bitchcrafts:
if you ask me to be honest , I wasn't concerned about putting smile on anybody's face cos in an attempt at doing that, another person is feeling sad. So, essence to me was that we all were playing mock politics; Naija style. It felt surreal so that you can actually feel what it feels like to be a Nigerian politician; everybody was truely selfish . I offered to send a tipping over because I was elated u guys played that game so well you came out victorious. Perfect mockery of Naija politicking!. That reminds Laveda, dou operate a GTB acct ? That's the one close by for us to drop the token...

bitchcrafts:
The way you feign ignorance at full blown oddity amuses me I must confess, Keep it up! And don't forget to dress up well so that people won't start mistaking u for a woman who's got few bolts unknotted against their will up there.

foolinlove:


I'm not ignorant, I'm asking you to expand your thinking.

You assume that men are lunatics who uncontrollably think of only one thing - sex. That no man is capable of thinking anything further than sex when they have a woman in front of them.

I think men are more intelligent than you give credit for. A man grieving for the loss of his child will hardly think of sex all the time. A man who is talking with his mother won't be thinking about having sex with her (I hope).

Furthermore, you also purport that it is a woman's responsibility to control men's thoughts by dressing "modestly" - whatever that means. Do you really think it is possible to control anyone's thoughts?

How do you know that men confronted with a woman dressed in a niqab aren't thinking "I wonder what is under that niqab, if I will want to have sex with her".

Just because *you* think a certain way, doesn't mean everybody else thinks that way. You do not speak for everyone - and you certainly don't have the right to label or influence other people's actions based on your illogical emotive processes.

For my part, I hated all men. But I have come across a couple of lovely men on this forum. My views have changed.

I think maybe you should change your views on gender - that both males and females are human beings. That you can't judge any book by its cover. That women have the right to dress any way they should want without fear of retribution from you or anyone else.

And btw, I will dress any way I please. If it's warm weather, I reserve the right to wear small clothes for my personal comfort. If I'm going out, I reserve the right to dress sexy for my mate (if I ever get one). If I'm ill and staying at home, I reserve the right to wear sweats all day.

I'd be interested to hear what other people think, though...

Dauntless15, domislaz, evegran, withambition, breadmaker, halfricanadian, blackfire... anyone else?

Breadmaker:
I don't know how you people managed to squeeze rape into this. It is no part of the main post.

I agree with you that you're free to wear what you like but it is wrong to wear it to whereve you like.

But if you insist on wearing them to wrong places then you must accept the consequences.

You get my drift?

I can go shirtless all day and wear boxers alone but i cannot step out of my compound shirtless because is just does't seem right and it may cause a sister to habour immoral thoughts.

Our dressing can earn us respect and can downgrade us as well.

A south sudan minister was recently sent out of a meeting because of his awkward attire so it isn't just a female thing.

There is a way a guy will dress and i will never take him serious nor want to be seen in his company.

Men who rape minors cannot say it is because of their dressing so i don't want to talk about that.

It irritates me already.

foolinlove:


So you think your actions can control other people's thoughts? Smh. That's impossible. And I'm not even going to try to do that, because you can't please all people all the time.

If you are simply highlighting that dress codes exist in certain places - congratulations. They do and they're signposted. Outside those areas, I'll wear what I like.

Also, saying that "you must accept the consequences of dressing this way" is really stupid. This is where rape entered the conversation (Breadmaker, you were absent when it went down this path).

Saying some women "invite rape" by what they wear is ridiculous. No one wants to be raped. And women will be raped REGARDLESS of WHAT they wear. Clothes are a flimsy excuse. Men can control themselves, and should. They're not wild animals.

Breadmaker:
Men must die regardless of how they protect themselves but holding two live wires or jumping out of a speeding vehicle makes it faster.

Indecent exposure isn't a justification for rape but it contributes to the cause.

Finally, saying that someone's line of thought is stupid because it doesn't tally with yours is very wrong so I am bowing out of this argument.

You win.

foolinlove:


I'm not ignorant, I'm asking you to expand your thinking.

You assume that men are lunatics who uncontrollably think of only one thing - sex. That no man is capable of thinking anything further than sex when they have a woman in front of them.

I think men are more intelligent than you give credit for. A man grieving for the loss of his child will hardly think of sex all the time. A man who is talking with his mother won't be thinking about having sex with her (I hope).

Furthermore, you also purport that it is a woman's responsibility to control men's thoughts by dressing "modestly" - whatever that means. Do you really think it is possible to control anyone's thoughts?

How do you know that men confronted with a woman dressed in a niqab aren't thinking "I wonder what is under that niqab, if I will want to have sex with her".

Just because *you* think a certain way, doesn't mean everybody else thinks that way. You do not speak for everyone - and you certainly don't have the right to label or influence other people's actions based on your illogical emotive processes.

For my part, I hated all men. But I have come across a couple of lovely men on this forum. My views have changed.

I think maybe you should change your views on gender - that both males and females are human beings. That you can't judge any book by its cover. That women have the right to dress any way they should want without fear of retribution from you or anyone else.

And btw, I will dress any way I please. If it's warm weather, I reserve the right to wear small clothes for my personal comfort. If I'm going out, I reserve the right to dress sexy for my mate (if I ever get one). If I'm ill and staying at home, I reserve the right to wear sweats all day.

I'd be interested to hear what other people think, though...

Dauntless15, domislaz, evegran, withambition, breadmaker, halfricanadian, blackfire... anyone else?

foolinlove:

Rape is caused by rapists alone.
You can't continue your arguement because you have no logic to back it up.
Enjoy your judgemental life.

foolinlove:


Rape is caused by rapists alone.

You can't continue your arguement because you have no logic to back it up.

