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The Bitter Truth For Guys Trying To Maintain Distant Relationships / The Usage Of Juju By Ladies To Control A Man/win His Love... / How To Start And Maintain An Online Conversation With A Stranger (1) (2) (3) (4)
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 9:28am On Sep 11, 2010|
Sup tai2. I agree with every thing you said but the bolded part. It is said that the person who wants to commit suicide has the initiative. If you want to entrap lions, you wouldn't use ice cream, yam or even caviar. You would use EXACTLY what appeals to lions; raw flesh (basic Sales and Marketing). The lions make the rules.
For me, your post helps to stratify [/b]these biatches so that one can effectively 'disarm' them (deceive them actually) by showing each group the face that they are most susceptible to.
For plenty contemporary naija babes, just generally [b]act as if you just broke the bank. A few strategic 'displays' of being a 'big boy' (pardon the cliché) almost always gets you some coochie - quickly. Yes, it would be foolish to continue in the wasteful 'artificial control' mode - even if you do have the money. This is where you need to have something else going for you, "your ability to give it to her in bed" according to you, tai2. Women love s-e-x, good s-e-x, and there is a limited number of guys who can give it to them well.
We are all inherently selfish, and for the most part are only interested in things that benefit us - directly. Everyone craves the repeat of a good experience. And a babe can even pay you to have her buttons pushed - if you know how to do it well. This is where you transition from 'artificial control' to 'koko master control'.
Then there are also girls who care nada about your dough. There are those who want intellectual stimulation. Maybe she gets Hot just by talking about 'the government subsidy of bean production in Bolivia'. You don't really have to know much about it, but at least you listen INTELLIGENTLY. And the objective is not to appear as as another professor of Economics, it just serves to get your foot in the door. All girls love a bad-boy, and by bad-boy I don't mean a reckless, irresponsible loser or an omo alaye or someone that smokes igbo. Just be playfully naughty.
Generally, if the object of your affections is artificially control[b]led[/b], at least initially appeal to her vanity. If she craves witty conversations, appeal to her intellect and if she just wants the 'social security' that comes from having a 'boyfriend'. . .well, your work is already cut out for you. At least everyone knows that being a boyfriend has it's fringe benefits .
Finally, I close with a beautiful and very practical quote from Robert Greene's '48 Laws of Power'. It goes thus: "When you meet a swordsman, draw your sword. Do not recite poetry to one who is not a poet". In clearer terms "Different strokes for different folks".
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 9:40am On Sep 11, 2010|
Essentially, I concur with pro01.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 10:17am On Sep 11, 2010|
Bruv, you are MAAAAAAAD!!! Can't believe this. I really can't differentiate your writing style (and the spirit behind it) and that of the venerable Robert Greene. I read this post again and again and again, and came to the conclusion that you must have read RG so much that a rare and spectacular transmogrification must have taken place: only that can explain the no-nonsense prose, lethal elegance, god-like insight, serpentine persuasiveness, magisterial authority, "superhuman aplomb", and murderous finality with which you delivered this masterful post. I'm actually in hero-worshipping mode right now. . .and struggling to differentiate Richfella & Robert Greene!!!
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by wavemasta(m): 11:02am On Sep 11, 2010|
@Richfella: Correct man, cudnt have put it better myself. Its like the principle of Aikido. Be the water, not the rock. Water flows around its obstacles to reach its goal, and can also wear away the rock with persistence.
The key is adaptability. Water can adapt to any shape or form. So you need to just adapt to the chick you are with, and by so doing, flow past her blocks, and achieve your aims.
Nice post, nice thread!
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by lajjy(m): 2:03pm On Sep 11, 2010|
guy, ur post make sense too much, this post is going into my archive.
I feel u men.
keep it up
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by jarkbauer: 2:54pm On Sep 11, 2010|
now i know why she's in control.she doesn't fear talkless of respecting me.i read it everymorning
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 10:45am On Sep 12, 2010|
Pro01, na wa o. All that grammer for only me ? I strongly rebuke your obvious efforts to scare me away from NairaLand . I will report you to uncle Seun. Lol, thanks for the compliments.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by weedinLA: 11:57pm On Sep 12, 2010|
Just shut up dear. Your analogies and claims are all contradictory. When did you become a relationship expert?
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by tai2(m): 2:49am On Sep 13, 2010|
Pro01 and Richfella
I understand what both of you are saying, which is essence that through artificial control you can gain temporary true control which you can later make permanent. But understand this, this approach can be used for one particular woman or will require you to adapt to the whims and caprices of various women in order to gain what you want. Format A for Jennifer, Format B for Aisha and you have to go through so many phases, it is almost like you are planning a conquest.
