Onegai: My love, I'm gonna hazard a guess at your age. About 25 or a little above or below. You sound like me at that age.
I see from your signature you're a christian. Now let me refer you to the bible. Go point out all the assertive ladies in there, let me know how it worked out for them. I'll wait (pours myself a drink of OJ).

See the difference btw Jezebel, Esther, Bathsheba, Mary and Deborah? Both strong,but one was calm, and the other didn't take shit and was equal to her man in screwing up. Guess who suffered? The bible says "Men, love your wives as Christ loves the church". So your man is meant to cover and protect you. So what does the church do? It worships Christ. Ergo, you're meant to worship your man. The church does not say "'xcuse Jesus, I don't like what you just said or did so I'm not gonna follow" and sit down glaring at him. So what's the shi.t about "I won't take crap, get to stepping if you piss me off, I am Woman hear me roarrrrr!!"?
A strong woman, does not need to be like what you described to be strong. I know a lot of strong, i-dont-take-crap girls. They declare their strength, then go to the kitchen, dish their man's food, serve him and prefix every sentence to him with "darling". They're submissive. If they couldn't be, they'd be single. To quote a white, aethist relationship coach (so you know that ALL men are alike) "men have to be strong in front of their friends and the world and it gets exhausting. They don't want to marry and keep fighting for strength at home. So it's great that you have a Ph.d, speak 4 languages and climbed Mt. Everest, if you don't make him feel like a man, he won't care about that and marry you."
What men want is for you to be emotionally stable and strong, in case they're not home, to hold down the fort, but when they show up, baby, get on your knees.

Wow!

Btw, she's 22.

Onegai: My love, I'm gonna hazard a guess at your age. About 25 or a little above or below. You sound like me at that age.
I see from your signature you're a christian. Now let me refer you to the bible. Go point out all the assertive ladies in there, let me know how it worked out for them. I'll wait (pours myself a drink of OJ).

See the difference btw Jezebel, Esther, Bathsheba, Mary and Deborah? Both strong,but one was calm, and the other didn't take shit and was equal to her man in screwing up. Guess who suffered? The bible says "Men, love your wives as Christ loves the church". So your man is meant to cover and protect you. So what does the church do? It worships Christ. Ergo, you're meant to worship your man. The church does not say "'xcuse Jesus, I don't like what you just said or did so I'm not gonna follow" and sit down glaring at him. So what's the shi.t about "I won't take crap, get to stepping if you piss me off, I am Woman hear me roarrrrr!!"?
A strong woman, does not need to be like what you described to be strong. I know a lot of strong, i-dont-take-crap girls. They declare their strength, then go to the kitchen, dish their man's food, serve him and prefix every sentence to him with "darling". They're submissive. If they couldn't be, they'd be single. To quote a white, aethist relationship coach (so you know that ALL men are alike) "men have to be strong in front of their friends and the world and it gets exhausting. They don't want to marry and keep fighting for strength at home. So it's great that you have a Ph.d, speak 4 languages and climbed Mt. Everest, if you don't make him feel like a man, he won't care about that and marry you."
What men want is for you to be emotionally stable and strong, in case they're not home, to hold down the fort, but when they show up, baby, get on your knees.

Metalgoong:

I cant believe that this was written by an educated woman of this era . . . Your husband is one of the luckiest men on earth!!

TisaBone: I did not say aggressive, but assertive.

the type of woman that will love you unconditionally, but as soon as you mess up, will tell you your shit stinks. the type that doesn't take any mess, and doesn't believe in second chances and will leave you in a heartbeat if you are not acting right. the type of woman that carries her own weight. does this turn you on, or are you not man enough to handle such a woman?

Onegai: Now let me refer you to the bible. Go point out all the assertive ladies in there, let me know how it worked out for them. I'll wait (pours myself a drink of OJ).

See the difference btw Jezebel, Esther, Bathsheba, Mary and Deborah? Both strong,but one was calm, and the other didn't take shit and was equal to her man in screwing up. Guess who suffered? The bible says "Men, love your wives as Christ loves the church". So your man is meant to cover and protect you. So what does the church do? It worships Christ. Ergo, you're meant to worship your man. The church does not say "'xcuse Jesus, I don't like what you just said or did so I'm not gonna follow" and sit down glaring at him. So what's the shi.t about "I won't take crap, get to stepping if you piss me off, I am Woman hear me roarrrrr!!"?
A strong woman, does not need to be like what you described to be strong. I know a lot of strong, i-dont-take-crap girls. They declare their strength, then go to the kitchen, dish their man's food, serve him and prefix every sentence to him with "darling". They're submissive. If they couldn't be, they'd be single. To quote a white, aethist relationship coach (so you know that ALL men are alike) "men have to be strong in front of their friends and the world and it gets exhausting. They don't want to marry and keep fighting for strength at home. So it's great that you have a Ph.d, speak 4 languages and climbed Mt. Everest, if you don't make him feel like a man, he won't care about that and marry you."
What men want is for you to be emotionally stable and strong, in case they're not home, to hold down the fort, but when they show up, baby, get on your knees.

