unsuregirl, you are a complete i-diot. What you need to do is go kneel down and beg your husband because it's obvious you are a complete trouble maker. You obviously completely provoked the guy and you are here looking for sympathy. Please leave so your husband can have peace and find a nice woman to marry. I'm completely surprised you even think the man is the problem. Look in the damn mirror. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. Once you realize you can't force someone to have sex and that you can't nag your way into getting something, then you will be deserving of a man. For now, no man should have to put up with your bullshit.

If this is the way you whine/run your mouth at home believe me I don't blame the man for shutting you up with a slap

How old do you think you are 12? you think 25 is still young? a man slapped you because you kicked and hit him and you are here disgracing yourself?

Which man is ever tired of sex?yes sometimes they come up with "baby I am tired " line it is all left to the woman to work on him, I cannot believe your selfish self denied that man good sleep just because you wanted to be drilled, seriously?

Keep looking for who is to blame here and who is to change and watch your home get destroyed by your childish behaviour and also watch another woman come amend that home for you and throw you out into the trash can.

BTW I dont support a man hitting a woman but sometimes some women just push them to the extreme, if my husband tried kicking or hitting me because I said no believe me when  I say I would have done worst than a slap

Now wait a minute,half an hour later after he slapped you, you went back to slap him back?

Gawd women like you wanna make me call you a disgrace to womanhood

For your sake I question the sense in womanhood.

jennykadry:

If this is the way you whine/run your mouth at home believe me I don't blame the man for shutting you up with a slap

How old do you think you are 12? you think 25 is still young? a man slapped you because you kicked and hit him and you are here disgracing yourself?

Which man is ever tired of sex?yes sometimes they come up with "baby I am tired " line it is all left to the woman to work on him, I cannot believe your selfish self denied that man good sleep just because you wanted to be drilled, seriously?

Keep looking for who is to blame here and who is to change and watch your home get destroyed by your childish behaviour and also watch another woman come amend that home for you and throw you out into the trash can.

BTW I dont support a man hitting a woman but sometimes some women just push them to the extreme, if my husband tried kicking or hitting me because I said no believe me when  I say I would have done worst than a slap

For the last time, I did not kick him until he twisted my arm. Do not say anything you please. You can tell me that I nagged too much but if you say that I started abusing him physically and thats why he slapped me, i think you are not educated enough to read through a post properly.
He slapped me cos I nagged him and I did not give in or stop him when he threatened me to leave the house. Its that plain. The moment I said that he can leave the house if he wants to, he slapped me.

My problem is confusing the hell out of me. I have been married for two months to a guy that I have dated for 5 years before marriage. We tend to get into arguments and he is usually not very responsive during arguments which makes me feel helpless. Last night, we had such an argument over sexual matters where I felt that I can not sleep unless he resolves and does what I needed him to do and hence I kept asking him to make an effort but he kept telling me he is too tired to do anything now and we should wait till morning. So I was shaking him to keep him from sleeping and ended up frustrated enough to force him to have intimacy ,  the force did not work and he got angry and became more rigid and ignored me endlessly and finally he said he will hit me if i did not let him sleep now. He twisted my arm and that made me angry and I kicked him a few times when he said that he will go out of the house and I told him he should and that his anger is not going to resolve anything, this time his anger will end everything and he is too selfish to consider my feelings. This was when he slapped me and called me some names. I was too shocked and I slept outside and I have been thinking of leaving him ever since,  He still does not think he did anything wrong, just keeps saying that I made him slap him by not letting him sleep when he needed to and that he does not enjoy it but has to do it to stop me , I think thats crap since there can be no excuse for slapping somebody,  Should I leave the marriage right away?

I can't even believe what I'm reading. Let me get this straight.