Why I advocate permanent true control above all, is that a man of true control, controls himself first then other women second and with true control, you don't have to be bothered about adopting one style or the other to fit a particular woman, you become the embodiment of control that all or most women find attractive. There will be no need trying to change this or that about you because women are not necessarily your priority, you become your priority first and women second, which is why you don't accede the their demands the way a no control man does.
Adopting artificial control strategies each time so you can get temporary or in future permanent true control over one woman, works no doubt, but are you trying this for a one time fling to get one women or a couple of women or do you want the true control thing to be a permanent thing in your life, something that becomes part and parcel of you? Something that your attitude needs neither crafting or excessive modification per conquest but commands the attention of the right women? That is permanent true control.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by tai2(m): 3:15am On Sep 13, 2010|
Like you rightly said as well, Lions make the rules, the rules aren't made for them because they see their prey for what it is, inferior. They control with superiority and strike fear with their presence. Goats don't hang around when lions make their presence known. A lion doesn't hide under the cloak of sheep. Others may pretend to be lions, a lion pretends to be nothing else.
Women know when a man of true control is around and some will even go as far as offering themselves without prompting or without too much talk.
The goal is to be a lion, not a cub playing lion. Lions will only retreat when they encounter a superior obstacle such as an elephant herd.
Why approach these women the way a lion would treat a superior? The way a guerilla outfit would attack a superior army? For sport, it may be fun to strategize and conquer, but the problem is that one finds himself all too often, excited by this activity, until chasing and plotting for women becomes a permanent addiction and you have no time to plan or plot for your financial future.
Wavemasta noted that water was formless, yet he still noted that water crushes what is beneath its power and moves across what it cannot overcome or chips away with persistence.
The goal with women is not to make them an obstacle you waste valuable manpower and time trying to overcome for even strength has its limits, the goal is to confirm yourself as a lion of sorts, an emotional superior, ready to control the situation and make the rules of the relationship.
Never make a woman a long term obstacle you try to overcome, lest you find yourself losing control without knowing it. A man of true control should be focused on achieving success and realizing that while women are a part of life, you should not as a rule make them the cornerstone of all you do.
Artificial control is always easier than true control and the idea is to strive towards maintaining true control in our lives so we can deal easily with everything else we encounter, women inclusive.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 3:31am On Sep 13, 2010|
Very good thread, i cant believe its still going on strong after 22 pages. Perhaps because most of those posting here are actually mature!
Richfella makes some very good points.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by tai2(m): 3:51am On Sep 13, 2010|
Davidylan, I concur with you, he makes some very valid points that count as true and perhaps even an entire section on mastery of the topic of " from artificial control to true control". Same thing with pro01 who has a number of insightful observations on the matter.
Its important to get the entire perspectives about the whole topic,my point is that all this is a stepping stone towards the final goal, one route out of many which should nevertheless be treaded with care.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 4:09am On Sep 13, 2010|
tai2, i think i am not in agreement with pro01 as regards artificial control. I think that only works with women who either have an inferiority complex already or have very little principles. It clearly will not work with a woman who knows what she wants in a man.
One thing i have learnt over the yrs is that true control is very easy to attain . . . all it takes is:
1. Know the type of woman you are with, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to maintaining a healthy relationship with every woman.
2. NEVER EVER EVER love a woman more than she loves you. Bad error! When you do more of the keeping in touch, trying too hard to make her happy, too quick to use the word "love" even when she is hesitant to say it to you, too involved in getting her gifts, quick to acquiesce to her demands, always appologising for yours and her faults, never willing to put your foot down when she steps out of line (no need to be violent) . . . then you're setting urself up for a fall.
3. Let her know she's not your only option (dont be direspectful here) and that life will definitely go on without her . . . it keeps her on her toes.
4. Most importantly, men need to learn that who you are is also very important to whether a woman will respect you or not.
5. One thing my gf always tells me is this - it is very easy to be submissive to you . . . the secret is to be firm without being overbearing (let her know that when you say no it is for a good reason and you wont change your decision no matter how much she begs), know when to show your romantic side and when to put up the serious "i could care less about you now" mask . . . and be miserly with your temper . . . losing it for every flimsy excuse is NOT a way of controlling your woman . . . at some point she will simply learn to ignore it and come to resent u. Let it be that when you do get angry, she wont be able to function until she knows that you've calmed down.
Crux of the issue . . . treat a woman like a queen (without being a wuss about it) and she will automatically respect you and treat you like her king.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 4:30am On Sep 13, 2010|
@davidylan, and that's the gospel truth.
You can't ever afford to go soft on her in these regards.
Otherwise that familiar latent foolishness in their heads rises up so fast and before you know it, she's dissing you and screwing around.
