bukatyne: @mrs chima: i m sure that if it were to be hamsky's male friend that were to be a control freak, he won't have made such a statement! men re not ready to work in their partners! no investment, saving etc but they want to reap MASSIVE dividends in terms of 'perfect' wife! have they checked/worked on themselves? do they know the flaws they have n re willin to improve? re they willing to help their women be better people? bring out the best in her? refine her in love? they just jam money n next thing, they re thinking of acquirin a beautiful washin/sex/baby making/cookin machine! let them sit down n learn wat it means to be a husband jor!

You say men are not willing to work on their partners, that makes you not just luckyy but highly favoured. I say this because your fiance is the only man willing to work on his (future)partner and bring out the best in her. Take a look at the romance board and see @Unbranded0029's post and see that MAN has sacrificed a lot to build up his partner. The moral of the story?Avoid sweeping generalisations, thank you.

bukatyne: @mrs chima: i m sure that if it were to be hamsky's male friend that were to be a control freak, he won't have made such a statement! men re not ready to work in their partners! no investment, saving etc but they want to reap MASSIVE dividends in terms of 'perfect' wife! have they checked/worked on themselves? do they know the flaws they have n re willin to improve? re they willing to help their women be better people? bring out the best in her? refine her in love? they just jam money n next thing, they re thinking of acquirin a beautiful washin/sex/baby making/cookin machine! let them sit down n learn wat it means to be a husband jor!

I hear you!

fresh_dude: You say men are not willing to work on their partners, that makes you not just luckyy but highly favoured. I say this because your fiance is the only man willing to work on his (future)partner and bring out the best in her. Take a look at the romance board and see @Unbranded0029's post and see that MAN has sacrificed a lot to build up his partner. The moral of the story?Avoid sweeping generalisations, thank you.

If men has sacrificed a lot to build up their partners, you wouldn't see many females complaining about their husbands, boyfriends, and fiances. You also wouldn't see men complaining about the women they are with only respects them when money is involved.

Something isn't adding up boo boo.

Mrs.Chima:


If men has sacrificed a lot to build up their partners, you wouldn't see many females complaining about their husbands, boyfriends, and fiances. You also wouldn't see men complaining about the women they are with only respects them when money is involved.

Something isn't adding up boo boo.

You see, even you admit that both sexes complain aboutt their partner. It's not a male or female thing ma'am, it's a human thing. What doesn't add up is people not understanding the meaning of unconditional love, mutual respect, sacrifice, compromise, tolerance, etc, and the importance of these qualities to the sustenance of relationships. Everybody goes into relationships with a chip on their shoulder and gender stereotypes which is to a large extent encouraged and amplified by the media. Relationships will record huge success rates when:
1.People begin to relate selflessly.
2.People understand that noone is perfect and that if the expect their partner to take the shtt they better be prepared to take their partners' shtt as well.
3.It doesnt matter whose right or whose wrong so:
i.Correct your partner in love.
ii. When corrected be humble enough, and proud enougj to accept responsibilty for your actions and apologise sincerely.
4.Your partner is entitled to get angry at you when you wrong them
5.Etc, etc, etc.

Mrs.Chima:


If men has sacrificed a lot to build up their partners, you wouldn't see many females complaining about their husbands, boyfriends, and fiances. You also wouldn't see men complaining about the women they are with only respects them when money is involved.

Something isn't adding up boo boo.

You see, even you admit that both sexes complain aboutt their partner. It's not a male or female thing ma'am, it's a human thing. What doesn't add up is people not understanding the meaning of unconditional love, mutual respect, sacrifice, compromise, tolerance, etc, and the importance of these qualities to the sustenance of relationships. Everybody goes into relationships with a chip on their shoulder and gender stereotypes which is to a large extent encouraged and amplified by the media. Relationships will record huge success rates when:
1.People begin to relate selflessly.
2.People understand that noone is perfect and that if the expect their partner to take the shtt they better be prepared to take their partners' shtt as well.
3.It doesnt matter whose right or whose wrong so:
i.Correct your partner in love.
ii. When corrected be humble enough, and proud enougj to accept responsibilty for your actions and apologise sincerely.
4.Your partner is entitled to get angry at you when you wrong them
5.Etc, etc, etc.

fresh_dude: You see, even you admit that both sexes complain aboutt their partner. It's not a male or female thing ma'am, it's a human thing. What doesn't add up is people not understanding the meaning of unconditional love, mutual respect, sacrifice, compromise, tolerance, etc, and the importance of these qualities to the sustenance of relationships. Everybody goes into relationships with a chip on their shoulder and gender stereotypes which is to a large extent encouraged and amplified by the media. Relationships will record huge success rates when:
1.People begin to relate selflessly.
2.People understand that noone is perfect and that if the expect their partner to take the shtt they better be prepared to take their partners' shtt as well.
3.It doesnt matter whose right or whose wrong so:
i.Correct your partner in love.
ii. When corrected be humble enough, and proud enougj to accept responsibilty for your actions and apologise sincerely.
4.Your partner is entitled to get angry at you when you wrong them
5.Etc, etc, etc.

