sexxxxy:

Richyblack:
I don't think theres anything wrong with a woman wanting her man to b succesful and ambitious,we all know the popular saying"Behind every succesful man theres a woman,so y shouldnt she push her man,i'll push him.

Bill clinton and all the other great leaders did not become presidents while they were single

Push your man but please don't push him out of the beautiful house he bought, I take God beg you! One's ambition should not eclipse the love, loyalty and commitment to one's partner. The nurse knew this guy did not have a US degree (but Yabatech OND is a degree) and still agreed to marriage, _{abi na bicos the guy dey obodo oyibo}?

sweetchick:

And the marriage between the cabby and nurse ended? is any one really surprised? of course, the guys think it was all the lady's fault. Tell me how many of you as professional people would hook up with a maid or cleaner. And I am not disparaging people like that. But the social gap is really wide, If you are really truthful none of you will

@sweetchick, wetin u dey yarn? The girl was nothing when the guy married her. She knew the guy was a happy cab driver in Los Angeles. The guy did not hide it. She agreed to marriage, not under duress, no gun pointed to her head, was an adult (consent automatically assumed), not inebriated, understood the meaning of a taxi-driver, etc. etc. But finally showed him pepper.

As a professional man I'll hook up with a girl with at least 1st degree, but if I find myself (you never know) with some girl who only finished from Araromi Community Secondary School, Papa-Ajao and has no 1st degree after all the years since secondary school, and I still go ahead to hook up with her. Why on earth would I expect her to get a degree from MIT? I will simply love her for who she is. All this over-ambition go kill some people one day.

The saying that there is no romance without finance aint no joke.Even if some of our ladies don't verbally affirm it,the truth remains that it remains an unwritten principle in relationships.For the guys,wetin we go do?

i'm not sure education is the problem. after all didier drogba, ballack, lampard, michael owen, john terry etc all those premiership stars did not go to university. some no even complete college sef, yet babes dey flow. i think it's the money/unemploment thingy.

if the cab driver brings home £1000 a day, the professor wife go love am. if the professor husband has not money the wife no go love am.
fellow men(especially ibos and those who want to marry ibo women) money is the final word. most women wont care how the money came o, some wont even ask what job you do. make we de pray for money o. i have postponed my marriage indefinitely twice. infact the last time i even postponed the relationship as i dey now i de hussle out my life. e go better some day. . . . .

There is a still small bunch of women out there that can have a wholesome relationship regardless of finacial status, honest!

der even some  guys,despite all the dedication ordinary 20 naira call they would find it difficult ,complaining they don't have money.for three weeks no call the girl calls all most every day  thats d girls job,she doesn't ask for money,she render assistance she's capable of,but just for the guy to call or even tell her to call back he would never do that.but if der is anything urgent he needs he would deffinately call.is that love from him.20 naira wouldn't kill him just for communication but if he shows some cares,the girl would still appreciate it even if their is no money but no sich things.money is not everthing my dear nairalanders luv can subdew it if is realy strong

Let me tell you about my own experience in this matter,

I had a job but my ex didn't, she had just finished NYSC and was contemplating whether to take a master's or get a job, eventually it was whichever one came up first, along the line cus of the way things were in the country she couldnt start her masters or get a job after several months post NYSC (all the while I was supportive & encouraging her) & on one fateful day she asked me if I still loved her despite the fact she didn't have a job, I was like what did that mean? (inside me I was like What The F*ckI didnt start dating you cus of your employment status) so I asked her again what did that mean? She told me I should forget about it & I promptly did so, (Had I known I would have just said YES! and all the other sweet nothings she wanted to hear but alas!, ) & that was the beginning of the END cus it all went down hill after that, & we eventually broke up!

BUT now she has a plum job, which, not to brag or boast I helped her to get, & I am a broke ass, unemployed N.*.G.G.A! (LMAO!!!)

In the absence of true love and trust for each other then it will neva work out most expecially when it is the man in the relationship that is unemployed.

Bblak, love is not enuf, the woman wont take love to the market to pay for groceries, so money is essential at all times.

