I met this beautiful girl sometimes two years ago. She's intelligent, smart and well mannered. I professed my love for her some two months into our friendship but she outrightly said NO.

I decided not to give up on her but to show her more love and care. As days went by, our friendship grew stronger, my love for her grew as well. Our life's goals are so similar that I find it very difficult to let her go.

I made sure I took the center stage in her life by doing everything necessary to help her build her dreams and its working perfectly.

I started showing her off on my social media handles just to test her reaction but contrary to my expectations, she loved it. I was proud that somehow I have perforated her defences.

Along the line, she started professing love to me too and that was the best moment of my emotional life. Then I decided to propose to her again but alas, she said NO and I was very sad and frustrated and she noticed it. At that point, I decided to give up on her and focus on other goals in life. She pleaded with me not to let our friendship die because she's afraid of losing me. I didn't bother to ask her for explanation on why I should still remain her friend without knowing where it will lead to in the end. I didn't also bother to ask her reasons for turning me down two times. I just agreed to her plea and ended the conversation.

I tactically started avoiding her to enable me heal but she would complain and plead with me to keep the friendship. I sucumbed because this girl has almost all the qualities I need in a wife and because of my standard, it's really difficult for me to find someone else that matches my preferences.

I know almost all her secrets and she knows mine too except my plans to travel abroad, preferably Canada. I made sure I did not let her know about this for some reasons.

Then, I found myself being obsessed with her again and she's been all over me too.

Now the crux of the matter is that I have perfected my plans to travel on or before February next year and I want to give her the last chance and propose to her again. I've conditioned my mind to accept whatever response she will give me and move on with or without her.

My major problem is whether to tell her about my travel plans before I propose to her or vice-versa. I know she also nurses the dream of living abroad. I'm afraid she might accept my proposal if I let her know about my Canada plans if I let her know about it before proposing to her.

Kindly advise me on this please cos I don't want to make any mistakes. I LOVE THIS GIRL and I'm certain that will make a good wife for me.

Don't be too in a hurry to be with her. If you know each other as well as you claim or if she loves you as much as you've described, she must have very strong reasons for turning down your proposal.

Find out that or those reason(s), this will determine if you'll need to even propose the second time.

Forced marriage...one reason of a broken home.

Romanoff:
Don't be too in a hurry to be with her. If you know each other as well as you claim or if she loves you as much as you've described, she must have very strong reasons for turning down your proposal.

Find out that or those reason(s), this will determine if you'll need to even propose the second time.

Thanks for your suggestion. I'm oblivious of her reasons but I tend to find out first before proceeding.

donbachi:
Forced marriage...one reason of a broken home.

No one is forcing anyone here sir. One has to clear all doubts so as not to regret in the future

don tell her anything just propose if she didn't not accept move with ur life

Abfinest007:
don tell her anything just propose if she didn't not accept move with ur life

Do you think it will influence her decision?

Spiritfun:


Thanks for your suggestion. I'm oblivious of her reasons but I tend to find out first before proceeding.

This is the first step you should take.

Spiritfun:


Do you think it will influence her decision?

yes bcuz she has plans of living outside d country

How can a man propose more than twice. It is either the girl has accepted you and don't wanna verbalize it. Nigerian girls are like that. Or you are on the waiting list, in case. However, be smart, you are going to Canada, it is not Naija, you will meet better girls as long as you are bettering yourself

Someone who is all over you but Yet, rejecting you Hmmm!

Then there must have been reasons. how about you find it out?

Perhaps, it's something that you can fix so you fix it and everything will be alright, then you propose.

or it's something that cannot be fixed and upon which her acceptance depends - meaning as long as that thing remains unfixed, she will not accept.

In that case, you find your way and look for soneone else and you will also be justified if you stop being friends with her especially if you've found another person to avoid stories that touch. because it's obvious you like her and she feels the same and there's no guarantee that something serious will not happen between you two if you stay so close together. And several problems may arise from there: Cheating on your spouse, she may get pregnant, you may find it hard to let go of her especially if you enjoyed the sex so your home begins to break, e.t.c.

Then, if you know she's the type that loves being abroad, Then do not tell her until after you have proposed. This way, you can be more assured that her acceptance is for real.

But if you tell her, even though her acceptance may be for real, you will constantly be sceptical and restless or afraid along the journey until maybe after she has given birth to 4 children and has hit menopause;

Any way, that's my advice.

Don't inform her yet about your plans to immigrate to Canada, that will definitely influence her marital decision.

Propose again for the last time this Yuletide and if she declines you just flow with the relationship. A day or two to your departure to Canada, call her for a discussion and tell her that your desire was to travel out together and spend a lifetime with her, but since you weren't "good enough" for her, you have decided to leave the country alone. That you were actually processing both your travel documents until she declined your marriage proposal the third time.

Tell her you pray she meets the type of man she desires. Wish her well and exit the scene.

And please, make sure that last meeting holds at a neutral place where there will be no room for intimacy, to avoid leaving a child behind (after nine months) on your quest for greener pastures.

I pray she says YES anyway!

You've asked twice, leave her alone. She isn't a baby to have rejected your proposal on two different occasions

Now, this is what you will do.

Tell her about your trip to Canada. But don't ask her out again. Just leave her.

Her reaction afterwards will make you know better. But never ask her out again. Twice is more than enough.

extremelygolden:
Don't inform her yet about your plans to immigrate to Canada, that will definitely influence her marital decision.

Propose again for the last time this Yuletide and if she declines you just flow with the relationship. A day or two to your departure to Canada, call her for a discussion and tell her that your desire was to travel out together and spend a lifetime with her, but since you weren't "good enough" for her, you have decided to leave the country alone. That you were actually processing both your travels documents until she declined your marriage proposal the third time.

