Should married men go clubbing?

It's fine with honest permission from either spouse. The man/woman may not mind but it is a selective process. As long as it does not lead to infidelity, it should be okay.

sistawoman:

So i should suddenly hate dancing when I become married?

What happened to one of the foundtion blocks of marriage called trust?

Where on the marriage licence does it say that I must stop being me and be someone else?

It is not a matter of trust, its not just in our culture plsss. There are certian things which will be accepted in america where you are and will not be accepted over here. If you must dance why not dance at home, and if you insist that u must dance in a club why not beg ur hubby to go with u rather than going alone. My sista this is naija n a large % of naija men wud never condone a woman going to club alone, in america it might not mean anything with those oyibo and if u are married to a naija man and he allows u to go, he just might be going thru sm mental torture which he is not letting out because of fear of alimony (no pun intended pls) that is why the western world is quite different from ours. How can u say a married woman will go to club and leave d hubby and kids at home all in d name of open eye, im sure by the time she gets back her things wud be outside waiting for her and let her wait for d court to share property, then she go know say naija different, haaa

Tosinville:

Jennykadry,

Thanks alot o! with your good points you just figured out like u already know my mind. Like i said earlier some men are having many wrong women in their lives as housewives.

Any nigerian man that tells the wife to go to the club is really up to sthg. He might not say anything but that woman"S every step is been watched. This is one of them reasons why our men after marrying from the outside still come back home and have another wife. The nigerian culture is far stronger than any other african culture. No nigerian man that truly and really loves his wife will let his wife go clubbing alone, I mean it is absurd. Trust or no trust that man must have some plans laid up already. If a woman wanna club then go with your man but for heavens sake it doesn"t mean you have to do it all the time or go alone

I myself do the girl's night out but I tell you it is done at our homes, we rotate the visit same way my hubby and his friends does his but it stays at home. Some people think its having an understanding man but I tell you nigerian men are quite conscious of everything that goes on around them. na today? little wonder they have all got wives/lovers back home as well.

So here is the piece that you are missing to complete the picture.

My husband works at night until around 3 or 4 am and on the weekends till dawn. That being said on the nights (very rare indeed. . only 4X's this year) that I want to go dancing and he is working I will go with one of my other married g/f. This club that we go to is full of Nigerian men and most know my husband.

I dance with several men but it is not how I dance with my husband. Because you dance in a club does not mean your body has to be touching the other person. This is America and the woman sets the tone for the dancing. A man has never touched me or let alone smack me on my ass. My wedding ring is always on my finger and with a simple jester i point to it and all is understood.

When I go clubbing the children are usually visiting family or friends and the house is empty. . . . my hubby will join me after the club at home for lots of uninterrupted play time and fun for both of us. He loves that all the reports back from his brothas are positive and that I always am very respectful.

But I could understand if my man knew that I was loose and not a woman who is of high morals and able to say no when a man is acting inappropriately.

So maybe it is only in Nigeria where women cant speak up and say stop it, but here we have rights and people listen.

Everyone to his/her own. PERSONALLY,i wont condone my woman visitin' an 'hippie' nightclub alone without my presence,cuz i wont do such too without HER presence, i dont really give a flippin' piece of horseshit about folly-induced ''civilized'' activities,morever she'd have known more than enough about me before settling down with me. The average nigerian nightclub,i heard,is like a 'kill or get killed hotspot'. If she thinks that marraige is a prison cuz of the curbin' of some of her activities as a sign of respect and honour to her hubby,she a'int gonna last on my team before getting substituted.  Sometime ago,i heard about an American celeb couple who mutually chose to sleep with different partners cuz they were bored, i'd bet anythin' in the world Nigerians would start copying start that very soon,too. IF YOU CAN'T DECIPHER THE WHEAT OF CIVILISATION FROM ITS CHAFF,YOU'RE JUST ONE AMONG THE MILLIONS OF THE DEAD MEN WALKING ABOUT ON EARTH.

^^^^^^Maybe the problem is understanding the difference in Nigerian clubs vs American clubs

No man wants to pay his $20.00 to get in a club and be bounced right out by one of the bouncers. If you disrespect a female in a club here you get tossed on your ass to the outside. No one touches you w/o an invite.

^^^Well,we all know club modes vary as much as cultural backgrounds to various genres of music,but i still believe what obtains in 'hippie' nightclubs in Nigeria can easily give an average married man second thoughts about permitting his beloved wife to frequent 'em alone,albeit in the name of freedom,gender equality.etc.

