tpiah:

lest i forget

op, on the offchance you're actually posting innocently here without any undercurrents in the background, you should be careful how you introduce your personal matters on the web.

things arent what they seem, and a lot goes on same as the unseen forces in real life.

just a word of warning, which you're quite free to ignore.

of course, if you're already in the system then no problem.


but posting on the web is like giving a speech in a huge marketplace full of people- even folks you dont know (and the ones you do know) are seeing and listening to you. And rest assured they will dig into your matters.

Ok, this is probably what the OP read and decided to delete all her posts and title.

tpiah, you olofofo.

Another disadvantage of feminism. For them, it's career over everything else including children.Tomorrow, when the man gets rid of her, she and her girlfriends will rally and scream "down with men! ! !". I wonder why they get married in the first place.They are the same people who push and push and push a man for marriage and after that, the man starts tolerating all sorts of rubbish.

E get as e be.

[color=#000099][/color]The hardest mistake a MAN could made is to "MARRY A WIFE THAT PAYS MORE ATTENTION TO COSMETIC RATHER THAN THINGS THAT ADD VALUE TO LIFE"

She probably removed them cos she didnt get the back up she was looking for, hehe!! Silly! You ask people their opinion and you have to take the good with the bad.

To every woman in this forum that yerns to create a balance in her life, GO GET THE FOLLOWING BOOK AND READ.

MY MOTHER/MYSELF BY NANCY FRIDAY.

A woman's life is a life of struggle; there is need for her to find balance and u can only do this by first discovering your personality, face the realities of your existence then create the needed balance between your personal devils.

What's with the flags Marcus? Just curious!

The original poster removed her posts, hmph

I think if your husband has the expectation for you to be a full time housewife, then he should create the environment that allows for that. If your family relies on the money that your career brings in to maintain your home and family's current lifestyle, then expectations need to be adjusted. You cannot have a full time housewife and expect her to contribute financially to the home.

shebi u are working, so u can afford a househelp so why come to internet to nag and continue wat u did not finish at home

abeg go and make ur marriage work and stop complaining to the public, i wish i read your original post.

maybe u are looking for excuse to go outside, sorry dear it is not that simple anymore

@op,
am sure u v been waiting for my post.d truth is dat something is wrong with our women.u allow them a finger and they put the whole hand.who says u cant combine being a careeer woman with being a good housewife.i think u are d lazy type.if cant combine both successfully then u are a FAILURE.hope u even satisfy oga in bed.if u cant,then i` suggest that u get him a househelp who will be taking care of him(cooking his meals and forking him).

johnterry has spoken

@op,
am sure u v been waiting for my post.d truth is dat something is wrong with our women.u allow them a finger and they put the whole hand.who says u cant combine being a careeer woman with being a good housewife.i think u are d lazy type.if u cant combine both successfully then u are a FAILURE.hope u even satisfy oga in bed.if u cant,then i` suggest that u get him a househelp who will be taking care of him(cooking his meals and forking him).

johnterry has spoken

This lady is not qualified to be called a wife, she is a contract wife and as such no serious advise is required. If she wants to be a wife then she should learn the basics of been a wife.

You wanna work 24 hrs and neglect your wifely duties? Have you ever heard of women that go part time just to be there for their family?

hiss

Thats so wrong, a compromise has to be reached in this situation.

nkilirox:

The original poster removed her posts, hmph

I think if your husband has the expectation for you to be a full time housewife, then he should create the environment that allows for that. If your family relies on the money that your career brings in to maintain your home and family's current lifestyle, then expectations need to be adjusted. You cannot have a full time housewife and expect her to contribute financially to the home.

Thank you nkilirox

johnterry4:

@op,
am sure u v been waiting for my post.d truth is dat something is wrong with our women.u allow them a finger and they put the whole hand.who says u cant combine being a careeer woman with being a good housewife.i think u are d lazy type.if u cant combine both successfully then u are a FAILURE.hope u even satisfy oga in bed.if u cant,then i` suggest that u get him a househelp who will be taking care of him(cooking his meals and forking him).

johnterry has spoken

@Johnterry,

Will it still be 50/50?, Is she a super human being?what exactly will be the role of the husband in this kind of marriage? Is a man expected to share his perceived main role with the wife but the wife not expected to shed any of her own main roles? I guess this is this the only kind of marriage that will make a man happy? so what of the woman? am sure you will tell me that was what she was born to do- the unfortunate woman!