1) You wanted to have intimacy and the man was tired
2) So you kept nagging him, preventing him from getting any sleep
3) When nagging didn't work, you started shaking him forcefully.
4) The man then tried to restrain you but twisting your arm
5) You got angry and kicked him a few times
6) Then you nagged some more and called him selfish {when you were the selfish one}
7) The man finally got angry and slapped you
8 Then you slapped him back


Now you are asking us if you should leave the marriage? There is no other way to say this girl, you are a big fool. You are complaining about him slapping you but you have no idea the amount of mental torture and provocation you are subjecting the man to. YOU HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM. GO TALK TO PEOPLE AND LEARN HOW TO CONDUCT YOURSELF AS A WOMAN. HUMBLE YOURSELF AND BEG YOUR HUSBAND TO FORGIVE YOU FOR BEHAVING LIKE AN INCONSIDERATE SELFISH I-DIOT. If I were your husband, I will leave you sorry a-ss immediately because no one deserves to be tortured and provoked. Kai, and I thought I had a problem with my woman? God save us from agbako

I know your type very well. Always playing the victim. All you want to talk about is that he slapped you conveniently ignoring what led to the slap. Look, you are very wrong. I have to commend you for having the decenecy to relay the whole story though. Had he been the one to provoke you like you like you did him, I can assure you that you would have been more violent that he was. If the slap is what is paining you, let me assure you that you completely deserved it. I will never hit a woman, but I really can't blame your man because he has to deal with a selfish inconsiderate creature like you.

unsuregirl:

For the last time, I did not kick him until he twisted my arm. Do not say anything you please. You can tell me that I nagged too much but if you say that I started abusing him physically and thats why he slapped me, i think you are not educated enough to read through a post properly.
He slapped me cos I nagged him and I did not give in or stop him when he threatened me to leave the house. Its that plain. The moment I said that he can leave the house if he wants to, he slapped me.

Yes I am not educated enough but I keep saying this: if education is not going to give me common sense to handle issues around me then I don't want to be educated. You are the educated one and still can't keep a man and a home? so educated that you have to practically beg for sex? so educated that you went back 30mins later to slap a man? you are one hell of an educated ignoramus


BTW is this not your post?

So I was shaking him to keep him from sleeping and ended up frustrated enough to force him to have intimacy ,  the force did not work and he got angry and became more rigid and ignored me endlessly and finally he said he will hit me if i did not let him sleep now

If you had not acted like a sex starved mumu the slap wouldn't have come about, how did the slap come about sef, you kept on shaking a man because you feel he does not deserve any sleep because you are awake? and then you tried to force him, do you know force is a pressure you can exert on someone? the dude went ahead and ignored you , your spoilt self kept disturbing him until he warned you to keep off lest he hit you what did you do? you kept on pestering him until he decided to twist your arm to keep you off(if only he broke that hand of yours, I would have thanked him personally )

You are selfish, self centered and used to having your way, you cannot have your way in marriage all the time so it is either you f[i]c[/i]uk off that disaster you call marriage or learn the art of sacrifice/compromise

jennykadry:

Yes I am not educated enough but I keep saying this: if education is not going to give me common sense to handle issues around me then I don't want to be educated. You are the educated one and still can't keep a man and a home? so educated that you have to practically beg for sex? so educated that you went back 30mins later to slap a man? you are one hell of an educated ignoramus


BTW is this not your post?

If you had not acted like a sex starved mumu the slap wouldn't have come about, how did the slap come about sef, you kept on shaking a man because you feel he does not deserve any sleep because you are awake? and then you tried to force him, do you know force is a pressure you can exert on someone? the dude went ahead and ignored you , your spoilt self kept disturbing him until he warned you to keep off lest he hit you what did you do? you kept on pestering him until he decided to twist your arm to keep you off(if only he broke that hand of yours, I would have thanked him personally )

You are selfish, self centered and used to having your way, you cannot have your way in marriage all the time so it is either you f[i]c[/i]uk off that disaster you call marriage or learn the art of sacrifice/compromise

I am sorry but you seem to be taking this too personal. Probably my husband deserves you only. i have never even talked to my husband like this no matter whether he hit me or not. God bless your husband because if he ever stepped out of line, you can definitely kill him, if this is the erage you feel for people you don,t even know well. I am more scared of you than I am of my husband. Thanks for your insight. Now I know there are worse people in this world.

