cugresources: Tribe, Religion and Culture are important factors to consider before choosing a life partner, but probably you ignored it, and mostly its Ibo people that always do that big mistake of jumping to marry any tribe they come by just because they have liberal minds, which is not same with other tribes. next time, be watchful of tribe, religion, culture and family background, they are very vital, because such things are what shapes a man or woman in life. there are chances you may find husband again, but I must be honest with you that it is very thin in Nigeria, so be very careful of fakers. discrimination of been-tos, yes of course it exist here in Nigeria, we are Africans, thats why as a girl u have to look very well before u leap in Nigerian scenario. like a poster rightly said: if you must stand a chance of finding love again, if at all possible, then you must lower your expectations and desires in a man. The guy is scary though, what a man, abandoned his own son too, Ibos cannot do that I bet you. Ibos love their children more than any other tribe in Nigeria. So make wise choice next time, but trust more in God and do tell Him all your troubles with faith and don't take all men as same, cos there are more good men in Nigeria, if you stay wise! Goodluck!

Wow! Just wow! This is bad. If a person could be thinking like this....maan! Dnt know what to say lol! ONLY ibos value their children etc... So ONLY them? Only ibo marriages last for aages??

This really doesn't warrant anymore comment. You clearly are...not dumb, nt stupid...looking for the right word. M8! U just are a waste of space! No offence. Literally a waste...sorry to say...in Nigeria or wherever you are.

@Acidtalk, I agree with u. No matter how liberal minded Igbos get to b, e neva reach to marry outside d tribe. Most are so traditional, its so annoying.
@Op, ofcos yes! U r young, strong, educated and err..fertile. Lol. Fortune will soon smile on you, and not d bad fortune again. But I'll advise building a relationship with someone u have more in common with next time

charles316: yoruba men cant keep to one woman at a time. i stand to be corrected though it is a known fact. if u want to marry them,then i pity u.

...so you stand to be corrected? Who wan correct "Amukunmeko, A dagba je Raufu" like you? You are a big MUMU!...You aptly define the word "Bozo"...Why stereotype all Yoruba Men? Is it that you have no Brain...or your Brain's Capacity is limited to some defined Protocols?...You must be a Starfish!...For your information, I'm Proudly Yoruba! My Father married One Woman, and all My Uncles are Monogamists!

whoever says yoruba men marries igbo girls 4 ego is sick in d head.one thing i hate frm ur tribe is d arrogance dt some of u displays & its typical of an everage igboman.i made my wife industrious,i built her potentials.will u tribalistic sick heads go join d BH in their course.LOVE ISNT ABOUT TRIBE

cugresources: @acidtalk, in Nigeria, when choosing a life partner, it is important to consider: tribe, religion, family background, and culture first. in Ibo land of ancient times, they do all these things, and its for a reason- if she had married an Ibo man, the marriage wouldn't have ended that way, just 7months, nope my friend, it won't believe me. the guy's elderly relatives and parents, with the lady's own would have sat down on a round table to iron things out, ask other people here. Ibos sacrifice a lot to ensure their son's and daughter's marriages remain united, I respect them for that. inter-tribal marriage hardly survives in Nigeria, if you doubt it, take a statistics around your immediate environment or ask experienced people. like I said, Ibos are the only tribes in Nigeria that marry anyhow- they marry tom, dick and harry in their liberal mind-set. maybe becos they travel a lot, so wherever they go, they build mansions, establish there and take those people as their own, and wouldn't mind marrying them, thats what I meant by they have liberal minds unlike other tribes in Nigeria. Talking of education, I am M.Eng holder from Leeds, MBA from Pan African University (Lagos Business School), so if your talking of whoever having more academic qualifications than I do, then the person must either be a Ph.D. hold or a prof. So to say my friend, lets leave education apart, and face the topic becos being a prof. or whatever doesn't always guarantee good judgment in marital issues. She and every other person reading this thread should consider tribe, religion, culture and family background when choosing a wife or husband. as for her case, the mistake had been done, but for correction, let her focus on dating or getting married to Ibo men and not leaving her mind so liberally...she must define her environment now...else, similar mistake may reoccur, which I pray not. Ask yourself, how many Ibos still practice polygamy nowadays? Probably none, but other tribes does, which shows u how much Ibo people value and respect the modern marriage system- which owes tribute to Ibos being homogeneously Christians!

