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Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by bukatyne(f): 10:15am On Apr 18, 2012 |
d first question should be who is an assertive woman? most people mistake assertive for aggressive. most times people amaze me: when they hear a woman that knows her left from her right, they say she is rude, she ll be proud etc just as when a lady says she's equal to a guy, she is seen as rude, unmarriageable (like marriage is the ultimate) etc. been rude or proud is totally different from been assertive. as a christian (male or female), when u have d fruits of d Spirit, u ll be kind, patient, loving, faithful, hopeful, longsuffering, tolerant, have self control and peaceful. so been rude is not been assertive, it is been rude. @onegai: out of al d women u mentioned, it's jezebel that was odd and not because she was assertive but she was evil, an idol worshipper etc. check out the profile of a noble wife prov 31:10 - 31. n ur dad had no excuse to cheat on ur mom. God expects everybody to play their part if d other one does or not. we have a lot of women in the Bible who knew wat they wanted n did it however, they were not rude. @bennyraz: i don't know wat to say, i just wonder if it were ur friend's gf that was loose, if ur friend ll go that far. someone was usin d comparism of Jesus Christ n d Church. let me ask u: ow many men love their wives d way Jesus Christ loves His Church? u don't worship ur husband, u submit to him. it is only God alone that deserves our worship. sorry for d epistle! have a splendid day! 4 Likes |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by ypzilanti: 10:23am On Apr 18, 2012 |
a simple rule that will serve all women: never date or marry a man you do not respect. 1 Like |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by LogicMind: 10:34am On Apr 18, 2012 |
fresh_dude: What exactly is she asserting, and why does she need any asserting, are we in a contest for whoseopinion matters most?You really need to read up on the meaning of 'unconditional' love Why wouldnt it, aint gon be running around with vegetables.Well I dont believe in competing with my woman or bending over backwards to impress her, if she dont like me the way I is, she can go fcck that transgendered above. Thank you, hope I answered your question? great response |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by dljbd1(m): 10:43am On Apr 18, 2012 |
TisaBone: I did not say aggressive, but assertive.thn she doesn't love u if she wld leave u in a heartbeat nd nt even consider a second chance. I agree wt talking her mind instantly nd holdin nothing back. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by dljbd1(m): 10:45am On Apr 18, 2012 |
ypzilanti: a simple rule that will serve all women: never date or marry a man you do not respect. Best rule ever! They shld consider dis. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by freemanrule: 10:49am On Apr 18, 2012 |
hmmmmmmmm i really got test 4 her bt really dnt got her. hmmmmmmmm i really got test 4 her bt really dnt got her. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Onegai(f): 10:54am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Here's what you guys are missing: worship the way I meant was total submission. Not the submission most women practise, which is to submit till the ring is on her finger. Most assertive ladies will not tell you they're assertive, they'll simply show it. And still, they submit. Jezebel joined her husband equally in everything he did, she wasn't content to sit on the sidelines. No one has a right to cheat on anyone, but if it happens, do you vex, do you walk out or do you fix things? That's what separates kids from adults, the ability not to run away when the going gets tough: about my mum and dad. Declare over and over again: "I demand my respect, my husband WILL NOT TRY me and I'll accept it". Great. Let me know when you get married if that's the reality. I'm the youngest of people in their 40s, and I've seen marriage up close. When life is about starting afresh with kids, and the loneliness and struggles of being a single parent, submission gets DARN easy. The only thing to do is choose well who you marry. One of my sisters is assertive, everyone loves and respects her, she's married and has her problems. The other is assertive-aggressive and 37, and single and people avoid her. The best marriage in my family goes to the calm, nice sister, who's husband is even younger than her. Make what you will of that. There's nothing wrong with assertive, but when people react badly to your assertiveness, it's because you're being aggressive or having attitude. 2 Likes |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Onegai(f): 11:02am On Apr 18, 2012 |