Not only is this girl selfish, spoilt and inconsiderate, she is also averse to the truth. You have multiple people telling you the same thing, yet you are still not seeing reason. Your stubborness and pride will be your destruction, if you don't heed the advice you are getting.

The whole thing dey pain me sef as if na me be her husband. Make I go calm down jare,

Genius100:


Now you are asking us if you should leave the marriage? There is no other way to say this girl, you are a big fool. You are complaining about him slapping you but you have no idea the amount of mental torture and provocation you are subjecting the man to. YOU HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM. GO TALK TO PEOPLE AND LEARN HOW TO CONDUCT YOURSELF AS A WOMAN. HUMBLE YOURSELF AND BEG YOUR HUSBAND TO FORGIVE YOU FOR BEHAVING LIKE AN INCONSIDERATE SELFISH I-DIOT. If I were your husband, I will leave you sorry a-ss immediately because no one deserves to be tortured and provoked. Kai, and I thought I had a problem with my woman? God save us from agbako

I know your type very well. Always playing the victim. All you want to talk about is that he slapped you conveniently ignoring what led to the slap. Look, you are very wrong. I have to commend you for having the decenecy to relay the whole story though. Had he been the one to provoke you like you like you did him, I can assure you that you would have been more violent that he was. If the slap is what is paining you, let me assure you that you completely deserved it. I will never hit a woman, but I really can't blame your man because he has to deal with a selfish inconsiderate creature like you.
 

Yeah, so my husband is almost like you. Anyway, I sum up your words with the conclusion that I should leave the marriage, thats what you imply. Thanks for the advice. Thats all I have asked for. Not support in blaming him or me.

Unsuregirl,
I have read all ur post and I can't help but laff like OBJ.
Prov 14 v1. Every wise woman builds her house ,
It takes wisdom to build a loving home.

I don't know the school of thought u belong to but the successful women that i have known and remained happilly marrried do stoop low to conquer.
that u are d same age does not imply that u have it as 50/50 thing in ur home.

When the scripture says RESPECT ur husband in the first verse be4 Love ur wife, it means a lot

Do u know what I see here.
i am not sure you love him and I do not think u are matured enuff to know what marriage is. I doubt if both of you are ready for it.
You have gone too far by making him feel uneasy 'cause you want sex when he is tired already. U don't demand it, u earn it.

Its like he is telling u to stop ur heavy menstral flow cause he wants in and he does not want the bed to be stained. What would u do?
I am sure u would have asked him to be patient with u, lets assume he started making you uneasy couple with the fact that u still got menstrual pain to cope with after pleading with him to be patient. How will you react.

One successful advice to young couples like urs is dat no matter what, try to resolve ur differences the day it happened. do not allow 3rd party (inlaws) to be involved and  do not let ur ego ruin it.

If you value that marriage of yours, you have to let go of ur ego and be submissive, learn how to use your power of influence as a woman to have ur way, then u are still massaging his ego and u are busy recording success and scoring points by achieving ur goal.

So pick up ur phone now, send him a text like. [b]Honey, i am so sorry for pushing you to the wall, I was just missing u badly that i wanted u inside, i dont know I was doing it the wrong way, by the way My cheeks are extremely painful, u need to come and massage it for 2 hours and promise me that no matter how naughty i am it wont happen again. And ur punishment for hitting me that way is SIX rounds of drilling on the bed at my call, no appeal. Love u. [/b]and lets see what happens

unsuregirl:

Yeah, so my husband is almost like you. Anyway, I sum up your words with the conclusion that I should leave the marriage, thats what you imply. Thanks for the advice. Thats all I have asked for. Not support in blaming him or me.