TisaBone:

so a man has to be a b//tch in order for his woman to be assertive? what are you talking about? I did not say domineering, but I believe women should stand up for themselves and not accept less than what they know they deserve from a man. and I do know what unconditional love is, and I'm aware that we are only human and that people mess up, but that does not mean you allow a man/woman to continue making the same mistakes over and over again, with you being the recipient of this maltreatment. And yes, relationships with assertive women and a man confident enough to accept his woman the way she is do last. you know why? because there is mutual respect. no one is over the other. there is the understanding that there is a give and take. both parties must submit at one time or another.

TisaBone:

so a man has to be a b//tch in order for his woman to be assertive? what are you talking about? I did not say domineering, but I believe women should stand up for themselves and not accept less than what they know they deserve from a man. and I do know what unconditional love is, and I'm aware that we are only human and that people mess up, but that does not mean you allow a man/woman to continue making the same mistakes over and over again, with you being the recipient of this maltreatment. And yes, relationships with assertive women and a man confident enough to accept his woman the way she is do last. you know why? because there is mutual respect. no one is over the other. there is the understanding that there is a give and take. both parties must submit at one time or another.

fresh_dude: In my experience, women who pride themselves in being 'liberated' are just unnecessarily rude, confrontational and cantankerous. They tend to display the very same aggressivenes they would term as 'ungentlemanly'. Ladies you dont need to pick a fight at every instance to prove your equality and liberation(some of us men actually KNOW you lot are liberated). If you wont put up with my gruffness I sure as hell wont condone your nasty attitude. Respect goes to the lady who's 'ladylike' in her disagreement and (defiance). I dont want to be dating a man in a female body. NO!

Onegai: My love, I'm gonna hazard a guess at your age. About 25 or a little above or below. You sound like me at that age.
I see from your signature you're a christian. Now let me refer you to the bible. Go point out all the assertive ladies in there, let me know how it worked out for them. I'll wait (pours myself a drink of OJ).

See the difference btw Jezebel, Esther, Bathsheba, Mary and Deborah? Both strong,but one was calm, and the other didn't take shit and was equal to her man in screwing up. Guess who suffered? The bible says "Men, love your wives as Christ loves the church". So your man is meant to cover and protect you. So what does the church do? It worships Christ. Ergo, you're meant to worship your man. The church does not say "'xcuse Jesus, I don't like what you just said or did so I'm not gonna follow" and sit down glaring at him. So what's the shi.t about "I won't take crap, get to stepping if you piss me off, I am Woman hear me roarrrrr!!"?
A strong woman, does not need to be like what you described to be strong. I know a lot of strong, i-dont-take-crap girls. They declare their strength, then go to the kitchen, dish their man's food, serve him and prefix every sentence to him with "darling". They're submissive. If they couldn't be, they'd be single. To quote a white, aethist relationship coach (so you know that ALL men are alike) "men have to be strong in front of their friends and the world and it gets exhausting. They don't want to marry and keep fighting for strength at home. So it's great that you have a Ph.d, speak 4 languages and climbed Mt. Everest, if you don't make him feel like a man, he won't care about that and marry you."
What men want is for you to be emotionally stable and strong, in case they're not home, to hold down the fort, but when they show up, baby, get on your knees.

cowgurl: Now u'v js raised deir 'ego' a notch. For moi, 'l worship a guy hu deserves 2 b worshipped not an arsehole. It's y am into talkin wit d guy first so WE both can mak compromises b4 we begin. Let's bring our principles (cos 'v gat myn) 2 d table n talk abot it lik matured minds n blif me wen dis is done, d relationship is heavenly 4 both. It's been workin 4 moi thus far.

bennyraz: @onegai. Thank you. african especially Nigerian men are very sensitive. will have to look for a man that will be submissive to you. That is when your relationship will work perfectly because one person have to be the slave to some extent, the other person has to be the master. Two captains can't be in a ship. Take a cue from onegai. Have a lovely day sweetie.

