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Could My Wife Be Cheating? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Shinor(m): 4:04pm On Feb 14, 2017
Question 1.
Who carries the financial burden at home? from the tone of this conversation is like your wife is shouldering much of the financial responsibility at home and therefore seen that as a licence to grow wings....
Question 2 Which is closely related to number one is Are you satisfying her sexually? While it is not a licence for her to go AWOL, a combination of 1 & 2 can lead to disastrous consequences...
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by mumels(m): 4:04pm On Feb 14, 2017
Boy O Boy sad

Women again. Men have seen enough jaare..

I kuku dey do Val with my ps4 grin

8 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by DonCortino: 4:04pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
Thanks very much, the guy is not a family friend per say, because I do not know him, he is friend/church member with my wife. I only hear of him. Sadly when I asked my wife about the messages, she was very angry, she said she was not in control of wat ever the guy was sending, and moreover, she doesn't care. So the only option I have is to look for the guy and speak with him, but I don't know how this will look.

Guy how old are you??


Why Are you this timid?? angry

Call her, sit her down and tell her u are not comfortable with her relationship with d guy and she should cut it off at once.


You don't have to go n confront d guy. Handle your wife! Be a man!

8 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Omooniya1: 4:05pm On Feb 14, 2017
AngelicBeing:
She is not telling you the whole truth, why cant she tell the guy to stop sending her such messages because it is doing much harm to her matrimony, abegi , except she is lying and enjoying the flirty messages, you and l dont know what they discuss with each other on phone when you are not there, marriage is sacred l think and should be held so, flirting with another man or woman once married breaks the sanctity of the institution, it seems your wife is the husband in your house while you are the wife, l may be wrong, but you have to do all you can to keep your home or else another guy in the name of family friend/ church member might be feasting on your wife cool

and the thing self no get meter!!!

2 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by onome2013: 4:06pm On Feb 14, 2017
If you are using your wife's SIM card, engage more on text messages as if is your wife, this will enable get facts to get their state of relationship.
But it's a pity most married girls of this days don't have value for their matrimonial life again., because of the hight of immoral exposure. In the time of our mothers when your husband friend mistakenly shake your hand , you immediately confess to your husband;but modern jet age married girls don't give a dem now.
Pastors should please not be tired of preaching what to be and not to be to young couples.

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Angrymode: 4:07pm On Feb 14, 2017
Oga that ur wife na big cheat. Its obvious you love her and thats why you are in denial/confused mode.

Take heart in advance of your confirmation cry Women are hardly worth even headache these days.

4 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by AngelicBeing: 4:07pm On Feb 14, 2017
Omooniya1:


and the thing self no get meter!!!
grin grin
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by autonomous22: 4:08pm On Feb 14, 2017
dingbang:
Why not catch her in the act first
Haba..... must him wait to catch her red-handed

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Yankiss(m): 4:10pm On Feb 14, 2017
It is difficult for you to understand this. From the thread, she is actually cheating on you, however you view it. He was asking a married woman if she missed him and her reply was that her husband was there. Getting defensive when asked about it underlined her culpability. It is not proper for any guy to allow friendship of his wife with a guy he has nothing with, Church or no church. If she insists on a guy, u have to know the guy's wife as well. Sort of mutual friend. This is also good for ladies and other women close to their husbands. There is no point calling the guy at all. Cut off your woman from him entirely or in the alternative, stalk until u get something tangible to press a case. If she insists on him and wouldn't listen to you, please pick race. Period.

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by justicee4all: 4:10pm On Feb 14, 2017
sexy74:

You said a good reasonable wife abi, if she is not good and reasonable, what happens?
Na from clap e dey turn to dance.
OP tell her straight to the face that any day you see or she mention that guy she goes back to her parents.
Kosi aye fun Iran.

That's the best option he should stop behaving like a weakly

I was once in his shoes I became though threw her out and let her know I was Uncomfortable with those kind of communication

After months passed she realised her mistakes and the iddiots that were sweet talking her left to the thin air

Shes now very humble and submissive if I had taking things midly she would have capitalise on my weakness and take me for a ride
never be submissive to a woman never!!