Jennykadry,

Well said and you're awesome with those good points and i'm absolutely sure your man is glad to have a wonderful woman like u.

Sistawoman,

You sounds like who diligently wrote this to twist everything all up about ur family, well i don't know you but i still believe ya tho! and here in nigeria too both sexes has the right to speak up and no one is anyone's slave but all i'm trying to saying is that there should be respect/regard for the family, besides nigerian club or american club they're still the same clubs so don't make sound as if nigerian clubs are more decent. Madam, let me ask you one question pls, how would u feel you're working all nights and your husband is busy going to clubs 4times every week?

Konjour,

Good point, bro!

This is some bullshit!!!

Why will she go clubbing.

^^^Man, i wonder o!, a married woman after several kids at home still having this stup1d fantasy to club even without her husband just because she love dancing?silly excuses and probably she'll be smoking nd drinking in the club 2, some women without dignity. I'm sure some men are regretting in silent falling into a wrong hand in the first place.

Why would she be smoking and drinking just because she going to a club with her girls,

Not everybody want to have a girl night out at home, some chose club as a venue and it not a bad thing. Not all clubs are KILL OR BE KILL venues, YOU GUYS NEED TO GET OUT MORE AND GROW THE FUCC UP,

Tosinville:

Madam, let me ask you one question pls, how would u feel you're working all nights and your husband is busy going to clubs 4times every week?

I would be totally pissed. . . esp since I have only been 4 x's this year.

Such a woman is not fit to be called WIFE.  But if you must go to night clubs, then your husband must be present.
If clubbing is still very much an important part of your life then stay single!
Intentionally exposing yourself to the temptations of adultery is a tall sign of irresponsibility, which will only lead to problems.

sistawoman:

I would be totally pissed. . . esp since I have only been 4 x's this year.

Why would you be pissed? I thought you said it's all about TRUST.

Condom:

Why would you be pissed? I thought you said it's all about TRUST.

Four Times a week is too much.

So a married woman dancing in the club with her girls is a ho?!!!! I done heard it all,

^^^ I know they have some decent clubs married women can go to, but all we saying is give your husband respect.

Give him respect? How is he being disrespected if the women are hanging with WOMEN and doing WOMEN THINGS?

sistawoman:

Four Times a week is too much.

You should in no way determine how many times is enough for him. If he enjoys it why not?
Accroding to you, as long as there's TRUST nothing else matters.

Mobo444,

man, never expect queeneve to give you coherent answers cos her type speaks before reasoning.

QueenEve,

Well as matter of fact, no one stops u not to do ladies thing with your friends but whats wrong with yall going to mall 4 shopping, beach, cinemas etc places where u can back for your family in the evening to spend the rest of the night with them.

why must it be clubbing as a married woman? Ask urself do u think u are different from a ho, even a LovePeddler is far beta than u by u leaving ur man and kids at home 4 some ridiculous fantasy else where in d middle of d night, if you're not ready for marriage commitment is not by force so some of u need to stop reasoning like teen cos things like is "medicine after death"

Condom,

Good answers for some weak souls here some men called their own wives.

The nigerian men that allow their wives do the clubs in the westernized world , allow this because they have no choice.

We all know the women over here have got more grounds than them men. A man cannot tie his wife down when she tells him she wants to do the club, he cannot scream, yell, shout at her for fear of bringing in the police.  He has no say in the matter as people see clubbing as a normal thing over here as opposed to nigeria. I really don't care if they have got nigerian clubs over here or not the truth still remains it is a gate way to adultery, easy.

I have been to the club with my man here and I tell you that , that has been my last and I also insisted that it was his last. He wasn't even interested I was the one that forced him to go. The smell of tobacco almost made me choke to death. The sight was an eye sore.

These nigerian men allow it because they have no choice. You cannot afford to divorce her for fear of losing almost everyting including your kids, they are stucked

queeneve:

So a married woman dancing in the club with her girls is a ho?!!!! I done heard it all,

I ask you this question honey, What song and dance do they play in the club and you's dance to that you can't do at home? what exactly is so special? is it the environment? or the almost naked tight gowns women wear? or the screaming or shouting in the club? or the strid dancers and stuffs? seriously


Dancing with a friend or even a sister isn't the issue here, the issue here is the environment

I like dancing myself, infact put on a jay sean "down" , kevin rudoff'i made it', or a justin bieber and seankingston song "make up your mind" and I will rock my life out in my living room

Not going to the club does not mean I am not up to date, thats my point.

