johnterry1:


mumu,jennykadry has adviced u to go get a man to treat like a woman u are not.she also said that u shld knw dat your body is depreciating .all thanks to gravity.go get your man and go psycho like jennykadry

e concern you, eh? My depreciating body and falling parts are well taken care of thank you!

Now run along . . .

@unsure girl
Meri maa, tum meri hindi ki baat choddo.bas yehi socho ke meine kuch saal tumhari desh mein bitaya.bhagwan ke liye in logon ke saamne apni desh ko neeche math dikhao. Kam se kam yeh to socho ki mein tere liye ( shuru tho tere liye hua, lekin ab kisee aur ke liye) yahan pe in pagal auraton ke saath led rahi hoon.Ek paagal aurat ne teri maa ko gaali diya aur tum chup betein ho,

@ BB
Get a life, will you ? With this attitude forget being 'born again', even if your mother born you again you will not reach anywhere, supporting a gutter mouth to abuse your fellow women, from being man less to childless  to what not, then justifying it. next time 'baby' goes to church, make sure you confess your sins inpublic lest you want to be the one being tagged as childless and hubbyless !!!

Btw, how much does JK pay your for defending her ? Or does she send someone over (no wonder you got so miffed earlier) to service you   BTW who on earth told you I'm a woman , you rat??

naijafrend:

@unsure girl
Meri maa, tum meri hindi ki baat choddo.bas yehi socho ke meine kuch saal tumhari desh mein bitaya.bhagwan ke liye in logon ke saamne apni desh ko neeche math dikhao. Kam se kam yeh to socho ki mein tere liye ( shuru tho tere liye hua, lekin ab kisee aur ke liye) yahan pe in pagal auraton ke saath led rahi hoon.Ek paagal aurat ne teri maa ko gaali diya aur tum chup betein ho,

Seriously, itni achchi hindi, tum nigerian ho ya from some place else?
And vaise bhi, except JK and genius, something something, sabhi log normal hi hain, ek do pagal toh drama karne ke liye chahiye,
Agar sab ko JK ki baatein galat lagti hain, and phir bhi usse nahi samajh aata then may god bless,

@ unsure girl

Arrey yehi to is jagahan ka sabse acchi baat hai. Ek doosere ko gaali dena . Agar tumhe lagta hai ki main yahan ki rehne wali nahi hoon, then let it be Chalo itna to pata chala ki teri problem ko kuch tho solution mila. Ab sab teri haath mein hain.meri maan sab teekh ho jaayega, been there done that. isi liya toh keh rahi ho.shuru shuru mein yeh sab ke sat hote hain. baad mein tumhe kuch toh kahani chahiye na, apne bacchon se kehne ke liye

Thanks, I hope that you are right

naijafrend:


@ BB
Get a life, will you ? With this attitude forget being 'born again', even if your mother born you again you will not reach anywhere, supporting a gutter mouth to abuse your fellow women, from being man less to childless  to what not, then justifying it. next time 'baby' goes to church, make sure you confess your sins inpublic lest you want to be the one being tagged as childless and hubbyless !!!

Btw, how much does JK pay your for defending her ? Or does she send someone over (no wonder you got so miffed earlier) to service you   BTW who on earth told you I'm a woman , you rat??

As the "starters" to the avalanche of menu of abuse you have been promising to unleash on me, that is limp, lame, dry and dull, and leaves a sore taste in my mouth, hope the "main course" comes packed with a punch so you would not have to bother soiling your effeminate hands conjuring up the "desserts", otherwise start looking for that knicker like I said Arrant nonsense of a timewaster, getting me all shook up for nowt, arrggghhhh


Oh so you be man Now i feel so sorry and wish i could take it all back I mean I understand women frothing at the mouth because of the too many clashing hormones we are saddled with, but for a man like you to have uncontolable verbal diarrhoea Houston we have a problem What went wrong, it must suck to be you, from now on i will go easy on you and will only pity you, care to share, this bleeding heart wants to know not

@ JK, thanks 4 d well wishes. My husband and I will be just fine. I re-read everything. U started by calling her an animal n den she called u "mama mmadu" and u talked of her childless state, and she talked of u being an unfit mum and wife, etc. Not putting d cart b4 d horse, u started it. Its like d original poster obsessing over d slap while glossing over her part dat led up 2 it.

I feel u r obsessing over the "mama mmadu" she called u. U mis-interpreted it 2 mean she was calling ur parenting skills into question. At dat point, she was calling u "an agbaya" as in ur too old 2 be engaging in such acts. Such an "insult" can be used on someone dat is not even married just as I highlighted above.

All these is neither here nor dere. U av said d last words, Ivy is no longer responding, can it all end, pls?

