My dear stop nagging the man and therefore putting yourself in such derogatory positions, Your husband does not sound like a wife beater but like a person who is just trying to swat a fly or a bee out of his way,

Lol some people are busy writing long epistles here for people that really don't care if an animal(the epistle writers) exists

lol, u r right

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He-he the epistle was indeed long yet heart warming and it's nice to know that some name-calling ones took the time to read the sweet epistle and take the message therein, little wonder it struck a cord and made them stoop lower to calling their fellow beings "animals".  I can't believe that one can still act this unrefined, raw and undiluted in this age and time and a lady at that, whoops!
Anyway let me not be dragged down that low. The epistle sure is a lot more benefitting than the insensitive remarks, abuse and insults of a full blooded woman that calls herself mama mmadu (mother with kids) and goes about obodo naira with careless remarks in the name of being fearless and speaking the truth, Alleluiah somebody! Somebody praise the Lord for me right now, glory to God!     

Friend quit going about nairaland looking for fight, quarrelling, abusing and hurting people. There are nice ways to speak the truth raw and undiluted while respecting and being sensitive to the hurting hearts of other people. It seems everybody has known that reputation long before I am beginning to realize it which is why nobody is mentioning it, I just spelt it out without minding that the classless weight is about to be thrown upon me (or has already even been) because I know that more unprintable names may soon be directed at me but you know what I don't give a damn girlfriend. An unhappy foreign woman comes here to seek advice and consolation, is here spilling her unhappiness and she is getting booed that she is begging for sex, what manner of adult displays such behaviour?

Who made her the quarelsome queen of nairaland or did she enthrone herself people?? Some Queen indeed!!


@Poster
Girl I hope you have mustered all the sweetness in you to make peace between you and your husband dearie, please do okay.

Simply put, u seem to be a woman who can make a man commit murder. Just so u know, even d most gentle person can lose his temper when provoked and pushed to d wall. U pushed ur husband to d wall and u av to change ur attitude if u want to remain in dat marriage.

@ Ifyalways
My sista,I never knew you were a marriage counsellor/love doctor,a good one at that

I am a woman and i think that the original poster deserves what she got. From her version of events, she was the one who was abusive first by shaking her husband awake and nagging him to try to make love even though she knew he was tired and that led to his being humiliated by not being able to have an erection, hence his anger and her kicking him and on and on.

Having said that, i think both of them REALLY NEED TO GROW UP! For God´s sake!!!!!!!! What was that about using her phone to call her family and friends and then hanging up without saying a word?  For hours! Just because a man has an argument with his wife, he resorts to kindergarten pranks? You both need psychological and psychiatric help ASAP. By the poster´s admission, she is a nagger too, OFTEN FOR AS LONG AS 30 MINUTES! Hard to determine who needs more pity between the two. But i´d say the man has the shorter end of the stick. No one likes a nagger.


Besides, you slapped him back 30 minutes later so what is your complaint now?

naijangel7:

I am a woman and i think that the original poster deserves what she got. From her version of events, she was the one who was abusive first by shaking her husband awake and nagging him to try to make love even though she knew he was tired and that led to his being humiliated by not being able to have an erection, hence his anger and her kicking him and on and on.

Okay, as a woman, it is acceptable to have to beg your Husband nicely, every bleeding day of the two months you have been married to him, so that he would not be humiliated and loose his e/r/e/c/t/i/o/n, wow 'em Stepford wives ain't gat nada on you, keep it up

aloy/emeka:

Duh, didn't she say it herself that she forced sex on him?. Isn't that ra*pe?. Which sin is greater in this scenario: slapping around or ra*pe?. The only sin in my book that is more than ra*pe is murder. Apparently, you didn't notice the area where she hit him too.  If you hit and ra*pe  your man, I will not hesitate to advise him to twist your NECK and not simply twisting arm. It is because he twists only  her arms that she repeatedly hit and ra*pe him. Mr man, next time, twist her neck or pull the trigger and watch her respect her ugly behind. You think that hitting and ra*ping men is alright or what?. Nonsense.