I hear you rhino.
love will not buy moi moi.
neither can you pay for ugu leaves "in the currency of love"

+osisi:

I hear you rhino.
love will not buy moi moi.
neither can you pay for ugu leaves "in the currency of love"

BabyO

no romance without finance i don die

@sweetchick I dont agree with you at all. Here in the UK the carpenters and d likes even make more money than the so-called nurses. Relationships should be built on committment, caring and mutual trust and not on status what you do, how much money you have, how many houses you own, what car you drive and all that.

I have alwayz known Nigerian guyz to be insecure and here they are displaying their insecurity and low self esteem.
But nevertheless,there might be a few of them that aint insecure,

@ topic,
Its quite obvious that relationships nowadays are funny and not a lot of people actually know what they want from their partners,
Its pretty difficult to cope with an unemployed partner,most especially if u're a lady and you've got a job,because it takes lots of patience and the grace of God to cope with this because all the casual things that you normally say or do becomes big issues and all your partner will ever say is that you've changed and no longer respects him because he is jobless and would have forgotten the fact that they are normal stuffs that goes on in the relationship

Another sad thing is that your friemd will never help matter,if you're a gurl,they keep tellin you about what their guy has done for them and if you are guy,they complain about the way your guy treats you.

But we all have got to realise taht its never possible to be in a relationship without trials of faith,its just sad that after making all this sacrifices,your partner still do silly stuffs,

slazyyy, sometimes we tend to compare death and sleeping, u cant compare the handywork in da western world with da one in nija, we all know that handiwork in western world is real money and they make good money, so no comparison, be real, salzzy, you have spent all your hard earn money on your daughter and now she is a medical doctor, i nija oh, and she now come home and say, Mom, here is the man that God has blessed me with, Dad asked the Mr. man, what kinda work do you do, i am a carpentar, i am sure you will tell the daughter of yours, darling, i beg, go and pray more, cos i am sure you havent heard well from God, it is a natural thing, dont get me wrong, i have no prob with handiwork, however, tehre needs to be improvement to how they are treated in nija and how they do their work.
That being said, if you ave the means to make the carpenter become a furniture designer and get him a nice office at Lekki where he can sell one chair for good money, pls go ahead, but then, how do u know that when he see money, he wont start speading his wings with "small girl seling rice' cos you could take bath a pig, but sometimes, they do go bath to take a bath in da mud

hotchic, i do agree with you on a lot, however, i disagree with your friends not helping matter, nice to have friends, but u gotta be grown enuf to let them know that, when it comes to your love life, it is your cup of kenyan coffee and you wanna drink alone, advice is nice, but u decide what is best for you.

$$Rhino:

hotchic, i do agree with you on a lot, however, i disagree with your friends not helping matter, nice to have friends, but u gotta be grown enough to let them know that, when it comes to your love life, it is your cup of kenyan coffee and you want to drink alone, advice is nice, but u decide what is best for you.

I really understand you and personally,i don't discuss my love affair or relationship with anybody,its my problem and all decision i take based on my personal opinion but its quite common,ladies tend to do it and guys does thesame thing and people compare their relationship with other people's relationship,

$$Rhino:

slazyyy, sometimes we tend to compare death and sleeping, u can't compare the handywork in da western world with da one in nija, we all know that handiwork in western world is real money and they make good money, so no comparison, be real, salzzy, you have spent all your hard earn money on your daughter and now she is a medical doctor, i nija oh, and she now come home and say, Mom, here is the man that God has blessed me with, Dad asked the Mr. man, what kind of work do you do, i am a carpentar, i am sure you will tell the daughter of yours, darling, i beg, go and pray more, because i am sure you havent heard well from God, it is a natural thing, don't get me wrong, i have no prob with handiwork, however, tehre needs to be improvement to how they are treated in nija and how they do their work.
That being said, if you ave the means to make the carpenter become a furniture designer and get him a nice office at Lekki where he can sell one chair for good money, please go ahead, but then, how do u know that when he see money, he wont start speading his wings with "small girl seling rice' because you could take bath a pig, but sometimes, they do go bath to take a bath in da mud

I know oo my brother,people who does handiwork in Nigeria are treated with little or no respect and usually most of them don't act as if they want one,i think that is one of the thing that really needs to change in that country,hopefully,over years,our perspective will change,

na person wey chop belleful go worry abt romance abi. am sure you can't kiss a gal when you are hungry. so get your pocket going and all shall be well

hot chic:

I have alwayz known Nigerian guys to be insecure and here they are displaying their insecurity and low self esteem.
But nevertheless,there might be a few of them that aint insecure,

@ topic,
Its quite obvious that relationships nowadays are funny and not a lot of people actually know what they want from their partners,
Its pretty difficult to cope with an unemployed partner,most especially if u're a lady and you've got a job,because it takes lots of patience and the grace of God to cope with this because all the casual things that you normally say or do becomes big issues and all your partner will ever say is that you've changed and no longer respects him because he is jobless and would have forgotten the fact that they are normal stuffs that goes on in the relationship

Another sad thing is that your friemd will never help matter,if you're a girl,they keep tellin you about what their guy has done for them and if you are guy,they complain about the way your guy treats you.

But we all have got to realise taht its never possible to be in a relationship without trials of faith,its just sad that after making all this sacrifices,your partner still do silly stuffs,

Please rephrase those sentences above.
If a man said Nigerian women were gold diggers and ashewo,you wouldn't like that.
BTW,I'm not a man

omoge:

na person wey chop belleful go worry about romance abi. am sure you can't kiss a girl when you are hungry. so [b]get your pocket going and all shall be well :[/b]D

Nwanne m you hit the nail on the head, gbai !
Toshmann and the other brothers,you still have hope.
Where there is life,there is hope

Whoever coined the phrase that love is all that's needed in marriage,told a lie.

Osisi my brother, are you talking from experience or out of wisdom, ?, God forbid i loose my job while in a relashionship,,,i would rather take up OKADA work than to sit at home to welcome my woman day after day, pending on when the BONE shall rise again

Openspace,you read me wrongly.I said that okada and cab driving was ok by me as a temporary measure rather than have the man sitting around drinking lipton and eating agege bread.

Btw na woman I be

Everybody made useful contributions base on perception. +osisi, $$Rhino, Omoge et al could you pause to take a look at this:

MKO Abiola could not afford to buy even an egg when he met Simbiat. Simbi was from a comfortable home and it was in her house that Abiola first tasted egg in his life. The was nothing about him that show he would be rich. He was so poor. Yet, his romance with Simbiat changed everything. Little wonder why Simbiat was honoured even in death. Abiola's will made special reference to Simbiat children.

I have read biographies and short stories of Famous people. I noticed that most Rich successful men don't have anything when they met their wives.

Using this short extract, I want you to take note and comment on these foundamental issue.

1. What you have at the begining doesn't count. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WHAT WAS ON THE INSIDE.

2. There is a saying that behind every successful man is a woman. Are women of today affraid or are they not so money conscious that they forget they have the power to influence any man to success? The story of many great men show the role a particular woman played in their respective life to succeed. If Abraham Lincoln, Napolleon Hills, Henry Ford, Muhamed, Zig Ziglar, John Forpe, Andrew Carnigie etc were to be a Nigerian does it mean the world would have been robbed of such great men? Why then are most Nigerians looking for a Millionaire as spouse?

3. What would you say of a man who is very comfortable during courtship but later lost his fortune after marriage? Should the wife pack her bags or should she stay and suffer with him?

4. Did you ever pause to meditate on the fact that a man can be broke and have nothing to show yet possess ingredients of success? There must therefore be diffence between a hardworking, visionary but jobless man and a useless man. How do you distinguish the two since their conditions look alike?

Please ponders.

we have not reached that stage of thinking where money does not become an issue in relationships and i fear we may never reach that level. those who are married to wealthy men discover that money is not everything, but give them the option of leaving such marriages and u would be suprised that many would refuse all because of the false comfort money brings. a young lady would promise eternal devotion to a young man but let that bros from yankee come around and the music will change.

the truth is when we huff and puff about money not being an issue the way we turn the cheek at the sight of "brighter opportuinities" says differently. in summary to my fellow men out there my advise is that we should commit ourselves to working hard to ensure that we are able to provide the basic needs for our families, we may not have millions but at least we are able to take care of our families. let us look out for women who do not judge us by the content of our pocket but the quality of our person and is ready to support and bring out the best in us.

olanajim:

I have read biographies and short stories of Famous people. I noticed that most Rich successful men don't have anything when they met their wives.

you mean am?. . . . . . . . . . . hope dey o

Please do a little research of self made Millionaires. And leader of substance past and present. The library is never short of book. When you read, take note of their love life and how they met their partners. Please do it.