Lol! @ the most liberal. Thought I've read it somewhere on here. Where pple said igbos are the least liberal when it comes to marriage. That they mainly marry igbo pple and their parents only approve of igbo pple. Would have loved to say, you are painting a bad image of your tribe. But it would be wrong to generalize. You just happen to be part of the small minority pple within the igbo tribe, that don't deserve the "space" you have been given...aka..waste of space!

erniewhez: whoever says yoruba men marries igbo girls 4 ego is sick in d head.one thing i hate frm ur tribe is d arrogance dt some of u displays & its typical of an everage igboman.i made my wife industrious,i built her potentials.will u tribalistic sick heads go join d BH in their course.LOVE ISNT ABOUT TRIBE

M8! Apparently it is for some pple. Absolute nonsense!

Tribe! Pple wud look and laugh!

991:

Well said, though i dislike the offensive-names-calling, truly, when it comes to marriage, we should use our brain and not our heart. hearts can be broken but brains? NEVER. obviously, the man used his brain while the lady used her heart, now who is hurt?

I really dont intend to offend anyone with some of the words I used in that post;however, I try as much as possible not to mince words while airing my views.

When it comes to marriage,LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH.

Yes of course true love will accommodate you and your child just be yourself and be honest about it

@OP, if u dnt mind can u send ur ex hubby number, am interested in ds. My inlaws are igbos and well behaved, most pastors cos my wife is d only female of d siblings. send his number to erniewhez@yahoo.com "if u care"

OP there's something i don't get,are the members of your family not saying anything about this issue?how come there's no one who could call your hubby to order?i mean the marriage was just 3 weeks old when it packed up,did you even know this man before you married him?there are so many unanswered questions.

Anyways the deed has been done,to answer your question,yes you can find love again,28 isn't too old an age,some people even get married at an older age,you just have to be very careful,prayerful,patient and available.

I'll advice you concentrate on your son for now and give yourself time to heal and muster courage before you embark on another journey of getting into a relationship,love will definitely come when it comes. Best of luck to you.

Metalgoong:

You are just chattering . . bunkum!! . . This has nothing to do with living in 21st century. It is only unsophisticated guys or girls that would assimilate the kind of nonsense you just spewed above. Here you are telling someone about 21st century, my question for you is: How many white men do you see marrying black women? Despite the fact that 70% of black women in America are single and also that many white men date black women, but when it comes to marriage, they would run to their white women. . . . Dont tell me that these white men who over look black women when it comes to marriage are racist or that they are yet to come to terms with your disney world 21st century. Or that they are still living in 1800s . . Correct me if I am wrong,you are one of those divorcees hoping to tie down a fresh single guy, why not try a guy from one of those Arab/moslem countries that practice honor killings; afterall, you are a 21st century woman who doesn't care about tribe or religion
The fact remains that there are many things one has to consider before plunging into marriage. And factors like race, tribe, religion are some of them. Peace !!

But that's all race, different skin colours. Which have controversies, right from slavery days. Nigerians are all black. Guy! Grow up maan!

thoniann: There's something our ibo sister is not telling us...I have never heard a man except a crack head abandon his marriage after 7 months, refuse to give his so-called wife money for ante-natal when its so much obvious both of them are expecting their first issue.
That babe isn't telling us everything we need to know to enable us make proper judgement. Do you know the distance from the nearest yoruba state to the East? And you guus want me to believe that the man forgot all the stress of that journey with his family after 7 months,abandon heavily pregnant wife and took off?
[b]I sure say na Lagos marriage una do and dat man no even see your parents face,let alone ur siblings,[/b]or else him for get fear for at least one year before him run.