Dude, what did she say happened after hours of cajoling him to no avail, which led to her having to kick out in frustration No be slap she talk say she chop, where did you seev her say he gave in to her command, afterall it is still there in the first post



@ Pro01

Abeg loose the bragaddocious testerone whacchummacallit abeg, a so called man should/would not lift a finger to a woman, it is just wrong, that is why they are called the weaker sex  


@ Jenny and Ivy, the two of you should go and get laid pronto Oya what is the name of the dude, let me go and be attending to the poor and perplexed chap's needs and prep him up for you two, whilst you two work on the rota of how you are going to share him, i will bring him back i promise

//

Busy_body:

Okay, as a woman, it is acceptable to have to beg your Husband nicely, every bleeding day of the two months you have been married to him, so that he would not be humiliated and loose his e/r/e/c/t/i/o/n, wow 'em Stepford wives ain't gat nada on you, keep it up

Busybody, where have i said she should beg him for anything? For pardon, for sex or what do you mean? And where did i say begging would keep him from being humiliated and assist him to have an erection? Looks like you just quoted my comment and went on talking about someone else´s comment. You can reserve your stepford wives comment for yourself until after you read my last post properly.

I just don't get it when some women say their man should never hit them 'no matter what'. That is just ridiculous. Every human being has a breaking/boiling point. Aggravating a man with all sorts of despicable behaviour, nagging and verbal abuse and expecting him to remain 'mature' and 'calm', no matter what you do or say to him is impossibly idiotic and selfish. It's easy to say in theory that a man shouldn't hit a lady, true. But a lady has to behave like a lady. No true lady ever puts herself in a position to frustrate a man into physical violence and thats the plain truth. Except a woman has the misfortune of living with a brute who derives sadistic pleasure in beating her for no reason at all, then more often than not acts of wife-battering are due to the woman's sheer stupidity and insufferable behaviour. Even the Bible says that a kind word tames even the heart of brutes while harsh words bring wrath. A wise wife would never earn a slap from her husband because she knows exactly how to pass her message across and get what she wants without abusing her husband verbally, psychologically and mentally - thereby frustrating him into responding in a manner that he wouldn't have ordinarily.

Lesson: never ever abuse your man verbally/psychologically/mentally or frustrate him with your implacability. If you insist on doing that then the slaps and physical abuse you might receive in return, while not necessarily justified, would be well deserved.

@Pro01, my point exactly. No couple with mutual respect would treat themselves and each other the way this couple does.  If i was married (God forbid) to a man who nags for upwards of 30 minutes and would not try to understand that i might be too tired for sex sometimes, i might one day have to slap some sense into him lol 

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@unsuregirl

Just a few questions:

How old are you now and how old were you before you started dating your husband for 5 years?
What was the nature of the dating: Intimate or platonic?
What was your communication like when you were dating?

Try and answer these questions and a lot will become clear to you.  
No matter how old you are, you need some growing up. Age is a number that does not always determine the level of ones maturity.
You need to remember too that you are now a wife and not a girlfriend.  There are tremendous differences between these two.  You will need to discover these differences quick for they will instruct you on how a wife should act.

Peace!

Nothing worse than a partner who cant satisfy you.  The line you said about him cumming easily killed it for me.   Rubbish you only just got married you should be shagging till neither of you can walk.  I dont want to hear the Im tired crap when he never hits the spot (or even tries) in the first place.  

He will break both your arms if you dare tell him sex with him is s h i  t.  But its not the end he can still learn.  If you have to keep asking for sex I suggest you stop and see what happens.  For his next birthday buy him a copy of the karma sutra  

@unsuregirl

First, you should not have brought this issue to the public e.g Nairaland. I'm tempted to think that you've been seeking advice from "friends" already. I wonder if you've asked yourself if the enemy of your marriage is you instead of looking to blame your hubby. Take responsibility for your actions.

You mentioned something which I consider silly - about your hubby going for anger management therapy. Why don't you go instead for tongue management therapy.

Pray for healing, not your own version or type of healing but God's. Try to see things from his point of view and stop making assumptions. Desist from nagging and competing with him and strive instead to be a helper comparable to him. It is that simple. Remember, there are lots of women out there who are looking to devour husbands from unstable homes. Finally, stop looking outside for solutions/support/justification but listen to your inner voice and reconnect with his; and tell your parents to get pankere to be used on you.