What I'm telling you is that if you leave this marriage, you will also have to leave all your future subsequent marriages, because YOU ARE THE PROBLEM BUT YOU REFUSE TO SEE IT. I've been in similar situations and I did not hit the woman but from a man's point of view, It's a terrible experience that I will not wish on my worst enemies. All the man wants is peace, yet your sorry ass keep provoking him and still wants to play the victim. He sure deserves much better than you.

I think some people are unnecessarily trying to take things into their hands, I have been advised by some people what I should be doing for a healthy future with relatinoships and I appreciate that. And multiple people have told me that I should quit pushing a man. Which I get. Now I am not begging for forgiveness for not letting a man sleep. So quit venting out angers of ur troubles on me. Nobody can make anyone feel sorry by force or control or ill words , thats all I have learnt from my bad experience. And you stupid people are trying to do exactly that. Quit it. Quit it with me and quit it with other people who are around you.

likeme:

Unsuregirl,
I have read all your post and I can't help but laff like OBJ.
Prov 14 v1. Every wise woman builds her house ,
It takes wisdom to build a loving home.

I don't know the school of thought u belong to but the successful women that i have known and remained happilly marrried do stoop low to conquer.
that u are d same age does not imply that u have it as 50/50 thing in your home.

When the scripture says RESPECT your husband in the first verse be4 Love your wife, it means a lot

Do u know what I see here.
i am not sure you love him and I do not think u are matured enuff to know what marriage is. I doubt if both of you are ready for it.
You have gone too far by making him feel uneasy 'cause you want sex when he is tired already. U don't demand it, u earn it.

Its like he is telling u to stop your heavy menstral flow cause he wants in and he does not want the bed to be stained. What would u do?
I am sure u would have asked him to be patient with u, lets assume he started making you uneasy couple with the fact that u still got menstrual pain to cope with after pleading with him to be patient. How will you react.

One successful advice to young couples like urs is dat no matter what, try to resolve your differences the day it happened. do not allow 3rd party (inlaws) to be involved and do not let your ego ruin it.

If you value that marriage of yours, you have to let go of your ego and be submissive, learn how to use your power of influence as a woman to have your way, then u are still massaging his ego and u are busy recording success and scoring points by achieving your goal.

So pick up your phone now, send him a text like. [b]Honey, i am so sorry for pushing you to the wall, I was just missing u badly that i wanted u inside, i dont know I was doing it the wrong way, by the way My cheeks are extremely painful, u need to come and massage it for 2 hours and promise me that no matter how naughty i am it wont happen again. And your punishment for hitting me that way is SIX rounds of drilling on the bed at my call, no appeal. Love u. [/b]and lets see what happens

See correct woman. God bless you, my sister.

Genius100:

Not only is this girl selfish, spoilt and inconsiderate, she is also averse to the truth. You have multiple people telling you the same thing, yet you are still not seeing reason. Your stubborness and pride will be your destruction, if you don't heed the advice you are getting.

The whole thing dey pain me sef as if na me be her husband. Make I go calm down jare,  

No be only you the thing dey pain my brother, e dey be me like say i be the man in question

I had no real interest in the thread at first but going through it post by post, the poster is so full of pride and that pride is going to destroy her so much that she'll end up achieving nothing in the nearest future.

Everybody (almost) is telling her the same thing but she's refused to listen, she came on here to get people to sympathize with her but it is not going to happen

There wouldn't have been any slap or arm twisting if she respected her old age.

I was married way before 25 and believe me I am so shocked that a 25 yr old mama cannot keep a home.,

Men are like egss, don't hold them too tight lest they break and turn into animals, don't hold them too loose lest they fall off and get picked up by another woman.

