aminalib and dayokanu,

i have a room for u  guys.just in case u need condom,dont hesitate to ask me.

^^ unless that school has a special course on Effective Techniques to Slapping women, I really don't see what this is doing here

aminalib:

lmaooo u won't accommodate us?

I would accomodate you and he would have to find his way to the nearest Bust station in Oak Cliff.

jennykadry:

Dayo ashewo

Ogini? Wetin i do ooo. I told you I am more than enough to go round. just see my secretary and book an appointment. I do doubles and even triples for a premium.

johnterry1:

aminalib and dayokanu,

i have a room for u guys.just in case u need condom,dont hesitate to ask me.

We dont need a room, I can collapse the seat of my car and moreover, I just changed my shock absorber so we good

@ poster, report him to your brother, let them have a male chat ahahahahahahahahahahah

some idiots need to head for the ads section.

Hallo Unsuregirl, regardless of the situation, your husband was way out of order. There is no justification for domestic violence, so don't feel that you got what you deserved. I would suggest you pick a perfect moment to have a heart-to-heart with your husband to try and iron out your differences. The hardest part of most marriages is the early days after the wedding. Hopefully, you two will weather the storm and get your young marriage on to a solid footing. Good luck for the future

johnterry1:


classless monkey

@Poster, sorry to say sweet heart but you did provoke him. I think he was wrong for hitting you however you did push him to that limit. Obviously there is tension between you two that needs to be resolved. I am not sure what it is that you and your hubby were quarreling about but your leaving it out tells me that you'd rather keep it private. whether it is something that can be discussed or privately, it needs to be resolved and there must be some sort of agreement and communication btn you two in order for your marriage to work. Bottom line though, keep your hands to yourselves!

skyenoor:

Hallo Unsuregirl, regardless of the situation, your husband was way out of order. There is no justification for domestic violence, so don't feel that you got what you deserved. I would suggest you pick a perfect moment to have a heart-to-heart with your husband to try and iron out your differences. The hardest part of most marriages is the early days after the wedding. Hopefully, you two will weather the storm and get your young marriage on to a solid footing. Good luck for the future

These are the kinds of sentiments that embolden some women to torture their husbands psychologically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually and expect him to 'deal with it'! After all, he shouldn't retaliate "regardless" of what she does!!!!! So she has the license to do whatever she likes to him, yet he has no right or justification to vent his frustration or retaliate? All these women should better wake up and smell the coffee. Its just like saying there's no justification for war - yet you keep bombarding a stronger country - expecting it not to retaliate. She who wants peace must facilitate such peace; you can't sow the wind and expect not to reap the whirlwind, "regardless", what nonsense.

The earlier you realize that actions have consequences, and that one must learn to accept responsibility for one's actions and for the repercussions thereof, the better for ya'll. Smh.

skyenoor:

Hallo Unsuregirl, regardless of the situation, your husband was way out of order. There is no justification for domestic violence, so don't feel that you got what you deserved. I would suggest you pick a perfect moment to have a heart-to-heart with your husband to try and iron out your differences. The hardest part of most marriages is the early days after the wedding. Hopefully, you two will weather the storm and get your young marriage on to a solid footing. Good luck for the future

guy, u need to start using your brain.
ladies have come and corrected unsuregirl and she seems to be getting it.
try putting yourself in the shoes of a man who is dead tired from work and all that matters to ur wife is sex vigil

if you put ur brain to work, u will know the arm twisting came as the only way to stop her to hitting him. i mean, why will u twist anyone's arms when u can just load same person a thunderous slap? he definititely did not want to do it but she forced him.

the woman is the violent one here, skyenoor u need to really start thinking with ur head.

guy, u need to start using your brain.
ladies have come and corrected unsuregirl and she seems to be getting it.
try putting yourself in the shoes of a man who is dead tired from work and all that matters to your wife is sex vigil

if you put your brain to work, u will know the arm twisting came as the only way to stop her to hitting him. i mean, why will u twist anyone's arms when u can just load same person a thunderous slap? he definititely did not want to do it but she forced him.

the woman is the violent one here, skyenoor u need to really start thinking with your head.