I used to think that it was ONLY in Gunatanamo or Abu Graib Prison that they use SLEEP DEPRIVATION as a weapon!
But when a "new" wife starts using it on a dog-tired tired husband, just because she wants him to make love to her (like the man would not wake up the next morning and make the same love) I am beginning to squirm!

And to see loads of in-experienced and outrightly stu.pid folks offering her silly advice!

If it was the man that slapped a woman because he wants to have intimacy, he is labeled A despoiler, A WIFE BEATER!
In this case, she gets a pat on the back and all focus is on the "arm-twisting" that followed!
Gosh, do we have so many i-diotic morons on Nairaland?
or is it that people never heard of the phrase "Action and Reaction are equal and opposite"?
And these types would be wives and mother-in-laws, in the future

Marriage is about Love, Love is about selflessness and consideration for your spouse and that includes recognizing his/her weakness and creating allowance for it!
We are "equal" abi? or is it not so again?
Man should not slap woman an also, woman should not slap man, sheh?

And l think it is a very "bad sign" for a woman to start hitting her husband, in the first place, knowing that she cannot win a "physical tango"! Whats the point of starting one?
I guess the world is actually coming to an end, especially in these era of HUSBAND ABUSERS!

Just imagine if it was a man that related this story!
LKWMD!!
MY ADVISE: Please divorce him fast, fast.
He does not deserve and "Angel" like you at all.
Go look for someone else (a nicer guy that you can water-board and whip properly, for sex  )
At least, the poor guy will be alive to enjoy his labor!

@Ivynwa

Are you ok? I hope you are not going mental? because I am yet to see where I mentioned your name on my post or if I was even referring to you in the first place?

@35 yrs you should know better than stick your frustrated self into something that does not even concern you one bit.

If this is the attitude you display in real life then now I understand why no man wants to take you under his roof as a wife. Please put all your energy into finding yourself a man instead of wasting your time on here because menopause is calling soon. Do you know that younger women these days get to see their menopause as well? or do you think it only happens when one approaches 50?

You are a disgrace, infact I had to go back and read your post to know if it was me you were talking about on here or someone else because my first post was not even directed at you at all.


God down on your knees and ask God to work in your life and make you new for your man, because with the way I see you, your body should reacting to gravity now and the wrinkles should be knocking at your door anytime from now.


I thought you were making up Id's looking for any man to marry you since you are 35 yrs old? when  did you leave opening your threads to come say balderdash?

You are just some old frustrated ninny. You need a life and whilst you are at it please hug you pillow tonight for warmth because I can see you desperately need someone to hold you tight and make you feel like the woman you are not

@Busybody

Abeg which kain rough play be that? Get the man for ivynwa abegiiii afterall she is the one that has been going around this forum with a thousand Id's begging men(even tokunboh ones) to come and marry her ASAP because her clock is ticking.

Seriously speaking my first post where I mentioned epistle was not for her, oh well she asked for words of advise and here it is

Ivynwa:


Anyway let me not be dragged down that low. The epistle sure is a lot more benefitting than the insensitive remarks, abuse and insults of a full blooded woman that calls herself mama mmadu (mother with kids) and goes about obodo naira with careless remarks in the name of being fearless and speaking the truth, Alleluiah somebody! Somebody praise the Lord for me right now, glory to God!     

ROTFLMSGBO Ok this got me laughing out loud. Mama nmadu? what are you? yes mother of kids or kid whatever you say which one you be? @35 yr old with no boyfriend not to talk of fiance and then husband before kids?

Wetin you get? I can see my posts are really getting to you abi? I have had iidiots like you and even higher than you come at me because of my post before I no shake e come be you wey never understand womanhood?

