isale_gan2:

Great post.  But I have to disagree with the comment that Black men are not the ones championing a return to natural beauty for black women.  I'm sure you know it takes all sorts of people to make the world go round.

If you read this site often, you'll see a deluge of posts from some very vocal men complaining about the only types of women they meet being gold-diggers or what-not; conversely, there are lots of posts from some women trashing Nigerian men.  While the sensible people of both gender know that you attract the company you keep.  

Even before the fake weave was a common sight, my Nigerian grandfather was warning his daughters about using straightening combs and the dangers of putting relaxer in our hair.  He'd say, just imagine something that burns your scalp so much, after dozens and hundreds of times subjecting yourself to that, what it could be doing to the organ directly beneath your scalp.  I've seen other articles written about the health risks of hair relaxers, but I'll leave it out since it's a little removed from the crux of this thread.  

Following on the older generation's warnings, most of the people that express incredulity at the fakeness of popular hairstyles and the prevailing beauty culture of black women, are black men.  For every one black woman that expresses a desire to, or that does, maintain a natural look, you will find 10 black men that have said same - from siblings to friends to co-workers to in-laws.  I really cannot blame the men for this trend.  You must bear in mind that, because the "celebrities" maintain a certain look and men are salivating over them does not mean they prefer that for their mates.  After all, they're really attracted to more than just the hair.

P.S. Addressing other posters, I don't subscribe to the viewpoint that the style (always) shows low self-esteem or a desire to be white.  Rather, it is just the way things are.  And most girls don't question or challenge it until they are older and wiser.

Jiah011:

@ isale_gan2: I agree with what you said and I see your point. Sometimes, I just feel like the general trend is so unfavorable. But I guess those that are close to you and sincerely care will always tell you the truth and consider the natural you most beautiful. There seems to be a difference between women that men will marry and those they'll date. I just don't like the finger pointing and calling women fake when they are doing what men respond to most. The older generation does seem to value true beauty more, but its difficult to find among the younger group and my peers. One must do a lot of sifting to find genuine people these days, both men and women. But it seems that men will pick the flashy looking women over the more reserved ones more often, even when it comes to marriage.

Calling women that wear weaves fake doesn't solve the problem. There has to be a general change in perception by black/ Nigerian men. As a Nigerian myself, I think we can do more to promote healthier interactions between men and women. It's funny because in the U.S. there seems to be a growing number of women wearing their natural hair. Blacks there often assume that African women are natural, thus Nigerians in Nigeria as well. That is a great misconception and it's laughable too, but that is a whole different debate.

But men, if no extensions/ attachments/ weaves, what do you want black women to do and how will you work to accept their change? At the end of the day, every woman wants to look and feel beautiful and she wants the men in her life to acknowledge that.