If your marriage means alot to you, go and communicate with your husband , tell him how you feel and settle this case once and for all, we cannot help you, go help yourself

2months marriage is just too young for drama. You are just spoilt and can't have your way

likeme:

Unsuregirl,
I have read all your post and I can't help but laff like OBJ.
Prov 14 v1. Every wise woman builds her house ,
It takes wisdom to build a loving home.

I don't know the school of thought u belong to but the successful women that i have known and remained happilly marrried do stoop low to conquer.
that u are d same age does not imply that u have it as 50/50 thing in your home.

When the scripture says RESPECT your husband in the first verse be4 Love your wife, it means a lot

Do u know what I see here.
i am not sure you love him and I do not think u are matured enuff to know what marriage is. I doubt if both of you are ready for it.
You have gone too far by making him feel uneasy 'cause you want sex when he is tired already. U don't demand it, u earn it.

Its like he is telling u to stop your heavy menstral flow cause he wants in and he does not want the bed to be stained. What would u do?
I am sure u would have asked him to be patient with u, lets assume he started making you uneasy couple with the fact that u still got menstrual pain to cope with after pleading with him to be patient. How will you react.

One successful advice to young couples like urs is dat no matter what, try to resolve your differences the day it happened. do not allow 3rd party (inlaws) to be involved and  do not let your ego ruin it.

If you value that marriage of yours, you have to let go of your ego and be submissive, learn how to use your power of influence as a woman to have your way, then u are still massaging his ego and u are busy recording success and scoring points by achieving your goal.

So pick up your phone now, send him a text like. [b]Honey, i am so sorry for pushing you to the wall, I was just missing u badly that i wanted u inside, i dont know I was doing it the wrong way, by the way My cheeks are extremely painful, u need to come and massage it for 2 hours and promise me that no matter how naughty i am it wont happen again. And your punishment for hitting me that way is SIX rounds of drilling on the bed at my call, no appeal. Love u. [/b]and lets see what happens

Thanks , that is helpful. Makes sense to me. I already know I should not have pushed him. Thanks for reading the post properly.

unsuregirl:

I think some people are unnecessarily trying to take things into their hands, I have been advised by some people what I should be doing for a healthy future with relatinoships and I appreciate that. And multiple people have told me that I should quit pushing a man. Which I get. Now I am not begging for forgiveness for not letting a man sleep. So quit venting out angers of your troubles on me. Nobody can make anyone feel sorry by force or control or ill words , thats all I have learnt from my bad experience. And you silly people are trying to do exactly that. Quit it. Quit it with me and quit it with other people who are around you.

Your posts continue to confirm that you are completely immature and you have a long way to go in life. No one here knows you, so get off all your nonsensical talk about "control with ill words". We are simply trying to talk some sense into your vacuous head, so you can see the error in your ways and save your marriage. My posts is really because I feel very sorry for your husband having to put up with a brat like you. Perhaps I could have conveyed my opinion in a more cordial tone but I doubt that will convey the gross error of your conduct.

Hi Baby, thank God you are just new in marriage and I wish to congratulate you as a beginner. Listen, I am a father of 2 and a responsible, caring, loving but strict husband too. You must undergo such experience since courtship may not expose you to your spouse innate. Look, let me offer some advice;
1. Try to understand him by focusing on his best moments
2. Find out what usually make him happy and sad. Note that nagging drives a man crazy as I was once a victim of nagging from my wife but I won her through effective communication and patience. you may need to employ the effect of communication and time to win him
3. Do not allow your feelings overtake his feelings
4. The best time to talk your mind with respect and soberness of mind to your husband is 5.00 am but do not forget to feed in the bed ( a cup of tea can do)
5. when he tells you no, stop.
6. you are doing this to save your marriage.
7. let me tell you, marriage is not a bed of rose you must face its ups and down
Finally, a saying goes thus: " it is not where your are at the time of peace but where you are at the time of challenge" - digest and do not take wrong advise.