Abeg don't get me started look at this old hag with body sagging 120km/sec everyday na you wan come talk. You better look around that village abi na country you live in and see if you can get even a man with 4 wives to marry you as a 5th wife maybe then you will be so busy actually rearing kids you wouldn't have time for me the jobless one

Anu ofia, keep following me around NLD, maybe my posts helps you mastur[i]b[/i]ate and cum quickly

Mbe, agadi nwanyi na gwo o'fe

I am not surprised at this, I know that only a person with behaviours you display can stoop to booing at people about the things they shared in this forum. I am not stooping to your level dearie. It's nice that all you have on me is that I am not married and I am not ashamed sweetheart, I am a woman and can't go pay a man's dowry okay Baby. When God deems it right, he will bring the right person for me.

Stop acting all belligerent here in nairaland, you are not some female warrior or something. How can people come to forums to air their problem and you start fights with them, a mother like you. Don't think you got to me with those your words because you didn't, I am happy for you that you are married, have your kids and does not live in a village I am categorized (is something wrong with living in a village if I do live in one?? I wonder at you dear).  I guess you are thinking that it's only Nigerians that live abroad that are good enough to speak in this forum.
The same you that said all kinds of unprintables in this forum to a woman because she mentioned "menopause" to a single lady, the same you is here feeding it down my throat, I guess it's a bid to hurt me but guess what?? I will get married and cuddle lots of babies too and when that happens, I will come here to bless the Lord!! Alleluiah somebody  Somebody shout and make some noise for me! Glory!Hosanna     
Don't make the mistake of thinking that you are better than the single ones because you are married.

I have said what's on my mind to you and that is what matters, don't constitut an authority unto yourself and be laughing and abusing people when they come here with their problems. I am not quarreling with you, you seem to delight in that. Go on and say what you like but remember that no condition is permanent in Life.

Where are all these stories coming from. Another Papa Ajasco special - Woman manhandled after pleading for Sex, should have been the title.

Ivynwa:

I am happy for you that you are married, have your kids and does not live in a village as I am categorized (is something wrong with living in a village if I do live in one?? I wonder at you dear).

@ Ivy

You are happy because that "creature" is married with kids Some poor man has sleepwalked into that monster's trap and sacrificed his precious life and you are happy ?? One a serious note, this one baffles me o, supposing her story of being married with kids is true, how can a man possibly stand this woman for so long, to the extent of siring kidS (unless he is deaf, blind and mute) Tell me, how can one dismiss juju and charm with these kind of things happening around us,

@jennykadry

That medal you promised could be given to your husband, if there is one. Wait, You can get rid of a wife, but a mother is there to stay, so I think your kids deserve more sympathy than the man, so give it to them !

Look at these two ode all of them looking for jennykadry's attention na so I important reach? keep following me around threads like paparazzi's on celebs.

Sheesh jare you two jobless imbechile's are making noise. Nothing you do or say will change my person so keep trying whilst I keep giving out my "harash words" for those in need.

Condemned va[i]g[/i]inas

unsuregirl:

I am feeling anger again now when I remember hwo he treated me when I tried to talk the next morning,  and I will posting again only when the anger leaves me,  but thanks for all your advice ppl

Angry? have you gone to the doctor yet?you need some ointments for that slapped face you know?

And while you are at it please tell me if you managed to r[i]a[/i]pe your husband to get your sexual satisfaction or are you getting it from someone else?

@ dirty excreta aka jenny kadri (imagine, what a name)

HA HA HA, who is jobless ? YOU are a self declared jobless filthy hag n not one of us ! And who would want to follow a stinky rotten piece of excreta like  you. Each single one of your post has the word 'jobless' word in it , looks like somebody is desperate. Here is an option to overcome your current status of being jobless. Admit in public tht you are into witchcraft and thats how you found someone to sleep with you and get you pregnant more than once. That itself is a publicity good enough to win you customers to last a lifetime. Option no:2 is even better, with that gutter for a mouth, why don't you try street hawking? Take 10 mins from yaba left n you are all set.

BTW, if not for attention, why are you still hanging around this post shamelessly,pouring out your senseless mind every 2 minutes ?? The poster cares a hoot about you, so who you trying to please?