@ BB

Ah, this woman dey craze, na mad dog bite you When I asked you who on earth told you I'm a woman , you just confirmed I'm a man !!! Such a foolish pig! na wa o!
With all those fluctuating hormones like you have admitted, you are nowhere going near a child, let alone having one

@ BB
dont waste your time to reply, i'm just bored with you, you are no match for me, seriously, as you've admitted it yourself, you are just a BABY who thinks she is big enough to take the whole world on her own, thtz what you are a silly little creature ! Shooooo, go look out for someone of your own size !

blank:

@ JK, thanks 4 d well wishes. My husband and I will be just fine. I re-read everything. U started by calling her an animal n den she called u "mama mmadu" and u talked of her childless state, and she talked of u being an unfit mum and wife, etc. Not putting d cart b4 d horse, u started it. Its like d original poster obsessing over d slap while glossing over her part dat led up 2 it.

I feel u r obsessing over the "mama mmadu" she called u. U mis-interpreted it 2 mean she was calling your parenting skills into question. At dat point, she was calling u "an agbaya" as in your too old 2 be engaging in such acts. Such an "insult" can be used on someone dat is not even married just as I highlighted above.

All these is neither here nor dere. U av said d last words, Ivy is no longer responding, can it all end, pls?  

Arrrggg for heaven's sake I have told you to have a kid first before you come on here and start talking poo. Seriously do you think we are in some "who says the last words or not"  competition .

How can I be obsessed with mama nmadu?seriously why should I be obsessed? even ivynwa at her age is way when I mean years I mean years older than me so why should mama nmadu bother me?You just don't get it.


This is my last reply to you

Unu nile neediri "amu" kara aka _{including me}

unsuregirl:

After a few days of a cool down time and some thinking, we have finally talked our issues out and we have settled on seeing a counsellor so that we can tackle the problems and temper issues,
I guess a marriage deserves atleast one sincere shot,  And marriage or no marriage, counselling is a must for both of us right now so that we can stop being as toxic as we both have become ever since we began to live under one roof, 
So, thanks to some of you whose words mattered and who took interest in my posts!

Goodnews.
I wish u the best,u and your hubby.

@unsuregirl hello,sorry about all d YABS uve bin reciving 4rm FOOLS like jennykadry . i cld not help but post dis when i read all d trash she has bin writing but not 2 worry its quite obvious she is a FUSTRATED MARRIED WOMAN who is trying 2 put up a front as though she's got d best marriage . bk 2 u i love d path uve taken its beta 2 work d kinks out while ur marriage is still young my sister has bin married 4 5yrs now and still feels sexually fustrated in her marriage and 2 annoy her more d husbands behaves like God's gift 2 women and carrys gals around ,i know a lot of pple is gonna critise me 4 ds but i told her 2 go laid cos i was so mad at d bastard but d tin is dis she can't continue like dt in d marriage.
men are really not ready 2 take sex advice 4rm women cos dey feel dey are  MAN and sjld bi in control.my point being dis pls do try and work things out with ur man bi careful not 2 get preg yet and if things do not work out bi ready 2 run very fast away from d marriage so u do not end up bcoming a sexually fustrated wife or end up getting involved with several men
African women have bin brainwashed in2 believing dy shld take all crap thrown at dm by men dy beat u,humiliate u do not pay d bills give u HERPS or whatever infection dy can doll out and still expect respect BULLSHIT.
NAIRALANDERS am expecting daggers bring it on .d beta our women start tinkin wit dr head not dr ass dy beginn 2 get d respect dy deserve
adios

^^^ why are you expecting daggers. To each his/her own. If anything works for you, go ahead. As you lay your bed, so shall you lie on it.

ifyalways:

Unu nile neediri "amu" kara aka _{including me}

Hahahahahaha. Abi ooo! This Ify. . . .sef!

Well, sex is not the only problem, it is the last problem, the main problem is his anger as he usually twists my arm whenever he is angry and thats a pattern, sometimes he hits me when he is angry, not in a manner that might bruise me but its humiliating nonetheless. And he is angry whenever i complain for a long time and try to argue for long time (say more than half an hour),  long accusations make him so angry that he loses all control

You have to STOP nagging. All men hate it! Just grow up my dear, this is marriage; 'tis no longer boyfriend and girlfriend kind of relationship.

unsuregirl:

This is not my place to interfere but just a small suggestion - why don't u guys take up a new thread to discuss the glories of JK. Thankful as I am to some of you for having rightly pointed out things to a girl like me from another land, now you are sending wrong signals about the Nigerian Spirit to people from a foreign culture.  
Now everyone should kiss and make up,  your posts are just full of verbal abuses and unless this is a common thing in nairaland (in which case, I just graciously step aside as I am an outsider) , just try to stop it,

@ Unsuregirl ; Yes, it is a common thing in Nairaland. It'll all blow over in a few hours. Right now everyone is just sharpening their claws. 

jennykadry:

And you are so blind that you did not notice that same "someone" questioned her fellow "woman's ability as a mother" ?

