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Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down - Romance (10) - Nairaland

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Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by aliscomonaj: 9:02am On Mar 04, 2016
Only post when u are confused please. You know she is not yours, so why the border? My friend there many beautiful and cool headed ladies out there who need your service, try and pick one. I don't believe in love, i believe in managing my partner. Get a better one for yourself and manage her.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Nobody: 9:03am On Mar 04, 2016
miqos02:
u are a zombie
. Gbammmmmmmmmm 100,000 likes for you
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by AK6464(m): 9:03am On Mar 04, 2016
.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by jolay554(f): 9:05am On Mar 04, 2016
what are you waiting for, you better leave everything and pick race
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by fortunechy(m): 9:05am On Mar 04, 2016
u dont nid a prophet to tell u dt the lady is a runs gal. the earlier u realize dt the better for u. unluv her for ur own gud.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by AK6464(m): 9:05am On Mar 04, 2016
[size=30pt] OP, I'd remove this post if I were a moderator. If you don't love your life ignore the red alerts [/size]
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Kjking(m): 9:07am On Mar 04, 2016
Sexytemi:



i didn't need to fast, cox i needed no prophet to tell to get out of d sham called relationship then.
that's a good one.... #smiles
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by livinbygrace: 9:08am On Mar 04, 2016
Lawz20:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders, I have a very serious problem which I so much believe that with your kind and generous advice, I might take the right step. I met this girl around April 2012 at my work place and since then we have been together after I proposed to her last year. The fact is I love her so much and I thought she also loves me.

I went down with her to her village around April 2014 to see her parents formally and they were so happy, her mum, dad, grand parents and even her siblings welcomed me wholeheartedly and I was so happy. I stayed with them for two weeks just to see if I can picture out any bad behavior but seriously, non was found.

The problem am having with her is that she has too much male friends and most of them are always sending her love messages both on 2go and Facebook. I once stumble on her Facebook inbox and I found a chat between her and another guy and he was just thanking her for coming to spend good time with him, bla bla bla and how he enjoyed her. I was so mad because during this period she went to the village alone and promised to return in a week but she didn't until after 3 weeks, this is what she always do, she travels like 4-5 times in a year and never return on time. When she returned, I confronted her and she said she is not the one that did that chat with the guy, I tried asking her who did but she never gave me a good answer.

Later that week, she gave me her phone to help her charge it in a barbing saloon, then a strange number called and I picked, the person hissed and cut the call, he later sent a message saying, "you're picking my wife's call and asking me who it is" I replied him that he should check the number that he might be wrong, he then mentioned her name. I went back home to ask my fiancee who own that number then she said its that guy I saw his chat and I should not worry, she will fix it.

Recently again, she has travelled and up till this moment, she is not back, she promised she won't stay upto 2 weeks but yesterday makes it 5 weeks. That same yesterday, my mum's pastor asked my mum to call me that he has a message for me which I later went, he greeted me and say, while he was praying for me because of my mums request, that he was shown that the lady I am planning of marrying is not mine alone, that if I go ahead to marry her, she will wreck me and leave me, he said she travelled now and I said yes, he said she was seeing someone else in the village, he said if I doubt him, I should go ahead.

It was then my mum now said, my younger sister told her of a dream she had, that I caught my fiancee with another guy and it leads to a fight which the said guy killed me. I myself have had such dreams too. The pastor gave me 3 days fasting and prayer. I am confused, despite all her cunning ways I still love her but what should I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice.


I was enjoying your story from the beginning but later pissed up ,when you said you will be 30 this April and you are panicking!My dear am 35 with no relationship,stays in 3 bed room apartment alone and not panicking.I have been burnt before and was also warned but the so called fake love beclouded my sense of reasoning and the the lady left me..She has moved on and here am i still single at 35 because of "I LOVE THE GIRL SYNDROME" I advise you leave the girl and move on.One thing i have learnt in any breakup is that ladies move on faster and quite easier for them..So dont let it way you down.You will surely get over it.A word is enough for the wise.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by redcliff: 9:16am On Mar 04, 2016
Lawz20:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders, I have a very serious problem which I so much believe that with your kind and generous advice, I might take the right step. I met this girl around April 2012 at my work place and since then we have been together after I proposed to her last year. The fact is I love her so much and I thought she also loves me.

I went down with her to her village around April 2014 to see her parents formally and they were so happy, her mum, dad, grand parents and even her siblings welcomed me wholeheartedly and I was so happy. I stayed with them for two weeks just to see if I can picture out any bad behavior but seriously, non was found.