So stop painting this guy as unholy and crude. I believe you have your excesses. Either you cheated on him with an igbo guy, or you lashed at him because you earn more than him (something we guys won't ever forgive), or you just wanted to start a topic,a very controversial one here on NL.

I totally agree with you here.

The OP is not even talking about her parents action, she should have some people from her side to help her out.

Except she shunned them before the marriage.

@vergil, yes our parents don't usually approve our marrying yorubas, cos they know more than we do plus they say how the average yoruba person can betray an Ibo during the civil war, Awolowo and his yoruba cohorts displayed that; so our parents know that yorubas hate Ibos, but our nowadays youths don't know that or they are finding it hard to realize until another crises comes up in Nigeria to teach them lesson. as a result, our Ibo youths of today are too liberal when it comes to marriage; they marry anyhow, never listen their parents becos they have come to lagos or wherever and maybe made it more than their parents, who despite whatever are more wise. saying i am a waste of space, there is no problem, we all know who we are individually, so no fight, cos the one i fought yesterday I am still trying to deal with it. so u cannot hear a word from me darling. but I insist that any Ibo girl marrying a yoruba guy is an infidel...jews don't marry palestinians no matter what, we are jewish lineage and should act as one. if u want to practice western culture, go to your land or go and preach that to europeans and americans, and ask them too why they don't marry blacks? why don't queen of england marry a black? why can't prince of england marry a black lady? ask yourselves wise men and women?

strangerf: @OP:

The ship has sailed. You can never find true love again, and I hope you never find it. May you be heart broken for the rest of your life.

What kind of person are you? What do you stand to gain with your statement, my friend if you cannot help her don't make her case look any harder.

@pretty cindy, I wll advice you to calm down first before entering into another relationship, I am also a single mum, but I got married to an ibo guy and my marriage lasted just for 1yr and some months. I also have a son but my son is 1yr and 3months now. I can feel your story and know all you r saying is true, good people always meet bad people, that is life for you. But you have to move on. My was I married out of appearance, I will be 25yrs by next month. What you have to know is that handsome guys*most* flirts and no matter how good, pretty, intelligent, romantic, caring , and even good on bed you are can make them to stop that. But me I am thanking God for everything. Because I believe on myself. Though I dt wanna enter into any relationship for now. Guys must come. That one is certain just take good care of your son and always be a good lady u r b/c I know that stuff like this happens mainly to good and decent ladies like us. The bad and wicked wives know how to do their things that's y there marriage do last. All the same we can be friends if you like.

Ive never met anyone soo full of sh1it like cugresources. Officially the biggest bullsh1tter of nairaland! he actually takes the crown for the absolute rubbish he types! Dayum! What a slowpoke. He even quotes made up statistics! My life!

@op, mothers get married everyday. The last wedding i attended was of a 38 year old mother of 3 and her 42 yr old husband. There are single mothers and fathers absolutely everywhere dont lose hope. I feel to add the failure of your marriage has nothing to do with tribe, you probably werent patient in choosing your husband. Now hopefully you are wise enough to make more informed choices.

benlay: I will tell you this, try and stay away from single guys as much as possible, it takes a big maturity for a single/young guy to 'really' fall in love with a single mom, before i was married i used to say i can't marry a single mom, but with more experience over time, i found out that most single moms out there are caring, i can tell u that categorically.
Focus on older men, probably a divorcee or a widowed man also single dads could work too, guys that have never been married before or had no kid(s) might not be able to handle a lot of things very maturely.
There are some folks out there that would read my post and say it's all rubbish, trust me i know what I'm saying.
Good luck, mother Africa, don't give up on love, there is a man out there for you, just don't be desperate.

