Both of you should come to a compromise.

Also whether you like it or not, an house help would be indispensable in this scenario.

??

likeme:


It is quite derogatory to be calling somebody's husband an azz. Show some repect I beg.
If the man has been putting up with this no cooking for 5 years expecting that the wife will change and she did not . what do upu expect, he should not voice out his opinion again?

what is derogatory is your inability to write. what is UPU ? anyway i digress, if the man has been putting up with it for 5 years then he is not a principled man and as such should put up with it for another 40 years. if he wasnt down with it from the start he should not have married her, expecting her to change. you do not change people. you accept them as they are.

Wait a minute, what is this Cork of a guy or lady saying?
I have been reading his pots.
Very funny

you must like being single

@buzugee,
I have seen that you have been picking on my post. waoh, If at your level and size you cannot get the meaning of my post, then there is a big issue with you. Check my fans, walahi Aya e a ja!
This is more unless a chat forum, not a thesis class. By the way, the best response to somebody like you is to keep quiet.

likeme:

@buzugee,
I have seen that you have been picking on my post. waoh, If at your level and size you cannot get the meaning of my post, then there is a big issue with you. Check my fans, walahi Aya e a ja!
This is more unless a chat forum, not a thesis class. By the way, the best response to somebody like you is to keep quiet.

there you go again writing like an illegible dyslexic    .DUDE i was minding my own business till you decided to mouth off to me. so the lesson you have learned today is 'do not start something you cannot finish' 

to the poster,

Why don't you admit that you are a[b] LAZY[/b] wife. What if your husband also told you that he is not cut out to open doors for you; to protect you and the kids; to mow the lawn, if necessary; to change light bulbs and fixtures that need replacement; to make sure that the family is not wanting of fundamental needs like food, shelter, etc; what would you say?

Princek12:

to the poster,

Why don't you admit that you are a[b] LAZY[/b] wife. What if your husband also told you that he is not cut out to open doors for you; to protect you and the kids; to mow the lawn, if necessary; to change light bulbs and fixtures that need replacement; to make sure that the family is not wanting of fundamental needs like food, shelter, etc; what would you say?

i am sure she will be smart enough not to marry him.
this guy already knew what she was about but he still married her anyway. whose fault is that ?

ebonyvibe:

I have always being like this how come it is now a problem. That is what baffles me

buzugee:

i am sure she will be smart enough not to marry him.
this guy already knew what she was about but he still married her anyway. whose fault is that ?

You are right. He knew what he was getting into but married her anyway.

BOTTOMLINE, people, before you marry someone, study their weak points. then decide if you can live with their weak points. if you cannot live with their weak points DO NOT marry them.

how you are obsessed with eating eba, shaki, ogunfe, amala, pomo, egunsi etc and you go ahead and marry a woman who is non-domesticated is beyond me.

@Poster you do not like cooking but like eating,EWU career woman.Do you also tell your husband that you do not like F-U-C-K-I-NG?

Na wa for you oooo. I'm very best sure that u.re not tired of having sex every night.

na true the woman talk ooooo, i beg try to fix things with your husband because your family is more important just as your carrier is also more important too, na wa for this life self, if you do , people go talk, if you no kuku do, dem go still talk na wa ooooooooooooooooooooo,

chrishenzo,

I am stating the facts about what goes on in a real chinese family. Obviously you know nothing much about the subject and can't even recognise real from your so call fake.

By the way, I see you love don't arguing for the sake of arguing. Go for anger management, learn some manners and spend some time in the East and if you are still interested to discuss in a civilise manner about chinese culture , only then, I will entertain you, till then ,



Re: I Hate Housework And Cooking
«

Quote from: chrishenzo,


Stop kidding me with those words. Two questions

Why do most Chinese girls always dream to have a Shanghai as a boyfriend?
Why do most Chinese girls prefer a weak man to a strong man that can stand on his decisions?

Don't give me a fake answer. Use what happen in real chinese life to answer my question

I hate housework too.  I think your husband is being unreasonable and selfish to not want you to hire help. 
What's the purpose of working hard to make money if you cannot use that money to live a less stressful life

However, you know the kind of man you married so why wasn't this thrashed out before saying I do?  Why did he marry a career woman knowing he wants a traditional housewife?  And why did a career woman marry a man that wants a traditional housewife? 

This issue is deep; there's no straightforward solution.  If two people come into marriage with different ideas of what their roles are supposed to be, it's very very difficult to make it work.  Someone has to compromise and be unhappy.  Either you or him.

If a man has lived his whole life dreaming that one day he will have a wonderful "humble" wife to cook and clean and take care of his kids, how can he be happy with a career-oriented mate? At the same time, it's not fair that every woman in the world must be a cook and a cleaner. So no solution.

You need to choose which one is more important to you " Your Family or whatever.  My wife has musical talent very much like ASA but she dropped it to face her family and took up business of buying and selling. She cooks nice Yoruba dishes and takes care of our daughter like a princess, makes her hair and prepare her for school regularly, Tidy the house and serve my food hot always. Funny enough my 4yr old daughter has began learning from her mom in everything.

Point : You have to be decisive.

Mshewwwwwwwwwwww, abeg next post jare, awon oni ranu shiooooooooooooo hmmhmm

//

Sa Goddess

@ OP, what I do is cook enough food (different dishes) to last a couple of days, I do this on Sundays, I do thorough house-cleaning on Saturdays and laundry and cooking for the next couple of days on Sunday.  In the evenings, I give my son food, wash him then do whatever else I have to do, I may clean the floor twice a week BUT most importantly, I have a system that works for me.


