that juju that would make me marry from my tribe and miss out from the beautiful diversity of this multi-culturally amazing country will never succeed.

beauty in diversity
must marry outside my tribe

Madam, you have to go into serious prayers. Parental consent in marriage can not be overlooked. Make sure you are really convinced before taking any decision.
But while will some one stay in a relationship for five years that one of the parents is not in agreement? Sometimes, I wonder most single men and women misbehave when it comes to the matter of marriage of a thing.
Marrying a person means marrying the entire family and not just the man or the woman only.
Good luck.

skillzbae:
Have a heart to heart talk with ur man, be sure he really want this to work as much as u do, I was in ur shoe many years ago, I'm a Yoruba married to an akwa ibom, his parent wanted him to marry Frm dre place bt he was not interested, b4 marriage, I used to av problems with his mum nd sisters, d dad nd brother didn't av any problem, bt with time, every one become happy, nw, my mother in law is my best friend, we gist nd drive to market together. You can make dem love u, dre might b a reason in d past for dre behaviour

Thank u dear

legalspices:


I raally do want to make it work....but this Igbo FAM has a way of turning things around and thats my fear

You didn't say anything about your fiance's stance thus far?How adamant is he that it's you he wants?
If his parents are the traditional igbo people,I'll advise you to move on.
Prayers can change things if this indeed is the Lord's will for you.

johnsonjosbles:
op, run 4ur life, I'm yoruba man married to hausa lady, I never experience any problem but you see igbo brothers are too tribalisic about everything, they will do everything to frustrate ur life if u insist. Trust me.

we don hear naa...how many times you talk am?

IkpuMmadu:



Do you realise that Igbo language is a difficult language and it takes years to master igbo....which dialect woukd she learn


That's why it's hard to see non igbo speak Igbo language ...it's a difficult language ...she should kwado maka ogo Na abia

Wetin concern me

Maka makwara

I don't really support asking the lady to learn igbo because of marriage, its good but not pre-requisite.
but also saying igbo language is difficult is a fallacy.. its not more difficult than any language, its a mindset problem.
..just were are Everly ready to learn and adapt to others language but others....

IkpuMmadu:



Tell am....i am...i have shouted and she won't hear

I am married for over 6 yrs now

She still won't hear

legalspices:

Thanks a bunch really preciate....u said it all

You are welcome dear,you can PM me if need be.

My dear is better for u to throw away ur five yrs relationship than for u to wallow in misery till eternity.so that u wl live longer.

Chukazu:


we don hear naa...how many times you talk am?

I talk am once oh, na qout you dey there dey read.

IkpuMmadu:


To you am a tribalist and that is not a bad thing
But to me I am a realist and that is an awesome thing



Everyday here in Nairaland people will complain igbo this igbo that ...it's becoming shameful
They will complain that Igbo won't marry them , therw parents won't let them marry them.

This is sickening and despicable


How many times have you seen an Igbo man or woman cry that the other tribe won't let them marry them




This is such a shameful thing...people throwing their selves on igbo....igbo are just human and this whining should stop

as a fellow igbo, please stop. u r coming off as tribalistic, insensitive and uncouth. if you can't be polite while sharing your 'advice' (which is not even a good one imho) then leave the thread.
@op, take the advice of those who are married to people from other tribes themselves. they know better.

Contrary to what many think,when you marry someone,you marry that person ALONE...Not his/her family...you've got two options: Get married(if you both wanna), or: end an otherwise wonderful relationship because of tribal (perhaps religious) bigotry...the choice is yours.

Gabby91:

as a fellow igbo, please stop. u r coming off as tribalistic, insensitive and uncouth. if you can't be polite while sharing your 'advice' (which is not even a good one imho) then leave the thread.
@op, take the advice of those who are married to people from other tribes themselves. they know better.

Fellow igbo keep your advice to yourself ....i have the right to air .y views

Buzz off

Tijay90:
Contrary to what many think,when you marry someone,you marry that person ALONE...Not his/her family...you've got two options: Get married(if you both wanna), or: end an otherwise wonderful relationship because of tribal (perhaps religious) bigotry...the choice is yours.

I guess you are yet to step foot into marital life.

kingdavidG:



You are just a TRIBALIST and besides go and re-read the post if you wouldn't mind. There was never a time the post said she was throwing herself on him rather she said the guy loved and accepted her but that the parents disapproved of it, so the problem is not about the guy, stop asking her whether there is no Yoruba guy that is 'husbandable',. I see you and that her guy's family are of the same view.

