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Stats: 1172093 members, 1480157 topics. Date: Friday, 06 December 2013 at 10:42 AM
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by jennykadry(f): 10:32am On Mar 07, 2012|
CC I read your comments too and that was like a slap on my cheek(I was still recovering from the slap hence my First reply to debrief)your posts woke me up from a deep slumber and the one that got to me was when you said "how will God want us to handle some cases" God bless you for the slap, you remind me of my elder sister, how she manages to calm me down is what I don't know. God bless you plentifully and may you find an x5 on your front porch tomorrow.
Ehnnnnn dont worry about sutures, I just stitched someone's head this morning so I can suture myself if need be. how can someone drop the 14 inches one? People dey slack. Do you know how many women pray for things that big? Holy cow. If na man he needs to wear iron pants lest I violation him very night.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by chaircover: 10:40am On Mar 07, 2012|
Now you are talking
That is the Best thing you have said in all the years I have known you on NL
Amen Amen and Amen . . . . . . .
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by OAM4J: 4:21pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Thank you CC, debrief and others who advocated for peace. And am also happy with all of you that embraced peace.
Moving forward, I think there is one or 2 lessons we all can learn from what happened with the benefit of hindsight.
I know a lot of people see jk and bb as fighters/troublemakers, but underneath those "i will say it as I see it, raw and undiluted without giving a damm how anyone feels" lies some hard truth and realities. Looking back I wish many people saw beyond other things and embrace the intelligent advices bb gave. I remember many times the consultant we got from Lagoon Hospital said she should not rush for surgery until we get to the root cause of her problem. (Which was the same thing bb was saying all along).
To our surprise, a day to the day the consultant was scheduled to meet perx after series of email exchanges through us between perx and the consultant, she admitted herself to UBTH, and the doctor that refused to operate her but recommended her for treatment abroad for more than 2yrs suddenly wanted to operate her in a hurry. She told us the same time she posted it on NL and the surprise was part of the reason we were slow in answering some of the questions on the thread over that decision. In between her exchanges with us I could sense some people were unprofessionally advising her against waiting for the consultant: They thought we were trying to waste money. Then I wish there were many bb to tell her to go back home.
TeHN had no choice than to support her and pray for her, cos if we did otherwise, many of her advisers will see us as playing God with her life even though we were walking on a professional advice and some common senses.
Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming perx; far from it, anyone in her pain and condition will want to have a solution as quick as possible, including me. But I wish perx had many bb as her advisers, just maybe she might still be alive today.
It is painful for us in TeHN beyond what many of you will understand. Tears rushed out of my eyes, when I read the comment of the consultant we got her, after he was told she passed on, he said "You guys allowed her to walk into her death". To him like bb also said, she shouldn't have been operated, just yet. So as her advisers, I think many of us might have failed her for not telling her enough truth.
Now to BB and Jenny:
People need the truth. Truth sets people free. But very few people can handle the truth raw and undiluted. That is why we are humans, only matured ones can see the truth in its raw form; though painful and hurting will still embrace it as the truth.
But I wish you ladies will change your approach of telling the truth and give a damm. What you don't know is that the truth you have might be a life saver if you properly administer it. Like many medications requiring small doses over a period of time to heal a sick.
Just think about it, may be if you ladies have used a more friendly tone in telling the truth and have avoided the bashing, possibly, just may be, we might still have perx with us today.
Thanks all. It is well.
Note: jk= jennykadry, bb=busybody and my post is not on behalf of TeHN.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by jennykadry(f): 4:28pm On Mar 07, 2012|
I agreed with everything you posted but this. Are we to blame now for what happened? Please read this post of yours and tell me what it sounds like in your ears.
We all need to stop apportioning blames indirectly and directly. It is nobody's fault she passed on. We all wished her well and wanted her to get better. The only problem I had was the time gap between both surgeries and she was already admitted into UBTH. Truth is, she was in so much pain for years and wanted to get out of it. There was nothing anybody could have done, it all was in God's hands and he knew best.
She trusted the TEHN team, yous are the only ones that had her direct contact and was handling the financial aspect of the whole thing, if you people could not stop her from admitting herself then I don't know if anybody else could have. She wanted to be free from all these, if only she knew, if only she knew. . . .
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 4:32pm On Mar 07, 2012|
I know this is supposed to be peace time but I don't think it is fair to the memory of Perx to suggest that some advisers pushed her to her death. Hold it there! She told me why she went to hospital and it is not for the reasons you gave. I hate this!
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 4:34pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Accept that it was her time to go, no ifs, buts maybes, or if she listened to uses. I find it extremely distasteful. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by OAM4J: 4:35pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Not at all, dont get me wrong, am not blaming anyone. the key phrase in the part you quoted is "possibly, just may be". My aim is for us to see if there are better ways/approaches we can use handling things going forward.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 4:44pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Oga, "possibly, just may be" is just an euphemism for saying you want to be wiser than God. If I want to follow your route ehn, this place will be in e-flames O. Let us just let this sleep!
