MRSHYCAT:
Sometimes I don't understand how people will claim they are confused in situations like this. Even if I tell you to continue with her, will your mind still be at rest in the relationship??
Egbon, you don't need anybody's validation to remain or get out of any fruitless relationship.
ps: My humble advice is that you look for the closest route out of that relationship. Learn not to manage unhealthy relationships. It kills faster than AIDS.
Secondly, do not be deceived, she has not met the kind of guy she wants to marry. She is seriously weighing her options which is the reason for the uninformed dates.
Emm, before I drop the mic, abeg try get money. There won't be room for bs!!!

Yours is divine, I doff my cap!

chiommy123:
I think you should sit her down and make her understand how her actions make you feel and tell its her last chance to make things work

I don't usually comment on issues like this, but i think this is the dumbest advice ever.
Girls should stop playing with people's intelligence.
If you are serious be serious, if you are not serious make it known.
I have this feeling that you may encourage such behavior trying to play the pacifist here after all that gave been narrated.
I hate when a girl takes a guy for granted.
I don't and I will never tolerate it.
This is why I don't particularly like girls who are always care free and shameless in front of guys who are not their fiancee.

Oga, just forget this girl and go look for wife elsewhere.
She is just monkey branching you. She is simply keeping you along with those excuses while she hopes and waits for a guy who matches the kind of guy she wish to have.
This is the reason I don't like dating a lady before marriage because it brings so many insecurities with it.

HomeOfMe:
Just open up to her about how you feel about it. He response will determine what your next step would be.

You see why its always bad to seek advice from ladies.
As emotional as you are would you tolerate it if your would be husband gets a phone number of a strange lady right in front of you?
Please, just keep your advice to yourself.
Sometimes you girls don't deserve men who respect you.

You need a bad boy and deceiving cheat to appreciate why good men act the way they do

Heineken:
you're wise dear.

Nonsense.
Did you even comprehend her comment?

babeosisi:


As someone who has close male friends i can assure you it is totally harmless.
I grew up with brothers and boy cousins so I am very very comfortable amongst males.
As a kid I would be the girl with 5 boys drinking Fanta and eating meat pies at a local store.
Your girl could be the same way.

When I met my hubby he was horrified that a girl would have close male friends.
It made him uncomfortable but over the years he has come to understand that there is nothing to it.
I have also modified some things for the sake of my hubby.
Even till this day I have close male friends and that's just what they are - friends, and he knows it and is comfortable with it.
I believe that with time you would come to know your woman better and appreciate that there is no romantic undertone to it.None whatsoever
She will also modify certain things to make you comfortable if she is wise.

This is not a reason to end a good relationship
Ladies who cheat do it undercover,you will never know who those men are.
A woman who cheats will cheat with men you will never hear about.the fact that this is out in the open shows you there is nothing to it.
Don't fuss over nothing.
Remember that a woman could also have lesbian affairs with female friends so if you think she is "safe" with females you could be wrong

Madam, I can bet you did not read the full story.
And you are using your situation to judge others here. They don't agree.
Did you read the fiancee part?
The collecting of phone number from a stranger?
The frequent visit to a old friends place?
Connect the dot. Does she look like someone who can respect a husband with this kind of behavior?

These so called harmless play most times ends up harmful.

Please, stop watering down bad behavior with faithful women being cheats, having lesbian partners and all other bull crap.
Is all pure false equivalence.

A lady who is ready for marriage should act it and stop being childish.

Its better to lose someone who makes you feel insecure and trust one you are sure of .

Her behavior is psychologically and emotionally toxic.
He should drop her and look for a wife elsewhere.

safarigirl:
so, do you just leave your husband standing and walk away to chat with your male friends?

Do you have lunch with them without informing your husband earlier? Do you go to visit single men in their houses? Do you chat up random guys inside public transport and give them your number when your man is sitting next to you?

See, ehn, me sef I grew up with guys, but let us not mistake growing up with guys and being comfortable around them, to openly disrespecting one's partner continuously.

I like your reasoning.
Some self conceited girls think being in a relationship is about swallowing every muck and filth they throw at you using their own lifestyle as the scale to judge everyone.
If my own sister try that rubbish na me go blast am pass sef.

I had a girl like that who was so close to guys but in the end I found out she was bleeping a guy she told me nothing was happening between them .guy be vigilant ,most girls with these kind of attitude are not worth the stress

majorbravo:


POINT ONE
OP answer these questions and I will tell you what is truly happening.

How old is She? Is she very young? OR mature (above 25)?

Is she good looking? As in totally hot with you-know them really attractive body augmentations? OR just the average plank type?