Establish your own routine and make it work for you.  Do you have to be at the office until late, can't you take the work home and finish it there while doing other things?  Would your man be open to eating food from the fridge as opposed to fresh from the pot?  I ask because some men swear they would never eat "yesterday's" food  Grin

first of all i think we have a problem here. to start with i am glad that we still have women like Sa Goddess who still place some level of importance on the family. this world really is becoming a very sick place. phew!!   anyway, thank God for women like SA Goddess who still has some of what is required to be a woman in her. i wish this womans husband luck. then again, i wonder what he was thinking when he married her. didnt he know she couldnt cook when we went for her hand in marriage?
at the end of the day i still believe she has more hope and potential than all those females who have virtually encouraged her to abandon her family and her wifely roles for he sake of career. those one are unfortunately a lost cause.  

Seun:

I hate housework too.  I think your husband is being unreasonable and selfish to not want you to hire help. 
What's the purpose of working hard to make money if you cannot use that money to live a less stressful life

However, you know the kind of man you married so why wasn't this thrashed out before saying I do?  Why did he marry a career woman knowing he wants a traditional housewife?  And why did a career woman marry a man that wants a traditional housewife? 

This issue is deep; there's no straightforward solution.  If two people come into marriage with different ideas of what their roles are supposed to be, it's very very difficult to make it work.  Someone has to compromise and be unhappy.  Either you or him.

If a man has lived his whole life dreaming that one day he will have a wonderful "humble" wife to cook and clean and take care of his kids, how can he be happy with a career-oriented mate?  At the same time, it's not fair that every woman in the world must be a cook and a cleaner.  So no solution.

While I do not quarrel with your assertion about the parties assuming responsibility for their choice in marrying someone who does not embody the traits they desire in a relationship, I believe the main issue here is the inability of a career woman to balance her professional life with her household life. I do not believe it unreasonable for a career  woman to cook and clean, for she does not have to do such duties everyday. She can cook meals that will last the family for a couple of days, while she can clean on her days off. The poster, on the other hand, has expressed her unwillingness and has shown her laziness by her categorical repudiation of cleaning and cooking, attributing it to the fact that she was not raised that way. That, I despise.

You see why men run outside!

How can a woman with kids leave the house by 5am and come back by 10pm to sleep.

The choice is yours, you have to choose between your family unity and your job.

Seun:

I hate housework too.  I think your husband is being unreasonable and selfish to not want you to hire help. 
What's the purpose of working hard to make money if you cannot use that money to live a less stressful life

However, you know the kind of man you married so why wasn't this thrashed out before saying I do?  Why did he marry a career woman knowing he wants a traditional housewife?  And why did a career woman marry a man that wants a traditional housewife? 

This issue is deep; there's no straightforward solution.  If two people come into marriage with different ideas of what their roles are supposed to be, it's very very difficult to make it work.  Someone has to compromise and be unhappy.  Either you or him.

If a man has lived his whole life dreaming that one day he will have a wonderful "humble" wife to cook and clean and take care of his kids, how can he be happy with a career-oriented mate?  At the same time, it's not fair that every woman in the world must be a cook and a cleaner.  So no solution.

You must be lazy, Cooking and Cleaning your own home where you live is no stress unless for a lazy woman who has no basic home training. Washing is the stressful house work and i bought my wife a washing machine to assist her.

Same is applicable to men.  A man that wants to talk about his wife's laziness must be able to do house work and possibly know how to cook too, It's a life time problem for woman  who cannot cook and do house work but men do have alternative of marrying a good wife.

You shouldnt have gotten married in the first place,any woman that neglect her basic responsibility shouldnt be called one,very soon,your husband will find succor in another woman and pls dont go abt complaining,I rest my case

Mobinga's Solution : Give Your Husband a Good Fluting every evening for 30 Minutes, he'll forget all his troubles

When priorites are mislaid, that is the begining of a broken home. Find out what should take precedence and judge rightly. It all depends on what is the most important thing to you. I guess just as the housework and cooking suffers, so likely the rest of the family. The husband is in the right to express his displeasure, and please dont take it the wrong way.

Always remember that work is a means to and end, not the reason for existance, we have all got ourselves so caught up in all this career race that we often forget to stop and smell the fresh flowers. Remember career is not everything, you dont want to look back years from now with regret.

I believe we all have our preferences, most high flying mums I know are single mums, except for those who have mastered the delicate  art of balancing the home front with workplace.

Based on your comment, your career progression is sancrosanct , your comments also suggest that you are probably doing better than your husband in financial terms. Therefore, the man maybe  condoning your weaknesses because he does not have much choice, I dont think this will continue forever.

There are basically three options here:

1. Resign  your appointment and take charge of your home
2. Get a job or a business the offers you liberal time schedule, so that you can pull your weight  while still making your dough by the sides
3. Just continue this way and brace up for the impending marriage crash.

Personally, I prefer option 2.

However, you still need an house help, but your husband  wants you to be personally responsible for some  tasks that he holds dear to himself.

Make your choice sister,

Poster's husband should get a second wife that only works part time.

Chaircover,

I think you articulated my point very well. People are fast missing the point about marriage. Marriage is not about having a fantastic career that takes you away from your family. it is about looking at your family and listening to them and and thier needs, it is about putting our selfish desires aside and thinking of your family first, and just as chaircover said it is all about your family coming home to a loving Mum and wife, rather that family waiting till 10pm for a tired Partner.

@deniyor, I wouldnt recommend or encourage that. I think this lady came on here for some good advice, and the least we can do is offer her some, no matter how truthful it might sound