Zedoo:


see eh...i know what m saying. Some parents don't do as much for their children. They galivant....how do you know the op was well taken care of as a kid
He knows what he s saying.
You dont judge him with your own perception and experience from your own parents...
How can somebody have three good phones and be looking for iPhone
Doesn't it show you her eye has always been high?
He said she usually moves towards any of her children who is a having a good time financially....is that the sign of a good parent?
Whatever seed she has sown in her children is already sown.
He may not be right for putting her on blast, but I wont be surprised if she has put him on blast too comparing him with his mates when he didn't have it all good n such....
So he is her own karma...
A man reaps what he sows for a reason.....

Parents should be mature and conscious of the kind seeds they sow in their children...

This op is totally frustrated.

Its also a very wicked parent that will think his/her job is to relax and be collecting dividends from any of his/her children who is having a big moment....and neglect others....
Being a parent is no excuse to be a friend for food..

God Bless You for this sensible post unlike most of the retarrded sadists who've been making the already-depressed OP much more confused.

I've personally never needed to seek any opinion on public forums for anything but I get miffed at the ease with which big-mouthed bigots take no pains in quickly making mockery of serious issues with such bile, that, only shows what unbearable levels of putrefaction their own personal souls are going through.

Here, we have an OP who's already contemplated suicide and the id10ts are still ranting without seeking, even some modicum of more information as per the source of his woes. This thread is one of the sad reminders of how it is indeed true that most Nigerians are really suffering one psych-maladies or the other.

@OP Guy, you obviously need to step back, a bit, and look at the big picture here because despite all that your mom is becoming, you're here partly because of her and she won't be alive for ever. SHE NEEDS ALL THE LOVE, ATTENTION, CARE AND PATIENCE YOU CAN SPARE FOR HER NOW, not when she's dead and gone. And, trust me, all things being equal, she will be, before you. So, that puts the burden of maturity on you.

However, you will need to limit your exposure to the nagging and ranting so you don't spark and burn out when you least expect or end up carrying a grudge-chip on your shoulder all day.

Maybe you could feign some new level of busy work itinerary that even wipes the possibility of phone calls, visits and other forms of access for a while.

Absence, might indeed in this case, make the heart grow fonder. Also, you need to grow above her level and make your mind, not to lose your cool, regardless of whatever she does or says. Play along, if you have to, believing that this her present state of mind will blow over But if it doesn't, at least, you've started learning how to handle her.

Try and carry her husband, your dad, along in whatever you're doing for her at this stage so her outbursts, at you, can be mitigated.

op pls try and find time to watch the movie sopranos,just two seasons,i believe u will learn a lot of practical things,if u really searching for solutions... good luck.

Annamma:
Hi fellow humans, my beloved mother is unknowingly forcing me to hate her. She has suddenly become megalomaniac.

She always want to have the final say in every issue not minding the feelings of others. She doesnt waste time to switch her allegiance and love to any of her children that has it big at the very moment..

She is in her 60s but always believe she knows the current things more than us. Immagine the torchlight Nokia phone we bought for her she cant even operate it well, but now telling us that we dont love her because we didnt buy android touchscreen phone for her to be browsing.
What is she going to browse? when she cant even communicate with english fluently.

You will teach her one thing for many months and even spend years doing serial correction for her, yet she wont get it right.

She is also very ungrateful... She lacks nothing as we timely assist her with upkeep allowances. My Dad still provide for all her daily needs too.

Nairalanders i cant even say much, infact i thought of committing suicide yesterday because of her unbearing attitude...

This megalomania is destroying the love i once had for her.
Pls what do i do as i have tried talking to her about this severally, only for the peaceful talks to snowball into a fiercing quarrell ofwhich it echo reaches the next day.

Pls what should i do?

op pls try and find time to watch the movie sopranos,just two seasons,i
believe u will learn a lot of practical things,if u really searching for
solutions... good luck.

chachanga:


God Bless You for this sensible post unlike most of the retarrded sadists who've been making the already-depressed OP much more confused.