@Post,

The responses to this thread are a lesson to all women who carry unneccessary loads, they work hard for other people to enjoy and are never appreciated for it, the society will still condenm you!
If it is a small apartment your husband can afford stay there with him, if it is some 'ponmo' he can afford eat it like that, for the singles, make sure it is thouroughly discussed before marriage

For the Poster, if you are still checking, Chaircover has mentioned something about her children's school, you may contact her for details if you happen to stay in the same city. I understand your desire to do your best towards your Children's education, but all they may remember when they start to work in 'NASA' is that they had a mother who was never around! that is, if your work load does not destroy your health before then and you are actually around to reap the fruit of your labour.

jennykadry:

You wanna work 24 hrs and neglect your wifely duties? Have you ever heard of women that go part time just to be there for their family?

hiss

johnterry4:

@op,
am sure u v been waiting for my post.d truth is dat something is wrong with our women.u allow them a finger and they put the whole hand.who says u cant combine being a careeer woman with being a good housewife.i think u are d lazy type.if cant combine both successfully then u are a FAILURE.hope u even satisfy oga in bed.if u cant,then i` suggest that u get him a househelp who will be taking care of him(cooking his meals and forking him).

johnterry has spoken

opribo:

This lady is not qualified to be called a wife, she is a contract wife and as such no serious advise is required. If she wants to be a wife then she should learn the basics of been a wife.

kaecy5:

shebi u are working, so u can afford a househelp so why come to internet to nag and continue wat u did not finish at home

abeg go and make your marriage work and stop complaining to the public, i wish i read your original post.

maybe u are looking for excuse to go outside, sorry dear it is not that simple anymore

Can someone please explain why everyone is being so insensitive? I read the original post but didn't comment because I KNEW Nl'ers would rain all sorts of insults on her. You guys need to chill sometimes. Its easy for you to insult her and tell her she's a contract wife and all what not but do you know how she feels?
If someone asks for advice they are doing so not because they like airing their laundry out in the open, but because they NEED advice! You people on Nairaland have the habit of doing so and its a very stupid habit to say the least. This is just a woman who is overworked. Keep your meaningless insults to yourself! Jeez.

@Poster ; If they haven't driven you away already, then here is what I think. You are going to have to cut down on your working hours. That's it. Working ten hours is not good for anyone's health. You need to relax . . . Is there any way of reducing your workload? Please find a way. If the worst comes to the worst, then you might have to quit the job to make your home happier. Something clearly has to give here. If it was a man in this situation, all the morons screaming blue murder would have said "Well, he is a man and he needs to provide!". But since your husband is also working and you said he gets home earlier than you do, then you need to do something about that job. And tell him to be a little more sensitive to your plight. Its not like anyone would work if not for the money.

The funny thing is that people are insulting her and did not even read what she wrote. Pretty much everybody on the last page that insulted her is mentally unstable because you don't even know what she wrote and you are running your mouth. okpo

Outstrip:

The funny thing is that people are insulting her and did not even read what she wrote. Pretty much everybody on the last page that insulted her is mentally unstable because you don't even know what she wrote and you are running your mouth. okpo

okpo na food na

Guys check out this scenario (Kindly note that the below are all assumptions as the poster might not be resident in Lagos,Nigeria ):

Poster's home :Some where around Ajah,Lekki Lagos
Poster's office: Ikeja,Lagos
Poster's job: Banking,Telecommunications,Oil and Gas e.t.c
Poster's resumption time: 7.30 a.m- 8.00 a.m
Closing Time: 6P.M- 6.30(For Bankers this might be unrealistic as some close as late as 9 to 10p.m) but for this case study we are assuming the she closes around the time stated.

Driving/Traffic in Lagos is terrible.
Believe me sometimes i leave Victoria Island around 6.45pm but get home 3 HOURS LATER!!!!
Most organisations in Nigeria open for bussiness around 8.00am and sometimes you have to leave home as early as 5.30AM to beat the traffic so as to be punctual.


The poster's resumption time might be 8.00am (which is normal) and closing time 6.30am ( ok by me).Now she isnt expected to fly home is she,

Point am trying to make is that her location might be a major factor here.

Correct if i am wrong( cos i didnt get to read the her posts) but I REALLY doubt she starts working at 5.am and stops working at 10am

My bet is she leaves on time to get to work early and after work she gets stuck in traffic for about 2/4 hours before getting home( Half of the folks in Lag go through the same stuff too).

