Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,343 members, 7,819,207 topics. Date: Monday, 06 May 2024 at 12:45 PM

Jarizod's Book Of Jokes - Jokes Etc (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Jarizod's Book Of Jokes (49089 Views)

Huncho's Book Of Jokes / All New Sort Of Jokes. +updated+ / Chronicles Of Jokes (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 3:40pm On Jan 24, 2017
An almost hysterical man calls 911 and yells, "Please come quickly! Kailey is pregnant and her labor started now, it’s really intense!" "Is this her first child?" asks the operator. "No you dumbass! It’s her husband!"
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 3:43pm On Jan 24, 2017
Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 4:09pm On Jan 24, 2017

My wedding is this week saturday,
Dnt ask me d venue just be coming anywhere u see canopy enter.... grin tongue cheesy
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:23am On Feb 07, 2017

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has locked up a gay couple that wanted to get married and promised to free them when one gets pregnant.
grin cheesy

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:50pm On Feb 21, 2017

Some girls will hold the d** of their father's age mate and give a Mouth Action and won't be shy,
but will be shy to hold ordinary Microphone to give Testimony in church.
May your period play hide and seek with you this month if you don't change
If e pain u come beat me i dey Oyo state grin grin

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by optional1(f): 10:30pm On Mar 19, 2017
Jarizod:

Some girls will hold the d** of their father's age mate and give a Mouth Action and won't be shy,
but will be shy to hold ordinary Microphone to give Testimony in church.
May your period play hide and seek with you this month if you don't change
If e pain u come beat me i dey Oyo state grin grin



where you go since
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 6:00pm On Mar 20, 2017
optional1:



where you go since

i think he deactivate his account
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:04pm On Mar 20, 2017
optional1:



where you go since

Been hella busy with stuffs dear..
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by optional1(f): 7:36pm On Mar 20, 2017
Jarizod:


Been hella busy with stuffs dear..

ok

happy u back and save and healthy... I miss our crazy songs lyrics especially *pana*
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by obidike59(m): 6:12pm On Mar 21, 2017
lhawarl1:
Jarizod hafar na? Longest time....... Happy new year bro


Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
lolest
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:19pm On Mar 21, 2017
optional1:


ok

happy u back and save and healthy... I miss our crazy songs lyrics especially *pana*

Missed you too love..

Hope you good?
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by optional1(f): 11:38pm On Mar 21, 2017
Jarizod:

Missed you too love..
Hope you good?
bless God and you?
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:03am On Mar 22, 2017
optional1:


bless God and you?

Been good smiley

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Richardabbey(m): 9:05am On Mar 22, 2017
enof wit una love welcoming , post Moe jokes
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:54pm On Mar 22, 2017

#Just_because_a_mosquito_Bit_You, all you could do was to kill it...
Did you ever think if it was an Orphan?
Or a motherless Baby mosquito that desperately needs to feed?
Or a poor mosquito who has been ignored by the rich in d land of the Mosquitoes?
Or a maid mosquito that has been chased away
What if the Mosquito caught its wife with its best friend and needed to get drunk?
OR Mosquito that had a recent breakup ? And is heartbroken cry
Did you think of that?
No.no no ... Ur blood is more important You only thought about yourself grin


Bad people sad

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:56pm On Mar 22, 2017

Who said that English is easy?
Fill this blank with "YES" or "NO"
1. ______ I am not a Virgin.
2. ______ I don't have Sense.
3. ______ I am a Cheat.
4. ______ I am Stupid
grin grin

For a handsome price

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:58pm On Mar 22, 2017

A mother in law ask her son's wife: Why is it that all the children don't resemble their father?
Silly Wife: What I have in between my leg is a reproductive system, not a photocopying machine.
Lobatan... grin

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:22pm On Apr 01, 2017

#So_tell_me;
How can Nigeria's Agricultural Sector grow
When anytime it rains, our youths scream "Weather for two" instead of going out to plant yam and cassava

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 11:29pm On Apr 01, 2017
Jarizod:

#So_tell_me;
How can Nigeria's Agricultural Sector grow
When anytime it rains, our youths scream "Weather for two" instead of going out to plant yam and cassava

lol,... Become a farmer na

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 12:51am On Apr 02, 2017
lhawarl1:

lol,... Become a farmer na
grin grin
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 9:21am On Apr 03, 2017
Jarizod:
grin grin
drop April fool joke na
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:27pm On Apr 04, 2017


A friend of mine told me his father bought an Android car shocked shocked I told him our swimming pool got burnt yesteday grin
he blocked me grin

Aaaah... I thought It was lying competition
grin grin

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 4:09pm On May 04, 2017


Sissy, If you want to know whether you are ugly or not, just walk pass a construction site, if the labourers continue with their work, My sister you have your answer grin
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:41pm On May 13, 2017

Your boyfriend comes to visit you and buys you "Suya" But because you're angry with him, you threw away the "Suya" into the waste bin in his presence.... He leaves angrily only to discover that he has left his car keys at your place and comes back to meet you eating the "Suya"
at that time the witches in ur village will be singing no do no do garagara for me...........
#lol grin

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Simplyblessing(f): 9:27pm On May 14, 2017
Jarizod:

​REASON WHY SOME PEOPLE DONT GREET ELDERS IN THEIR VILLAGES​
Some village old women are too much.
Just greet an old woman and she will tell you the story of your
generation.
"Good morning Maama."
Old woman ​"Morning,​
*Is this not Chinedu the son of Ebuka the man who raped two girls before getting married to Chioma the daughter of the jackfruit seller who fell from a jackfruit tree while staring at the buttocks of Nannozi the village famous prostitute who aborted sixteen pregnancies before getting married to Buchi the Musoga from the neighbouring village.. is it not ur grandfather Mzee Katende that died of madness?
Eh, so you have grown so big?" cheesy grin
extremely funny...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:37pm On May 17, 2017

Learn Lessons From This..........
Wenger looking....
Mourinho came,won EPL
Wenger looking....
Ancelotti came,won EPL
Wenger looking.....
Mancini came, won EPL
Wenger looking....
Pellegrinni came, won EPL
Wenger looking....
Mourinho came back again, won EPL
Wenger looking....
Ranieri came, won EPL
Now Conte has come and won the EPL.
Wenger is still looking..
May your Destiny not make you a spectator as others come and achieve while u remain an onlooker'! wink


Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 7:26am On May 19, 2017
Lmao, nice work,
how come you are still alive?

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:01pm On May 19, 2017
lhawarl1:
Lmao, nice work,
how come you are still alive?

Lol bro.. You​ want make I die ni grin
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:06pm On May 19, 2017
Just negodu..When Jarizõd wey get 20-inchhh dey look for woman upandan to kpansh cry

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:11pm On May 19, 2017
I give up mehn grin beans inside meat pie??!!!! grin

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 9:12pm On May 19, 2017

Some guys will wake up by 2 am to pee and they will post on Facebook.
"Real hustlers don't sleep"..
Who are you deceiving....

2 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Simplyblessing(f): 9:36pm On May 19, 2017
[/color]
Jarizod:
[color=#006600]
When your mum is trying to call your sibling and you go and do high service and help her to echo the name...the next thing you'd hear is...Oh you are even there.
#Oya_come ... grin cheesy

lol...infact i remember this one. So ANNOYING

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)

When You Are Tired Of Driving The Car And Its Time For The Car To Drive You. Pic / How To Know You're Becoming Tushed(photo) / Bride Hustling On Her Wedding Day. (picture)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 38
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.