The problem am having with her is that she has too much male friends and most of them are always sending her love messages both on 2go and Facebook. I once stumble on her Facebook inbox and I found a chat between her and another guy and he was just thanking her for coming to spend good time with him, bla bla bla and how he enjoyed her. I was so mad because during this period she went to the village alone and promised to return in a week but she didn't until after 3 weeks, this is what she always do, she travels like 4-5 times in a year and never return on time. When she returned, I confronted her and she said she is not the one that did that chat with the guy, I tried asking her who did but she never gave me a good answer.

Later that week, she gave me her phone to help her charge it in a barbing saloon, then a strange number called and I picked, the person hissed and cut the call, he later sent a message saying, "you're picking my wife's call and asking me who it is" I replied him that he should check the number that he might be wrong, he then mentioned her name. I went back home to ask my fiancee who own that number then she said its that guy I saw his chat and I should not worry, she will fix it.

Recently again, she has travelled and up till this moment, she is not back, she promised she won't stay upto 2 weeks but yesterday makes it 5 weeks. That same yesterday, my mum's pastor asked my mum to call me that he has a message for me which I later went, he greeted me and say, while he was praying for me because of my mums request, that he was shown that the lady I am planning of marrying is not mine alone, that if I go ahead to marry her, she will wreck me and leave me, he said she travelled now and I said yes, he said she was seeing someone else in the village, he said if I doubt him, I should go ahead.

It was then my mum now said, my younger sister told her of a dream she had, that I caught my fiancee with another guy and it leads to a fight which the said guy killed me. I myself have had such dreams too. The pastor gave me 3 days fasting and prayer. I am confused, despite all her cunning ways I still love her but what should I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice.

Mumuni Alao

1 Like

Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by ucjesuso: 9:21am On Mar 04, 2016
i dont know why some people are so stupid and foolish.go ahead and marry her and wait for your regret
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by bbjummy: 9:23am On Mar 04, 2016
folksync:
I don't know what to say since your man of dog has already told you what to do.
God you mean?
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by clemostika: 9:26am On Mar 04, 2016
@op, it's really rear nowadays to hv a girl seeing only one man, so it shouldn't be a surprise to u, are u a learner? Guy, u can still strengthen d relationship, this is no issue, there re worse situations. Assuming u never had d chance to see her chat or any clue linking her moves, wouldn't u had continued... Burst dt dream and pastor gimmicks, it could be a ploy to distract u from continuing with her, probably cos ur mum or sister may hv seen her wit dt guy in d village.. But my candid advise is, after thorough assessment and u feel d risk is HIGH! And u don't hv what it takes to withstand d hit... run man!
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by vicolurin(f): 9:27am On Mar 04, 2016
the only thing i will tell u is dat u should not let that woman(ur mother) weep over u because of one stupid gurl u call ur fiance.....
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by wacoj(m): 9:28am On Mar 04, 2016
Poster you know very well that she is cheating on you seriously.
But how on earth can you follow a girl you intend to marry to her
home in the village and spent two weeks there? what were you thinking?

1.She now view you as a very cheap and common person. Not even did you lodge in an hotel.
Guy you really F. there.

2. Advice: I see a relationship that wont last, a relationship with lies as its foundation.
What will break you more is if you have not eaten her well. You better take your share
of her before leaving her to go. Make sure U dig her well else u will feel sorry for a long time.

1 Like

Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Wealthy15(f): 9:30am On Mar 04, 2016
Lawz20:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders, I have a very serious problem which I so much believe that with your kind and generous advice, I might take the right step. I met this girl around April 2012 at my work place and since then we have been together after I proposed to her last year. The fact is I love her so much and I thought she also loves me.

I went down with her to her village around April 2014 to see her parents formally and they were so happy, her mum, dad, grand parents and even her siblings welcomed me wholeheartedly and I was so happy. I stayed with them for two weeks just to see if I can picture out any bad behavior but seriously, non was found.

The problem am having with her is that she has too much male friends and most of them are always sending her love messages both on 2go and Facebook. I once stumble on her Facebook inbox and I found a chat between her and another guy and he was just thanking her for coming to spend good time with him, bla bla bla and how he enjoyed her. I was so mad because during this period she went to the village alone and promised to return in a week but she didn't until after 3 weeks, this is what she always do, she travels like 4-5 times in a year and never return on time. When she returned, I confronted her and she said she is not the one that did that chat with the guy, I tried asking her who did but she never gave me a good answer.

