Mrs.Chima:

As you can see my argument is THERE ARE NO DIFFERENCE between African, Jamo, Akata, and Islander sisters.  All of our ancestry came from Mother Africa. The underlining question with all this being said does Nigerian men find attraction in Jamo, Akata, and Islander sisters because of similarity to African sisters? 

queensmith:

black men arent very good at appreciating black women
. . .- hasty generalization

queensmith:
i dont see what the big deal about them is anyway, they are bloody useless!
and thats talkless of Nigerian men!

queensmith:
in fact, the more akatas islanders they pick up, the more beautiful island men available for yourselves!

olas2u:

we are all products of our environment ,and some of the Jamo,s are difficult to live with in the house.

@Topic: I wouldn't say that African men "love us" more it's just they have this false notion that we as foreign black women are liberal, freaky and expressive and they also believe they can tame us to be the "ideal African wife" who cooks, cleans and nurtures while also maintaining our s3xual freedoms (freaky/taboo s3x lol). The issue is that they fail to realize that there are Jamo and Akata women who are just as money hungry as some Nigerian women. Some of us western women do not have boundaries therefore we will do and say (as myself, carolece, ochungal, ms.eve and mrs.chima have demonstrated) anything and everything that goes against the "ideal wife".

I know being a Jamaican woman we believe in taking care of our men s3xually and by way of food however due to historical reasons and our geographical location we are a mix between our old African ways (standards) and the new age. Meaning we will do our "wifely duties" but also playing the role (and admiring) the stereotypical American black girl with the independence and stuck up attitude. This has caused a few problems with my exes most of which were African. So I do not support the "we western black women are better" bull.

I am not like most white girls who like to say "take better care of your man and he won't come to me" because I am woman enough to know that number one: a man will say ANYTHING to get in my pants even if it means to degrade women of his own nationality and two: ONLY an African woman can be that perfect match to an African man culturally. This is not to say that we "across the Atlantic couples" are not compatible the same it's just culturally African women understand African men more and deserve the respect. As for the hype, yes, I do enjoy being that exotic couple: Jamo babe and African stud however I know what's up! It's all about personality and I for one cannot and will not approve of an African man who wishes to "court me" and is willing to bad mouth African women in the process, I think it's low.

MzD@rkSkin:

Explain please. . .

I am not like most white girls who like to say "take better care of your man and he won't come to me" because I am woman enough to know that number one: a man will say ANYTHING to get in my pants even if it means to degrade women of his own nationality and two: ONLY an African woman can be that perfect match to an African man culturally. This is not to say that we "across the Atlantic couples" are not compatible the same it's just culturally African women understand African men more and deserve the respect. As for the hype, yes, I do enjoy being that exotic couple: Jamo babe and African stud however I know what's up! It's all about personality and I for one cannot and will not approve of an African man who wishes to "court me" and is willing to bad mouth African women in the process, I think it's low. [/color]

190:

Relationships really grow daily,
but honey i still want you to know something that african women perfectly match african men cos they
share the same cultural background is all wrong~
anyway im out leaving you to do your thing~

& How is that 190? I mean would you rather have an African lady who is willing to please her man plue know the "ropes" or an Akata/Jamo that you have to argue with, HOPEFULLY CONQUER/ and TEACH how to be like the African woman you have over looked?

To all my Jamo/Akata sisters I am not putting us down, we are just as good of a choice, I am trying to get into the head of these men and see what it is that they are thinking because as much as it is nice to be adored as the foreign black chick, it is not exactly cool to be "chosen" solely because of that fact. (if when he argues with you and yells "You are NO different from African woman", then you'd know what I am trying to avoid)

MOBO444:

@ Poster i have been watching you for some time now and see how you disregard Nigeria men anyhow.

Kadata:

hasty generalization

Kadata:

Yeah, that's true. Wouldn't settle for less. . .why would I be useful to such??

Who said there are no teenage pregnancy among Naija girls/women? high abortion rate?

Naija men are attracted to these women because they are not frigid and they are expressive, independent not stuck up with pretense

Kadata:

it is quite obvious that the Akata women have a more liberal expression of their sexuality than their Nigerian counterparts. Cause to this is the liberal nature of their society unlike the Nigerian society where women are bound by 'virtual regulations' .
Some Nigerian men find 'liberality of expression' in women as a compelling trait for reasons best known to male sexuality- of which the Nigerian society clearly inhibits.