Unsure gal the best sex comes with practice I can understand your frustration but you need to understand that your hubby probably feels bad about the situation and to him acting the way he is acting is the best way to handle the situationm
Your sulking and silent treatment will not help anyone.sometimes humility is a cure all. Just drop your pride,intelligence and just be a wife and a woman first when you are with hubby.
Pls talk to him abt hw the situation hurts u he is not God he can't read your mind.
I do not condone any form of abuse so pls do not continue to tolerate that from him.
Do buy books on s3x and marriage and try not to rush the experience ask anybody even the experts sex btw two pips gets better with practice.

Something seems to be on the loose here, I guess we should all run for cover, right??
You are reigning queen in Nairaland, REIGN! Your majesty Ivynwa kneels on one knee and greets Ezenwanyi i ga adi ndu ruo mgbe ebighi ebi (Our Queen you will live forever) Our mighty warrior! We hail thee! 

Whatever trappings of life or whichever non-village/city you live in that have your head so swollen that you have no respect for anybody, know that Life is transient and that that which you have today may not be there tommorrow. It is true that I love children much and have shared here how much I want to have them yet being married and having children are not the all in all in Life neither are they the crowns a woman gets out of life. A girlfriend of mine died single some years back and a female relative have died leaving her children behind, none of these two got some prize or got reprimanded at the end of their lives for having children or not having children.

Life was going on nice and sweet when we all came into the world and when we depart we will not have the children, husbands etc we had in tow. What should matter is how positively we impacted the world we met, find it in you to have a heart for the pains of others. You are adding salt to the injury of another by laughing at a woman that is unhappy in her marriage and mocking her that she is begging for sex. Some weeks ago an unhappy single lady sought advice over her finances and having to help her boyfriend solve some financial problems and you came into the thread and announced to the world that the reason she is helping her boyfriend financially is because she is desperate to be married by him.
What is the essence of this forum if people can no more share their worries and seek advice from their fellow being because they get mocked by people like you.

Who is following you around in Nairaland? Myself that is busy and is almost inactive here nowadays. You are the one that have a penchant for badging into my thread to create a scene, the last time I checked the moderators had to delete the curses you heaped on 190 in my thread because they were too raw for the cyber world. A married woman that goes about fighting everybody, you can fight all you want but don't disgrace us all before foreigners. I will not allow you draw me out of myself, quarelling is no vice of mine Sweetie, so go ahead and quarrel.

Hmmm, I am going to call you out as a Christian, but I am a baby Christian taking baby steps so i think i am allowed to mete out some tough love as I still have a lot to learn in terms of biting my tongue. . . it might sound a bit harsh, so i apologise to all in advance, forgive me and forgive me, i am still a work in progress. . .

Ivynwa, you are in the wrong here, you have just said in your last statement despite posting about 5,000 lines, that you refuse to be drawn into any argument with Jennykadry, so pray tell how many lines would you have typed if you wanted to give her the time of day, 85,000,000 Oops, sorry, just had to slip this in . . . er . . . for research purposes only, yeah thats it

Right, now the pleasantries are over, Ivynwa, you are the rational one here so it is you I am going to face squarely, my take on this is, one thing you need to realise is that, we cannot all be the same, we were all created differently with different behaviour and temperament, hence the different DNA's we possess. Yes you are one of the rare as a hen's teeth balanced individual on this forum, and though it may come naturally to you, it is hard and tough at least for me, because i find myself having to mind my P's and Q's and read and re-read to make sure i have stoked enough ego and make sure i haven't upset anyone, but you make it sooooo easy, it is commendable. Keep it up. You are unique. Jenny is on one extreme from you in the middle where you seem to effortlessly hold it down to a "T", but that's her and her core being, and like i said, we are all different. That does not mean she does not have a heart, she is just being her brash, bold self who is not here to mince words, and sincerely if one could put aside their rose-tinted spectacles, one would see she is always telling the truth as it is, it is just that the truth is a bitter pill to swallow. She is not one into the habit of holding people's hands whilst she does it and instead prefers to leave that part for those docile, quiet, roll over and play dead people on the other extreme end too. I am someone that don't take life seriously and likes to joke around a lot, and sometimes when I am being mischievous and mercilessly teasing some of these peeps, Jennykadry is one of the people that comes in to rescue the hapless victim and  say "Ignore Busy_body, her location should tell you all you need to know about her", meaning she is human with a heartbeat afterall. There are even countless times on Nairaland that people are fighting and it is about to get dirty, and Jennykadry would be one of those buzzing me to come and nip the fight in the bud of kill the thread before it gets ugly, so she has a conscience and a heart, not just the conventional mass-produced one everyone is used to. That she is on one end of the pendulum is just the way the cookie crumbles.