[b]I am a young guy,single and never married...for personal and genuine reasons, i left a single lady i was dating for a single mother with a 5 year old boy and we are planing marriage as we speak : my mind is made up anyway.

You are very right with your statement that single mums are very caring , understanding and humble but they can be a little bit too careful , hard to convince and suspicious of your positive intentions for them until you are able to get their mind to rest and you are good to go.

I thought as much too that one might have issues with them in trying to make them see reason why they shouldn't train the child to grow up hating the father, they will naturally want to go against you for that, so you really need to get those aspect of their life settled before marriage to avoid such affecting your relationship.

I wouldn't want any child trained under me to have such notion about life, irrespective of what the father might have done.

@poster,
You will surely find love when and where you least expected but you also need a lot of maturity to handle such person when he eventually come calling so you wouldn't out of fear of your previous experience loose him.

Read my comment in between the lines,digest my opinion and you will be glad you did.

There are lots of matured guys out there who cherish true love wrapped in maturity and focus be it from single lady , single mum or a widow.[/b]

PrettyCindy: I was married to a Yoruba man 2yrs ago (am from d East). The man is from a polygamous family and deeply believed in divorce; infact 3weeks into the marriage he suddenly decared that divorce is an option when anyone of us gets tired. Bottom line, the marriage lasted for just 7 months.

I did all I could to make our marriage work but I was totally frustrated. My pregnancy was 2 months old when he physically assaulted me repeatedly kicking my stomach. My child survived and he is 4 months old now, a healthy baby.

Now the thing is this, am a single mum now as we are finally seperated. What chances are there for single mum‘s to find love, are they discriminated against? Am not saying i want to start dating again now, i just want to know what its like for us out there.

true love, yes
marriage, it's highly unlikely.

paris10:

@NLanders, I believe this is the man that broke this lady's heart. You're a heartless piece of poo. Your curses are yours and would never be the potion of the lady involved.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Amen! Iseee! Amin! wth!

Vergil:

But that's all race, different skin colours. Which have controversies, right from slavery days. Nigerians are all black. Guy! Grow up maan!

You dumb old hag should shut up!! . . There is no difference between those scenarios;after all, we are all HUMAN BEINGs. . . .
When replying to my post next time, try to come up with a sharper retort. Air brain!!

Keep listening to one side stories and have heat-attacks over it. No woman will tell unfavorable story about herself. You all commenting if you could just see the inside of your wife and we she thinks abut you for real - you go shock die. They pretend all is well half the time. Something eyinbo woman wont do

This is a typical topic that I don't like discussing because of the issues involved. First men are not generally mad and no one can wake up one morning and decides to end a relationship that has called for more brainstorming before metamorphosing into marriage. All you need to do is to go back and check yourself in order not to repeat the same issue otherwise you will end up concluding that all men are the same- which is the truth anyway. I wish you best of luck.

@queensmith, truth hurt u know...lolz...maybe u are eying one guy from another tribe, u better look well becos i won't be around to offer u assistance then. but then i keep telling u folks that being single and free is sweet, u guys doubted me, argued me like u are doing now. tomorrow u guys will still realize the truth of my words. ask your parents questions young guys and girls, stop deciding critical things like this all by yourselves. my parents want me to marry soonest but I am not ready and thats y i am myself cos i love my freedom, but most guys won't tell u this, just becos maybe u told ur a virgin and they probably want to sleep with u and disappear, many men can go this far just to satisfy their ego. start now to learn to be happy as a single person...you ladies should stop forcing yourselves into marriage as an escape route to certain issues. if u don't stop being desperate for marriage, cases like this will keep rising daily becos men love freedom and being unattached...know it but they won't tell u just to bleep u!

[size=15pt]How many times did he yanshed you?? [/size]

Metalgoong:

You dumb old hag should shut up!! . . There is no difference between those scenarios;after all, we are all HUMAN BEINGs. . . .
When replying to my post next time, try to come up with a sharper retort. Air brain!!