11 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by autonomous22: 4:12pm On Feb 14, 2017
In issues like this, 70% of our thought could b wrong , u v to handle dis stuff with maturity , try not to jump into conclusions yet coz u might b wrong ....... investigate proper
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by AngelicBeing: 4:13pm On Feb 14, 2017
veekid:
The guy above has said it all
cool
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 4:15pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
.But she us angry that i asked her abiut it, and she has said i should think watever I like, she doesn't care You see that is why I am thinking of confronting the guy to stay away from her.

Confront who? For what? Is your wife a minor? Is she not responsible enough to know evil from good? If you like warn the man enu or warn the man ani the ball is in your wife's court. What if there are other men that she is frolicking with? So na so you go dey waka around dey warn dem.

For the fact that your wife got angry speaks volumes. Something might be going on. Why ask of missing someone you see every sunday?

You want to warn the guy because you know where to find him. What if you no know?

You want to warn the man because you are scared of your wife.

Your wife is married and should behave as such. Your wife accomodates him and that is why the man is continuing.

8 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by mablie(m): 4:16pm On Feb 14, 2017
hedonistic:


Oh boy I pity you small.

You're not in control, and once a husband loses control, then it is inevitable that the wife IS cheating or SHALL cheat at some point.

The day my woman opens her smelly mouth to form angry and retort that I should do whatever I like when I express my reservations about her conduct, then I would end the marriage. She kuku know say I be drastic man and my brain dey touch.

Men need to wake up. Too much softy softy puts you in a mess Then again, if you began on that note with her from the beginning, then it is difficult to change the dynamic now.

People like us know better. You must use the Abacha or Idi Amin Iron hand - firm and uncompromising - on certain key issues when it comes to naija women, otherwise dem go ride you like fool. Of course you can be soft on many other issues, but for this kind loyalty/fidelity matter, there is no room for negotiation or 'understanding'. She either does things my way, or I conclude that she is cheating or will cheat, and I would treat her accordingly.

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by autonomous22: 4:16pm On Feb 14, 2017
AngelicBeing:





Na wao, super-story on Nairaland all the time, my take is this, l think the woman is cheating already >>> emotionally, do you miss me?.. take me some where?.....husband asked his wife and the wife gets angry and says think whatever you want to think, haba, what evidence does the guy need again, it is possible, the woman is been shagged >>> emotionally by the guy and the ultimate will be to shag her physically if they have not codedly done it already, abeg, next story, na today grin grin


U nailed it......

2 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by mecussey(m): 4:17pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
Thanks very much, the guy is not a family friend per say, because I do not know him, he is friend/church member with my wife. I only hear of him. Sadly when I asked my wife about the messages, she was very angry, she said she was not in control of wat ever the guy was sending, and moreover, she doesn't care. So the only option I have is to look for the guy and speak with him, but I don't know how this will look.

Yea...this is very mature...the guy looks like an ex...just call him ask him if he is cheating with ur wife cause you have some text evidences and urge him to desist. Advise him like a brother and step front.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by AngelicBeing: 4:19pm On Feb 14, 2017
autonomous22:



U nailed it......
wink
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Psoul(m): 4:20pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
Hello all, my phone went bad, I was using my wife's old phone, and i ran in to a message between she and a supposed family friend . my wife asked the guy to take her some where, and the guy replied her like this, are you missing me ? my wife now said,this, my husband is right by side, the conversation went on, and my they were just talking casually, then again my wife now asked him again if he will come and drop her, the guy replied and siad, what about if your husband sees you in my car, my wife replied and said that I already know that the guy has dropped her off twice,

the truth is that I did not per say, it was a day she was going out and i asked her who was going to drop, and she angrily told me i do not know the person, but much later like months later, during our normal discussion, she told me it was that guy . So could she be cheating with the guy, should i call the guy and ask,

Bro, pls never confront the guy whether physically or through phone call. If you do and something goes wrong u will forever have urslf to blame. If u do and did not get any positive result by either of them confessing that u are right, that wil be a big failure. Your wife will always refer to it in other occasions u will confront her on such issue. She will say, "Ehhhh...dat was the way u were accusing me the other time over our family friend and at the end of the day u found out u were making empty accusation", and this will weaken u.

If you are desperate to find out what she is doing, you can do the following. But it is illegal even in law court.

(1) Install Call Recorder in her phone without her knowing. Play her call records whenever u have access to her phone. You can also forward them to your phone and listen to them at ur convenient time.