You are a Christian, we are not supposed to condemn people nor judge them nor look down our nose on them because of a flaw we might deem they have. If at all we feel the need to intervene, we are supposed to chastise with love, admonish with love, pray on their behalf, intercede on their behalf, etc, not call them out to mock them and deride them and rub it in their face that we are better than them. And look at the bigger picture and see what's happened here, you have allowed the Devil's advocate Naijafrend to piggyback unto you saying Jennykadry's Husband must be deaf, blind and mute and she feels sorry for her children for having a Mother as a witch, i mean CAN YOU PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEART AND SWEAR YOU HAVE SEEN SOMETHING AS VITRIOLIC AND AS CRUEL AND WICKED AS THIS ON THIS FORUM SINCE YOU JOINED? AND THE IRONY IS THIS WAS SAID BY SOMEONE IN CAHOOT WITH YOU. NEED I SAY MORE I REST MY CASE.

Once the egos and pride and anger has dissipated, people all round need to apologise to one another and pray that God will meet everyone of you at the point of your needs, be each other's Brother's keepers, look out for one another, life is too short and precious to be dabbling into such childish and petty mudslinging such as this, and in the Family section too. It is well.


HEY IF ANYONE HAS TO FLAME ME, GO EASY ON ME BIKO, MY HEART IS FRAGILE

ladies of nowadays. . . .just married for 2 months and she is considering quiting ?na wao

naijangel7:

Busybody, where have i said she should beg him for anything? For pardon, for sex or what do you mean? And where did i say begging would keep him from being humiliated and assist him to have an erection? Looks like you just quoted my comment and went on talking about someone else´s comment. You can reserve your stepford wives comment for yourself until after you read my last post properly.

She posted that since the two months she's been married, she has to beg him everytime she wants sex and when he obliges he only thrusts for 15 minutes then goes to sleep, and you are saying she deserves it because you are a woman

LadyT:

Nothing worse than a partner who cant satisfy you.  The line you said about him cumming easily killed it for me.   Rubbish you only just got married you should be sleeping-with till neither of you can walk. I dont want to hear the Im tired crap when he never hits the spot (or even tries) in the first place.   He will break both your arms if you dare tell him sex with him is s h i  t.  But its not the end he can still learn.  If you have to keep asking for sex I suggest you stop and see what happens.  For his next birthday buy him a copy of the karma sutra  

You are wise beyond your years, unlike some doofuses we have here who have nothing to say other than calling those at home idiotic not-so-smart person, mschewww

sochan:

Where are all these stories coming from. Another Papa Ajasco special - Woman manhandled after pleading for Sex, should have been the title.

Your head is very correct, though you might like to add "for the past two months and counting" suffix to the end of the title

chaircover:

which brings us to another topic

If a man suffers from premature eejaculation and he doesn't satisfy his partner, isnt it possible that he will perform even worse than ever if he is tired and the woman is going to be even more frustrated & probably even worse off than before they decided to make love?

15-20 minutes is premature expulsion , hold on, so how long should it usually be then Hold on again, yeparipa, i'mma be right back, off to get me a 76-digit calculator to calculate the number of hours I have been missing out since I have been doing it for the past 77 years and thinking 3 minutes was the standard average duration i intend to recoup every last seconds Someone is gonna get it, starting from tonight, please abeg if anyone comes to open thread say hin wifey dey molest am and slap am around 24/7 to "come and do" please ignore that thread biko, chei, i don miss

@ busy_body

looks like you are more miffed with the abuses hurled at your madame's husband, well well , now I get it

why don't you stuff that foot inside your mouth and remain quiet? who on earth invited you to get in between me and that w***ch ? Do you think only she can abuse anyone and anybody? Well I haven't even started, let me know if you need your share, randee kahin ki, badi aayi mujhse panga lene, !