Degubi, you are right and wrong. We have been there, we are still there. The fact that 20 people speak does not mean they represent the 140 milion people.

You are right in your observation. We have alot of hypocrites selling their love to the highest bidder. They don't want to suffer.

They only want to reap!

olanajim my brother, i hope we get there. but what i stand for is for men to rise up and take charge of their lives, to surround themselves with sowers and not reapers, to be proud of themselves in their own eyes, to play the man. u do not need to own a lexus jeep to be worth something, if a lady will not look ur way because u have no convertible, that is her own cup of kunu.

Yes I agreed with you in that regard. I also request men to test their prospective wife (same to women) before marriage. A man/woman after money is just a parasite. We must decide to make gold-diggers useless in the midst of opportunity. That way someone would learn art of endurance. But, it can't happen overnight.

God help those entangled in the web of love created by materialism.

olanajim:

Everybody made useful contributions base on perception. +osisi, $$Rhino, Omoge et al could you pause to take a look at this:

MKO Abiola could not afford to buy even an egg when he met Simbiat. Simbi was from a comfortable home and it was in her house that Abiola first tasted egg in his life. The was nothing about him that show he would be rich. He was so poor. Yet, his romance with Simbiat changed everything. Little wonder why Simbiat was honoured even in death. Abiola's will made special reference to Simbiat children.

I have read biographies and short stories of Famous people. I noticed that most Rich successful men don't have anything when they met their wives.

Using this short extract, I want you to take note and comment on these foundamental issue.

1. What you have at the begining doesn't count. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WHAT WAS ON THE INSIDE.

2. There is a saying that behind every successful man is a woman. Are women of today affraid or are they not so money conscious that they forget they have the power to influence any man to success? The story of many great men show the role a particular woman played in their respective life to succeed. If Abraham Lincoln, Napolleon Hills, Henry Ford, Muhamed, Zig Ziglar, John Forpe, Andrew Carnigie etc were to be a Nigerian does it mean the world would have been robbed of such great men? Why then are most Nigerians looking for a Millionaire as spouse?

3. What would you say of a man who is very comfortable during courtship but later lost his fortune after marriage? Should the wife pack her bags or should she stay and suffer with him?

4. Did you ever pause to meditate on the fact that a man can be broke and have nothing to show yet possess ingredients of success? There must therefore be diffence between a hardworking, visionary but jobless man and a useless man. How do you distinguish the two since their conditions look alike?

Please ponders.

And when he became rich and could buy the chicken plus the eggs,how did he repay her?
By marrying as many women as his bed could accomodate.
Please let's hear something!
Biko use an upright monogamous man as an example not a whoring polygamist with concubines in every geopolitical district.

Bill Gate is monogamous, Abraham Lincoln is monogamous. Virtually everyone except the Nigerian are monogamous! Please cross check and answer the question instead of going into a seperate topic. Even MKO that you are trying to use was very grateful to his first wife even till death. Please find out why MKO didn't go into politics while his first wife is alive. Also, go and check who benefit the most from MKO's Will. It is on nairaland in the paper. Please don't let go into polygamy. Let discuss issue at hand. There is a seperate thread for that.

Kind go back to the questions l posted for you and answer them sincerely one by one.

Thanks

no need to get your boxers all up in a bunch dear.
of what use is a man whose wife stood by his side till he gained wealth only to acquire insatiable taste of women.
Aren't we discussing marriage and ,money or lack of it.
I didn't go off to any tangents.

I already answered your question prior to your posing it.
Any reasonable and loving woman would not leave her succesful man when the going is rough unless he becomes a raging abusive lunatic at that time because he can't handle life's curve balls.

MKO is a bad example, so let's not use him here.

_{b t w let him rest as his women carry on.}

quote

Biko use an upright monogamous man as an example not a whoring polygamist with concubines in every geopolitical district.

haha, true.