I've personally never needed to seek any opinion on public forums for anything but I get miffed at the ease with which big-mouthed bigots take no pains in quickly making mockery of serious issues with such bile, that, only shows what unbearable levels of putrefaction their own personal souls are going through.

Here, we have an OP who's already contemplated suicide and the id10ts are still ranting without seeking, even some modicum of more information as per the source of his woes. This thread is one of the sad reminders of how it is indeed true that most Nigerians are really suffering one psych-maladies or the other.

@OP Guy, you obviously need to step back, a bit, and look at the big picture here because despite all that your mom is becoming, you're here partly because of her and she won't be alive for ever. SHE NEEDS ALL THE LOVE, ATTENTION, CARE AND PATIENCE YOU CAN SPARE FOR HER NOW, not when she's dead and gone. And, trust me, all things being equal, she will be, before you. So, that puts the burden of maturity on you.

However, you will need to limit your exposure to the nagging and ranting so you don't spark and burn out when you least expect or end up carrying a grudge-chip on your shoulder all day.

Maybe you could feign some new level of busy work itinerary that even wipes the possibility of phone calls, visits and other forms of access for a while.

Absence, might indeed in this case, make the heart grow fonder. Also, you need to grow above her level and make your mind, not to lose your cool, regardless of whatever she does or says. Play along, if you have to, believing that this her present state of mind will blow over But if it doesn't, at least, you've started learning how to handle her.

Try and carry her husband, your dad, along in whatever you're doing for her at this stage so her outbursts, at you, can be mitigated.

Nice one... you couldn't hv said it any better. I hope the OP does the right thing

EmmySparky:
i see...u also drag ur parents to public forums and publicly bombard them with all sorts of insultive words right?...continue...karma is definitely going to catch up with y'all ungrateful kids...u would one day have ur own kids...and hopefully they won't just say these things behind ur back but directly to ur face....mark my words...and for ur information...the places i have travelled to in my life time , i doubt if u would ever get there...

It is not about dragging one's parent in the mud. This forum is about sharing experiences and learning by sifting through responses. Sometimes you think you are alone in a situation. Reading experiences like these make u realize you are not alone. Through him, I have come to learn the English word for that kind of character.

I understand the op. It is not just about phone but the attitude behind it. Its like they enjoy frustrating others, even their children.

My mom and mother-in-law is like that. No matter what you do, it is never enough. Even my in-law's children went far from her due to this. My spouse and I were the only ones who stayed with her.
Let me give some examples,
She was angry that the other kids could not bear children. I have three and we lived in her house to care for her. Each time we buy things for her, like an SUV, TV etc. She shows no sign of appreciation. If she keeps quiet it is better. The next thing she says is that you just paid your house rent.
Whenever my husby is coming back from work, she stands at the gate collects everything from his pockets, the car etc. She stands in the street to cry we do nothing for her. People calls us on the phone or stop us on the way and accuse us of not taking care of her. We were with her for five years with no good investment or sign of progress because we wanted to be good children.
We left when we discovered she was trying to take our kids from us. She complained about the way we raise our kids. We hid from her for 8 months. She promised not to frustrate us and live our lives. These are few of what I can mention.
Op, the only thing I can tell you is, she is your mother. You should try not to hate her. Since you don't live with her, it is a plus for you. Whenever you see her, show love, say sweet things to her. Buy gifts for her or give her money. Dont think about it if she appreciate it or not. Don't stay too long. Don't go frequently. Always tell her how busy you are. Respond to her calls always. Anything she says, dont argue. Your response should be I will look into it or I have heard. Be patient with her. You too should work on yourself to develop a stronger personality to cope with her.
God will help you to show love, respect and care to her. Pray for self control and endurance. If you don't have the experience, you can never relate.

fpeter:



You know in Nigeria we don't take mental health seriously. Have you considered inviting a Psychologist or Counselor to see her?
Moreover, you need to move out of the family home and give her some space. She may get better when she begins to miss you.

