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After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by GiantParrot(m): 9:28pm On Jun 23, 2021


Now, what if I told you that none of what we've discussed so far constitute substantive measures of spirituality? Would that sound silly to you?

@OP and CSTRR

Be careful what you count as spirituality. Ask yourselves, is what I call spirituality truly what God counts as spirituality?

Christ had warned his followers to be wary about appearances of spirituality, see Matthew 7:21-23. And in Matthew 7:16, He says you shall know them by their fruit.

The Spirit already has fruits
by which it can be known: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, etc Galatians 5:22-23. These are the biblical measures of spirituality, and love is the principal measure of spirituality.

This love is properly defined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The same 1 Corinthians 13: 1-2, and vs 8 clearly state that many of those things that you mistake for spirituality today are useless without love, which solidifies the point that love is the ultimate measure of spirituality.

Now, take a good look at love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and if you're honest with yourselves, you will agree that love is very difficult to find in our society and all those appearances of spirituality (tongues, prophecy, etc) are easy to find, and are mostly empty because of the lack of love.

@OP, I believe there's a good  chance your heart is sincere, but you have been misled by heretical notions of spirituality and this is causing you problems. I'll advise that you make you decision on your perception of how much love (as captured in 1 Corinthians 13:14-18) resides in your fiance. If you're are interested in true Christian spirituality, then you should be able to make a good decision.

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Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by jesmond3945: 10:17pm On Jun 23, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
see you can never have it all. You just keep on praying and working on him. My dad was the same, even my wife too. My dad is better now and more committed. My wife is work in progress. It is not easy my dear, sometimes you would just get upset about the whole thing.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by favour32(m): 10:24pm On Jun 23, 2021
Nor worry.... continue to select...time day.
If you check most churches na this kind lady full there after dem don look for Mr perfect tire...dem go miss their opportunity,.. den later come say dem nor see husband marry..... many ladies full churches wey nor marry till date because of this attitude.
Las las, na dem dey regret for life as when dem dey younger dem dey select up and down until time pass dem.

4 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Karleb(m): 10:27pm On Jun 23, 2021
Mumu girl. Time waster.

What is the difference between catholic and pentecostal?

Religion has eaten your brain. I don't blame you though, you didn't spend a dime in the intro.

6 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Karleb(m): 10:30pm On Jun 23, 2021
binary007:
You dated for 3 years and you are just getting convinced that he isn't the one after introduction?





The girl na mumu now.

3 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Nobody: 10:44pm On Jun 23, 2021
Heheheh. Hanty come read this.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Lamasta(m): 11:10pm On Jun 23, 2021
@OP I support you looking for a man that will complement your spiritual life but I will advice you to be wary of indoctrinations that pull other denominations down as been less christian than others...
True worshippers of God are those who worship Him in TRUTH and in SPIRIT and not in denominations....

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by coolhumble(m): 11:11pm On Jun 23, 2021
Then ask God. It's never too late to ask in prayers and fasting so you will know what you are getting into or the man you are getting involved with.


mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Misterone: 11:30pm On Jun 23, 2021
livingchrist:

You cant shy away from the truth religion is an important marital criteria that shouldnt be overlooked @bold I pity for your wife,she is carrying load she is not suppose to carry, your wife is certainly not happy for your condition , do you know as you are satan can just make use of you any time he wishes? I laugh, yes sir you cant change a leopard's skin that is why you should let the leopard go instead of endangering your life.
live and let live. Go and Marry your bishop pastor reverend father Apostle husband. Right now, you are jumping from pillar to post. Soon body go tell you say all mallam with him kettle.

4 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by njele: 11:33pm On Jun 23, 2021
Your man church should be your church, I can't marry a woman we will dress on Sunday morning and head towards different directions. Follow your man. Fanatic

2 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Obakashdee(m): 11:37pm On Jun 23, 2021
Tell us the bad things he is doing that you don’t like, stop talking what we don’t know
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by NoToPile: 11:43pm On Jun 23, 2021
Ignore those who are trying to make this issue a denominational one, as if we dont have even pastors that dont have traces of being born again. 2 people can even be in the same church and you might still not get that conviction from God that he is okay to be your head spiritually.

People have turned down proposals from even perceived anointed spirikoko guys for reasons like this.

Don't say it's not important, it is. Whoever you marry will be your spiritual head, listen to that voice that is warning you, search deeper and ask for the reasons why you are uneasy.God knows in the realm of the unknown, he sees in the realm of the unseen. There's a reason why you are uneasy find out.

Marriage no be moimoi, its more than I loff you loff you. Ensure the person has a good relationship with God and obeys God oo ehen.Its a disaster for a born again lady to marry a man who is not born again,

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Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Chanchit: 11:43pm On Jun 23, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...


Religious fanatics are the most stu peed set of people you can ever come across in the society. The guy set no dey see, once I notice say your sense don dey shake. Me sef go dump you ni ASAP.

6 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by otis3(m): 12:15am On Jun 24, 2021
Was it Jesus Christ or the holy Spirit that tells u that the ticket to paradise is being a pentacostal member?
people that does not live a Christ like that claim to be a christain ....see let me tell you, that broda that you believed is holy ghost filled will soon disappoint you. shebi it was after the introduction that you realized broda holy ghost filled is a better option abi.
continue ooo...they always lied on holy spirit say..God say....while the simple commandment in bible, they can't fulfill.
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...[/quote]
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 12:48am On Jun 24, 2021
njele:
Your man church should be your church, I can't marry a woman we will dress on Sunday morning and head towards different directions. Follow your man. Fanatic

What are you saying?

