MiddleDimension:


the first one, of course!

the second one: i still don't get it. well, i am not the one who can't live without sex. but if one begins to weaponise anything in a relationship, then that's not a romantic relationship anymore, that's a battle! if a battle or a game is what i want, i will not go into a relationship; i will join the military instead, or i will go into politics where 'games' are played. but i am not interested in 'games' or war, that's why i will never be a politician or a secret agent.

please note that it is not like i don't know how to play games, or wage war; infact, i am not affraid of that! and when i choose to do it, i will win.

but the point i am making is: why play hanky-panky when people can be simple, and honest thereby making their lives stress free.

MiddleDimension:


the second

shekauvsbuhari:
I will have to stop discussing with you bcs you like to read ons's post upside down in order to push forward your assumptions. I said de reason Y de relationship failed. It was her inability to decide on smthing outside sex. Yet you come to write rubbish to put out false information in order to try to win an arguement. I used to follow n respect u but I see U just have an ego dt U can even use falsehood to push ur opinions down people's throat.

NwaAmaikpe:




A woman must NEVER open the mouth given to her by God to ask her husband for sex unless she was married from a brothel.
Only a man does that.

As a husband, the day your wife opens her mouth to tell you that her kpekus is hungry should be the day you chase her out of your house because no responsible woman who was conceived from the sperm of an intelligent father and the egg of a decent mother does that.

It shows that she is a nympho. If she can beg you, then she can beg your friend too.

However, a woman who does not want to go through the hassles of begging her mother-in-law to help them draw up a Sex timetable can convey her preek cravings to her husband through non-verbal communication which is termed in BedRule 101 as TripleBL or 'Basic Bedroom Body Language'.

A decent wife who wants her husband's submarine to sojourn in her Bermuda Triangle can just spread her legs and plead with him to help examine a fictitious razor bump on the tip of her canal using his finger then gyrate her hips like the blades of a low-voltage powered blender while biting her lips like hard Suya as he does this.

Or she can roll from her end of the bed to his using his body as wedge but ensuring that either her Gluteus Maximus brushes against his 'Omenuko' or her mammary glands bumps into his hand each single time.

A real husband who truly thinks through his preek will react positively to either of these scenarios.

But the best bet for a stubborn husband who is unable to read the writings on the wall is to pray to God to send down the spirit of Conji to trouble him till he can sleep no more.

If all of these fails, she should masturbate or look for either a pastor, a neighbor, an ex-boyfriend or a colleague in whom she can 'confide' her sexual woes to.

Michellekabod2:
i think I agree with ubunja here. Sex is the only power a woman have over a man, that puts him in her control,if you are in charge of it(and not it being in charge of you) ,you have some power to yourself. When you sexual drive equates his,them you are no more a master or the one in charge of the sex,you are both slaves then.


The op used the word "husband" but I believe the chasing of a woman should continue after marriage.

PS:this is from my own lens,don't apply to everyone though. Things are really evolving fast. But I think you should heed to this if you aren't sure your spouse has evolved

ubunja:
it's manly. It's what men do. Its Masculine and erases the ladylike qualities of a woman.

Between a girl who is shy even to kiss you and a girl who sucks your dick anytime without fear, which one would you marry with confidence and without fear?

Omar09:


Shy one. God! I'd go for the shy one.

MiddleDimension:


the first one, if course!

the second one: i still don't get it. well, i am not the one who can't live without sex. but if one begins to weaponise anything in a relationship, then that's not a romantic relationship anymore, that's a battle! if a battle or a game is what i want, i will not go into a relationship; i will join the military instead, or i will go into politics where 'games' are played. but i am not interested in 'games' or war, that's why i will never be a politician or a secret agent.

please note that it is not like i don't know how to play games, or wage war; infact, i am not affraid of that! and when i choose to do it, i will win.

but the point i am making is: why play hanky-panky when people can be simple, and honest thereby making their lives stress free.

ubunja:
exactly.

Bad Boys and Players, the men who get plenty of sex always marry virgins and prudes. Because its the meeting of Masculinity and Femininity. Masculinity chases sex, Femininity does not.

Its the guys who rarely get sex, the Nice Guys who marry sluts and hoes. Because Nice Guys themselves are Feminine, while sluts and hoes are Masculine. Again, it's the meeting of Femininity and Masculinity. But in an opposite way.

The things I explained in my writeup: Nice Guys Are Sluts, Bad Boys Are Good Guys - https://www.nairaland.com/4950350/ubunjas-miseducation-nice-guys-sluts

jossy1luv:
If a woman cannot express herself to her husband, then who should she be free with?
We African pretend too much when it comes to sex and na we Dey do pass.

ubunja:
you are missing the point.

Let me explain it to you:

Edit:
In case you still can't understand,here's another way to look at it.

Between a straight woman who loves men and a lesbian who only sleeps with women, who will men pay MORE to sleep with?

The lesbian.

Why?

Because she doesn't like sex with men. This means when she has sex with men that sex HAS VALUE.

