@ Poster

This is a classic piece; a masterpiece infact. One of the best i've ever read on NL or any other site on the internet for that matter. Moreso because it is original; not those copy and paste nonsense we often see here. You deserve a Nobel Prize for this. I agree with your amoral views 99.99%.

Real women dont need men like u lol ^

^^
And just who is a real woman? Define her. Should be fun to know. Lol.

One that hold her own

Doesnt care if what you are, but who you are

Respects herself and can carry intelligent conversation


Want more?

abeg leave these control freaks alone jare,
u neva respond to my comment on the valentino thread oooo ehen

ok ok

the article was kool until it came to the part abt love and faithfulness

thats where i stopped

B           S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

platinumnk:

One that hold her own

Doesnt care if what you are, but who you are

Respects herself and can carry intelligent conversation


Want more?

Mba. Those attributes are too impractical to make a 'real' woman. Eeya, and i was hoping to jettison my 'anti-love' policy and fall for you oh, if only your definition met my expectation.

pro01:

Mba. Those attributes are too impractical to make a 'real' woman. Eeya, and i was hoping to jettison my 'anti-love' policy and fall for you oh, if only your definition met my expectation.

LOL why are they impractical? you wanted me to say someone who cooks and cleans?
so whats your defintion?

^^
Wel its ok to not cook and clean that well; thats 'overlookable'. But, hmm, how about being trustworthy and emm, being incapable of deception of any kind? An open book, for me, is as real as it gets. Unfortunately you seem like a 'köni' expert. If only,

pro01:

^^
Wel its ok to not cook and clean that well; thats 'overlookable. But, hmm, how about being trustworthy and emm, Being incapable of deception of any kind? An open book, for me, is as real as it gets. Unfortunately you seem like a 'köni' expert. If only,

Im taking koni means to decieve people. . . why should one do that?
That goes hand in hand with respect.

@POSTAL
THE TRUTH REMAINS THAT THE WAY YOU CARRY YOURSELF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WILL BE ADDRESSED. I GET YOUR POINT AND THE SUMMARY OF THIS POST IS THAT ALL GUYS SHOULD LEARN HOW TO COMPOSE THEMSELVES PROPERLY
AND TO DO THINGS THAT WILL MAKE THEM GET RESPECT FROM GIRLS AND WOMEN. NOT LOVING TO EXTENT THAT YOUR WOMAN CAN PUT HER LEGS ON YOU HEAD. WISDOM AS IS SAID IS PROFITABLE TO DIRECT. GUYS USE YOUR HEAD EVEN WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE NOT YOU HEART. THE HEAD FOR THE MAN WHILE THE HEART FOR THE WOMAN THAT'S HOW GOD MADE IT TO BE. OR BETTER STILL USE 60% OF YOU HEAD AND 40% OF YOUR HEART I THINK THAT'S BETTER. RULE YOUR WORLD.

@poster

Gospel Truth! It feels like you're giving away my secret.

Although from my experience, you really only need to exercise this if you have a rather high taste in women, those are the ones that typically need "controlling". The lower class ladies are not even a challenge. This would be overkill for them.

Men are so wonderful, I love to be controlled. How I love to feel myself cowering in the corner when my lord and master speaks

The OPs post was rather long but he hit a home-run on his points. A man needs to be in charge of his woman . . . forget this nonsensical idea of 50-50. Women dont want a man they can walk all over . . .

if i can sum up this thread in 1 sentence it will be - get a spine dudes . . . your woman shld be afraid of you in a healthy way.

davidylan:

The OPs post was rather long but he hit a home-run on his points. A man needs to be in charge of his woman . . . forget this nonsensical idea of 50-50. Women dont want a man they can walk all over . . .

if i can sum up this thread in 1 sentence it will be - get a spine dudes . . . your woman shld be afraid of you in a healthy way.

How can you be afraid of someone in a healthy way? To be afraid means to have fear. No? I do not want someone am dating or my partner to be afraid or fearful of me, I do not see how that is healthy. We are meant to be equals you know.

The OP's point at best is sexist and underlines the typical egomaniac crap that is killing most relationship. Especially in Nigeria IMO.

.

ElRazur:

How can you be afraid of someone in a healthy way? Been afraid comes with fear. No? I do not want someone am dating to be afraid or fearful of me, I do not see how that is healthy. We are meant to be equals you know.

Very possible. I would use this analogy . . . as close as you are to your mum, there is a level of respect you have for her that keeps you from insulting her. It doesnt mean you quake in your boots and hide under the bed on hearing her voice.

As much as "we" are meant to be equals . . . no two captains can steady a ship. Someone has to be in command and the vice must have a level of respect for the captain for things to run smoothly.

ElRazur:

How can you be afraid of someone in a healthy way? To be afraid means to have fear. No? I do not want someone am dating or my partner to be afraid or fearful of me, I do not see how that is healthy. We are meant to be equals you know.