Hallo, I just thought to remind you that it doesn't cost you anything to be civil and polite on public forums like this. Everyone may not share your view, but that does not give you the audacity to be downright rude. 

skyenoor:

Hallo Unsuregirl, regardless of the situation, your husband was way out of order. There is no justification for domestic violence, so don't feel that you got what you deserved. I would suggest you pick a perfect moment to have a heart-to-heart with your husband to try and iron out your differences. The hardest part of most marriages is the early days after the wedding. Hopefully, you two will weather the storm and get your young marriage on to a solid footing. Good luck for the future

But there is a justification for tapping him , hitting him and even kicking the guy who is dead tred and needs his sleep?.

Isnt that domestic violence? Or Does the act have to come from the man to be categorized as domestic violence?

Assuming the man was the one shaking and kicking like the woman was doing wont you still be screaming at the guy for abusing the wife, but since the woman did it, Its acceptable

nike4luv:

Webdezzi,
Could you please keep insults to yourself on this section. It will not be tolerated.


Thank You.

yea, thanks. very annoying when we leave the truth behind and address irrelevant points.

skyenoor:

Hallo, I just thought to remind you that it doesn't cost you anything to be civil and polite on public forums like this. Everyone may not share your view, but that does not give you the audacity to be downright rude. 

yea, many may not share my view but some views are obviously obvious. she typed up there, with her fingers that she stopped him from having a good rest by shaking him whenever he tries to grab one.
then someone come here and said, you know what, you did the right thing. he has no right to prevent you from disturbing his sleep.

OMG, i cant believe she said, "maybe we should part for a while so we understand what the marriage means, "

dayokanu:

But there is a justification for tapping him , hitting him and even kicking the guy who is dead tred and needs his sleep?.

Isnt that domestic violence? Or Does the act have to come from the man to be categorized as domestic violence?

Assuming the man was the one shaking and kicking like the woman was doing wont you still be screaming at the guy for abusing the wife, but since the woman did it, Its acceptable

thank u

I think the poster still thinks they are still dating. This is marriage and you will still learn a lot of things about your partner that you have not seen before. Another thing I see again is the issue of age. I think you have not processed the husband-and-wife thing very well. That man- your husband is your head now, whether you are age mate or not, you have to respect and worship him. You have to conform to his ways not him conforming to you. I am sure if he was 5yrs or more older than you you would understand what am saying. I want to believe he is a good and reasonable husband. If that is so, why not submit urself to him, and not try to judge or equate or look for whose right and wrong, and see how he will look at you so tenderly and treat you like the woman you are. Stop looking for right and wrong, that is being too static- marriage is a dynamic institution.

You can always buy a intimacy gadget if you have a higher libido

unsuregirl:
My problem is confusing the hell out of me. I have been married for two months to a guy that I have dated for 5 years before marriage. We tend to get into arguments and he is usually not very responsive during arguments which makes me feel helpless. Last night, we had such an argument over sexual matters where I felt that I can not sleep unless he resolves and does what I needed him to do and hence I kept asking him to make an effort but he kept telling me he is too tired to do anything now and we should wait till morning. So I was shaking him to keep him from sleeping and ended up frustrated enough to force him to have intimacy ,  the force did not work and he got angry and became more rigid and ignored me endlessly and finally he said he will hit me if i did not let him sleep now. He twisted my arm and that made me angry and I kicked him a few times when he said that he will go out of the house and I told him he should and that his anger is not going to resolve anything, this time his anger will end everything and he is too selfish to consider my feelings. This was when he slapped me and called me some names. I was too shocked and I slept outside and I have been thinking of leaving him ever since,  He still does not think he did anything wrong, just keeps saying that I made him slap him by not letting him sleep when he needed to and that he does not enjoy it but has to do it to stop me , I think thats crap since there can be no excuse for slapping somebody,  Should I leave the marriage right away?

Lol u dey crase oh. All these talk of leaving marriage makes me puke, we all have buttons, know the wrong ones and stop pressing them, a man shouldn't hit a woman but damn u pushed him too far and he tried to control himself and you nag plus even the worst threatened him that his going out well end everything, u dey crase oh, stay away from telemundo and fix ur attitude. Use ur power to get him to screw u and not to order him like he is Kunta Kinte or some Mandingo honcho.