Why does it have value?

Because its an INCONVENIENCE TO HER. Whenever sex is an inconvenience or a disturbance or a disruption for a lady, then that sex has value. It becomes expensive because you have to make it worth her while. It has more value than a willing woman's sex.

ericsmith:




Nice one bro ! most of the things you said allign with my assertions cos i could easily relate with ur write up from my experiences, unto the lesbian instance you gave ..ofcus men would love to pay more to sleep with her out of curiousity & urge to reset her brain buh she is only gettin that attention once, men wil switch back to regular gurls once there curiousity as been satisfied.
Now to the comparism, a willing straight woman wil get regular cash from same guy on a long run more than a tomboy would.
lastly, @the emboldened , sex with a lady for the 1st time wil alway have value, n power is on the lady's side as well buh it ends after that 1st sex whatever a man do for a woman financially after seein her unclothedness is just out of love or self worth to massage his manly ego he can provide, can buttom power work over a man nt in luv
my fact tho : men value stress or love the chase pre- sex,

Cutehector:
Lucky is a man who meets a lady who is expressive in sex

Jodha:
Yes nah....

Touch him in the right places....seduce him

Jodha:


I see yhur point now....

Although i don't subscribe to this yhur philosophy...

I can demand for sex...and still make him want me like never before...

Peterosky:
.My brother you made a lot of sense here.I missed those days when one of my girl friends will call me and be very plain that she needs sex.Unfortunately, my wife is not that kind of person, just that my wife remain the best of all the girls I dated but sexually poor.
I no longer enjoy sex the way I used to when I was single. But being happily married is worth more than sexual pleasures.

shekauvsbuhari:
Well, I disagree with you on this.I like my woman asking me for sex when she needs it. I abhor pretences in sex. A woman givin me impression she doesnt want it makes me to lose interest. I like a woman who loves sex, only she should not be a sex vendor or promiscuous. I like my woman being raw, real n direct.

Cutehector:
yeah you made a lot of sense. Just that we can't have everything in life. Loose some, gain some

ubunja:
all the reason for women to close their legs if they want to go far with men..

Even a married woman can keep the chase alive. I used to wonder why trophy wives rationed sex for hubby but gave the pool boy unlimited sex. Even your husband must know he won't have sex on tap 24/7 if as a woman you intend to retain that power over him. But these things only work if the husband is the one who loves the woman like crazy. The man must be kept chasing till he goes to the grave.

When sex, or anything really, is freely given it will be taken for granted.

And a big slice of women who buy toys for sex are married women. It's not that their men can't satisfy them. But they know, there'll be days when they would have to deny men sex to prove a point or get their way. So to get their fix these women will turn to masturbation.

ubunja:
all the reason for women to close their legs if they want to go far with men..

Even a married woman can keep the chase alive. I used to wonder why trophy wives rationed sex for hubby but gave the pool boy unlimited sex. Even your husband must know he won't have sex on tap 24/7 if as a woman you intend to retain that power over him. But these things only work if the husband is the one who loves the woman like crazy. The man must be kept chasing till he goes to the grave.

When sex, or anything really, is freely given it will be taken for granted.

And a big slice of women who buy toys for sex are married women. It's not that their men can't satisfy them. But they know, there'll be days when they would have to deny men sex to prove a point or get their way. So to get their fix these women will turn to masturbation.

MiddleDimension:


all these things can't work with me!
the whole question about power is a huge turn of because it makes the point that it is a game.

the first bolded: it is a huge risk because he may become uninterested.
the second bolded: that's not true for everyone. i just recieved a pair of shoes from someone as a gift and i thanked him so much for it.
actually, it was just exactly what i was planning to buy but my finance didn't make it possible for me.

just to let you know i cannot relate to the things you have written up there.

ericsmith:




Lets project these things you say into reality, the way a gurl relate with a bf/financee/husband pre sex is different from how she open up n careless after sex. i expect you to know women lose there sense of pride around a man that as seen there unclothedness n mount dem as well ... infact this is where men got the derivative "once debe alway debe " aka okafor's law i.e once you've entered you can alway enter.
A married lady won't even listen to you, cos keeping d chase alive might disrupt her primary purpose in matrimony which is pro creation, women are materialistic tho buh nature also makes there womb topmost priority, almost every woman yean to be a mother ... so why wuld she be married n now start rationing are body, besides women are not woods stop making the sex thing look like it is for men only. God thot of procreation & sex after he created a woman, he saw loneliness not konji in man
@the embolded, most married women that buy Love Machine n toys its simply becos there hubby no longer find them attractive (80%) its not becos the women are rationalizing sex, the reality is sidechicks & mistresses have taken over there man. wives are conservative buh sidechicks understand men want a personalized LovePeddler, men love where they get happiness not nags.
You should know sex in marriages are not free, considering hw much men spend on weddin & bride price, a responsible man pays the rent & other xpenses related to the wife, even as BF if yu pay TF then that sex is not free.
my fact : the easiest way to get something from a man is making him happy 1st.