bukatyne: d first question should be who is an assertive woman? most people mistake assertive for aggressive. most times people amaze me: when they hear a woman that knows her left from her right, they say she is rude, she ll be proud etc just as when a lady says she's equal to a guy, she is seen as rude, unmarriageable (like marriage is the ultimate) etc. been rude or proud is totally different from been assertive. as a christian (male or female), when u have d fruits of d Spirit, u ll be kind, patient, loving, faithful, hopeful, longsuffering, tolerant, have self control and peaceful. so been rude is not been assertive, it is been rude. @onegai: out of al d women u mentioned, it's jezebel that was odd and not because she was assertive but she was evil, an idol worshipper etc. check out the profile of a noble wife prov 31:10 - 31. n ur dad had no excuse to cheat on ur mom. God expects everybody to play their part if d other one does or not. we have a lot of women in the Bible who knew wat they wanted n did it however, they were not rude. @bennyraz: i don't know wat to say, i just wonder if it were ur friend's gf that was loose, if ur friend ll go that far. someone was usin d comparism of Jesus Christ n d Church. let me ask u: ow many men love their wives d way Jesus Christ loves His Church? u don't worship ur husband, u submit to him. it is only God alone that deserves our worship. sorry for d epistle! have a splendid day! If you're waiting for your man to love you as Christ loved the church, better leave him it's easier to change yourself than change him. See Vashti and Esther: the same King made unreasonable demands, which woman got him to do what she wanted?? Who was more successful, Madam dont-try-my-beauty-and-order-me-around-in-front-of-your-friends or Mrs Darling-your-wish-is-my-command?? When you love him stupidly, he will act like a fool to please you. TRUST ME! There's a time to stand your ground and 80 percent of the time, is NOT the right time. Mehn I don tire talk 2 Likes |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by emmatok(m): 11:16am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Onegai: My love, I'm gonna hazard a guess at your age. About 25 or a little above or below. You sound like me at that age. 9ICE |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by lurkee(f): 11:17am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Onegai: I see your message: "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar". I think most people should go with someone who complements their personality. I am an assertive and confrontational person by nature. I do not know how to pretend, if something bothers me, I will tell it like I feel. This way I don't bear any grudges and my BF knows where he stands with me. My BF loves this and he is the other way round. Very soft spoken, calm and reasonable. Together we are like magic. If I am angry, he will rarely get angry at the same time. The few times he gets angry, the way he talks prevents me from displaying my madness and this works for us. I cannot see myself with someone with a short temper as we will be fighting everyday. The kind of men that like assertive women are the kind that are calm, easy going and no-wahala kind of men. Every man is different. 6 Likes |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by emmatok(m): 11:17am On Apr 18, 2012 |
TisaBone: I did not say aggressive, but assertive. I don't want a Faminist for GF/WIFE. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by cowgurl: 11:20am On Apr 18, 2012 |
ypzilanti: a simple rule that will serve all women: never date or marry a man you do not respect.Well said, I sure won't!!! |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Nobody: 11:20am On Apr 18, 2012 |
cowgurl: Dude, wat d hell r u barkin @? Zap off n giv rum 2 dos who's gat ansas 2 d Op's questions!Aww, was I too assertive sweety? Oya maa sun kun ma. No class, no finesse, no culture, nothing, just raw and uncut. Add this one to your assertiveness you hear? My friend you are a waste of romantic time. Damn! |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Nobody: 11:55am On Apr 18, 2012 |
bukatyne: d first question should be who is an assertive woman? most people mistake assertive for aggressive. most times people amaze me: when they hear a woman that knows her left from her right, they say she is rude, she ll be proud etc just as when a lady says she's equal to a guy, she is seen as rude, unmarriageable (like marriage is the ultimate) etc. been rude or proud is totally different from been assertive. as a christian (male or female), when u have d fruits of d Spirit, u ll be kind, patient, loving, faithful, hopeful, longsuffering, tolerant, have self control and peaceful. so been rude is not been assertive, it is been rude. @onegai: out of al d women u mentioned, it's jezebel that was odd and not because she was assertive but she was evil, an idol worshipper etc. check out the profile of a noble wife prov 31:10 - 31. n ur dad had no excuse to cheat on ur mom. God expects everybody to play their part if d other one does or not. we have a lot of women in the Bible who knew wat they wanted n did it however, they were not rude. @bennyraz: i don't know wat to say, i just wonder if it were ur friend's gf that was loose, if ur friend ll go that far. someone was usin d comparism of Jesus Christ n d Church. let me ask u: ow many men love their wives d way Jesus Christ loves His Church? u don't worship ur husband, u submit to him. it is only God alone that deserves our worship. sorry for d epistle! have a splendid day!i'm falling under your anointing sweetie . You are sure killing me softly and swiftly. Babe, i need serious counselling o. Infact i no fit talk anything again. You are surely sweeping me off my feet. I just feel like i no you from somewhere. Kai |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Nobody: 12:06pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Aunty onegai.. Abeg i raise hand for you jare. Lecture all this NL women jare. @ lurkee. Nice one. U can't have 2 captain in a ship. One person as to be hard, the other as to be soft if nt it will not work. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Reference(m): 12:12pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