Later that week, she gave me her phone to help her charge it in a barbing saloon, then a strange number called and I picked, the person hissed and cut the call, he later sent a message saying, "you're picking my wife's call and asking me who it is" I replied him that he should check the number that he might be wrong, he then mentioned her name. I went back home to ask my fiancee who own that number then she said its that guy I saw his chat and I should not worry, she will fix it.

Recently again, she has travelled and up till this moment, she is not back, she promised she won't stay upto 2 weeks but yesterday makes it 5 weeks. That same yesterday, my mum's pastor asked my mum to call me that he has a message for me which I later went, he greeted me and say, while he was praying for me because of my mums request, that he was shown that the lady I am planning of marrying is not mine alone, that if I go ahead to marry her, she will wreck me and leave me, he said she travelled now and I said yes, he said she was seeing someone else in the village, he said if I doubt him, I should go ahead.

It was then my mum now said, my younger sister told her of a dream she had, that I caught my fiancee with another guy and it leads to a fight which the said guy killed me. I myself have had such dreams too. The pastor gave me 3 days fasting and prayer. I am confused, despite all her cunning ways I still love her but what should I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice.
Guy you need deliverance from monitoring and spirits on assignment in your life in form of that lady,you don't need advice because it's has been given you already by your pastor and family unless you want to die before your time.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by bayinq25(m): 9:35am On Mar 04, 2016
Lawz20:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders, I have a very serious problem which I so much believe that with your kind and generous advice, I might take the right step. I met this girl around April 2012 at my work place and since then we have been together after I proposed to her last year. The fact is I love her so much and I thought she also loves me.

I went down with her to her village around April 2014 to see her parents formally and they were so happy, her mum, dad, grand parents and even her siblings welcomed me wholeheartedly and I was so happy. I stayed with them for two weeks just to see if I can picture out any bad behavior but seriously, non was found.

The problem am having with her is that she has too much male friends and most of them are always sending her love messages both on 2go and Facebook. I once stumble on her Facebook inbox and I found a chat between her and another guy and he was just thanking her for coming to spend good time with him, bla bla bla and how he enjoyed her. I was so mad because during this period she went to the village alone and promised to return in a week but she didn't until after 3 weeks, this is what she always do, she travels like 4-5 times in a year and never return on time. When she returned, I confronted her and she said she is not the one that did that chat with the guy, I tried asking her who did but she never gave me a good answer.

Later that week, she gave me her phone to help her charge it in a barbing saloon, then a strange number called and I picked, the person hissed and cut the call, he later sent a message saying, "you're picking my wife's call and asking me who it is" I replied him that he should check the number that he might be wrong, he then mentioned her name. I went back home to ask my fiancee who own that number then she said its that guy I saw his chat and I should not worry, she will fix it.

Recently again, she has travelled and up till this moment, she is not back, she promised she won't stay upto 2 weeks but yesterday makes it 5 weeks. That same yesterday, my mum's pastor asked my mum to call me that he has a message for me which I later went, he greeted me and say, while he was praying for me because of my mums request, that he was shown that the lady I am planning of marrying is not mine alone, that if I go ahead to marry her, she will wreck me and leave me, he said she travelled now and I said yes, he said she was seeing someone else in the village, he said if I doubt him, I should go ahead.

It was then my mum now said, my younger sister told her of a dream she had, that I caught my fiancee with another guy and it leads to a fight which the said guy killed me. I myself have had such dreams too. The pastor gave me 3 days fasting and prayer. I am confused, despite all her cunning ways I still love her but what should I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice.
That girl really fvcked you well...."good girls don't know how to fvck,bad girls ain't loyal"

1 Like

Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by amacastel: 9:36am On Mar 04, 2016
McCarlito:
I don't have a problem with my lady's inbox messages....The only place I have a problem with her is about her outbox (sent messages that's where the truth is found).

Picking her calls without her consent and spying on her with intent to catch her cheating is wrong... She gave u her fone to charge and u switched it on waiting for who to call her and u gladly picked her calls expecting to be respected by the caller that's childish bro...

She travels for weeks without u querying someone in her family about her frequent visits to her village and wait their replies.. As she's not her village town crier..

Concerning ur pastors revelations and tastings and prayers..... don't forget many homes have been ruined and relationships ended because of "My Pastor said this syndrome"

Bro.... don't rush to get married because of age as that is not a great reason to marry... Since u still love this lady as u said above; u have to call her to a quiet place and have a heart-to-heart convo with her to identify what is it that u are not doing or u are doing that is making her live a nomadic and promiscuous lifestyle...
Don't be surprised Bro.... the problems might be u.. or some other factors u are overlooking.....