Peterosky:
.My brother you made a lot of sense here.I missed those days when one of my girl friends will call me and be very plain that she needs sex.Unfortunately, my wife is not that kind of person, just that my wife remain the best of all the girls I dated but sexually poor.
I no longer enjoy sex the way I used to when I was single. But being happily married is worth more than sexual pleasures.

ubunja:
you are missing the point.

Let me explain it to you:

This is a female advice thread. So the advice is to empower ladies. Not empower men. If the thread was for men, the advice I would have given is GUYS FIND A GIRL WHO LOVES SEX. Why? because its for your advantage as men if a woman loves sex. It weakens her power over you because she's a slave to sex the same way you're a slave to sex so there's no begging her for sex. Michellekabod2 explained that well to that other lady.

But then this is a thread for women sexual empowerment, so I can't give women advice that you are happy with because the advice is meant to take power from you and give it to them.

So chill. The advice is not for you. I hope you get me.

Edit:
In case you still can't understand,here's another way to look at it.

Between a straight woman who loves men and a lesbian who only sleeps with women, who will men pay MORE to sleep with?

The lesbian.

Why?

Because she doesn't like sex with men. This means when she has sex with men that sex HAS VALUE.

Why does it have value?

Because its an INCONVENIENCE TO HER. Whenever sex is an inconvenience or a disturbance or a disruption for a lady, then that sex has value. It becomes expensive because you have to make it worth her while. It has more value than a willing woman's sex.

Tyriq:
Madd I always wonder where and how you have all these infos

ubunja:
if "the easiest way to get something from a man is to make him happy first" then the side chicks would be married and the wives divorced. But Men's love follow their investment not their dick. With side chicks they're never invested that's why they'll never leave their wife. How many married men you know divorced their wife for a side chick? One in a million.

Since you've got the very basics very wrong your whole response is misinformed. I won't go after your points one by one because your understanding of the issues at hand is rather shallow. For example you talk of konji for women. But women don't marry for sex. That's what men do. And you're not aware that the vast majority of women don't even marry men who are their first choice in terms of sex appeal, but rather who looks like the best provider. A woman will marry a man without a dick if he is rich enough. Marriage is a business for women. Not for sex relief.

Stop beating yourself over my advice on this thread because it's not meant to make total sense to you but to take advantage of you as a man. Its for women.

ubunja:
like I'm telling women here; it's the women who are sexually reserved who get further with men and get the most from men. The girls who love sex will always be "my ex GF I miss" etc. Never the wife. Because men don't marry nymphos. Sure men enjoy dating nymphos for the easy sex, but come marriage, the opposite of nympho is Chosen and given the ring.
Its the same thing that happened with @shekauvsbuhari, and it happens with the great majority of men: Enjoy the sexually expressive GF but marry the sexually reserved Girl. Even though later to regret it. Still the sexually reserved girl has gotten more from men.

Its called the Madona-Wh0re Complex for any woman who wants to understand this phenomenon.

ericsmith:





LOL ! i think its time you come to terms with "nobody knows it all". let me open ur mind to the bigger picture. " the easiest way to get sumtin from humans is to make them happy 1st" i am so disappointed you undermine happiness to "sex".
teniola did not av to fvck dangote or otedola in a 3sum b4 she got huge money frm these men.
you say "Men marry 4 sex" like seriously my friend u don't know it all afterall, davido babymamas could av given him more sex styles than chioma buh he chose chioma, why do men not just marry pornstars or wives from brothels, strip clubs & lounge. Men marry 4 love, kids, companionship, parentsake and to look responsible within there society, of all the attributes a wife must av sex is the least cos the man is meant to groom the bride ..a derivative for "bridegroom"
Women marry for procreation cos there existence is centered around there womb clock ticking... business or financial needs is secondary, there are women who sponsor there own wedding, women marry 4 various frivolous reasons unlike men i don't want to go into that, 95% women won't settle 4 an impotent man except cheating is on d table stop stereotyping subjectively.
Men don't av to divorce there wives to bring in a mistress cos both av only one duty in comon buh diferent purposes,wife purpses fit in2 home.
God saw man was lonely, bin lonely as nuttin2 do with sex ... 4 woman he said thy "desire" shall b 4 thy man, can you segregate desire from sex.
Even the women you claim to speak for don't agree with you.. instead of seein everytin in life as game ..just know what to condone or not as a man same for women.

shekauvsbuhari:
To be honest with U ubunja, I never wanted to marry a sexualy reserved woman.I prefer de sexualy expressive one. What I am trying to let U know is that all of us cant have de same preferences.I see that in life most times I see myself goin against de norms. What U 'd call a non-conformist .

ubunja:
there you go. You answered your own question: Women marry for procreation.

Now, what's left is for you to then understand that procreational sex is not recreational sex. Then identify which gender wants which type of sex.

Once you have separated these two types of sex then go back to my point that marriage is a business for women.