(2) Install Buddy Tracker in her phone. This will show in ur phone wherever she is at any time, the name of the place, the distance from where u r and it can direct u on how to get to the place. It uses GPS.

After the installation, hide it in her phone so she wont see it. You can also password the App and protect it from bn uninstalled. Wt this u can monitor her movements and calls. (For more details inbox me)

But from ur post, i can see that ur wife is a kinda stubborn type or seems not to "fear" u or very loyal to u.
She behaves this way based on two assumptions
1. She makes more money than you make
2. Two of u makes money but she beliv that u love her more than she loves u. So whatever she does, u must come back to her

4 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Malawian(m): 4:20pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
OK thanks, yes we have been having issues, but she is not open to reconciliation, I beg even if she is wrong or I am wrong. Anytime I dare try to express displeasure on anything she gets very very angry...
kick her out! now!

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by DonCortino: 4:21pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
.But she us angry that i asked her abiut it, and she has said i should think watever I like, she doesn't care You see that is why I am thinking of confronting the guy to stay away from her.

Dont even try it! If I were d guy and u come to confront me concerning ur wife, d thing whey I go tell u go make u think of d day u were born.

He knows that she is married already! Your wife is d problem handle her!

Even if he backs out, ur wife will find another man.
"Handle ur wife"!!!

4 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by lanre80(m): 4:23pm On Feb 14, 2017
In this type situation, many things maybe amiss.
Like someone mentioned earlier, is she the one providing for the family or earn more. Have you ever cheated on her? And some other underlying issues which may be.
All in all, the foundation of the marriage is faulty. While courting you should know your partner and whatever of her sheet you can take. You should have seen this coming. Well my advice is that you manage the situation and watch out. Look inward and solve underlying issues with love. God help you.

For guys not yet married, please and please don't manage what you don't like (those that are gross) in a woman even though no one is perfect thinking your partner will change after marriage. This is because people hardly change. Also, some women are born feminist or confrontational.
I did not marry my ex even though I love her so much primarily because of issues like what poster brought up. I knew she loves me but we could not manage small issues. I'm tough and she's tough. like poles repel. I don't want headaches like what the poster is presenting.

4 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by segzie2012: 4:24pm On Feb 14, 2017
homenje73:
It is A CAPITAL YES . she is cheating on you

you have little experience .... dat is just suspicious signs to alert you " No evidence"

if you react with that, you not are not a real man
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by SPIRIT001: 4:25pm On Feb 14, 2017
It's obvious you don't have control over your home..
Why will your wife tell you to think whatever you like.. sad
That's enough evidence she's cheating...

She could av replied d guy in a beta way...

Who's talking of catching her red-handed? undecided

Follow am do Agidi talk.. I think you're 2 cold.. [i didn't ask you to fight her ooo]....talk gently with her 1st...if she start her kini...u sef turn am to tough matter...and if u can't

Go and Pray bro.. ...I pray God answers b4 things go worse

2 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 4:25pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
OK thanks, yes we have been having issues, but she is not open to reconciliation, I beg even if she is wrong or I am wrong. Anytime I dare try to express displeasure on anything she gets very very angry...

Stop begging like a slave and demand that she end the friendship if you're uncomfortable with it.


Start wearing the pants in your marriage. Women don't respect soft men, Trust me.

For me, once I get a whiff of weakness in a man, I lose interest in him. The Alpha male is the only male.

8 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 4:25pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
OK thanks, yes we have been having issues, but she is not open to reconciliation, I beg even if she is wrong or I am wrong. Anytime I dare try to express displeasure on anything she gets very very angry...



My guy if na like this eehh, your marriage done waka abakateeteee. But no gree am make e loss finish, save am.

I am inclined to believe that she is really cheating on you and is neck deep in it. That may inform her unwillingness to reconcile with you. It might inform her non-challant attitude in her response.

Talk with am, no fear am (her).