Another thing I'm gonna say is: The most unfortunate thing a man can do is take love advice from a woman specifically on how to treat [b]his [/b]woman.
You just know some sh1t bound to come out her mouth that's contrary to the cold hard facts of life; phrases like "always be nice to her" <gag>.
Women KNOW the attitudes that harbor loyalty within them to their man; they just don't want to hear themselves say it. Sometimes out of sheer pride, but also sometimes out of the inner-thinking "am I really this screwed up?".
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 8:19am On Sep 13, 2010|
Excellent points for the most part David especially the bolded, very silky. Just that you make it sound too straightforward at times (like tai2). You seem to disagree with me essentially on the MEANS. . .perhaps you assume that the 'true control' means is always effective regardless of the grand objective. This is where I disagree very slightly with you and tai2 and concur entirely with Richfella. In fact contrary to your assertion, I think some of the 'mind games' elements inherent in the true control mode would even work best for insecure women with some sort of inferiority complex. Artificial control works for ALL women even if temporarily. A woman with a top job would still succumb (secretly maybe) to her boss's advances in her own best interest to save her job, wouldn't she? A pretty angel with financial woes would, in spite of her default virtues, find it easier to 'give some' to a 'big boy' whose random hand-outs go a long way for her, wouldn't she? And again, what woman wouldn't surrender her kitten at gun point (excuse the rather callous example, but it is still a facet of artificial control)? Be you Beyoncé, faced with (e.g) the self-interest element of artificial control, you would surrender your kitten. In all situations, artificial control (especially the ruthless and strategic variety) exploits the self-interest of the potential victim - and therein lies its 100% effectiveness.
The key question is: what are your grand objectives? Is it marriage, long-term romance, or just classical Casanova-like "chop, clean mouth, and move on to the next meal"? If the last option is the objective, then I insist that the kind of artificial control Richfella and I talked about is most effective to deliver the needed instant results - wanting a woman for keeps is a different objective and as such would require a different approach, which is where the true control might be necessary. I might merely be interested in seeing what a random Folashade's humongous backside looks like in 'living color', and experiencing the indescribable ecstasy that comes with feeling that mass of fluffy derriere bouncing all over me. This being the sole objective, the only thing that would concern me is to determine how best and how quickly I can conquer her (expected) resistance and get her undressed in the cozy isolation of my bedroom. As a strategic operator, I have to determine what appeals to her most. This is where Robert Greene's magisterial injunction (as wickedly cited by Richfella) comes into force: When you meet a swordsman draw your sword; do not recite poetry to one who is not a poet. We need no Seer to tell us what we already know too well and see in the field daily: most naija women are inherently materialistic and readily jettison their 'virtuous lady' mask when they think a 'big(ger) boy' is involved. Even millionaire female go-getters 'give it' (in utmost secrecy) to bigger fishes in order to advance further in career or business. Make no mistakes about this.
On just has to be strategic about it, keeping your eyes on the ball. The beautiful thing about ruthless and strategic artificial control is that you retain the initiative and achieve rapid results - her hapless boyfriend is there, still being denied s. ex after 4 years of dating (cos she dey form virgin for the mumu) and you are here pummeling her mercilessly on the 1st night, no time for long thing. But as with everything else, there is an art to artificial control, and it doesn't necessarily mean simply throwing money (that you may even have in short supply) at issues.
But for real your points and those of tai2 are excellent in maintaining a woman, the operative word being maintaining. . .in other words some form of long term thing. Not every one is so interested in maintaining one woman with all her troubles anyway. In any case no matter how much "true control" one may think he has, that never guarantees a girl's fidelity or loyalty. The scales may fall off her eyes at any point in time; in fact, lose your job or experience declining fortunes in your business and see whether the ruthless 'artificial control' money-bag wouldn't effortlessly prize away the woman in your life. That is why it is rather delusional for one to de-emphasize the role of 'financial health' in matters that concern dealing with women. I have seen too many things in real life (in Nigeria at least) and have come to the conclusion that it is the single most important factor (even more than koboko control) if one had to choose just ONE factor. . .