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by jennykadry(f): 4:50pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Possibly just maybe if we had acted well she would still be alive, How is that different from what I said? How would you feel if I said just possibly just maybe if one of yous or all of yous had travelled down there and got her out from UBTH or if you people had insisted on her waiting for the consultant , just maybe she would still be alive?
I won't say that because I know everybody meant well and it is nobody's fault here that she's passed on, whether we put it in a nice way or not, nobody should get any blame for it
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by OAM4J: 4:57pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Why are you screaming to get my response. I saw your 2 earlier posts and I ignore them. "possibly, just may be" is simple enough to understand without your advanced oxford dictionary explanations. Why are you jumping on me? Are you the one that advised her to go for surgery? or did I mention you in any way in my post? Please let me alone, I have said my piece.
I will feel nothing Jenny. It is a POSSIBILITY worth considering/learning from for future cases.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 5:02pm On Mar 07, 2012|
You are sure right that I am screaming at you but I don't want your response, I want your silence. You are not teaching anybody anything with your comments, just making people angry. I am trying to calm down but seriously I could write you a book on lessons to be learnt from Perx's case but I refrain and I ask you to do the same.
We will just end-up disliking each other if we want to get into details. The devil is in the details.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by jennykadry(f): 5:08pm On Mar 07, 2012|
It is a possibility not worth considering. Blaming people for Perx' death is unbelievable. What the hell were you thinking when you typed that? Yea you feel nothing but guess what? I am a human being and I felt something and believe me, no way on earth will I look at someone and tell them that if only they were nice in their approach a deceased person will still be here with us. No I have a conscience and wouldn't say that. See the way you put some part of the blame on me and BB but got yourself out of it by saying "You had to support her in her decision" WHY THE FUK DIDN'T YOU GET HER OUT OF UBTH IF THE CONSULTANT WHO WAS WELL KNOWN WAS AGAINST IT?
You know what, keep your write up and show it to people that would really take it seriously. Everyone apologised to perx and moved on, we apologised to perx before she admitted herself. If she still went ahead and did it then it is nobody's fault
You know what? I am not doing this, I refuse to do this.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by jennykadry(f): 5:12pm On Mar 07, 2012|
How dare you OAM4J, how freaking dare you?
You have no idea how hard I am trying to be calm here, you have no idea. God have mercy on you
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by Idowuogbo(f): 5:15pm On Mar 07, 2012|
maclatunji:Hmmm tunji she told u y she went,after or before u asked wot she went to do in d hospital? U won't admit the undercover conversations that went on would u? Perx offered to share woeva was going on with me but I refused to pick up a truck load of stuff I didn't have answers 4.I won't push u to cough out d obvious,but all I gat to say is Oam4 and BB made some solid points in regards to d surgery decision Perx made.I was fuming wen she came on thread and screamed "badoskkkkkky pray 4 me ,I dey hospital" but I had to endure woeva I felt and I continued wiv d prayers and campaigns. I did dat cus it was so obvious Perx hated herself laying so helplessly at home.
Tunji quit bin so jumpy, it almost seems wen a member of Tehn makes a speech about Perx u jump out wiv claws like they some enemy of progress or u guys have some sort of hidden beef.As usual I don't make sense,so do U it's all love rite!
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 5:17pm On Mar 07, 2012|
@bolded, that is the plain truth. His sense of entitlement to pontificate made me sick! I have a right to be angry at it, I just do. OAM4J, that write-up was ill-conceived, anybody that tells you otherwise is either myopic or a confirmed hypocrite. What you should have done is to wait for her burial and then come-up with suggestions for handling future cases based on lessons that you think YOU (not anybody else) have learnt from her case and the events surrounding it.
Other people would tell their own and the world would be a better place, shay?
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 5:24pm On Mar 07, 2012|
She told me why she went to the hospital after I asked the question that you referred to of course. I have a greater sense of responsibility than you because I took on the responsibility that you admit you avoided, I respect you for the decision. What OAM4J said in his long post there is an insult to Perx above any other thing and that makes me really angry. He doesn't know it but it is the truth!
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by OAM4J: 5:25pm On Mar 07, 2012|
My sincere apologies jenny if my write up come across to you like that. I really don't mean it like that and am not blaming anyone for her death. Again I state: My aim is for us to see if there are better ways/approaches we can use handling things going forward. And again my apologies if i made you feel bad, not intentional at all.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by ojogbontomoye: 5:27pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Blame it on me.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by OAM4J: 5:37pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Am not surprised at you Tunji, its the same way you have been jumping on people's well intentioned post and giving it your own interpretation like you are Mr all knowing who can also see into people's mind and motives. Your fan the amber of discord rather than killing it yet claim to be a friend of all and a peacemaker. One need not go outside this thread to see it.