The OP's point at best is sexist and underlines the typical egomaniac crap that is killing most relationship. Especially in Nigeria IMO.

finally a man with sense arrives. . . .

ive been monitoring this post and thinbking to myself

'theres no hope for nigerian men!'

.

davidylan:

Very possible. I would use this analogy . . . as close as you are to your mum, there is a level of respect you have for her that keeps you from insulting her. It doesnt mean you quake in your boots and hide under the bed on hearing her voice.

As much as "we" are meant to be equals . . . no two captains can steady a ship. Someone has to be in command and the vice must have a level of respect for the captain for things to run smoothly.

I suspect you will come up with that. I do not sleep with my mum you see. So, in this case it may not be applicable.

From your posts, I guess it is safe to assume you are a Christian and possibly a devoted one? If so, yeah I see where you are coming from. Personally, I feel in a relationship - between people who are in love/dating/married etc - there should be a mutual respect. I do not have to exercise my "machoness" or let the animal instinct in me take over my social manners and hence try to make my partner be afraid of me in a "healthy way".

Healthy fear may only be applicable - using the example you gave - say between parents and kids. Definitely not those in a relationship [married/dating/in love etc] in my opinion.

ayettymama:

finally a man with sense arrives. . . .

ive been monitoring this post and thinbking to myself

'theres no hope for nigerian men!'

LOL

ElRazur:

How can you be afraid of someone in a healthy way? To be afraid means to have fear. No? I do not want someone am dating or my partner to be afraid or fearful of me, I do not see how that is healthy. We are meant to be equals you know.

The OP's point at best is sexist and underlines the typical egomaniac crap that is killing most relationship. Especially in Nigeria IMO.

I never thought Id hear this from a Nigerian man, you're not nigerian

ElRazur:

I suspect you will come up with that. I do not sleep with my mum you see. So, in this case it may not be applicable.

From your posts, I guess it is safe to assume you are a Christian and possibly a devoted one? If so, yeah I see where you are coming from. Personally, I feel in a relationship - between people who are in love/dating/married etc - there should be a mutual respect. I do not have to exercise my "machoness" or let the animal instinct in me take over my social manners and hence try to make my partner be afraid of me in a healthy way.

Healthy fear may only be applicable - using the example you gave - say between parents and kids. Definitely not those in a relationship [married/dating/in love etc] in my opinion.

Growing up i had a fear of my father, but that in turn hindered us growing together having a relationship as father and daughter, but my mom, its not fear but intense respect and admiration that I would never do anything intentionally to hurt her and me and my mom are very close, me and my dad . . well now im older and he dont beat me anymore lol we are getting close and the fear is being replaced

platinumnk:


I never thought Id hear this from a Nigerian man, you're not nigerian

Look dear, what I say here is for here. In real life you will cook, clean and wash my dish. Heck you will wipe my backside when am done in the toilet too. After all, you WILL BE fearful of me.


Seriously, I think we are equals that is all. All these "machoness" do not help a relationship in this kind of area in my opinion. If you want to be macho, I guess you can help round the house, fix the tv when it is broken, paint the hallway when it is needed, etc. But then, that is my opinion.

seriously

ur not nigerian are you??

i mean im gna be honest

ive admired david i used to think he is sensible

but now. . . . . . . . . . . .

theres no hope

ElRazur:

I suspect you will come up with that. I do not sleep with my mum you see. So, in this case it may not be applicable.

From your posts, I guess it is safe to assume you are a Christian and possibly a devoted one? If so, yeah I see where you are coming from. Personally, I feel in a relationship - between people who are in love/dating/married etc - there should be a mutual respect. I do not have to exercise my "machoness" or let the animal instinct in me take over my social manners and hence try to make my partner be afraid of me in a healthy way.

Healthy fear may only be applicable - using the example you gave - say between parents and kids. Definitely not those in a relationship [married/dating/in love etc] in my opinion.

1. This has nothing to do with my christian beliefs.

2. You're assuming that a man asserting his authority in a relationship is simply being an "animal" who needlessly has to massage his ego by subjugating his partner. That is far from the truth.

3. I understand why you would reject my analogy, it stands in the way of your own narrow idea of what the OP is trying to say.

4. Here is my point in simple english - in a relationship there has to be a leader . . . and such a leader has to INSPIRE (note i dont use the term force or demand which i believe is wrong) respect from the one he claims to lead.

5. Ask the women who hail your posts as being "western" whether they will be comfortable marrying a wimp who lets them get away with just about anything.

ayettymama:

seriously

your not nigerian are you??

i mean im gna be honest

ive admired david i used to think he is sensible

but now. . . . . . . . . . . .

theres no hope

You're simply feeding into the false stereotype that blacks are animals and whites are humans. Sad but true. What has being Nigerian got to do with an opinion? I've seen Americans who treat their spouses worse than village men in Ijebu do.