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by kulutempa: 9:28am On Sep 13, 2010|
@pro01, Intelligence is a day, wisdom is eternity. In my opinion this is also the key difference between artificial control and true control. What happens to your artificial (cash) control, when you are broke and singing the blues every morning? What tai2 is saying is that it is better to have something permanent that will serve you at all times and in all seasons than something that lasts for a day or at most a month. If what you are saying about artificial control is true how come Nigerian women married to so called big men still have affairs with other men of lesser means including their husband's drivers? You know why, its because they are bored and want some real action which they are not getting from Mr Moneybags. The bottom line (pun intended) is that with artificial control you can enjoy a woman's body, but you will never get her respect, her heart and her soul because she would consider your relationship with her as nothing but a transanction with no feelings involved: you picked her up in your hummer to your apartment at Ikoyi, and in return she gave you her body. Deal closed. If a better deal comes along, she drops you like hot potato. Pro01, once you start with artificial control you can't stop simply because it is what gets you the results that you want, and as they say, a habit once formed, becomes habitual. What tai2 has said in this post applies to all temporal things in life, women, money, jobs, fame, possessions, houses etc. If you let them have control over you, or you fear losing them, you are dead. Eyes are for seeing, ears are for listening. Peace.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by ufos77: 9:59am On Sep 13, 2010|
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by harakiri(m): 11:40am On Sep 13, 2010|
In spite of all that has been said on this thread, only a handful of women have had the courage to drop a comment or two which proves that ALL of what has been said here is true! It's funny how women always talk about wanting men to be "nice" to them, hold their hands and be sensitive to their emotions and any unfortunate man who conforms to this demand will be labelled by them as a sissy, not being man enough and too sensitive.Like i learnt a while back, what every woman really needs is a sensitive bastard! ! !
More grease to your elbows man.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by harakiri(m): 11:41am On Sep 13, 2010|
I meant to say SENSITIVE b.A.S.t.a.r.d.dd
***This nairaland and their word filter sef***
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by tai2(m): 10:44pm On Sep 13, 2010|
Nuff said, doubters of the principles of control, take note!!
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 11:44pm On Sep 13, 2010|
You encapsulated my point excellently well. Artificial control does work like pro01 says but for how long? Real control is when the woman is spending to KEEP you and not the other way round!
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by asha80(m): 1:06am On Sep 14, 2010|
only if i knew all these points when i was still in uni
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 1:13am On Sep 14, 2010|
ya man. Every dude should have all this on-point before entering uni otherwise he's in for one frustrating set of years.
Dem go use you take clean yansh tire.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by tunde1200(m): 1:20am On Sep 14, 2010|
this is fantastic bro.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by ShyOne(f): 2:40am On Sep 14, 2010|
I just want to love and to be loved. Wow, what a post - how do you remember to keep up with these rules? Control - level one; Control - level 554; Real control, fake control, superficial control. hahahahahahahahahah. I am sooo sorry. Again, I just want to love and be loved. Simple.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 3:13am On Sep 14, 2010|
Things tend to look intimidating when collated into "rules". Really these are just things an experienced man picks up himself while growing up in this world he shares with women. He quickly knows, due to countless negative re-enforcement, that the less emotional effort he puts into relationships, the more successful it gets. Why? you think men just love to be bast@rds? No.
It is what the game demands, and the game was really authored by women, not men.
Any correct man with a sharp chick wants to shower his girl with tonzo-like affection, but he knows the moment he does that, this b1tch will take him for granted because in her mind, he worships the ground she walks on. That quickly leads to a lack of respect, which quickly leads to other foolish moves on her part in the not so distant future.
It really is a science, whether you admit it or not.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by ShyOne(f): 3:23am On Sep 14, 2010|
I understand your thought process - I understand what and why because of "games" played. I don't play games and my heart bleeds when I read and hear the "horror" stories.
I actively choose to "not participate." I also get tired of listening to it - I have female friends who go on and on and on about this, why my mind is simply saying quietly to myself. Better you than me. I don't play - I don't choose to play. I don't have to play.
I read these posts and I had forgotten that people even think like this or that people engage in this, it has been such a long time ago for me. It was funny, quite funny.
I shouldn't laugh - my apologies. I realize that many people take this serious and really "live by these rules." I love to laugh, laughter gives such joy, joy is the essence of beauty and love.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 3:41am On Sep 14, 2010|
It comes with experience. There is no rule book, just general tidbits every man shld know before committing to a woman. You claim all you want is love and be loved . . . well that is being simplistic. Compatibility, mutual respect, compromise e.t.c. are just a few things a relationship has to contend with outside of love.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 3:44am On Sep 14, 2010|
You've said it all, my brother. That's the i.d.i.o.t-proof simplification of the entire matter.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 3:45am On Sep 14, 2010|
Tell your fellow women. They started it, and I don't think they'll be ending it anytime soon. It's a world they created for themselves.
I mean I look back at the days when I was still a pikin and my mom used to advice me to buy flowers for the girl I liked and help her carry her books and all that jazz. LOL no offense mom, but you were sooo wrong about that one.
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by ShyOne(f): 3:56am On Sep 14, 2010|
You are too funny. I don't have "fellow women" - I am a "loner".
|Re: How To Maintain And Control A Woman by Nobody: 4:04am On Sep 14, 2010|
and i bet she was more interested in the dudes who would order her to open car doors for them right?
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