TisaBone:


every person has their limits. and if you cross a certain line, then you have reached the point of no return with a woman who knows that having a man doesn't define her, nor make or break her. men are so good at convincing women that they should be desperate and take whatever he dishes out, and put up with being treated like a dog. It's not about a contest, or bending over backwards, its about mutual respect, which is what a lot of relationships lack because men feel that they can do or say anything they want to their women, expecting to get away with murder. an assertive woman is strong enough to stand up for herself and say "no, i will not allow you to treat me this way,i will not allow you to say these things to me, and if you insist upon still doing them, then kick rocks" imho , men see these types of women at threats, because they think that in order to be a real man, he should have the power to lord over, and control the weaker sex. that makes them feel manly. when a woman confident in herself comes along who takes that feeling of power away from him, then and only then does she become a b/tch or a woman who is trying to compete with men.

Onegai: My love, I'm gonna hazard a guess at your age. About 25 or a little above or below. You sound like me at that age.
I see from your signature you're a christian. Now let me refer you to the bible. Go point out all the assertive ladies in there, let me know how it worked out for them. I'll wait (pours myself a drink of OJ).

See the difference btw Jezebel, Esther, Bathsheba, Mary and Deborah? Both strong,but one was calm, and the other didn't take shit and was equal to her man in screwing up. Guess who suffered? The bible says "Men, love your wives as Christ loves the church". So your man is meant to cover and protect you. So what does the church do? It worships Christ. Ergo, you're meant to worship your man. The church does not say "'xcuse Jesus, I don't like what you just said or did so I'm not gonna follow" and sit down glaring at him. So what's the shi.t about "I won't take crap, get to stepping if you piss me off, I am Woman hear me roarrrrr!!"?
A strong woman, does not need to be like what you described to be strong. I know a lot of strong, i-dont-take-crap girls. They declare their strength, then go to the kitchen, dish their man's food, serve him and prefix every sentence to him with "darling". They're submissive. If they couldn't be, they'd be single. To quote a white, aethist relationship coach (so you know that ALL men are alike) "men have to be strong in front of their friends and the world and it gets exhausting. They don't want to marry and keep fighting for strength at home. So it's great that you have a Ph.d, speak 4 languages and climbed Mt. Everest, if you don't make him feel like a man, he won't care about that and marry you."
What men want is for you to be emotionally stable and strong, in case they're not home, to hold down the fort, but when they show up, baby, get on your knees.

Onegai:

Hahaha, but I'm actually not married. My ex wants to enjoy his ego and put our relationship on a break. Guys like aggressive girls, they then wonder why she can't submit later. Guys see nice girls and go "nah, too nice"

cowgurl: Now u'v js raised deir 'ego' a notch. For moi, 'l worship a guy hu deserves 2 b worshipped not an arsehole. It's y am into talkin wit d guy first so WE both can mak compromises b4 we begin. Let's bring our principles (cos 'v gat myn) 2 d table n talk abot it lik matured minds n blif me wen dis is done, d relationship is heavenly 4 both. It's been workin 4 moi thus far.

TisaBone:

wasn't nobody even talkin to you. see this is exactly what i mean. you men have no manners! wut ya'll need is a firm, but loving hand to guide you. everyone knows men only think with one head, and its not the big one. so leave all the big stuff to the more capable sex.

Onegai:
We're saying the same thing. A guy asked you out and you agreed. Basically, your agreement said "yes, I believe you are worth a relationship with me" so unless you like dating arseholes, I assume you wouldn't pick one. So treat said-bf as if he deserves respect. Until otherwise proven and then you can leave. My boss told me the diff btw a wife and a gf: when you piss both off, the wife tries to work on things, the gf says "this ain't working out, see ya!". Then she looks confused when said man marries the NEXT chick he sees, then writes off the whole situation as "desperate to marry". Nope, it's your ability to endure and be loyal. His male friends, when they fight, walk away. So he doesn't marry his male friends. Whether you like it or not, we are created the way we are. Marriage is a lifetime, it gets easier to submit than fight for your right. Take it from someone whose mum was a beauty queen with a temper and still had a cheating husband (and none of his babes were as fine as my mum). It was when she kept quiet, prettied herself up and played Scrabble with him, my father started staying home. There's got to be a reason every guy on this thread is agreeing with me. Love, this is how the world works. I used to want to change it, then I realised I achieved more by changing myself. Be strong, don't be aggressive. The definition of a Lady doesn't have assertive in it, because in trying to be an I-don't-take-crap girl, you end up being aggressive and one of the boys. Then all the guys respect you, and marry other girls. But hey, you still got your respect, innit?

fresh_dude: Look stop talking irrelevancies, nobody is asking you to worship a dog, it should go without saying. Would go and touch a hot silencer? You dont need to tell me you wouldnt. The point is, do what is right-love and RESPECT your man and if you dont like the way he rolls, bounce. Why stay in a relationship where you both disrespect each other DELIBERATELY?

REALITY101: No thanks. I don't need female hitler for a partner.