How does she dress? very fashion conscious? hair on fleek? and revealing or tight outfits? OR just shirt and trouser looking like a guy sometimes?

How does she sound when she is talking to the guys? Flirty, eye contacts, touching tenderly? OR joking, laughing out loud, serious?

Answer these sincerely and I think you have your answer.
She is either a runs babe OR just a playful girl.

There are females that are very friendly and that I am friendly with but would never consider smashing. There are others I can't even look at without my mind making suggestions. It's all a matter of attraction, if she is the kinky type, there is no way she can be just friends with so many guys cos the guys themselves would make friendship impossible with their constant disturbance and tricks to try get her into bed. So you must know what kind of girl you are dating. If she is hot cake and she has these many guys as casual friends, then dude wake up.

POINT TWO:
After you have settled the questions in point one consider these: Your financial situation might be a problem, this behavior is common in girls who are dating men that aren't doing very well financially. She might be keeping her options open for other suitors who are better off. Girls are wiser now, giving her a ring doesn't mean she is in love with you, she may just be keeping you as a last resort in case she can't find a better man who is genuinely interested in her.

POINT THREE
If she is immature, there is a tendency she doesn't understand what marriage is about and this is the time for you to ensure she is properly educated on this. There is no 'me' in marriage but 'us'. If anyone is to remain friends with her, he has to become a family friend (friend of us), that means she has to know she is no longer single nor available, if there are guys she knows, they must become your friends too if they want to keep their friendship. If they want her number, she should give them yours as well, If they visit, they visit both of you, if they want to take her out, they take both of you out, lol' Gottem?

MODIFIED: OP did you say you just met her in final year and you guys are serving together? So you are both on the same level? Wow sorry bro, How do you expect to marry a girl you are on the same level with? Do you even know her history? She may have known those guys longer than she has known you and may have a crush on some of them, even slept with a number of them before she met you, she may only be with you because they haven't asked her out yet. Moreover what differentiates you in quality, from her other friends? But here you are wanting to trap her with marriage.

She isn't in love with you yet bro. She is trying to be smart with you, you are her insurance incase no one else gives her assurance. Go and ask people who got married to their campus lover, they were dating at least 3 years in school before the proposal came, you don't even know her school friends or her lifestyle in school, you just started dating not even up to one year and you already want to tie her down with marriage.

If you are still job hunting, I'm sorry, but you aren't ready to settle, she wont hesitate to move on to another man in Lagos who is up to the task. Infact you are the one spoiling her moves to meet capable suitors. She has only one year in Lagos to find an Island Big boy and you're sweating her with your jealousy because of ring. Ring is not enough, is it corper allowee she would use to buy pampers for her baby? Bro go make money and come back when you are ready.

One last question for you OP.
When the guy in camp held her hand and led her away, did she introduce you to him as her fiance? If she didn't, bro you are not only single but a Maga! This kind of relationship is called Romance Scam' You wont be the first nor last. Welcome to the real world.

Reading this submission was not only refreshing,it was more. As a matter of fact,i didn't only read,i swallowed every word,pushed with water and digested it...you really analysed the situation well , without mincing words.
Bravo!

cyraxx:
Hello everyone.

So I met this girl in my Fifth year in Unizik. She too was in her finals though a different department. We started dating, worked our service to Lagos. It's been fun, I have shown her to my parents And hope to go see hers soon we have been through lot together but she is very Free around guys;

1. We where in a bus en route to surulele suddenly she started a conversation with a dude told him everything about her life and he demanded her number which she gave him. I was there looking and she didn't see any big deal after all he will only call and she won't even do anything with him.

2. She ran into a course mate in camp in my presence he held her hand and they left to meet his friends I was just standing there when she came back no apology.

3. A guy she knew in school got to know she is in lagos, he took her out for lunch. He started visiting her. And he started inviting her over. She told me about the lunch after it was already done. And I got to know of their visit from her facebook chat. When I confronted her she said he is engaged and his fiancee knows about their visits.

4. She visited a guy who wants to marry her with out my consent. But told me later. When I confronted her she said she told him about us.

Am lost on what to do. We have been through a lot, she has been telling her parents about me all her relations are tired of her talking of me and are waiting to see me.

She has rejected many men for me. But am just lost I feel am not being respected. She has also rejected many marriage proposal because of me.

I am just lost, I called off the whole thing and she has been in anguish begging and pleading buh this is not the first time it only gets worst.

I'd feel like a fool if my guy done that to me. it's disrespectful n she's not considering your feelings. If U go on with the relationship U must ask yourself will she change?
After marraige will she change?
That's wat U should ask yourself.
Girl like that be hard to trust.