You just got it. She might get better when she misses you.

Annamma:
Hi fellow humans, my beloved mother is unknowingly forcing me to hate her. She has suddenly become megalomaniac.

She always want to have the final say in every issue not minding the feelings of others. She doesnt waste time to switch her allegiance and love to any of her children that has it big at the very moment..

She is in her 60s but always believe she knows the current things more than us. Immagine the torchlight Nokia phone we bought for her she cant even operate it well, but now telling us that we dont love her because we didnt buy android touchscreen phone for her to be browsing.
What is she going to browse? when she cant even communicate with english fluently.

You will teach her one thing for many months and even spend years doing serial correction for her, yet she wont get it right.

She is also very ungrateful... She lacks nothing as we timely assist her with upkeep allowances. My Dad still provide for all her daily needs too.

Nairalanders i cant even say much,[b] infact i thought of committing suicide yesterday [/b]because of her unbearing attitude...

This megalomania is destroying the love i once had for her.
Pls what do i do as i have tried talking to her about this severally, only for the peaceful talks to snowball into a fiercing quarrell ofwhich it echo reaches the next day.

Pls what should i do?

You should have commited suicide naa then you won't be bothered again by her megalo...wetin you call am sef.

You carry your mama matter come Nairaland, it's a pity. Na dis kain pikin parents dey disown. God have mercy on you.

just know that you are not the only one facing this kind of situation, it's not her doing and she probably can't help it, it is a stage in women's life(a large percentage) around 50s and thereabout, that's when you feel that your mum is behaving differently, just show her love not withstanding she will get over it. it is a kind of hormonal thing, women go through a lot of pain like child bearing, family pressure, cheating husbands, taking care of children and what have you, all these are causes of such. it happens to others too but may vary from one person to another, just bear with her.

DIKEnaWAR:
You want nairalanders to teach you how to love your mum? You well so?

dude do you knw the meaning of megalomania?

Firstly you're not suppose to bring your immediate family issue here.
If I may ask, how old are you?

What position are you in the family?

The reason I asked the above question is that,I never expected a matured fellow man to be washing his dirts in public.

Again, this is your mom/mother/ who carried you for a complete 9mnth inside her belly without any form of assistance from alábárù.

Anyways, don't let me say much but try & think over & over what I have said...

You must buy her what she aspires,let her do whatever she likes with it, so that her heart can bless you.

Ìyá eni
N'ìyá eni
Ìyá n'ìyá , n'ìyá mi(My mother)

BlongTrendies:


It is not about dragging one's parent in the mud. This forum is about sharing experiences and learning by sifting through responses. Sometimes you think you are alone in a situation. Reading experiences like these make u realize you are not alone. Through him, I have come to learn the English word for that kind of character.

I understand the op. It is not just about phone but the attitude behind it. Its like they enjoy frustrating others, even their children.

My mom and mother-in-law is like that. No matter what you do, it is never enough. Even my in-law's children went far from her due to this. My spouse and I were the only ones who stayed with her.
Let me give some examples,
She was angry that the other kids could not bear children. I have three and we lived in her house to care for her. Each time we buy things for her, like an SUV, TV etc. She shows no sign of appreciation. If she keeps quiet it is better. The next thing she says is that you just paid your house rent.
Whenever my husby is coming back from work, she stands at the gate collects everything from his pockets, the car etc. She stands in the street to cry we do nothing for her. People calls us on the phone or stop us on the way and accuse us of not taking care of her. We were with her for five years with no good investment or sign of progress because we wanted to be good children.
We left when we discovered she was trying to take our kids from us. She complained about the way we raise our kids. We hid from her for 8 months. She promised not to frustrate us and live our lives. These are few of what I can mention.
Op, the only thing I can tell you is, she is your mother. You should try not to hate her. Since you don't live with her, it is a plus for you. Whenever you see her, show love, say sweet things to her. Buy gifts for her or give her money. Dont think about it if she appreciate it or not. Don't stay too long. Don't go frequently. Always tell her how busy you are. Respond to her calls always. Anything she says, dont argue. Your response should be I will look into it or I have heard. Be patient with her. You too should work on yourself to develop a stronger personality to cope with her.
God will help you to show love, respect and care to her. Pray for self control and endurance. If you don't have the experience, you can never relate.