^^^Superb!!!, such an intelligent lady like jennykadry.

I guess QueenEve and Sistawoman will really appreciate your effort after updating and making use of that I.Q they dump behind.

Jenny,

I dont know what part of USA you are but there are nice clubs that does not allow that type of scene, I have been to PLENTY OF CLUBS AND VARIETY OF CLUBS, each club are not the same and if you chooses to go to a skank club that your choice,

I dont go to those type of club and the clubs I go to are for matured adult with matured taste, THEY HAVE DRESS CODE THAT ARE STRICT and MANY MARRIED COUPLES GO TO THESE CLUBS THAT I AM TALKIN ABOUT THEY ARE NOT LIKE THE ONES YOU DESCRIBED,

it a matter of knowing what clubs are good and what clubs are bad, I have been to a club few time without my husband with my girls and NO ONE IN MY CIRCLE COMMITTED ANY ADULTERY and in fact REAL MEN do not disrespect women under any circumstance,

Toshin,

You can call me whatever bish, but guess what I will still go to the matured clubs, now what you gon do now?

queeneve:

Jenny,

I dont know what part of USA you are but there are nice clubs that does not allow that type of scene, I have been to PLENTY OF CLUBS AND VARIETY OF CLUBS, each club are not the same and if you chooses to go to a skank club that your choice,
I dont go to those type of club and the clubs I go to are for matured adult with matured taste, THEY HAVE DRESS CODE THAT ARE STRICT and MANY MARRIED COUPLES GO TO THESE CLUBS THAT I AM TALKIN ABOUT THEY ARE NOT LIKE THE ONES YOU DESCRIBED,

it a matter of knowing what clubs are good and what clubs are bad, I have been to a club few time without my husband with my girls and NO ONE IN MY CIRCLE COMMITTED ANY ADULTERY and in fact REAL MEN do not disrespect women under any circumstance,

What's all these? where have I insulted you directly or indirectly? Did you have to chip in your indirect insults especially when it wasn't necessary?Well I thought I could hold a decent convo with you but apparently not. Enjoy your night


@Tosin

My question is this: what is a married woman who's got a career doing in the club?  If a woman has got a real professional job that keeps her busy I bet you the little time she has she'd wanna spend it with her family. Sometimes I work weekends and cannot imagine myself doing the clubs the weekends I am free. Why not spend it with my family?

Real men like queen said do not disrespect women but 90% of them men that go to the clubs are not real but jobless set of species so?

Club is a gateway to adultery. If a woman gets r[i]a[/i]ped in the club for example, the police would ask her what she was doing there , the way the case will be treated will be quite different from a woman who got r[i]a[/i]ped in her home, or the streets on her way towork or in the supermarket

Club is indecent period, anybody bite me if they like, my blood tastes bitter though

Jenny,

Apparently you misconstrued my posts, I have not said that you offend me nor insult me, I was speaking generally that if we choose to go skank clubs that what we will experience and I simply stated that not all clubs are like that.

Anyway, we all have our own opinions and there is no need to keep going in circles about it cos at the end of the day we will do what we want to do anyways.

You have a good night too.

Women get rape anywhere and let not put it on clubs. Rape is wrong NO MATTER WHERE IT DONE AT, you people putting too much into something that is harmless, REGARDLESS IF A WOMAN HAS A CAREER OR NOT, if her husband does not have an issue with it, WHY DO YOU?

Nelton:

It is not a matter of trust, its not just in our culture plsss. There are certian things which will be accepted in america where you are and will not be accepted over here. If you must dance why not dance at home, and if you insist that u must dance in a club why not beg your hubby to go with u rather than going alone. My sista this is naija n a large % of naija men wud never condone a woman going to club alone, in america it might not mean anything with those oyibo and if u are married to a naija man and he allows u to go, he just might be going thru sm mental torture which he is not letting out because of fear of alimony (no pun intended pls) that is why the western world is quite different from ours. How can u say a married woman will go to club and leave d hubby and kids at home all in d name of open eye, im sure by the time she gets back her things wud be outside waiting for her and let her wait for d court to share property, then she go know say naija different, haaa

you have said it all bro,this is 100% 9ja. @queeneve,i have a little qeustion for,if you went to a club and you see your brothers wife there alone what will be your reaction? Pls answer sincerely