Your marriage will stand. You will be the apple of his eyes. You will not regret your decision.

jennykadry:

No be only you the thing dey pain my brother, e dey be me like say i be the man in question

I had no real interest in the thread at first but going through it post by post, the poster is so full of pride and that pride is going to destroy her so much that she'll end up achieving nothing in the nearest future.

Everybody (almost) is telling her the same thing but she's refused to listen, she came on here to get people to sympathize with her but it is not going to happen

There wouldn't have been any slap or arm twisting if she respected her old age.

I was married way before 25 and believe me I am so shocked that a 25 yr old mama cannot keep a home.,

Men are like egss, don't hold them too tight lest they break and turn into animals, don't hold them too loose lest they fall off and get picked up by another woman.

If your marriage means alot to you, go and communicate with your husband , tell him how you feel and settle this case once and for all, we cannot help you, go help yourself

2months marriage is just too young for drama. You are just spoilt and can't have your way

If I needed sympathies, I would have talked to people who know me well. My friends sympathized with me and thats why I came to a forum since I wanted unbiased opinions which I have received and I am thankful too but you both sincerely are two rude poeple and controlling ones who are unhappy because a woman would not listen to your advice. Try to understand that the way you both are communicating is no way to make any hurt person see anything .You both can keep commenting if you have a lot of time but trust me, its not useful with the way you guys talk.

unsuregirl:

For the last time, [b]I did not kick him until he twisted my arm[/b]. Do not say anything you please. You can tell me that I nagged too much but if you say that I started abusing him physically and thats why he slapped me, i think you are not educated enough to read through a post properly.
He slapped me cos I nagged him and I did not give in or stop him when he threatened me to leave the house. Its that plain. The moment I said that he can leave the house if he wants to, he slapped me.
[/quote

But you shook him before he twisted your arm.


The bible tells us that it is better to dwell on a house top that to live with a nagging woman.

Please my dear sister, grow up if you want to save your marriage. Even if you leave your husband for another man the problem will continue unless you cahnge this ugly charcter of yours.

sammed33:

Hi Baby, thank God you are just new in marriage and I wish to congratulate you as a beginner. Listen, I am a father of 2 and a responsible, caring, loving but strict husband too. You must undergo such experience since courtship may not expose you to your spouse innate. Look, let me offer some advice;
1. Try to understand him by focusing on his best moments
2. Find out what usually make him happy and sad. Note that nagging drives a man crazy as I was once a victim of nagging from my wife but I won her through effective communication and patience. you may need to employ the effect of communication and time to win him
3. Do not allow your feelings overtake his feelings
4. The best time to talk your mind with respect and soberness of mind to your husband is 5.00 am but do not forget to feed in the bed ( a cup of tea can do)
5. when he tells you no, stop.
6. you are doing this to save your marriage.
7. let me tell you, marriage is not a bed of rose you must face its ups and down
Finally, a saying goes thus: " it is not where your are at the time of peace but where you are at the time of challenge" - digest and do not take wrong advise.

Your marriage will stand. You will be the apple of his eyes. You will not regret your decision.

Thanks, I knwo I should stop nagging a man. And I am going to do that. If anything I have learnt from thsi experience, tis that nagging is not good for anybody. I just wish my husband could communicate well. He usually becomes like a wall whenever he feel like and that makes me feel helpless.

unsuregirl:

If I needed sympathies, I would have talked to people who know me well. My friends sympathized with me and thats why I came to a forum since I wanted unbiased opinions which I have received and I am thankful too but you both sincerely are two rude poeple and controlling ones who are unhappy because a woman would not listen to your advice. Try to understand that the way you both are communicating is no way to make any hurt person see anything .You both can keep commenting if you have a lot of time but trust me, its not useful with the way you guys talk.

you told your friends what happened btw your hubby and yourself just 2 months into the marriage? ok this just confirmed that you are ee[i]d[/i]iot , an immature agbero with no sense of reasoning. Do you think I want you to listen to me? you wish, I am not the one that got one dirty slap on the cheek , so why do I care if you listen to me?

jennykadry:

No be only you the thing dey pain my brother, e dey be me like say i be the man in question

I had no real interest in the thread at first but going through it post by post, the poster is so full of pride and that pride is going to destroy her so much that she'll end up achieving nothing in the nearest future.