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by TheeDetective: 4:25pm On Feb 14, 2017
Spot on cool. In fact he's too soft on the wife and I dey vex for am sef . He needs to give her the final warning to cut all communication with her new man. If she goes against the warning, he should simply tell her to go be with him since she's no longer interested in keeping her marital vows. Women like that needs to be handled with iron hand otherwise dem go just make their husband become mumu for house. I wonder how she will feel if her husband was the one doing this with a lady, I am sure she won't be happy so don't see why she's doing it to her husband.
AngelicBeing:
She is not telling you the whole truth, why cant she tell the guy to stop sending her such messages because it is doing much harm to her matrimony, abegi , except she is lying and enjoying the flirty messages, you and l dont know what they discuss with each other on phone when you are not there, marriage is sacred l think and should be held so, flirting with another man or woman once married breaks the sanctity of the institution, it seems your wife is the husband in your house while you are the wife, l may be wrong, but you have to do all you can to keep your home or else another guy in the name of family friend/ church member might be feasting on your wife cool

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by babyfaceafrica: 4:28pm On Feb 14, 2017
The op sounds like a gentle guy and the wife is using it against you... Do you guys have kids?...if not prepare to send her packing...if yes......two things are involve......it is either you continue to leave with a cheating spouse or you marry anoda wife....lastly don't every confront that man..na your wife give am food chop

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by monalicious(f): 4:31pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
.But she us angry that i asked her abiut it, and she has said i should think watever I like, she doesn't care You see that is why I am thinking of confronting the guy to stay away from her.
Try to still talk to her and she insists on not caring, I think u shld involve her family members. I don't think you should talk to the guy yet
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by sexy74(m): 4:33pm On Feb 14, 2017
justicee4all:


That's the best option he should stop behaving like a weakly

I was once in his shoes I became though threw her out and let her know I was comfortable with those kind of communication

After months passed she realised her mistakes and the iddiots that were sweet talking her left to the thin air

Shes now very humble and submissive if I had taking things midly she would have capitalise on my weakness and take me for a ride
never be submissive to a woman never!!
My brother you just hit the nail gbam and it should enter ones into the OP head.
No time for dulling.

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Berbierklaus(f): 4:35pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
Brilliant, but the thing is this, when I confronted my wife, she said she can not control what the guy was typing, and sending, then I asked her why did she not caution the guy, instead all she said to the guy was that 'my husband is here ' . My brother wen I told her that she got really angry, that I should do wstever I like, after all she was not the one that started it.
Have you cheated on your wife before sir
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Masterclass32: 4:42pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
OK thanks, yes we have been having issues, but she is not open to reconciliation, I beg even if she is wrong or I am wrong. Anytime I dare try to express displeasure on anything she gets very very angry...

Thou shall not be begging like that. At times, its good to stand your ground, especially when she's wrong.

U might actually be pushing her away by your ''over-nice-ness''. Be real. When something doesn't seem right, speak up, and boldly too. Marriage is a union between two people. There will always be misunderstandings. Resolving them with maturity is the issue.

Pretending that everything is okay when it isn't is one of the fastest ways to kill a relationship.

As per your question, something seems fishy. Sit your wife down and discuss issues with her like matured adults. She shouldn't use childish outbursts to avoid serious discussions. It creates distance between couples and eventually severes the love connection. Speaking with the guy in question might not solve much. Your wife might be the one seeking solace in another man's arms. Deal with the issue from your wife's end. If she truly decides to severe contact with the guy, then its truly over.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by fufuNegusi(m): 4:43pm On Feb 14, 2017
brasilia:
Brilliant, but the thing is this, when I confronted my wife, she said she can not control what the guy was typing, and sending, then I asked her why did she not caution the guy, instead all she said to the guy was that 'my husband is here ' . My brother wen I told her that she got really angry, that I should do wstever I like, after all she was not the one that started it.

believe me, when a woman flares up when she is supposed to be giving you a reasonable explanation. just accept that she is guilty as charged

but how has been your relationship with your wife recently?
are you both intimate as required for a couple?
how long have you both been married?
have you in anyway or chance felt any emotional withdrawal from your wife this past months?

i asked you this, because i wont be a husband that is caring and loving and not have noticed all this and more on the spot before it goes far

anyways...

as for the other guy...take your time and do not confront him, he has no biz with you but your wife is
i would have prefered you havent confronted your wife yet so you could undeniably get to the root of this matter

but be it as it may...i will just say talk to her, let her know what you think and that you no longer comfortable with her been friends with the other man
if she truly loves and not cheating, you will listen so as to save the marriage
but if she gets angry and becomes all defensive then you in for some real SHIT bro...

sorry to say, but your wife has been shagged already...

in all of this, if you love her PRAY about it, talk more to her to let go
and hopefully she will

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