TisaBone: I did not say aggressive, but assertive. This is the kind of mish-mash that the feminine movement struggles with. Just plain contradiction. On one hand you have love unconditionally, while on the other no hesitation to dump and jump. Is this assertion or confrontation. Drive on one side of the road please . 1 Like |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by SaintChukz(m): 12:23pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
lurkee: |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Dondav(m): 12:32pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
I've fallen for such a gurl before! But never dated her..... And Yeah! I love them..... |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by chucky234(m): 12:32pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
That's where women get it all wrong,the words "assertive and unconditional" are two words that don't seem to compliment each other because a woman who love her man unconditionally will always give him a second chance,assertiveness to be should go with infatuation and not unconditional love. I once dated a pretty girl who I cared so much about and wanted to marry,she was very assertive and loving as well. We got into trouble when she met me with another girl (I was just discussing with her) and she grew furious,picked her bag and went home. I was running after her begging for 6 whole months but she bluffed me that nothing will make her change her mind,on the 8th month she began to call me by then I already made up my mind to move on. On the 9th she decided to come but it was late because another already got pregnant for me and she was devasted and still regret it today,I later married the woman who turned out to be the most wonderful woman on earth and we are happy together. The one you guys called assertive is still single and 33 years old now,I was bent on marrying but because she didn't want to give me a second chance made her life miserable. I still call her time to time to offer her advices and guidance. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Gertynk: 12:35pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
@Onegai, i ve learnt alot from ur lecture and i blve tisa has been corrected too. To tell the truth am one assertive person nd got married, intend to make my marriage work but i ll maintain where to be assretive and where to submissive cos men are like kids when u let them ve there way always, they ll mess u up. Thank u |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Dondav(m): 12:46pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Wow!!! Those were real words... 33 years and still single! I guess she's from Imo State... Damn! |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Claus(m): 12:57pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Was soooo itching to craft a long response till I saw Onegai's responses, then I chilled. Assertiveness is good and healthy on both sides for a relationship to work well. However, what TisaBone described in her original post is at best borderline aggression. A lot of short fused women with questionable temperaments excuse their behaviour by claiming it's assertive. I disagree. A lot of relationships end and the women console themselves by saying "he wasn't man enough for me". The truth is, no sane minded man will willingly choose to live in a war zone. My advice to women, select your man carefully and once you get a good man, give him peace of mind at home and you're on to a winner! 1 Like |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by luckgames(m): 1:02pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
chucky234: That's where women get it all wrong,the words "assertive and unconditional" are two words that don't seem to compliment each other because a woman who love her man unconditionally will always give him a second chance,assertiveness to be should go with infatuation and not unconditional love. She is Ms too know Not assertive and understand unconditional love Most likely she will become second wife |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by antartica(m): 1:07pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Sometimes i think timid and unassuming women make better companions but they could be very boring at the very long ruu,while the hot shot ones make very good snappy companions but not for keep. There can not be to captains in a boat playing the same role. The best women are mildly enlightened ones with subtle and considerable characters,they are eternal materials like my mum. The term assertive could mean all knowing to some women and that is very dangerous. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by luckgames(m): 1:09pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Onegai: Here's what you guys are missing: worship the way I meant was total submission. Not the submission most women practise, which is to submit till the ring is on her finger. Most assertive ladies will not tell you they're assertive, they'll simply show it. And still, they submit. Jezebel joined her husband equally in everything he did, she wasn't content to sit on the sidelines. No one has a right to cheat on anyone, but if it happens, do you vex, do you walk out or do you fix things? That's what separates kids from adults, the ability not to run away when the going gets tough: about my mum and dad. Declare over and over again: "I demand my respect, my husband WILL NOT TRY me and I'll accept it". Great. Let me know when you get married if that's the reality. Auchi Girl you get sense and real life experience |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by luckgames(m): 1:13pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
TisaBone: |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by luckgames(m): 1:17pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
samyng: Some of we men are very bad not just women |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by jagunlabi(m): 1:20pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
No. I am not man enough to handle such a woman. Would she be woman enough to handle a man who does not forgive and who is prepared to leave her on her ass whenever she makes a mistake? Would this turn her on? She makes a mistake and he's gone. No nonsense man. TisaBone: I did not say aggressive, but assertive. 1 Like |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Oluschenco(m): 1:33pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
I am the head and the commander in chief of our relationship, ao can she tell me that i stink. Tufiakwa, if there is any trash we shd settle it amicably. |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by Nayah(f): 1:58pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
lol poster it's good to have everything at the same time but balanced A lot of boyfriend I have have told me that they like a discret lady ( does not shout in public while they're arguing) caring but at the same time with a tough temper because I think some men want to be sure of their future wives can be able to bear the family no matter what, in any case and you need to be strong in your mind to manage a family especially in case of death of your husban for example. 1 Like |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by bukatyne(f): 2:33pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
@onegai: pls read your Bible well before saying some things! king xeres never told Esther to display her beauty; she was contesting to be the queen. read down n u ll see that when she needed to go to the king, she damned the consequences of been showing up without been summoned: that is not I-ll-do-anything-you-ask attitude1! it is if-i-perish-i-perish attitude! God blessed everyone wit common sense and i-m-pleasing-my-husband will not save u in God's sight if He finds you doing something wromg! if Sapphira could turn back the hands og time, she would have preferred to be 'kicked' out of ananias house than be the i-ll-please-my-king type of wife and end up in hell fire. if a woman would have problems, she would if she is assertive , aggressive or nice easygoing. don't get me wrong, if u read my previous post, u ll see that i don't support having an attitude or been rude. a woman should be submissive to her husband as long as what he decides is reasonable or not a sin. in an ideal home, the husband and wife would table the issues, make decisions and they pick the best one. afteral, it is for the both of them. everyone would be judged individually on the judgement day so the most important thing is pleasing God. for example: if God tells you as a lady not to wear trousers, u tell ur guy and he agrees. then years later, he says 'baby, i want you to wear trousers when we go out for occasions', what will you do? run and put them on because you want to save your home or be a submissive wife? there is a limit to everything. God bless you! |
Re: Men: Do You Like Assertive Women? by bukatyne(f): 2:42pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
@onegai: a man cannot love like Jesus Christ but he is expecting total submission from the wife? lol! what a double standard! get this: Christ loved the Church perfectly even when we didn't know Him and now we did, how many people can boast of total sudmission to Jesus Christ? No single body! show me a man that says he has no sin and i ll show u a pathetic liar! read Eph 5:21 - end to know the biblical roles of husband and wives. read 1cor13:1 - 8 to know what God expects from husbands and prov 31:10 - 31 to know what He expects from wives. However, we are al work in progress so nobody is perfect. God Bless you! |
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