Enjoy your judgemental life.

Owliver:
rape is not cursed by the rapist. no one causes rape. environment makes a man. humans a beast in nature. "society" is what tramples on that right. people don't do what they do cause they want to but are forced to do it by one pain/knowledge or the other.

what if I tell I have every right to kill you? I love killing don't try to tell me what I want or need. only I understand my urge for blood. let me slit your throat out. but then I get arrested(here is society again cubbing my need for blood)

so you see the work of a society? and pls I don't justify rape just in case you thought about that.

Domislaz:


You are right my dear. I hope he gets your point. Women don’t cause rape by what they wear. Asking about correlation between clothing and rape is tricky, though. To make clear, sexual assault is never the victims fault. Someone has to act to commit rape. No one forces that choice. If seeing an enticing woman led men to conclude, “I’ve got to rape her,” all men would be rapists. Yet few are. And plenty of assaulted women are not dressed sexily, including women draped in head-to-toe burqas.

Interestingly, veiled women are blamed, too: “He must have seen a bit of her ankle, wrist, hair, neck… Who could resist!?”
Strippers are the most sexually “provocative” of all, yet patrons manage to contain themselves. Yes, bouncers provide security, but they aren’t stationed with blinders blocking their sight. And who’s watching them? Male customers aren’t physically restrained. The men are actually controlling themselves.

Sociologists who have interviewed rapists, read their accounts and looked at the circumstances of their crimes have learned that they have a variety of motives . Here are a few:
Some rape to feel powerful, others gang rape to demonstrate their “manhood” (defined as powerful, dominant, violent, virile, and not gay) to each otherhand fraternally bond, some become aroused by sadistically bringing sex and violence together, others seek to harm an entire race, community or nation by using sexual assault as a political weapon, still others seek revenge against someone other than the rape
victim. And some misread cues.

Rapists who misread cues believe the following: men are naturally assertive and women are naturally passive. There are “good girls” and “bad girls.” Bad girls secretly want sex but can’t admit it, so they trick men into forcing sex. In a nutshell, the number of assaults will not go down if women make sure to cover up. The cue-reading rapist has decided to attack someone, and is seeking justification. He will rape and he will find something to blame other than himself. By placing women in charge of his sexuality he abdicates responsibility (it’s her fault). How convenient for him!

And while different rapists have different ways of
thinking, they are all sexist. At the least, they believe
they have more right to a woman’s body than a
woman does, herself.

Owliver:
rape is not cursed by the rapist. no one causes rape. environment makes a man. humans a beast in nature. "society" is what tramples on that right. people don't do what they do cause they want to but are forced to do it by one pain/knowledge or the other.

what if I tell I have every right to kill you? I love killing don't try to tell me what I want or need. only I understand my urge for blood. let me slit your throat out. but then I get arrested(here is society again cubbing my need for blood)

so you see the work of a society? and pls I don't justify rape just in case you thought about that.

Breadmaker:
The lady you quoted and some people up there don't seem to know the difference between cause of a crime and justification of a crime.

Like I have stated before, any man or woman who doesn't care about how his or her actions and inactions affect the people around them need to have their sanity tested.

foolinlove:


A murder victim doesn't cause their own murder. The murderer causes the murder. Your logic is flawed.

Don't blame society for actions, blame the perpetrator. Good and evil do exist. There are grey areas for mental illness, duress etc.

But to excuse murder and rape because "society". That's weak.

foolinlove:


I think I just fell in love with your brain. The world needs more men like you.

Owliver:
you didn't understand my post. certainly. see there's nothing as good and evil. it is society that tells us what we should perceive as good and evil. but in reality there's no good and evil.

we humans became so intelligent we upgraded our jungle nature from pure jungle(actual jungle) to society(jungle of deception)

I once saw a friend of mine eating African cherry(Agbalumo) and I asked him to give me he said no. I should go buy my own. he says he won't give me his own.

your own? b!tch dude you came to this world with nothing. everything you possess is stolen by deception(knowledge). you cheated. you had an edge. there wasn't a fair play.

I need that cherry. you need it I need it too. then the society comes in. hey police pls someone tried to take my cherry. police comes and locks me in a cell. oooh I didn't get that sweet cherry I so crave. why me. so unfair. yh that's society.

bill gate son didn't choose to be Bill Gates son. a poor man's son didn't choose to be a poor man's son. so tell me why do you call one rich and one poor? where was the fair play?

no one does things by themselves. pain makes a man. knowledge makes a man.

foolinlove:


I think I just fell in love with your brain. The world needs more men like you.

Triczchic:


I'm not pained. Just tired of ur desire to generalize this issue. Some guys just don't understand that all women cannot be labelled same.

foolinlove:


Ok so you're getting existential. Good for you. But women aren't property.

Are you saying that women's bodies don't belong to themselves ie, there is no such thing as rape because property doesn't exist. That essentially society has determined that women should have autonomy over their bodies and that goes against "nature".

I disagree. Society developed for a reason... you may not agree with everything that goes on or think that its "fair"; but it serves various purposes, like protection of the vulnerable. And I do believe thay good and evil exist in their inherent forms.

I posit that violation of someone's autonomy is evil. Something which violates a person's ability to make choices about how their body is treated, like rape, torture, murder etc. are evil. I'm not having and argument about theft.

A woman's right to choose what happens to her body should be respected. She's not property. You can't just do what you want to her because "nature".

foolinlove:


I think I just fell in love with your brain. The world needs more men like you.

Blackfire:



*immediately raise my head*

Breadmaker:
Is there anything you own that is truly personal?

Triczchic:
Disrespect and downgrade those who give u reasons to do so and respect every other woman who stays decent. Stop with your generalization already!