Everybody (almost) is telling her the same thing but she's refused to listen, she came on here to get people to sympathize with her but it is not going to happen

There wouldn't have been any slap or arm twisting if she respected her old age.

I was married way before 25 and believe me I am so shocked that a 25 yr old mama cannot keep a home.,

Men are like egss, don't hold them too tight lest they break and turn into animals, don't hold them too loose lest they fall off and get picked up by another woman.

If your marriage means alot to you, go and communicate with your husband , tell him how you feel and settle this case once and for all, we cannot help you, go help yourself

2months marriage is just too young for drama. You are just spoilt and can't have your way

God bless you, my sister. I'm happy that women are also telling her the same thing lest she thinks I'm just biased because I'm a man.

unsuregirl:

Thanks, I knwo I should stop nagging a man. And I am going to do that. If anything I have learnt from thsi experience, tis that nagging is not good for anybody. I just wish my husband could communicate well. He usually becomes like a wall whenever he feel like and that makes me feel helpless.

Allright, I wil lbe cordial now even though I gotta go to bed, so this will be my last post for a while. Your husband is not communicating because even when he attempts to explain his viewpoint, it still leads to an argument which is what he's trying to prevent. When he's silent, it's simply because he does not want to get angry and allow the situation get out of hand like the one you just described. Men are very easy to deal with, if you know what you are doing. It''s called mastering the art of soft skills. Goodluck.

Genius, which one now, I be man oo,

unsuregirl:

Thanks, I know I should stop nagging a man. And I am going to do that. If anything I have learnt from thsi experience, tis that nagging is not good for anybody. I just wish my husband could communicate well. He usually becomes like a wall whenever he feel like and that makes me feel helpless.

What you should do my dear, is to start showing him some respect. You obviously don't! Probably because he's your age mate.

Even if he were younger, he's still a man and you have to give him that respect whether you like it or not.

If you really want to save your marriage, I'll advice you to listen to likeme's suggestion. In fact copy and paste that message and send to him!

Then try and learn how to control your mouth. You are a woman for God's sakes, not a 15-year old teenager!

jennykadry:

No be only you the thing dey pain my brother, e dey be me like say i be the man in question

I had no real interest in the thread at first but going through it post by post, the poster is so full of pride and that pride is going to destroy her so much that she'll end up achieving nothing in the nearest future.

Everybody (almost) is telling her the same thing but she's refused to listen, she came on here to get people to sympathize with her but it is not going to happen

There wouldn't have been any slap or arm twisting if she respected her old age.

I was married way before 25 and believe me I am so shocked that a 25 yr old mama cannot keep a home.,

Men are like egss, don't hold them too tight lest they break and turn into animals, don't hold them too loose lest they fall off and get picked up by another woman.

If your marriage means alot to you, go and communicate with your husband , tell him how you feel and settle this case once and for all, we cannot help you, go help yourself

2months marriage is just too young for drama. You are just spoilt and can't have your way

You know Jenny, she's not actually 'spoilt' . . Naaah, I won't use that word.

She's just rude, uncouth and very very full of herself. I wonder why . . . . She doesn't sound that intelligent so what could possibly be swelling her ego?

Ujujoan:

What you should do my dear, is to start showing him some respect. You obviously don't! Probably because he's your age mate.

Even if he were younger, he's still a man and you have to give him that respect whether you like it or not.

If you really want to save your marriage, I'll advice you to listen to likeme's suggestion. In fact copy and paste that message and send to him!