I am a TRIBALIST and also a REALIST ...so do you have any other thing to say

kingdavidG:



What sort of RUBBISH is this? People who cherish Unity and Peaceful co-existence doesn't talk this way, I referred to this as RUBBISH because I examined to see if I can find a reasonable point, but unfortunately I couldn't find any. All these "Will you... Will you... Will you..." are targeted at creating negative impression and building tension and fright, which is RUBBISH. Those rites attached to the "Will you(s)" are nothing and lacks the capacity to be a burden or thing of concern. I BE ORIGINAL IGBO BOY, those things ain't Big Deal. Being ignorant of their meaning has been use as tool to create fright.

Original igbo
Orijin drink


Your eyes see what they want to see


What I have written stays



Gbafuo

mikolo80:
na true sha

No mind them

richyblink1:


Oga, you make it seem like marrying an Igbo man is world war 3. The point you listed there are all meaningless if the man have balls and stand his grounds.

I am igbo while my better half is Akwa Ibom. Yet the sky isn't cracking . The man in question should be able to talk to this parents and make them understand where his happiness lies.

Let's stop encouraging tribalism and encourage one another to resist it gently till it's corrected

You have said it all..op your man should stand his ground and talk to his parents. Being Igbo and Yoruba is the least of your problems. Your fiancé's family should accept you, if they do not my advice is that you should walk away and by Gods Grace a better man will find you.

My fiancé is Yoruba and m Igbo, he's not catholic and m catholic and we r getting married before the end of this year. My dear, my mum was against it at first ,l talk to her that this is where my happiness lies and its him and no one else, I explained to my family and they understand.

Op put it in prayers , believe and faith . There's nothing GOD cannot do. That's my 2 cents sha!

Vickyydera:
you married outside East and you are here discouraging inter tribal marriage. isn't that weird?

Outside east but still have Igbo speaking in Delta , Rivers even Edo state ....the bottom line is that they are Igbo speaking and same culture and they are outside east

to ikpummadu and his ilk, tribe? race? God is watching us so called Christians. all I know is acts 10:34 says 'At this Peter began to speak, and he said: “Now I truly understand that God is not partial, 35 but in every nation the man who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.
u should focus on compatibility, communication and other important factors not tribe.

legalspices:
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.


Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy

5yrs is not maimai.

You're worried about things that haven't happened yet, simply because your guy's parents don't like the relationship.

As long as you love him and he loves you, his parents will definitely come around. Parents always come around, especially, if you have great attitude.

You should be glad that his siblings don't have issues with the relationship and don't give a f*uck about ethnicity. Instead of thinking about ending the relationship, you should rather focus on ways to establish a good rapport with his parents.

Don't f*uck with your relationship because of his parents. If you end it to move on, then it would mean you're unfit to handle difficulties that do arise sometimes in a relationship.

IkpuMmadu:


Oga what is meaningless


Let us start encouraging people marrying their likes ...it's not a nive thing disobeying parents just to marry

We will all be parents someday so why will you advise somebody to disobey

And why should a lady throw herself on a man that his family doesn't want her...there should be dignity

Why can't the lady simply walk away and let the man sort this thing out of he really wants


This is shameful a lady comes to public forum to lament about Igbo man not marrying her...for Christ sake sue can find men in her tribe or is her tribal men not marriage material


This is shameful ..and for a lady for that matter ...we know husbands are scarce but there should be dignity NAA


A man should be the one doing the chasing .....

You are talking thrash. Are u sure you are Igbo or were u joking? So she should instead go and marry a yoruba guy she doesn't love just because the guy's parents accept her? Smh4u

I think that the op already knows what path she should take in this matter; she just doesn't want to admit it to herself. You needn't seek advice on such an intimate matter online as the posters of Nairaland won't be the ones who'll be involved in your marriage. As for the guy's parents, it could go either way with them, they may eventually soften their stance on you or they may remain resolute with it. No one can predict the future but I would be lying if I did not tell you that your marriage will be based on a weaker foundation than it should be due to the lack of support from his family. In this day and age, married couples need as much support as possible. If you and your partner are prepared to take on this challenge then I pray that God blesses your union but if not, I pray that both you and him find people that will not cause you as many problems in the future.

naijaobi:


You are talking thrash. Are u sure you are Igbo or were u joking? So she should instead go and marry a yoruba guy she doesn't love just because the guy's parents accept her? Smh4u

Are u done?