My sincere advise would be for u To move on with ur life SIMPLE
Cheers...

I rebuke u in Jesus name bad advisers every where even his dreams and his sister dream don't worth it abi the bible says that my pple perish from lack of knowledge God speak to us tru man cos we r still in the world though not of the world
@ Op prayer for 3 days with psalm 69,55 ask God for his deliverance from this lady and let him separate the weed from d seed in ur life as set confusing in the camp of ur enemies add midnight to it use psalm 91 as b4 grace. It works like juju who said God no dy answer prayer try dis and give ur testimony.

1 Like

Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by AVECDEO: 9:44am On Mar 04, 2016
So because you'll be 30 you want go ahead and marry her.....now my question is do you want to die at 31....you better do the needful while you still have the golden chance abi na opportunity sef...whichever boh.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Rajalat: 9:49am On Mar 04, 2016
With all that you have seen even heard of a vision, your sister dream even you yourself had same dream yet you still blinded by your emotion while you still running after a destiny destroyer you calling fiance .... Some people were not this lucky to to foresee what will happen them tomorrow you better thank your star and move on with your life..she is a dead trap for your destiny

1 Like

Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by saxomo6(m): 9:54am On Mar 04, 2016
But fools like you are rare.... This is the hardest reality you've not accepted till date. I can't remember seeing a man more guided by emotions. What advise do you think you need. Go to the village and fight that guy... I respect your stupidity
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by NOBLE179(m): 9:55am On Mar 04, 2016
Run for ur dear life bro !
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Ladycloud(f): 10:01am On Mar 04, 2016
Just use ur head... The signs are clear
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Edmatva: 10:04am On Mar 04, 2016
Thank God its coming to light early. There was a guy who had to run away a night to his wedding when the Lord in His mercies revealed the true identity of the lady. Young man, its not by age but if you decide to go on OYO. I left a relationship of 5years 11months, its like I will not be able to, but God showed up and to date am grateful I embraced Christ and let go. Today am happily married and having the best of time. I candid advice, move on and don't kill yourself about it, its not worth it. You need Jesus.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Onelovetayz(m): 10:06am On Mar 04, 2016
My beloved brother, you still have a very long way to go, marriage is not by age or you are not getting younger. Please, seek the face of Almighty God for your own wife.

In a nutshell, run for your dear life it's very precious to you. It is well with you bro.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by soderican(m): 10:16am On Mar 04, 2016
Man up!
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by G12(m): 10:21am On Mar 04, 2016
Lol... Abeg go borrow Usain Bolt shoes if you don't know how to run
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by antispexish(m): 10:27am On Mar 04, 2016
Very simple solution, dnt give her money for two months and her true feelings for you will come out!
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by laidback(m): 10:39am On Mar 04, 2016
//////////////////////////////////////////////////


OP I think you're under a spell. This is not love. Or else how can a man be so weak?

The only other possibility is that she's very good looking and you've never dated a beautiful woman before and so you feel lucky.

Weak men irritate me



\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by happyjuliet(f): 11:19am On Mar 04, 2016
Op which other advice do u need, apart from d ones u have heard from ur pastor, sister and u yourself heard d same dream with ur sister, my bro seeking a life partner is not something u should take likely, and has for ur age u are till young, pray d right one will come.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Ifymma(f): 11:53am On Mar 04, 2016
Forget about her and forge ahead before its too late for you. Read the handwriting on the wall, she is never gonna be a good wife for you. Finish your fasting and prayers and God will decide and choose another wife for you.
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by fairheven: 11:58am On Mar 04, 2016
Sexytemi:
i think i agree with berryscott on this. pls do the 3 days fasting with serious prayers, then i believe God would surely show u d right part.

And let him make it "dry fast" smiley so the problem will dry fast
Re: Please Help, My 4 Years Relationship Seems To Be Crashing Down by Wowzer(m): 12:24pm On Mar 04, 2016
Op is a gullible fellow. Evidences before you shows she is not who you think she is, yet you are still talking of love and seeking advice.

You had better go for HIV screening and let go the village escort. At age 30 you are desperate to make a LovePeddler your wife.

I don't even waste time with a suspicious girl friend. The moment there is high level of suspicion....even without evidence. It's over and done with. Not going to worry my head over dodgy women, looking for evidence or investigating or seeking advice. when they run like buses. Miss one...Catch one.

Life is simple. Op. Man up.

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