Again Intelligent adviser ignore me. It is the simplest thing you can do, I don't need your advice, if I need one I certainly wont come to you. I owe jenny an explanation cause i mentioned her name, not you. If your conscience disturbs you by what i have said without mentioning your name then deal with it.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by freecocoa(f): 5:43pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Holy infant Jesus christ!what is it again?for God's sakes can we all drop this?NO ONE is responsible for PERX's death for heaven's sakes,i don't get it,is there are price for who played a greater role in this issue of perx and her situation with advice or whatever?just what are you people trying to prove?this is really heartbreaking,I'm so angry right now i don't even know what to write,jeeeeez,this sucks.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 5:46pm On Mar 07, 2012|
The bolded are where most of your problems lie. Projection! Projection!! Projection!!!
@Idowu, I just realized that you asked me if I have a Beaf with TeHN. God is wonderful, the same TeHN that I was helping behind the scenes to maintain balance and peace. Look, I made my points and observations to TeHN not behind their backs but in front of them.
There are things I could tell TeHN that would be the blunt truth "for the future" like OAM4J is saying. However, it would break some people's heart and I don't want that. It is not about Beaf, it is just that somewhere along the line mistrust arose and people read meanings into things I said when I was direct and not hypocritical.
For the record, all I ever did was to keep Perx calm and try to keep her heart at rest after she got to hospital. She had many fears and questions that she needed to get-off her chest. I am glad I was there for her.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by ifyalways(f): 5:48pm On Mar 07, 2012|
I thought we've all passed this very grieving process ?
Can anyone of us question God,see and predict tomorrow?
What if she waited for the consultant fron Lagoon and still died afterwards? what if she survived the surgeries @ UBTH,what if . . .
Can we just move on.We all tried our best but God makes the ultimate and final decision.
Perx would be buried on Friday.Dust going back to dust.Vanity.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by jennykadry(f): 5:50pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Can you please share, some of us need closure.
It's all good.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by r231(m): 5:53pm On Mar 07, 2012|
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by maclatunji: 5:56pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Jenny, how I wish I could. You won't believe what some of them were and many people would think I am fabricating them. Please, don't ask, she kept it secret, let us leave it at that.
@r231, please don't ask. She chose not to tell you and I have to honour her wishes. This is all so unfortunate!
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by freecocoa(f): 5:59pm On Mar 07, 2012|
maclatunji:OMG i don't believe i just read this?like seriously?this isn't good,you should have ignored that question instead of this IMO.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by r231(m): 5:59pm On Mar 07, 2012|
what did TeHN do wrong??
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by Busy_body(f): 6:08pm On Mar 07, 2012|
THanks for your honest stance and submission on the whole situation, it is refreshing, and i am sure i am not the only rationial person who can see clearly where you and the other members of TEHN committees put your hands up following what that Doctor said. TEHN ALSO TOOK SOME SHARE OF THE BLAME, AND YOUR ORGANISATION DESERVES CREDIT FOR THIS. It takes a real man with a heart and working conscience to put aside self to openly come out to admit this. Overlook Maclatunji with his uppity airs and grace. I don't know how many people or how long people have to caution someone from doing the same thing repeatedly over and over and over again before they get the message that they need to stop reading upside down and plunging headfirst into conclusion. And now he talks about projection, projection, projection, with his skewed compass. Aitete mu ole . . .Lord help us, phew.
But we have to accept it was her time and there was nothing anyone could have done. . .we are like grasshoppers in their sights so we have no choice than to just fold hands and watch. . .
I also hear you loud and clear and step forward to accept a rap on my knuckle for my "slight" imperfection, it is just that i have no patient for anything that is not the truth and i have realised that everytime I have to sugarcoat a message, i have to write epistles in order not to rattle people's nerves or rub them the wrong way. But i will take all your advise on board so if it is stories people want to hear, stories it shall be then.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by ifyalways(f): 6:12pm On Mar 07, 2012|
R231, please can you just ignore Mac?
What would his so called secret amount to, bring back perx?make us hate perx or see Mac as a saint?
According to him, those things are issues of lost trust, fears, would break hearts and a secret so what's up with all the noise?
I wonder why you'd want to know? If there was anything perx could not tell tehn, then we don't need to know, not even from Mac.we all shared different but unique relationships with perx, let's enjoy the memories.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by freecocoa(f): 6:13pm On Mar 07, 2012|
jennykadry:Noted,dude is obviously a demonic lunatic.
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by jennykadry(f): 6:13pm On Mar 07, 2012|
Moving on, is anyone attending Perx's Burial?
|Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! by r231(m): 6:17pm On Mar 07, 2012|
TeHN is sending couple of people down for the funeral
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