bro the way u shared ur experience is quite mature and decent...i am not against the op sharing his experience and letting out a little gas...nope ...instead i am against his disrespectful choice of words...he just sounded so crude and rude...u just pointed out some instances without an atom of disrespect...he should also do the same...cos this is his mum for crying out loud...this is a very sensitive and complex issue...even myself i sometimes have issues with my parents...but that doesn't mean that i should channel the whole anger and write an article using vulgar words...thats my bone of contention bro

Annamma:
Buying phone for her is not the problem.. we r many and can afford anything for her... Her level of education wont permit her to use such.

Buy unto Ceaser what belongs to Ceaser



You hia ba?

Annamma:
Hi fellow humans, my beloved mother is unknowingly forcing me to hate her. She has suddenly become megalomaniac.

She always want to have the final say in every issue not minding the feelings of others. She doesnt waste time to switch her allegiance and love to any of her children that has it big at the very moment..

She is in her 60s but always believe she knows the current things more than us. Immagine the torchlight Nokia phone we bought for her she cant even operate it well, but now telling us that we dont love her because we didnt buy android touchscreen phone for her to be browsing.
What is she going to browse? when she cant even communicate with english fluently.

You will teach her one thing for many months and even spend years doing serial correction for her, yet she wont get it right.

She is also very ungrateful... She lacks nothing as we timely assist her with upkeep allowances. My Dad still provide for all her daily needs too.

Nairalanders i cant even say much, infact i thought of committing suicide yesterday because of her unbearing attitude...

This megalomania is destroying the love i once had for her.
Pls what do i do as i have tried talking to her about this severally, only for the peaceful talks to snowball into a fiercing quarrell ofwhich it echo reaches the next day.

Pls what should i do?

She needs medical care and attention. Maybe it's post menopausal syndrome. And u Dnt even have a slightest patient for her, not everyone augur well with old-age. U might behave worse during yours. Take your time and explain, care for her, and whats bad in buying. Browsing phone and teach her d basics, I did so to my mum , she's on fb and whatsapp and she's happily meeting her long timed friends who are aging graciously too, and the center of worry v shifted.and Dnt forget the fact that even if m not around she calls to make me explain how to work her phone, so what I did, I bought d same exact type of her phone just to b able to teach her. It's fun. Remember they where there when we where little even to our growing up.

Annamma:
Hi fellow humans, my beloved mother is unknowingly forcing me to hate her. She has suddenly become megalomaniac.

She always want to have the final say in every issue not minding the feelings of others. She doesnt waste time to switch her allegiance and love to any of her children that has it big at the very moment..

She is in her 60s but always believe she knows the current things more than us. Immagine the torchlight Nokia phone we bought for her she cant even operate it well, but now telling us that we dont love her because we didnt buy android touchscreen phone for her to be browsing.
What is she going to browse? when she cant even communicate with english fluently.

You will teach her one thing for many months and even spend years doing serial correction for her, yet she wont get it right.

She is also very ungrateful... She lacks nothing as we timely assist her with upkeep allowances. My Dad still provide for all her daily needs too.

Nairalanders i cant even say much, infact i thought of committing suicide yesterday because of her unbearing attitude...

This megalomania is destroying the love i once had for her.
Pls what do i do as i have tried talking to her about this severally, only for the peaceful talks to snowball into a fiercing quarrell ofwhich it echo reaches the next day.

Pls what should i do?

By the way, what are you still doing with ur mum if she's at that age....you should be on ur own by now

chynie:
Dont buy it for her straight

send the money into her account and tell her to withdraw it and buy whatever she needs

she will be shocked at the cost and the value of money

so she will end up not buying it

Nice one!

Take it cool and calm