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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Jarizod's Book Of Jokes (49990 Views)
Huncho's Book Of Jokes / All New Sort Of Jokes. +updated+ / Chronicles Of Jokes (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:44am On Dec 06, 2016 |
You sent her 1k recharge card. . . . . . . . She loaded it and now flashed u. . . . . You with only 25 naira on ur fone will now call her & ask her if she has loaded it Bro come forward. No I won't beat you oh Just come forward. Now repeat after me" "Every spirit from my father's side or from my mother's side using my sense for pepper soup and doing mannequin challenge on my destiny... Die by fire!!!" OYA PRAAAAY 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by nnamdiosu(m): 10:44pm On Dec 06, 2016 |
Jarizod: Hahaaaa. Kia this guy. I just told my room mate this joke. We laugh Till tears burst out. Nice one 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:35am On Dec 07, 2016 |
nnamdiosu: Lol..Thanx bruv! 2 Likes |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by tejuyoung: 10:25pm On Dec 07, 2016 |
One of best comedy skits I've watched.. Watch and laugh... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt4Y_UqDLhM |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:50am On Dec 08, 2016 |
Wife: Honey Christmas is approaching. Husband: Thanks for reminding me. Can't wait. Wife: Get me a Tablet for Christmas. Husband: Really? Wife: Yeah. Husband: Paracetamol or Vitamin C? Wife: I mean Samsung Tablet baby Husband: Relax!! It's Jesus Birthday not yours! Alakoba 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by QueenSuccubus(f): 8:13am On Dec 08, 2016 |
Jarizod: 1 Like 1 Share
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Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Fisayomie(f): 3:07pm On Dec 08, 2016 |
Cool jokes ryt here.. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 12:44pm On Dec 09, 2016 |
PASTOR: Praise the Lord!!! CHURCH MEMBERS: HALLELUJAH!!! PASTOR: That halleluyah is too small for my God. AKPOS: Who are you? Heaven's sound system engineer? 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 4:45pm On Dec 09, 2016 |
Bro jarizod how far na, longest time 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 4:47pm On Dec 09, 2016 |
1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 6:37pm On Dec 09, 2016 |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:19pm On Dec 09, 2016 |
lhawarl1:Life's good bruh na so we see am oh |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 3:57pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
Akpos who has no wife, no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, infact very very poor. But one day, he saw a magician who promised to grant him only one wish. Magician : tell me one thing u wish and i will do it for u right now Akpos : ok, i have one wish, i want my mother to see my wife carrying two out of my kids in my hummer jeep parked near the swimming pool in one of my many mansions situated at london city. magician . . . Fainted 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Tafari1(m): 2:01am On Dec 13, 2016 |
I thought I would be the only one viewing this thread by this time until I saw you...classc25 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by classc25(f): 2:05am On Dec 13, 2016 |
Tafari1: lol i cant sleep, just laughing quietly 2 Likes |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Tafari1(m): 2:10am On Dec 13, 2016 |
classc25:Same here, sleep eludes me. What's keeping you up? 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Justiceotuya(m): 9:07pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. “You're on my list, but I have no room for you.” “You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.” “I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Donald thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Barack Obama and a large pool of water. Barack kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Donald said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and it would ruin my hair. I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got his problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Donald. The devil opened a third door. Through it, Donald saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Donald looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah. I can handle this. Big league.” The devil smiled and said. “OK, Monica, you're free to go." 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Justiceotuya(m): 9:15pm On Dec 16, 2016 |
The geography of woman Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past. Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge. The geography of man: Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 1:20am On Dec 17, 2016 |
Some girls are funny they will tell a guy that "it's over between us" When the guy says Okay, she will be like "Just like that?" What were you Expecting my sister? A Closing Ceremony! 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:10pm On Dec 19, 2016 |
A Man missed his wife who travelled, so much that he felt the matrimonial bed was too big for just him alone. Then, he decided to sleep on the sofa, dinning chair and sometimes in the library, children's room and the Guest room. When the wife came back, she asked the maid if her husband was sleeping fine while she was away. But the maid answered: Madam, since u left, Oga has not been sleeping in u people's Bedroom, He has been sleeping around ooooooo.The woman screamed & fainted!!! see what grammar can cause... 5 Likes |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 3:13pm On Dec 21, 2016 |