I agree that both sexes complain about their life, relationship, and their lack of. However, you stated that men sacrificed a lot for their partners hence my last comment.

We also need to take note of what they are sacrificing before we can give merit.

Mrs.Chima:


I agree that both sexes complain about their life, relationship, and their lack of. However, you stated that men sacrificed a lot for their partners hence my last comment.

We also need to take note of what they are sacrificing before we can give merit.

Now that's conceited. Making that comment was in response to @Bukatyne who stated that men ARE NOT WILLING to make sacrifice. That's debatable though-on both sides.

You can't measure sacrifice. To me and to several guys, I sacrificed for my ex. To my ex, I wasn't giving him what he wanted. He would go "this isn't working out", I would reply "I won't nag, you can have boys' nite out, I'll listen to your problems and support you, I'll help you with work". He still wasn't happy. His idea of sacrifice was bleeping, hot exciting bleeping and more excitement in the relationship. And he would be happy. Mine was caring, over-emotional caring and building something deeper. Too bad he misrepresented what he wanted from the get-go and then broke up with me. The problem isn't him, the problem was that I chose him.
It doesn't make all men bad and not worthy of respect, it just means that I'll be more careful with my choice and if he comes back, be sure to chop his money THEN break up with him

Men will sacrifice, but most will sacrifice for the wrong girls, like how women sacrifice for the wrong guys, then we carry our bruises to face the right person and in trying so hard to protect ourselves, we hurt the right person. I still stand by being submissive, but it's upto you to decide who deserves that submission, because there is NO need in this world to meet someone who's on your side and you're too busy trying to prove a point of "respect me, respect me".

@fresh-dude: sorry for d generalization. however, if we check d statements that guys make, d 'reasons' men send their wives packin, d 'qualities' expected of women b/4 they re married, well... i never said that i m only one whose fiancee is ready to invest in her but let's face it or say it like this: the amount of men ready to invest in their women is far fewer than women that are ready to. when a man messes up, we always hear 'have patience', 'men ll always be men', 'u re too proud to be lookin at his faults', etc etc but when a woman messes up, wat do people advice her guy to do thank care. have a splendid day!

@mrs. chima: good morning, ow was urnit? my regards to ur family. have a splendid day ahead!

bukatyne: @fresh-dude: sorry for d generalization. however, if we check d statements that guys make, d 'reasons' men send their wives packin, d 'qualities' expected of women b/4 they re married, well... i never said that i m only one whose fiancee is ready to invest in her but let's face it or say it like this: the amount of men ready to invest in their women is far fewer than women that are ready to. when a man messes up, we always hear 'have patience', 'men ll always be men', 'u re too proud to be lookin at his faults', etc etc but when a woman messes up, wat do people advice her guy to do thank care. have a splendid day!

Aunty Bukky, my point is that both sexes complain about the other not giving enough or not listening enough or not caring enough. Don't forget also that men hardly complain o(except on nairaland-and that's because it's a faceless forum). I want you to read a book by TD Jakes ''HeMotions'', I guarantee you'll be blown away by the insight that book offers. Both sexes receive, process and express information in different ways and as such theirs bound to be blackholes intermittently. The key is to keep an open mind always, once you get to the point where you both realise and accept that your partner will never purposefully hurt you(when they do hurt you) and that no grudges are held or retaliations planned, FOREVER is easy to achieve.

@fresh-dude: i understand ur point. al these generalizations really have exceptions. in real life situations, i don't generalize n i don't encourage pple to. i ll try to get d book n go thru it. i know that nobody is perfect n we re al work n progress n i try to believe d best of everyone til they prove otherwise! p.s. where is d aunty bukky coming from? take care!

fresh_dude: Now that's conceited. Making that comment was in response to @Bukatyne who stated that men ARE NOT WILLING to make sacrifice. That's debatable though-on both sides.

It may be conceited, but it is the truth. Trust me, i am not relieving the women from the equation either. I have heard men complain about how they work extra hours to provide for the family, battled their family members for their wives, and host of other bullshit.

As an outsider of one's relationship, I can't say that he is doing the best that he can because he is working extra hours or battling his family members for his wife without analyzing the merit of his actions.

What was the point of battling with his family members? Was it necessary? Did it solved the issue at hand?
Why is he working extra hours? Is the wife disabled? Is the wife forbidden to step outside the home?

Bottom line, we as outsiders can't assume that the men who are complaining about doing x, y, and z are actually doing it for the benefit of the family.

If it is not necessary to do something or prove something then it has no merit. Just my opinion.

bukatyne: @mrs. chima: good morning, ow was urnit? my regards to ur family. have a splendid day ahead!

Good morning and be well!