Next !!!!

Ngozi123:
I think that the op already knows what path she should take in this matter; she just doesn't want to admit it to herself. You needn't seek advice on such an intimate matter online as the posters of Nairaland won't be the ones who'll be involved in your marriage. As for the guy's parents, it could go either way with them, they may eventually soften their stance on you or they may remain resolute with it. No one can predict the future but I would be lying if I did not tell you that your marriage will based on a weaker foundation than it should be due to the lack of support from his family. In this day and age, married couples need as much support as possible. If you and your partner are prepared to take on this challenge then I pray that God blesses your union but if not, I pray that both you and him find people that will not cause you as many problems in the future.

CHUKWU gozie gi


She knows the truth but wants us to tell her the truth and I did that sufficiently

Gabby91:
to ikpummadu and his ilk, tribe? race? God is watching us so called Christians. all I know is acts 10:34 says 'At this Peter began to speak, and he said: “Now I truly understand that God is not partial, 35 but in every nation the man who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.
u should focus on compatibility, communication and other important factors not tribe.

I gave an advise that's all .....okay do you want me to tell him to encourage the guy to disobey the parents

God forbid


Bible said ...respect your parents for they are the god you see on earth

richyblink1:


Oga, you make it seem like marrying an Igbo man is world war 3. The point you listed there are all meaningless if the man have balls and stand his grounds.

I am igbo while my better half is Akwa Ibom. Yet the sky isn't cracking . The man in question should be able to talk to this parents and make them understand where his happiness lies.

Let's stop encouraging tribalism and encourage one another to resist it gently till it's corrected

There area lot of similarities

IkpuMmadu:

I gave an advise that's all .....okay do you want me to tell him to encourage the guy to disobey the parents

God forbid


Bible said ...respect your parents for they are the god you see on earth

which Bible did you get that quote from? they're the god you see on earth? be careful the way you add to the Bible all in the name of adding weight to ur personal opinions...

there's already a laid down eternal divine cause to those who add to God's word....

sammied:





you see.... other tribes are not as myopic as igbos...tribalism is the reason igbo have produced no quality leaders in Nigeria, the world is a global village, when you cannot easily relate and accept others, you automatically lose out... all the shout about been segregated in Nigeria by igbos... what has it produced? nothing!

most of this tribalistic igbos does not even know their village, if not for the open minded nature of other tribes accepting them into their lands they wouldn't have amount to anything....

the earlier igbos wake up from their tribalistic snoring sleep... the better for them....

Someone who reads your post would think that this kind of thing can't happen in youruba families. Would you swear with your life that every yoruba family will accept an igbo inlaw?
You people should learn to treat each case on its merit instead of capitalizing on it to generalize. Have you heard all stories involving inter tribal marriage?
Okay, will you say yorubas are tribalist since some yoruba landlords will never rent thier house to an igbo person? My friend, there is no perfect tribe. get that into your head.

legalspices:
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.


Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy

I alwayz tell ppl dat love is not enuff wen it comes to d issue of marrige,other factors shud b considered right from courtship.if after spending 5yrs wit him n his parents view hasn't changed den changes are it will neva change,so move on though it wud b hard n I wudnt advice u to separate d son from his folks. They even do it to their own child not to talk of u a stranger.

IkpuMmadu:


Fellow igbo keep your advice to yourself ....i have the right to air .y views

Buzz off

How old are you?

Ngozi123:
I think that the op already knows what path she should take in this matter; she just doesn't want to admit it to herself. You needn't seek advice on such an intimate matter online as the posters of Nairaland won't be the ones who'll be involved in your marriage. As for the guy's parents, it could go either way with them, they may eventually soften their stance on you or they may remain resolute with it. No one can predict the future but I would be lying if I did not tell you that your marriage will based on a weaker foundation than it should be due to the lack of support from his family. In this day and age, married couples need as much support as possible. If you and your partner are prepared to take on this challenge then I pray that God blesses your union but if not, I pray that both you and him find people that will not cause you as many problems in the future.

Ngozi , ur smart...I love the way you reason.well said.