Mary was a virgin and got married to a carpenter, and u are not a virgin and u want to marry a millionaire, my sister, ur deliverance need 60 buckets of olive oil good morning. 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:50pm On Dec 23, 2016 |
[b] I was in church one day when pastor said: "It's time to say hello to your neighbours, shake hands and lets get to know each other." I said hello to the person sitting to my left and to the one sitting to my right.. We introduced our selves and both said they were Egyptians. Preaching time came and pastor decided to preach from Exodus 14:13.. Telling us about how God saved the Israelites from Egyptians. My people, remember that there were Egyptians on my left and right. I was thinking to myself "How do these two Egyptians feel knowing that their people are the bad guys in this Bible verse" Well, I just sit-down my own je-je-je. The next thing oo!!, pastor shouted: "The Egyptians made the people of God to suffer for years!!!, I said they made them suffer!!!, Turn to your left and to your right!!! And tell your neighbour!!!, The Egyptians you see today!!!, You shall see no more!!!" My friend, if you were in my position will you say after the pastor? [/b] 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:21am On Dec 28, 2016 |
Akpos: MTN people are eating our money too much. Girlfriend: Yes the stealing is too much. Akpos: I got an idea, instead of using phone, why don't we use a pigeon in sending messages like the old time, just tie your message to it's leg if you want to reply. Girlfriend: I like what is in your head. After an hour of waiting, Akpos' girlfriend saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it's leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few minutes it comes back, she quickly grabs it but to her disapointment no message again, she sent it back. After some few minutes, she opened the window for the pigeon to come in, she checked it's legs but still no message. With much anger, she headed to Akpos' house and shouted "Akpos come here, you idiot, you said you will send message through this pigeon but why the three times it came to me, no message?. Akpos: You don't get it...It's 3 missed calls not message 9 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 12:36pm On Dec 28, 2016 |
THE HEIGHT OF JEALOUSY You see two goats mating, you pick up a stone and chase them away. Is the Female goat your ex? Are they doing it in your Father's sitting room? 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 8:47pm On Dec 28, 2016 |
Lol 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 11:03pm On Dec 28, 2016 |
Lolzzz...I tire #YOLO |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:57pm On Dec 30, 2016 |
[b]I'm not saying i hate my ex, am just saying that if i find her in hospital on life machine. I would unplug the machine and charge my phone. lol Guys...That girl who refused to show me her breast in school ..she is now feeding her baby in a bus next to me. God Is great.. That Awkward moment......... When u are laffin so hard with ur crush.... Den a HEAVY CATARRH jump out of ur nose... FADALURD TAKE MY SOUL Android fones can be so annoying.how do I explain it? , I just received a notification now that my bible app needs update, pls wat does d bible need update for? Has Adam eaten another apple? IPhone 7s earpiece is N67,000. My question is this...... will I be able to hear angel Micheal testing the trumpet two days before rapture??. U are 33 year old and ur role model is emmanuella; can't u see the devil is using ur life to play naira bet? I am just too bored so I don't want to laugh alone... Passcodes to end the year[/b] 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:37am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Am nt a prophet, neither am i an evangelist but i knw one thing and that thing is sure.. #somebody on this forum is still using 2016 tooth Brush , u knw urself 2 Likes |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 1:10am On Jan 06, 2017 |
I have been laughing since morning when a fine girl stopped me at Obafemi Awolowo Way, Ikeja and told me that she is looking for GOOGLE PLAY STORE. I asked her Google Playstore how? She said her WhatsApp stopped working and her neighbour told her to go to Playstore and download a new one. Anyway as a good Samaritan I told her Playstore is no longer @ Ikeja, but they have relocated to Ajah. I then put her in a bus going to Ajah. Sebi I try 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 1:43am On Jan 06, 2017 |
Jarizod: Hahahahahahahah... I hope she finds it there.. |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:55am On Jan 06, 2017 |
TrapQueen77:same here 1 Like |
Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:22pm On Jan 06, 2017 |
I was just minding my business when I saw this status update on Facebook.. "To hair is to human, to forgive is design" I was like "hair ko, attachment ni" so I became curious and decided to go down to view her timeline.. No be small matter oo... Come see more updates... **"I hate guys with low selves of steam" **"I am a blessing to my generator " **" I'm a soccer to guys with six pack" **" My BB charger is no longer walking " **" Anybody who supports killing is a carnival" **"Love is in the hair.. Valentine tins rolling " **" on my way to school, please play for me" **" Finally I've been admitted in to the univasity of sense and technology.. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
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