My prayer for her and her hubby is to work things out .And the solution might be to get a place closer to her work place(if the traffic is the issue and if her pay is crucial to their budget)

I was in the same situation 7 years ago and i was single and 23 years old. I am now married with two kids.

The good thing is that i married my best friend and he told me it couldnt work within 2 months of our dating (not marriage) I remember he would close from work around 6m and wait for me till 8pm sometimes 10pm( if our accounts do not balance , I was a banker (funds transfer desk).The AJAH traffic was worse backthen 2005-2007 especially coming from co-operative villa .

I had to resign to get a less demanding job in an oil company (we close 4pm) and the pay is even better but how may people can get these jobs.


Poster work things out with your husband.

//

@iyabasire

Did u just quote my post and call it some meaningless insult? Are u bored or just plain hopeless?

jennykadry:

@iyabasire

Did u just quote my post and call it some meaningless insult? Are u bored or just plain hopeless?

Of course I did. You saw it yourself didn't you? Look, if something is wrong, it is wrong. When mutter was not making sense on another thread , we were able to agree with each other. But THIS! No.
Common sense should tell you that nobody wants to work 24 hours and neglect their wifely duties. What makes you think she doesn't want to sit down and relax? If she came to this site to post a problem, its really daft of you to make such a comment. Why would you just assume that because she's having a problem means that she's interested in being a bad wife? There's no reason to assume the worst of someone based on a few lines she wrote.
No i'm not bored or hopeless. I just don't like insensitive and unintelligent comments. I mean I was disappointed in you. I really really expected you to have more sense. But I guess I overestimated you.

you are nt making sense,you know why? Because you talk to much iyabasira

Y

jennykadry:

you are nt making sense,you know why? Because you talk to much iyabasira

Maybe I do talk too much. But I also know I make sense, so there.

@jennykadry
why you no fly off the handle now? abi you dey fear iya basira?

@iya basira
you considered her comment in a vacuum, did you see the original post?

Yeah I saw the first post before it was deleted. But I didn't comment at that time.

so you saw OP mention that she leaves home at 5am, comes back at 10pm and writes report till 12am (without even hinting at the fact that she might be willing to tone it down). . .majority of the folks here hinged their reply on that fact.

as i said earlier, this thread should have been posted in family, not in romance.

netotse:

so you saw OP mention that she leaves home at 5am, comes back at 10pm and writes report till 12am (without even hinting at the fact that she might be willing to tone it down). . .majority of the folks here hinged their reply on that fact.

as i said earlier, this thread should have been posted in family, not in romance.

Yeah I noticed that she didn't say anything about being willing to tone it down, but to me that meant that she actually enjoys her work. Which is why I mentioned that she needs to cut down on her working hours. But my point is that NL'ers love to insult people when they ask for advice. That is what annoys me.

@iyabasira,

Maybe romance section dey in order for this our sister to post this thing o. If you do 19 hpours of work daily, romance for marriage too go suffer o.

Chaircover my sister,

I think many of us don give sincere advice regarding downsizing.  We know say e no easy to do suddenly like that. She can work out a plan, say over 6 months or 1 year to try and regulate things.  Because she's so busy, she may not have time to look for another job, that pays nearly as well BUT gives her more time for herself and family. Our people say if you don't leave JOHN HOLT, you won't know they're recruiting at UAC.

Wearing £500 lace and  riding a Hummer to church on Sunday (exaggeration) when overall quality of family life suffers, is long term not ideal.   We need to view the pursuit of wealth from different angles and see how it impacts on the pursuit of family happiness.

Abit lost. . poster dint write up da situation behind ds or

This issue is not as complicated as people make it seems. For the husband, if you want your wife home more often, get her a lesser demanding but still satisfactory job. For the wife, choosing your career over your family has always proven to be catastrophic in a marriage, even the busiest women in the world (e.g michelle obama and others) made time for their family.Unless you are the one responsible for the household finances, i suggest you take things easy. Forget about feminism, it always ends up bad, get closer to God and pray for guidance, communicate with your spouse, pour your heart out and also listen 2 him, let him know you are willing to yield to him, we men love when our wife communicates and respects our authority, cause the actual truth is, every holy book in the world gives man this authority, it's been so 4rm the beginning of time and a woman that disobeys the laws in the holy book is actually committing a sin. Think about what I've said and adjust, the end should always justify the means,