You and your husband are newly weds right? I wish you well with having kids, and I pray God blesses you with both male and female or gives it to you as you want, you know why I am praying this prayer for you? because I know when you have kid/kids you will be able to define the word "callous" properly when your motherhood is been questioned by an eediot

Unfortunately I don't have the time to quote what you said towards me being just a 19 year old and that I should wait to get married and have children first before I talk. But i really wanted to ask, why do all your insults revolve around motherhood and marriage and children? We can talk to each other on an equal footing without bringing up their married or unmarried life. 
  As far as you and Ivynwa are concerned, it seems like you actually did start the fight. Initially, I thought the comment about an animal epistle writer was directed at someone else, but Ivynwa was the only poster who actually wrote what could be called an epistle. I'm still wondering why you had to call her an animal , though, especially since she wasn't talking to you. Anyway, BB says the two of you opened a thread to insult each other, so you guys can thrash it out on your own.
What I am concerned about is the fact that you chose to insult someone who didn't really deserve half of the insults you heaped on her. Even if you weren't happy with the fact that the advice you gave didn't seem to sink in, you should at least have left her to her business instead of insulting her intelligence.
And for your information, I was 19 a year ago. And I don't need to get married and have kids before I understand the difference between right and wrong.

***grabs popcorn. Damn I missed most of the movie already****

He hits you and has a history if being physically abusive. Next time you feel like nagging he might just break your head. I say you need to leave that situation until he learns to behave like a human being. If you guys go to church then I suggest you get some counseling either through church or a professional. You husband needs to take anger management classes and I hope those come with a daily butt whooping. The fact that you say it is humiliating for you shows that you are being abused mentally and physically. I feel sorry for you. You should not feel that way with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

+1

Quote from: harakiri on January 18, 2011, 08:41 PM
See dem. Yeye feminazi wanna be's. He's now the abusive one abi? I'm pretty sure your petty biased and vindictive mind didn't comprehend when she actually mentioned shaking him up and KICKING him! Who's abusing who? Would the guy have gotten physical if she didn't start it all up in the first place? This is how a guy (not a close pal of mine though) used to be physically assaulted by his wife (now ex-wife). It started like this (small hitting and squabbles) every now and then and within 3 years of marriage, she was already bold enough to slap him several times in public in full view of everyone. Heaven knows how many times he couldn't make it to work because his wife had him in a grip vice at home. How many times did he have his shirt torn to shreds? How many times did he try counselling through church and family members? How many times did he hold "sit down" talks that led to no where? But the day he finally retaliated by showing her that she's not the only one who knows how to slap. . .he automatically became "an abusive misogynist husband" who "abused" the wife mentally and physically. . .lol

Useless yeye things. The truth is, once a woman starts getting physical, sooner or later it will become the norm until the man evens up the equation and then, he becomes the "bad evil man" who can't fight his mate on the street except his wife at home.

Hypocrites! ! !


Listen id iot. It is obvious that you are a woman beater. My prayer is that you meet the one that beats the crap out of you and then feeds it to you. She mentioned that he twisted her arm and then she kicked him. Did you miss that? I am sure twisting her arm is the same as pre-intimacy to you. She had every right to defend herself. If in your opinion a woman who defends herself is a feminist then I think every woman should be a feminists. The problem with abusive people like you is that you can never hide your true colors. A woman saying she kicked a man after he assaulted her gets your blood boiling. So tell me, how many have you hit? Does it make you feel manly that you slapped a woman around. Does it make you feel in charge? You really sound juvenile. At best you are an abusive, ignorant n-word that has probably been locked up a few times for beating his wife. If you haven't been locked up for spousal abuse it's only because she has been too afraid to call the police on your a ss. I bet you probably beat her up and claim that she made you do it. She provoked you. She nagged you so much you lost your cool. You woke up one morning and you realized she was ugly. She looked at you funny. YOU ARE NOT A MAN. You are simply a creature with a peni s. Nothing special about you. You do not deserve anybody's sister, daughter, or loved one. You should be with another man who is big and bad enough to whip you into submission.

*applauds*

See all these fine girls fighting over me?