Exactly! Air brain yourself. We are all human beings. Why promoting segregation, tribalism etc.

Fair enough, everybody should use their head. But don't over play the tribe card... Dumbo!

cugresources: It is only 2 in every 1000 Ibo vs Yoruba marriage that survives it out of God's mercy to prove sth. 10 in every 100 Ibo vs Niger Delta marriage survives cos they share close to similar culture and values. no figure for Ibo vs Hausa cos it rarely occurs. So brother, yours might be amongst the few that thrived...but be open, your brothers marry Ibos just to show ego! not becos they love Ibos, cos u yorubas hate Ibos to the core, just like the fact that their ladies are so cute, neat and industrious!

Instead of my sister to marry a yoruba to come later crying wolf, I will assassinate her before she does that. I cannot stand a sister to spoil my family name for what? are Ibo guys drained up for her to go for a yoruba guy? anyway, none can ever dare that, except she is ready to elope with him to an unknown island. sighs...why do u think princess diana died? or do u think she died a natural death? she was assassinated by the Brits for wanting to remarry an Egyptian prince or whatsoever...imagine! if Brits can do that, why should you be brainwashed into marrying infidels who don't love your tribe, who once betrayed your tribe and will always do whenever things go wrong in Nigeria anytime?

well said brother!,but can they obey and strive to your adivce?

kama,ha buru ndi anagwo ibi ha na eto afo!!

NEROSKY:
At first,why shud u get married to a south-western man? ,did ur parents endorse the marriage? Did they giv u their blessings? How supportive ar ur parents? I knw luv is blind but it shudnt av led u to a yoruba man,did u knw where u cum 4rm or u were u told(my mama say abi igbo.) afta answerin dis questns,then i will av a word wif u..... N.b..am not jst bin rash bt we av to face d fact,okay.,.

Wow, Hitler must have been Igbo-doffing my hat for the superior tribe in Nigeria. My friend, your neck is carrying a load so heavy it borders on suicide.

cugresources: @vergil, yes our parents don't usually approve our marrying yorubas, cos they know more than we do plus they say how the average yoruba person can betray an Ibo during the civil war, Awolowo and his yoruba cohorts displayed that; so our parents know that yorubas hate Ibos, but our nowadays youths don't know that or they are finding it hard to realize until another crises comes up in Nigeria to teach them lesson. as a result, our Ibo youths of today are too liberal when it comes to marriage; they marry anyhow, never listen their parents becos they have come to lagos or wherever and maybe made it more than their parents, who despite whatever are more wise. saying i am a waste of space, there is no problem, we all know who we are individually, so no fight, cos the one i fought yesterday I am still trying to deal with it. so u cannot hear a word from me darling. but I insist that any Ibo girl marrying a yoruba guy is an infidel...jews don't marry palestinians no matter what, we are jewish lineage and should act as one. if u want to practice western culture, go to your land or go and preach that to europeans and americans, and ask them too why they don't marry blacks? why don't queen of england marry a black? why can't prince of england marry a black lady? ask yourselves wise men and women?

By the way, come to Okota, specifically around that avenue bustop. The street right next to it. You'd see cases of Igbo couple, married couple screaming their lungs out. Heck, few houses down d street. A man is known to beat his wife, she screams and this seems to happen at odd hours. A number of igbos/hausa here, just stay here for say 3 months..u'd witness. Esp in this house I'm on abt.

U can find true love again. Dnt b too hard on ursef. A man who'l love u n accept ur boy wil come ur way if u'l wait patiently.

queensmith: Ive never met anyone soo full of sh1it like cugresources. Officially the biggest bullsh1tter of nairaland! he actually takes the crown for the absolute rubbish he types! Dayum! What a slowpoke. He even quotes made up statistics! My life!

,thought i was the only one who sees how f00lish the madman is,the dude is full of crap,collect hug for that good observation.

Why not?