud of him in d public, u just hv to love-vendor him. Help him with choice of dressing, if he dresses smart, u will not hv much problems.
Put up a smile always when u are with him and learn to be happy with him that way ppl will admire ur union.
Good thing u called him ugly, that is to say u already know he is,so if someone should tell u that, just tell d person u already know but you love him and happy.
Careless about lookS on pples faces, make ppl jealous of ur union grl.
I am not married yet but i hv already sworn to mkany one I accept to marry a happy man.
nothing is as bad as being divorced because that is when emotional stress starts fully, u start telling stories to favour you., you start deviating from a soft hearted n spoken angel to what u never believe you could be. My dear be careful d advice u choose.

Gaborone:
1.Manage him, after all, he has cured your 'singlehood sickness'.

2.On the alternative, always wear very dark shades when with him.

3. When you are in public and you feel ashamed, refer to number 1 above.

-----------
You: Why are you being nasty?
Me: I am because you can't eat your cake and have it.

why do people think being single is a crime & a curse?! Hmmm

Use the positive side of him to outweigh the negative side... and be content with what u have... people will always talk about u whether u like it or not, whether he's handsome or not.

scaredy:
Thaxs for the advise and kind words.I was expecting a bashing but was ready to take it so long as someone will advise me too. Its not as if I dnt love my husband its hard to not love him , but I want the shame to go. I feel the private is more important. He carries me like a princess that's why I want to give him the best too and I want to start with not being ashamed.

u don't know what Ladies are suffering all in the name of marriage, what am saying is this even those people u think that are better they are not truth is, many ladies will rather marry an ugly and loving man than to marry a hansom beast. flex or husband gul because u don't know what u have there.

"A man is never ugly" Buchi Emecheta ( Joys of Motherhood)

thorpido:
Be content with such things as ye have!
You have married him already so quit thinking otherwise.You are honest with reasons why you married him.Now choose to enjoy him and your marriage rather than worry about what people say.At 33yrs old,you should have learnt to care less about many things.
You should help him dress neatly and trendy and he's good to go.

If any of your kids look like him,would you begin to hide the child?

my mind exactly,

firstly, no man is ugly! you know what they say 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' get him nice clothes and always advise him to dress smart. If he ugly its because you think so, try improving on his lapses.

if you were not ashamed when he took you to the altar, i don't think you should be ashamed now because everyone already knows you are married, its not like you are dating, focus on those things that made you marry him in the first place and joy Will be restored.

scaredy:
Thaxs for the advise and kind words.I was expecting a bashing but was ready to take it so long as someone will advise me too. Its not as if I dnt love my husband its hard to not love him , but I want the shame to go. I feel the private is more important. He carries me like a princess that's why I want to give him the best too and I want to start with not being ashamed.

Count your blessings. What if you are still single ?

Worry less about what people feel about you. The people you see around you are like flowers. In 5 years time, you wont be seeinng many of them.

ur prblm is u don't have a prblm@op.

5can u create a single hair on a person's head?
May God have mercy on u op

Men beware not to marry this type of karashika!