Then try and learn how to control your mouth. You are a woman for God's sakes, not a 15-year old teenager!

Probably I don't know the ways of the world. Hence, I am asking this question, Is it true that a man deserves respect by being a man and just cause of his half Y chromosose? I heard this from a few people and I am not asking this to argue about it but I genuinely had never given that a thought before. I had thought that one has to earn respect irrespective of their genders. I doubt if either of us in my marriage deserves to be respected. But again, respect a man for being born a man Really?

unsuregirl:

Probably I don't know the ways of the world. Hence, I am asking this question, Is it true that a man deserves respect by being a man and just cause of his half Y chromosose? I heard this from a few people and I am not asking this to argue about it but I genuinely had never given that a thought before. I had thought that one has to earn respect irrespective of their genders. I doubt if either of us in my marriage deserves to be respected. But again, respect a man for being born a man Really?

My dear, marriage is an institution and like every institution, there must be a leader. The man is the God-ordained leader. Now this doesn't mean you don't deserve respect but by virtue of him being a man (I know its sucks . . . ), he's in charge!

I assumed that before you went into a lifetime commitment with him, he would have 'earned' your respect. You guys are not just dating, you are married!

Assuming he was 1yr older than you are, won't you respect him? If not for anything, for the fact that he's your elder. That at least is tradition!

Ujujoan:

You know Jenny, she's not actually 'spoilt' . . Naaah, I won't use that word.

She's just rude, uncouth and very very full of herself. I wonder why . . . . She doesn't sound that intelligent so what could possibly be swelling her ego?

Onye ara

I think she's spoilt though, she sounds like someone who is used to having her way all the time and if she doesn't there must be problem

Ujujoan:

My dear, marriage is an institution and like every institution, there must be a leader. The man is the God-ordained leader. Now this doesn't mean you don't deserve respect but by virtue of him being a man (I know its sucks . . . ), he's in charge!

I assumed that before you went into a lifetime commitment with him, he would have 'earned' your respect. You guys are not just dating, you are married!

Assuming he was 1yr older than you are, won't you respect him? If not for anything, for the fact that he's your elder. That at least is tradition!

That really sucks, and since you mentioned it, I think we went into a commitment out of love. I never felt he respected me either. I think that is our problem. Love alone is not enough for a marriage and maybe the marriage itself is a mistake in our case. If you respect somebody, none of this would happen.

jennykadry:

Onye ara

I think she's spoilt though, she sounds like someone who is used to having her way all the time and if she doesn't there must be problem

Oh sister, You have to have the last word, don't you? Well, go ahead. If your marriage is working, I guess you owe it to your husband who must be totally submissive. And thats what you seem to be so proud of and flaunting it all around. But you are practically of no use to people who need advice.

everyone already jumping on her and cursing her full force. chei  

unsuregirl:

Probably I don't know the ways of the world. Hence, I am asking this question,  Is it true that a man deserves respect by being a man and just cause of his half Y chromosose? I heard this from a few people and I am not asking this to argue about it but I genuinely had never given that a thought before. I had thought that one has to earn respect irrespective of their genders. I doubt if either of us in my marriage deserves to be respected. But again, respect a man for being born a man Really?

yea. that is the "nigerian way" I put nigerian way in quotation because even though we say this, the fact of the matter is that nigerian women can be fierce and I know many nigerian women that don't seem like they would tolerate any rubbish from their husbands (jenny kadry seem like one of those whose husband would be too scared to even try to raise his fingers on her). lol
i've been suspecting from the start that you may not be nigerian. or haven't lived in nigeria for long. are you?

the way people say be submissive and you'll have a peaceful home etc. I mean what's the point of having a peaceful home when you are sacrificing your dignity by being a slave to your husband? To me respect is earned not a male entitlement only.
it's normal to have fights and arguments. but yea this was a big one but I hope you will sort through the advice that's applicable to your situation and those that are not.

but I hope you learned your lesson though.