ElRazur:

Seriously, I think we are equals that is all. All these "machoness" do not help a relationship in this kind of area in my opinion. If you want to be macho, I guess you can help round the house, fix the tv when it is broken, paint the hallway when it is needed, etc. But then, that is my opinion.

I am a proponent of women being submissive to their men and i have no apologies for that. That being said i see absolutely nothing wrong with a man cooking in his home or cleaning, its something i have done and will always do. It doesnt take anything away from you as a man and does not give your woman the right to think she can walk all over you.

ElRazur:

Look dear, what I say here is for here. In real life you will cook, clean and wash my dish. Heck you will wipe my backside when am done in the toilet too. After all, you WILL BE fearful of me.


Seriously, I think we are equals that is all. All these "machoness" do not help a relationship in this kind of area in my opinion. If you want to be macho, I guess you can help round the house, fix the tv when it is broken, paint the hallway when it is needed, etc. But then, that is my opinion.

again ure not nigerian

davidylan:



5. Ask the women who hail your posts as being "western" whether they will be comfortable marrying a wimp who lets them get away with just about anything.

David, if the respect if mutual 50/50 then why shouldnt the man be able to voice his concerns and be respected?
Since when did 50/50 mean that the guy is a wimp?

if 50 50 is the same wouldnt the girl be passive as well?

davidylan:



I am a proponent of women being submissive to their men and i have no apologies for that. That being said i see absolutely nothing wrong with a man cooking in his home or cleaning, its something i have done and will always do. It doesnt take anything away from you as a man and does not give your woman the right to think she can walk all over you.

Cut the cheese- u know nigerian men are one of the most bullheaded stubborn people

Again how does 50/50 equate the woman walking over the man?

platinumnk:

again ure not nigerian

that's disgustingly racist. It simply has to be said . . . i've never seen a race of people with such an inferior outlook about themselves.

platinumnk:

David, if the respect if mutual 50/50 then why shouldnt the man be able to voice his concerns and be respected?
Since when did 50/50 mean that the guy is a wimp?

if 50 50 is the same wouldnt the girl be passive as well?

Try flying an aircraft "50-50". It makes absolutely no sense . . . many of you really need to sit down and talk with your mothers and see how your 50-50 idea holds up. American marriages are all about 50-50 . . . care to give me the divorce rates.

davidylan:

1. This has nothing to do with my christian beliefs.

Fine by me. But the whole captain of the ship analogy is a classic biblical example no? "Jesu ni balogun oko yi" no? Okay cool.

2. You're assuming that a man asserting his authority in a relationship is simply being an "animal" who needlessly has to massage his ego by subjugating his partner. That is far from the truth.

No you are assuming that. Animal insticnt do not make one an animal in that sense, it more or less means doing what one is "programmed" to do. And from the way your original post goes, it is clear to all that you feel there should be a healthy measure of fearfulness. No?

3. I understand why you would reject my analogy, it stands in the way of your own narrow idea of what the OP is trying to say.

Again No. I reject your analogy on the basis that it do not fit in with the issue at hand. This is between those in a relationship. I.e a relationship between people dating/married/in love etc and not that of a mother and child in which you painted. Narrow idea? Erm okay.

4. Here is my point in simple english - in a relationship there has to be a leader . . . and such a leader has to INSPIRE (note i dont use the term force or demand which i believe is wrong) respect from the one he claims to lead.

Here, my point is that both parties in relationship are equal and as such there is no single leader.  

And from your original explanation, you expect a man to be in charge and put the woman in a position where she have a fear of the man [even though you say "healthy"]. I then went on to explain how been afraid in what ever form will is wrong.

You claimed your belief have nothing to do with this, yet your arguments are bordering on the classic bible lines of "As God is the head of the ship, so is man the head of the house" or something along those lines

5. Ask the women who hail your posts as being "western" whether they will be comfortable marrying a wimp who lets them get away with just about anything.

Dude. Let us stick to the issue at hand. It is an open forum please feel free to ask them. I really do not have to do that for you. Or perhaps if you disagree with my view and calling me a wimp, may be you should be "man enough" to come out and say so? Just a thought.

david the last time i checked this site was called nairaland, has that changed??

so if most of the men here agree with the jusk posted is it not safe to assume most nigerian men might too??

i mean say what u want

im just suprised u agreed with this article

and again i believe

all hope is lost. . . . . . .

davidylan:

that's disgustingly racist. It simply has to be said . . . i've never seen a race of people with such an inferior outlook about themselves.

Try flying an aircraft "50-50". It makes absolutely no sense . . . many of you really need to sit down and talk with your mothers and see how your 50-50 idea holds up. American marriages are all about 50-50 . . . care to give me the divorce rates.

Its not racism its a blunt observation.

flying an aircraft? If both pilots sat down and said hey u fly tonight and tommor you fly?

The whole "submissive thing" leaves a nasty taste in my mouth

My mother told me to be with someone who respects me not some one who wants become my  "lordship"