Am I not Gods gift to women?

answer:




No

Thanks everyone for their advice,  Though everyone has been supprotive here, there is still one thing that I need to clarify,  If I had even an iota of a thought that I was nowhere at fault then the situation would not have been confusing the hell out of me as I mentioned in the first line of my previous post. I do realize that I should have acted in a more mature manner and the only reason I acted the way I did was out of utter sexual frustration and an extreme sense of loyalty towards him. I told him plenty of times that night that I want nothing more than him right now. And no matter how tired or sleepy he was, I am still not able to justify his slap.
It has been more than 24 hours now and if I feel anything, its worse only. Neither did he think of apologizing for the slap. He believes it was correct and I provoked him into it. Well, I can't agree. I don't want to talk to him or touch him or look at him. I am not just angry but tired, exhausted, humiliated and sad because I made a mistake by letting him go away it the first time when he twisted my arm, which was on our honeymoon. And that was the only time he had apologized for being physically abusive.
Had anyone else posted such a situation here, I never would have thought that they deserved to be slapped. Nobody deserves that unless they slap someone first. And ya, the same night when he slapped me, I went into the room after half an hour and slapped him. I am not a goddess. I don't want to be one.

both of you would benefit from anger management, because this is insane. marriage is hard enough as it is, but if both people have trouble keeping their hands to themselves, they have a long way to go.

Respect is reciprocal you know . . . in this case, to get his respect, you have to respect him first. I have learnt, from the wonderful people in this forum and from my personal experience, that the best way to get a man's respect is to give him his first!

I used to be like you you know, but I now know that I could never enter into a marriage with that kind of mentality. I once argued vigorously on this forum that I could never greet my husband 'Good morning' . . . but now, I know I'll even put 'sir' sef if that's what he wants!

Once marriage is in the picture, the whole things changes. Now that he's your husband, he expects you to defer to him, at least to a some extent . . . that's probably why your fights started after you got married.

Now I'm not saying it's all your fault, he has a lot to learn himself. He was 100% wrong to twist your arm, no matter what! Bullying a woman is NOT going to make her respect you.

Your marriage is NOT a mistake my dear, your mistake is in your views about it. You have high expectations and so does he. Don't expect that for the fact that he said 'I do' to you, he's above hurting you. He's human afterall, and is bound to make mistakes. You two have to sit down together and talk this thing through.

I'd advice you guys to visit a marriage counselor if you can but most especially, I'll advice you to listen to some of the advice you are getting here on this thread. These people (men and women) are talking from years of experience and there's nothing you are facing now that they've not faced at one point or the other.

If you give up now, then be prepared to regret it for the rest of your life. Please, I beg you, don't move out . . . take a chance and try and work things out with your husband!

if domestic abuse really is not the issue-the OP started her thread with an emphasis on that, but now i'm not sure if that was ever the case at all-then you really need to take this advice. both of you have serious work to do, and if you are both willing to do the work, HUMBLY, then it's a start. good luck.

neither one of you is nigerian?
@OP, I don't mean any harm, but why did you post this question in NL then?
i think i'm sorry i even started reading this thread. now i can't stop. SMH.

LOL @iyineda. i wish i had done the same.

Where was I when all these were going on?

@ Iyalode BB,

E ku ise. Dont worry you will soon grow and become matured like me, then you can preach more powerful sermons like me, but you need to see me for some special anointing classes

@Jenny,

oya come inside for some koboko, it's been a while. I will continue to give you plenty yekini koboko, until you learn to dilute the truth. Who want concentrated truth these days? You must change by force by fire

@ Ivy, Iya basira, Johnterry, naijafriend and others

Please let there be peace

@OP
Am happy for you. Please save your marriage. It worths all the efforts.

@All that think "they are trying to talk some sense into me" are seriously and honestly wasting their time as una talk e enter one ear the next thing na to comot from the other

@Dayo

egbe enu'e dake jare ta lo'n je Gods gift to women? the last time I checked you out no be say your yekini fit even reach a woman's canaan land


@OAM4J
Me dilute the truth? for where, you too carry ya yekini come hiaaa jare the weather is too cold for long talks

@Ify

ifyalways:

Unu nile neediri "amu" kara aka _{including me}
Goodnews.

Mu'wa eri'go kwa nke'm dis morning, nothing me' ga

//

chaircover:

I am abroad and so havent been on here for a for a few days and  have only just seen this thread.

Ladies & Gents please let us all take a deep breath and count to ten.

This was and is still one of the best sections on NL. This is the section where we show the rest of them how its done. This is a section where so many people gain a lot from. I receive lots of emails offline so I know that there are lots of silent visitors who visit and benefit from this section.

Bottomline is that we are all different,  however  I want us to all agree on something which is that one thing should remain constant and that is love and repsect for our neighbours.

Truth be told, I am sure that there are a thousand and one other things that we could all be doing, but I know that we all care in our own little way and that is why we are here

What I am appealing for is that love and respect to previal now and we all call a truce, Lets forgive each other, put this matter to bed and we all move on.

I will categorically say that I visit here to read what you've got to say. Very informative and I am not even trying to patronize you at all.
Sensible stuff and realistic views on marital issues and likes. Keep at it Ma'am

dayokanu:

See all these fine girls fighting over me?

Am I not Gods gift to women?

Which girls?you wish

unsuregirl, my word for u is u are immature, u need to find a corner, sit there and suck ur thumb, ur right thumb.