Outstrip:



Listen id iot. It is obvious that you are a woman beater. My prayer is that you meet the one that beats the crap out of you and then feeds it to you. She mentioned that he twisted her arm and then she kicked him. Did you miss that? I am sure twisting her arm is the same as pre-intimacy to you. She had every right to defend herself. If in your opinion a woman who defends herself is a feminist then I think every woman should be a feminists. The problem with abusive people like you is that you can never hide your true colors. A woman saying she kicked a man after he assaulted her gets your blood boiling. So tell me, how many have you hit? Does it make you feel manly that you slapped a woman around. Does it make you feel in charge? You really sound juvenile. At best you are an abusive, ignorant n-word that has probably been locked up a few times for beating his wife. If you haven't been locked up for spousal abuse it's only because she has been too afraid to call the police on your a ss. I bet you probably beat her up and claim that she made you do it. She provoked you. She nagged you so much you lost your cool. You woke up one morning and you realized she was ugly. She looked at you funny. YOU ARE NOT A MAN. You are simply a creature with a peni s. Nothing special about you. You do not deserve anybody's sister, daughter, or loved one. You should be with another man who is big and bad enough to whip you into submission.

Wow..........am loving yhu already......you really gav him a piece of your mind

Outstrip:



Listen id iot. It is obvious that you are a woman beater. My prayer is that you meet the one that beats the crap out of you and then feeds it to you. She mentioned that he twisted her arm and then she kicked him. Did you miss that? I am sure twisting her arm is the same as pre-intimacy to you. She had every right to defend herself. If in your opinion a woman who defends herself is a feminist then I think every woman should be a feminists. The problem with abusive people like you is that you can never hide your true colors. A woman saying she kicked a man after he assaulted her gets your blood boiling. So tell me, how many have you hit? Does it make you feel manly that you slapped a woman around. Does it make you feel in charge? You really sound juvenile. At best you are an abusive, ignorant n-word that has probably been locked up a few times for beating his wife. If you haven't been locked up for spousal abuse it's only because she has been too afraid to call the police on your a ss. I bet you probably beat her up and claim that she made you do it. She provoked you. She nagged you so much you lost your cool. You woke up one morning and you realized she was ugly. She looked at you funny. YOU ARE NOT A MAN. You are simply a creature with a peni s. Nothing special about you. You do not deserve anybody's sister, daughter, or loved one. You should be with another man who is big and bad enough to whip you into submission.

Choi!!!!

unsuregirl:
I would have respected him more if he had shown some sensibility and checked into a hotel.

Lobatan!

If he slapped you over something like sex, biko when even more major life issues come, won't he throw punches?

Pray and be wise in how you handle the matter. It will determine the course of marriage. Please note that prayer is not a substitute for taking action.

A word is enough for the wise.

oshaosha2014:
I think the poster still thinks they are still dating. This is marriage and you will still learn a lot of things about your partner that you have not seen before. Another thing I see again is the issue of age. I think you have not processed the husband-and-wife thing very well. That man- your husband is your head now, whether you are age mate or not, you have to respect and worship him. You have to conform to his ways not him conforming to you. I am sure if he was 5yrs or more older than you you would understand what am saying. I want to believe he is a good and reasonable husband. If that is so, why not submit urself to him, and not try to judge or equate or look for whose right and wrong, and see how he will look at you so tenderly and treat you like the woman you are. Stop looking for right and wrong, that is being too static- marriage is a dynamic institution.

So marriage is a wife conforming to the ways of the husband because the husband is the head? Father Lord, I am truly afraid of marrying a Nigerian man. This ideologies of my people sef.
A husband that wants to be treated like the head must love his wife like Christ loves the church. Last time I checked, Jesus does not condone domestic abuse.

@Poster, sorry to say sweet heart but you did provoke him. I think he was wrong for hitting you however you did push him to that limit. Obviously there is tension between you two that needs to be resolved. I am not sure what it is that you and your hubby were quarreling about but your leaving it out tells me that you'd rather keep it private. whether it is something that can be discussed or privately, it needs to be resolved and there must be some sort of agreement and communication btn you two in order for your marriage to work. Bottom line though, keep your hands to yourselves!

Since they have said you provoked him, I say the next tome he provokes you, throw a couple of slaps his way. Gahhh! Utter nonsense.
For a nation that is so obsessed with weddings, Nigeria has no clue about what a healthy marriage should look like. There are boundaries that should never be crossed by either party. Physical abuse is one of them. These are things that should have been discussed in marriage counseling.

unsuregirl:
Yes, I saw this side of him only after I moved in with him after the wedding. Earlier there were just arguments or silent times. But ever since I began to live with him, he has been pretty much scaring me with hitting me whenever he feels like during an argument, , I considered anger control therapy today but when I asked him, he refused, saying that he did what he did to stop me from nagging him and not out of pleasure.