Jenifa_:

to me, it's more about values. What would it benefit us if we became more "sexually expressive" and "less frigid" like akatas? [/b]won't it just lead it us becoming single moms and baby mamas like them?

Mrs.Chima:

Okay. Now that we employed different words, what are your thoughts on my question I asked you? Do you think African society expressed vast emphasis on African women to be less expressive and proactive?

Jenifa_:

where do you live?
Nigerian women abroad definitely do not have high unmarried pregnancy rates and children outside of marriage.
if they are aborting any babies, well good riddance.

to me, it's more about values. What would it benefit us if we became more "sexually expressive" and "less frigid" like akatas? won't it just lead it us becoming single moms and [size=18pt]baby mamas[/size] like them?

Kadata sums it up best:

men are simply more attracted to the girls they have the best shot at sleeping with and knocking up. lol

190:


Like i said im leaving you to do your thang!
But what i do know is every thing boils down to personality
Nigerian men are certainly not stuck up with just our women
we love variaties and where we find love we stay,

While growing up,It was one of my dreams to date a white lady but
as i grew up that dream died cos i started seeing not just the good sides of white women
but the bad and their skin totally almost makes me Puke alongside their attitude of not taking
regular bath's,

Today i certainly dont see myself with anything white close to me not cos of hatred but cos i feel complete with
a black woman ( I certainly dont need to know where shes from but as long as she gat that respect and fully
gives me the attention i need and always remembers that i am HER MAN then things would definately work)
and lastly in regards to why nigerian men are attracted to the women listed in your discussion, I feel its cos most dudes
these days are certainly tired of the Issues Nigerian women give us this days,

The last thing at the back of my mind (men) is for women to disorganize their lives and when Nigerian women start
with their attitude,fights,issues and everything, its not easy to tame her down,im not trying to write off the nigerian women
cos they certainly seem 2 have the key to their men (i.e if that man has a key hole) but to me all women are the same the only
difference in them is their personality~

Kadata:

please, you just have to spot a causal explanation from recommendation. The OP was seeking an explanation as to why some Nigerian men find some akatas attractive. I did just that. I never recommended the seemingly 'loose' attitude that characterizes any race whatsoever.  Personally, I don't involve myself with anybody with[b] loose[/b] morals. And I appreciate most of our African sisters for this.

MzD@rkSkin:

This is the SECOND time you have said something shysty about us. You have a problem with akatas? (I am half "Akata", and extremely offended by that line). You ever ask yourself the role the men play in their lives? what makes them have to endure such treatment and predicaments? Let's not get ignorant on here because the last time I checked neither myself or Chima came on here to start a cyber beef with Naija women or bring up stereotypes. I knew plenty of African women who are single (some WELL into their 30's-40's) and some who are single mothers - believe it or not a couple of them are Nigerian, it's not so much their fault but things happen, and I don't judge them, rather I respect them for taking care of their business.

queensmith:

Jenifer are u talking about Nigerian women in western countries? Because they are the ones adding to the large numbers!

They do have children outside wedlock, children for different men, and underage pregnancies

a high percentage of the black women on benefits are nigerian
there are ALOT of single nigerian mothers outside of nigeria!

Again the sexual frigidity most of these men describe is not just sex, the fact that women abroad (that includes nigerians) may be able to ty things your average nigerian girl wont be comfortable with. So it has nothing to do with any race being 'loose' nigerian women are equally as 'loose' married or otherwise.

and i dont even get why nigerian men like to lament about women being frigid! they are the most sexually frigid group of men I have ever seen!

Okay.  Now that we employed different words, what are your thoughts on my question I asked you?  Do you think African society expressed vast emphasis on African women to be less expressive and proactive? 

Jenifa_:

@mrs chima,

I agree with your last sentence. I think black women are some of the strongest in the world (especially outside of africa) in terms of preserving the family.
I was reading the news in haiti (fertility rate tripled since the earthquake. partially due to despoils after the earthquake) and just wondering how these women survive this.