Why should a woman leave her church for a man who made that rule abeg stop complicating things for people and respect your woman's decision to do what works for her let her choose her church she mustn't attend yours
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 12:50am On Jun 24, 2021
All these Pentecostal churches and their disdain for the Catholic church is something else.
Op has been brainwashed and fed lies and she has become a fanatic.I agree with everybody criticising you because you are the problem.

5 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Nobody: 1:00am On Jun 24, 2021
Tloc:


My dear young lady, that path of religious piety which you assume you on is your step to DOOM. Stay woke and refine your RELIGIOUS views to be in tandem with contemporary life realities and grow your inert spirituality. Be far away from religious extremism and you would live a more fulfilled LIFE. I am sure that young man's mind and soul is purer than all your Pentecostal pastors' put together. Shalom.

100% correct. It’s the man I am worried about not her.

2 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Qurungu: 1:01am On Jun 24, 2021
If you’re not comfortable, leave. Marriage no be one week or one year issue. A marriage you’re not happy in, for whatever reason, will make you miserable.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Giftexx: 1:02am On Jun 24, 2021
U were never a Catholic cos if after baptism and confirmation, you still think u are not born again, then...

6 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by alexvic12: 1:02am On Jun 24, 2021
I perfectly understand you. Please, take time to pray and seek God's face.

WE MARRY FOR KINGDOM ADVANCEMENT AND NOT FOR ONLY LOVE!

If he doesn't think being a Christian goes deeper than the 'normal Christian life' that most people lead, please pause or even call off the wedding.

Forget about age or pressure; focus on God.

He will send his choice to you. Remember, WE MARRY FOR KINGDOM ADVANCEMENT AND NOT FOR ONLY LOVE!!

3 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by pluto3(m): 1:03am On Jun 24, 2021
Indirectly you are saying Catholics ain't born again....
From your post.... honestly you are the 1 that have a problem....
If you want to look for an excuse... look for but for all these you typed here.... you got no single excuse

2 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by alexvic12: 1:06am On Jun 24, 2021
She didn't disdain the Catholic Church. When you become born again, you'll discover that there are certain things that you may never get to learn about in the Catholic church; things that are essential to a deeper spiritual life. It's the truth.
There is no honest catholic who listens to Apostle Selman, Orokpo, etc. and will not hunger for more.

Ladyhippolyta88:
All these Pentecostal churches and their disdain for the Catholic church is something else.
Op has been brainwashed and fed lies and she has become a fanatic.I agree with everybody criticising you because you are the problem.


1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 1:06am On Jun 24, 2021
Marry him, he will later change and become Pentecostal pastor
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by InvertedHammer: 1:08am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
/
Has it occurred to you that you may be the one with the problem? Religion and spirituality are two different things. Most overtly religious ladies are indecisive and no man's asset is safe with them. An unscrupulous pastor can easily hoodwink such feebleminded lady to leave her marriage, donate their asset to the church or spend a significant amount of time at the church. The only effort that such pastor needs to make is to say that the Holy Spirit said after supposedly embarking on "fasting and praying". If you want to rely on prayers to pick a partner, you are one step closer to a life of misery. Be human for a minute and use your brain. I think you should leave this man alone before you destroy his life.
/

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by zionzoe(m): 1:08am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
MADAM, what of if what you thought is right about dat COLONIZATION born again thing Is not as it is in reality, then you loose your man ?

Look i am HEBREW, and you guys used our texts as bases of your Christianity today.

If you are good friends, marry him.

However, drop some of your extremism. Humanity is more spiritual than today's so called spirituality.

You can take this to the MARKET.

You need to adjust your view.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Jorge91: 1:12am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
you have not looked for husband thats why, my father never went to church but my mother is a pastor they are happily for more than 35years now, u have more influence in the children life take them to church, just leave ur husband be.

2 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by akinwun(m): 1:12am On Jun 24, 2021
If truly you are in connection with Jesus, i would advice you to pause and pray with humility of heart and be ready to follow whatever He says without delay.
Ordinarily, i would have asked you to back off as it is already a yoke between a believer and unbeliever, but it is better to hear from Christ directly, for He is wiser than all of us.
Again, whatever He tells you, that do without caring about whose ox is gored.
And when you have done this, don't ever at any time try to turn your back on him, for the enemies will be waiting to mock you on this decision in case of any eventuality. Let him have absolute control from then on. Shalom.

2 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by saajus: 1:14am On Jun 24, 2021
I am not very familiar with Catholic tenets. What are the things they do that you think it's a big deal to you as a Pentecostal/Protestant?

Questions;
Let's talk about his behaviors. Let's forget religion, for now, cos I've seen many unbelievers that are far better than Christians that go to Church every day, let's talk about his human side. Does he love ppl? Is he compassionate? How does he manage anger? Does he care about people, family, and his friends? Does he smoke or do drugs? I know Catholics drink, does he drink? Drinking is not a sin by the way.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by mozona(m): 1:14am On Jun 24, 2021
You are the one with the problem cos he choose not to leave catholic church.

Cos he is still a catholic you are now seeing him differently, anything he does you count it against him.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by aryzgreat: 1:20am On Jun 24, 2021
Now I know why your junior sister married before you.

Who knows the fake pastor deceiving this one

Nonsense!

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