Avoid the things u do that make him hit u. Use another approach like talking to him when u are calm and u sure he is as well. Sometimes u incorporate the silent treatment too. Best of luck.

Welepamilayo:


So marriage is a wife conforming to the ways of the husband because the husband is the head? Father Lord, I am truly afraid of marrying a Nigerian man. This ideologies of my people sef.
A husband that wants to be treated like the head must love his wife like Christ loves the church. Last time I checked, Jesus does not condone domestic abuse.

We are not the same, madam. A woman will do well in a marriage by conforming to the ways of her hubby(you wouldn't want a marriage where two pple are making the final decisions). And the husband, as u rightly said, shld love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. As Christ is the head of the man so is the man the head of his wife, by extension, his children too. Christ expects us to follow His every directive, the same goes for the man in his family. The man is the ultimate authority in his home. Two pple don't occupy that position. And the man being a reasonable and God fearing man, loves his wife to a fault.

You don't need to marry a Nigerian man. There are women who want them that way - not stripping away what makes them men because you don't like it. Go marry those men in the western countries where there laws have turned them to second class to their women.

oshaosha2014:


We are not the same, madam. A woman will do well in a marriage by conforming to the ways of her hubby(you wouldn't want a marriage where two pple are making the final decisions). And the husband, as u rightly said, shld love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. As Christ is the head of the man so is the man the head of his wife, by extension, his children too. Christ expects us to follow His every directive, the same goes for the man in his family. The man is the ultimate authority in his home. Two pple don't occupy that position. And the man being a reasonable and God fearing man, loves his wife to a fault.

You don't need to marry a Nigerian man. There are women who want them that way - not stripping away what makes them men because you don't like it. Go marry those men in the western countries where there laws have turned them to second class to their women.

See that is the problem right there. When men are go into marriage thinking "my wife must conform to my ways since I am the head" the marrriage becomes a dangerous and toxic place for the woman and the children. Why? The moment she does not do things his way, she will reap a consequences as determined by the man. This takes responsibility away from the husband and alas it is the woman's fault. We quickly forget that both entities come from different backgrounds so they will share differences and both must be committed to working out the best way for the differences to not clash. It does not make him less of a leader to acknowledge that, yes I do get to make the final decisions in the home but my opinions and ideologies are not the only ones that matter. You are quick to pounce in saying giving this respect to your wife is a western thing. No my friend, it is a Christ like behavior to do so. Now will there be times the husband will still make a decision that does not sit well with the wife, of course. However it is much easier to accept that when you know that both parties have actually weighed the options together.
Women's minds truly needs to be transformed from this "less than" mentality. Your voice matters in your marriage. You deserve to be heard and respected while still honoring your husband. Your children will either thank you or curse at you for the kind of atmosphere you raise them in.

Welepamilayo:


See that is the problem right there. When men are go into marriage thinking "my wife must conform to my ways since I am the head" the marrriage becomes a dangerous and toxic place for the woman and the children. Why? The moment she does not do things his way, she will reap a consequences as determined by the man. This takes responsibility away from the husband and alas it is the woman's fault. We quickly forget that both entities come from different backgrounds so they will share differences and both must be committed to working out the best way for the differences to not clash. It does not make him less of a leader to acknowledge that, yes I do get to make the final decisions in the home but my opinions and ideologies are not the only ones that matter. You are quick to pounce in saying giving this respect to your wife is a western thing. No my friend, it is a Christ like behavior to do so. Now will there be times the husband will still make a decision that does not sit well with the wife, of course. However it is much easier to accept that when you know that both parties have actually weighed the options together.
Women's minds truly needs to be transformed from this "less than" mentality. Your voice matters in your marriage. You deserve to be heard and respected while still honoring your husband. Your children will either thank you or curse at you for the kind of atmosphere you raise them in.

You make the woman look like a victim because she has someone as her head. And the head, you make him look like one dictator, someone without feelings or empathy. Anyways, whether u believe it or not every woman naturally craves for that authority over her in the form of a husband. And the only way a family unit will run smoothly is when the man knows his place in the home, same with the woman.