Tell her you pray she meets the type of man she desires. Wish her well and exit the scene.

And please, make sure that last meeting holds at a neutral place where there will be no room for intimacy, to avoid leaving a child behind (after nine months) on your quest for greener pastures.

I pray she says YES anyway!

Your advice has sunk into my mind and I appreciate that. Let me state that our relationship has been pure platonic and I don't intend to do otherwise with her or any other fellow till the dowry is paid. That is my personal principle and I'm sticking to it 100%. I've really invested a lot of my mental, emotional, strategic resources on this girl so much that it hurts to see her go.

She's not financially demanding and I've not spent up to 20k on her since we started simply because she won't let me spend on her even when I'm willing to. Most times, she asks for loans and I give her but she will always pay back on time even when I am not ready to accept the money from her.

With your advice, I'll conceal my intention of traveling until the last proposal. Thanks

As a lady, I will tell you that this babe loved you already, could be that she's trying to test your patience level.

I bet you the reason she would give after trying to find out why she's been saying "no" is non-existence.

Lol.

You think she has the qualities you want in a wife.

She doesn’t think so of you.

Pot of beans.

If you influence her into saying yes by telling her your travel plans, you are building a house on sand.

She'll definitely say yes once she knows you traveling abroad. I may b wrong sha

ambivert27:
As a lady, I will tell you that this babe loved you already, could be that she's trying to test your patience level.

I bet you the reason she would give after trying to find out why she's been saying "no" is non-existence.

It's not in my nature to persist around a lady after the first attempt. The reason I can't let go is still beyond me and sometimes, I try to ask myself if I'm under a spell but believe me, I'm in charge of my thoughts.


Till date, if I don't call or chat her in a day, she will get angry and accuse me of not being caring. She obviously can't stay beyond a day without hearing from me and so do I but the reason she won't let us stick together forever in marriage is what baffles me the most.

I've done some background checks but can't see any serious man in her life except me coupled with the fact she shows me off on her social media handles.

Sometimes I've tried to woo two different girls but they reminded me of her and how much she flaunts me on Facebook and as a result they see my moves towards them as trying to get under their pants and zoom off.

If she truly needs me, she better accept this last proposal or forget me forever.

AfroKnight:
Lol.

You think she has the qualities you want in a wife.

She doesn’t think so of you.

Pot of beans.

If you influence her into saying yes by telling her your travel plans, you are building a house on sand.

I'm a very confident man! I go for what I want anytime. If she doesn't want me, I'll move on and never look back cos keeping her around will block potential friends

If you have a trusted girlfriend before traveling abroad, I suggest you hold her tight in whatever way you can.
A lot of us made that mistake of not doing so and we are still paying for that.

Ehhmmm I said trusted, don't forget that.

Spiritfun:


I'm a very confident man! I go for what I want anytime. If she doesn't want me, I'll move on and never look back cos keeping her around will block potential friends

Just don’t tell her your plans before proposing. If she says yes because of it, you won’t like what you will get o.

She will say yes when you tell her you want to travel abroad. Nigerian girls are not that faithful. She is keeping you as her side bae and not probably a back up plan. The reason she says no is because you are not good enough but if he sees that you are dangote's brother or you work in NNPC not to talk of going abroad she will jump at your offer before you make the proposal. That implies she will love a man going abroad and cannot love the man that is still in Nigeria but can only be a friend to him. You have to be patient and ask questions

extremelygolden:
Don't inform her yet about your plans to immigrate to Canada, that will definitely influence her marital decision.

Exactly!, there may be reasons she turned down ur proposals, perhaps she is betrothed to someone or something, so u telling her makes it difficult for her to give honest answers.
Pls don't tell her, propose to her and even if she says no, politely ask y, if it's something u two can discuss and iron out, and if she says yes, then congrats bro, u could as well ask y she turned down previous proposals.
Cheers

TOPCRUISE:
Foolish you. She will say yes when you tell her you want to travel abroad.

Must you comment insultingly. What happened to being polite?

Spiritfun:


Must you comment insultingly. What happened to being polite?

Apologies on that man. Wish you the best

TOPCRUISE:

Apologies on that man. Wish you the best

No worries

Wow to the frustration, waste and pains average guys go through.
Baffles my brain.



This is really very painful.

You are in the super friendzone and a gate guy can't wake up one morning and wants to be man of the house. It irritates the lady of the house.
Forget the flaunting... You are nothing but a bestie.

There is no Sexual attraction and she can't see herself submitting to a YES man.

I know there are a lot you didn't expressly state here. But I know, I just know.

Solution?
Breaking forth from this shackle is no mean feat. But it's not undoable.

You have to do the opposite of all that you have been doing! Starting with Ditching that wack idea of proposing again! Is there any different thing you want to say that she hasn't heard and turned down before?
Oh sure, you can of course buy her attention by swinging the bribe line of travelling, the way average guys do. But he who brings ant infested log to the homestead, must never complain when visited by lizards.


Grow some balls and Start ignoring. Cut chats, calls, visits and all.

Apply their principle on them:

Has a gurl asked to buy her something and you refused b4? How did she react?

Good, that is how u shld react now. You can't let her play with your emotions and you swallow it like a dunce.

henceforth, if she has the guts to shake the table, you take it a notch up by breaking it.
This is your only way forward. If she is really worth it.


On a final note,
How can you value sand when it is always available?


SENSE PILL:
Ladies Love Balls.

Abeg come and marry me jare...

Ginaz:
Abeg come and marry me jare...

LOL. I like bold lady like you

Better listen to HARDDON. Free her and go hustle. You will find others to 'love' in Canada.

Op you didn't state why she refused your approval, once you tell her you're traveling, she'd say yes.